Rachel, what's the status on your relatonship with the son of TWI leadership? You seemed at one point to be very confident about your place in this guys heart. Are you still together?
I think My3Cents has given you the best advice so far. It sounds like advice coming from someone who says they have been in TWI for 16 years. And I think it is wise to look at the advice from someone who has been involved in TWI for over 10 years, or perhaps 20 years (or even more than that) - not from someone who just took a few TWI classes in the past and then said, "No thanks, this is not for me."
You have to understand this organization has been through many changes since the death of it's founding president. Unfortunately many of those changes have not been positive. When I first got involved in TWI, (this was the mid to late 1970's) people in TWI went out of their way to see me and I lived over 50 miles away from their fellowship at the time! Do you think something like this happens in TWI today? But in the last few years one had to prove their worthiness, that they were a disciplined follower of "The Way" (this was particularly true during the LCM years) and one would have to go out of their way to prove they were someone worthy of their time and attention.
Even though LCM is no longer president and they now boast of a "kindler and gentler" TWI, I don't see things have gotten back to the way they used to be.
Sadie, currently I'd have to disagree with one point you made:
"Futher more, innies are told to date non-believers for sexual desires instead of the innie girls. This does not fall under the belief system of innie women blessing the men within the cult."
This is not true now, nor (for me) has it been true in the 14 years I have been "in"
Just what I saw.. and I started off in the USA.. rather large area too. Maybe some had different experiences, but I was never told that and never heard that even hinted at.
Learning, I've heard it taught. The reasoning was that you didn't want to risk hurting the heart of another believer if the relationship didn't work out. This was taught to the in-residence WC for sure.
Well....we ended up breaking up, they just didn't see it "working out". I am so glad i found out this information before the fact, it made the break up no problem at all, and really for the best. Also I know it was not really anything to do with me personally and I am probably much better off with someone that I have much similar views with anyways. Again, thank you all so much! This was such a wonderful learning experience on how dating is sometimes and how there are things about people that you don't always know or understand no matter how much you think you do...and no worries, I didn't get sucked in. ;)-->
I never heard that thsught or mentioned either, Belle and Smurfette.
But knowing the different wacked out things leaders in different areas have said, it wouldn't suprise me.
Actually, I was discoursged as an adult from getting too close to an "unbeliever", but I did anyway. In hind-sight....it was the best thing I ever did. Yea for me!
I hope my disagreeing didn't read as being upset with Sadie at all, just that it was my experience.
I have to say that what lindyhopper wrote is probably the most accurate:
"knowing the different wacked out things leaders in different areas have said, it wouldn't suprise me"
I had heard time and time again from Way people, (when I would visit other areas like Texas years back or California) "What Way ministry are they a part of?" This was not said in response to comments about the ministry that were disparaging.. (Spelling?) Just about different rules different areas had. No shorts, no hats at picnics, stnad, don't stand, notes, don't take notes in this teaching: all weird things sometimes that seemed area specific but HAD to be followed.
Sorry if this got off track of the original Question. I was just thinking about how in many ways it's hard to seperate our personal experience from the larger whole (if there really is such a thing)
I think the only "safe" thing to say about dating while "in" is...
Most everybody had different experiences.
I did not hear of some of the terrible things that were done to some women till I started coming here. Just because I didn't see or hear of these things, doesn't mean that it didn't happen.
I can not speak of how the mind set of people who are still "in" is. Because, I have been "out" for some time now.
For some others here, the memories of twi are hauntingly real and present. There warnings should be taken seriously.
Be very carefull of people who are extremeist's. And, people in a cult are extremist's.
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Cherished Child
Rachel, what's the status on your relatonship with the son of TWI leadership? You seemed at one point to be very confident about your place in this guys heart. Are you still together?
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Belle
Rachel, I hope things are going well for you. If you or nameless wants to contact me via pt, I'm more than willing to help in any way I can.
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What The Hay
I think My3Cents has given you the best advice so far. It sounds like advice coming from someone who says they have been in TWI for 16 years. And I think it is wise to look at the advice from someone who has been involved in TWI for over 10 years, or perhaps 20 years (or even more than that) - not from someone who just took a few TWI classes in the past and then said, "No thanks, this is not for me."
You have to understand this organization has been through many changes since the death of it's founding president. Unfortunately many of those changes have not been positive. When I first got involved in TWI, (this was the mid to late 1970's) people in TWI went out of their way to see me and I lived over 50 miles away from their fellowship at the time! Do you think something like this happens in TWI today? But in the last few years one had to prove their worthiness, that they were a disciplined follower of "The Way" (this was particularly true during the LCM years) and one would have to go out of their way to prove they were someone worthy of their time and attention.
Even though LCM is no longer president and they now boast of a "kindler and gentler" TWI, I don't see things have gotten back to the way they used to be.
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learning
Sadie, currently I'd have to disagree with one point you made:
"Futher more, innies are told to date non-believers for sexual desires instead of the innie girls. This does not fall under the belief system of innie women blessing the men within the cult."
This is not true now, nor (for me) has it been true in the 14 years I have been "in"
Just what I saw.. and I started off in the USA.. rather large area too. Maybe some had different experiences, but I was never told that and never heard that even hinted at.
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Belle
Learning, I've heard it taught. The reasoning was that you didn't want to risk hurting the heart of another believer if the relationship didn't work out. This was taught to the in-residence WC for sure.
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smurfette
I had relationships as a teen with believers and unbelievers alike. (I will not comment on how intimate we were-but that varied too.)
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nameless
Well....we ended up breaking up, they just didn't see it "working out". I am so glad i found out this information before the fact, it made the break up no problem at all, and really for the best. Also I know it was not really anything to do with me personally and I am probably much better off with someone that I have much similar views with anyways. Again, thank you all so much! This was such a wonderful learning experience on how dating is sometimes and how there are things about people that you don't always know or understand no matter how much you think you do...and no worries, I didn't get sucked in.
;)-->
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lindyhopper
I never heard that thsught or mentioned either, Belle and Smurfette.
But knowing the different wacked out things leaders in different areas have said, it wouldn't suprise me.
Actually, I was discoursged as an adult from getting too close to an "unbeliever", but I did anyway. In hind-sight....it was the best thing I ever did. Yea for me!
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learning
I hope my disagreeing didn't read as being upset with Sadie at all, just that it was my experience.
I have to say that what lindyhopper wrote is probably the most accurate:
"knowing the different wacked out things leaders in different areas have said, it wouldn't suprise me"
I had heard time and time again from Way people, (when I would visit other areas like Texas years back or California) "What Way ministry are they a part of?" This was not said in response to comments about the ministry that were disparaging.. (Spelling?) Just about different rules different areas had. No shorts, no hats at picnics, stnad, don't stand, notes, don't take notes in this teaching: all weird things sometimes that seemed area specific but HAD to be followed.
Sorry if this got off track of the original Question. I was just thinking about how in many ways it's hard to seperate our personal experience from the larger whole (if there really is such a thing)
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Zshot
I think the only "safe" thing to say about dating while "in" is...
Most everybody had different experiences.
I did not hear of some of the terrible things that were done to some women till I started coming here. Just because I didn't see or hear of these things, doesn't mean that it didn't happen.
I can not speak of how the mind set of people who are still "in" is. Because, I have been "out" for some time now.
For some others here, the memories of twi are hauntingly real and present. There warnings should be taken seriously.
Be very carefull of people who are extremeist's. And, people in a cult are extremist's.
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act2
Nameless, glad that you came here to ask questions. Glad that you are taking the break up without much heartache.
Things will be fine, just different for a while.
Keep your head up & be proud of who you are.
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