My parents and brothers waited.... patiently? for me to come to my senses and get outa there. I had already come to my senses years before but like you and so many, I was NOT breaking my marriage vows, period.
Lets not even mention risking losing my babies.
Thank God my mom, dad and brothers didn't know the full story or knowing them, there would have been some messy actions.
They waited while I lied to them and they knew it. They played along while I kept my secrets and they knew it.
They waited while I played TWI's game and turned away one of my brothers.
They waited when my husband died and they couldn't go to his memorial service. (ok that scene was pretty nasty, but they restrained themselves more than they could have).
They accepted that they'd not get a chance to say goodbye to their only son in law.
TWI stole much from my family.
They were there when I called them and said 'will you come get us'?
Awww, Shellon, it sucks what we put them through, but doesn't it make us appreciate them that much more? I think it makes it so much easier to be more aware of things that might crop up as well as the experience that we can share with others and perhaps, hopefully, spare them the same pain.
I know this Christmas was the sweetest, most loving, tender and healing time I can remember. We all appreciate, cherish and love each other so much more and we're quick to make sure others know how much we love them, too.
One of the reasons life is SO good outside of twi, is that for the first time in my adult life, I am allowed to be who I am.
I gave up all interest and hobbies at the behest of leadership, as they were not deemed profitable for moving the word....so many dreams and goals....
I gave up all individuality....as I was informed in no uncertain terms that I was to have no opinions outside of those dictated by twi leaders, and later my husband.....
and folks wonder why I am such an opinionated, immovable witch these days.....lol I guess that`s what comes from 20 years of supressing *me* .... I am determined to be and enjoy the person that I spent 20 years pretending didn`t matter.....lol
For the first time in my life, my opinions, my desires, my thoughts and goals are important and worthey of consideration.
You know what is REALLY wierd, is when you leave twi as a couple....after your twi faces begin to fall away, you realise that you really don`t know this person at ALL!
OMG ....to wake up and realise that you are married to a stranger, and you really are not sure you like them at all is scarey.
You both have to go through your own growth process, develope who YOU are.....it is quite humorous in our case..... me the flaky animal nut, who rescues every stray that crosses my path, be they animal or human, married to the ever practical, logical, frugal, non animal person.....it is astonishing who we became, when finally allowed....
quote: and folks wonder why I am such an opinionated, immovable witch these days.....lol I guess that`s what comes from 20 years of supressing *me* .... I am determined to be and enjoy the person that I spent 20 years pretending didn`t matter.....lol
Ain't it great, Rascal?? :D-->
I'm rather opinionated, myself. I'm also much more aware of "that line in the sand" that I've drawn and I like to think I'll never let someone cross that line again.
I also enjoy just "being me" regardless of who I am. Some people are going to like me and some people aren't, but at least they have the opportunity to know me - who I really am
Rascal, quite true. My poor ex.. I harbor no bad feelings or anything either.. I think she woke up one morning to find that she was married to a 48 year old hippie. I on the other hand, woke up to find I was married to an approximately the same age "redneck", heh heh.. I thought it was kind of "cool". But she didn't. Can't blame her, either. Our personalities are SO different. And a lot of that personality was rather suppressed during da vey years.
Funny how some people think they can change the other. Even with counseling, dating, talking, getting to know each other- I think most in da ministry had no idea who or what they married to begin with. Wait twenty years or so. I don't think people can keep their authentic self in a box for twenty+ years, in the guise of renewing the mind, or other such religious hogwash. Something's gotta give eventually.
I am not trying discredit the concept of the renewing of the mind. I just think we got it wrong- used "renew your mind" to confine the mind and logical thinking at times, in self and others.
Actually, I thought it was great! We were so different- before my way days, I was the guy that had the long hair back in a pony tail. Wife, she was the kind of gal that would take a sharp pair of scissors and cut the pony tail off..
Mr Hammeroni said : I am not trying discredit the concept of the renewing of the mind. I just think we got it wrong- used "renew your mind" to confine the mind and logical thinking at times, in self and others
===============================================
:)--> The most reasonable statement I've heard around here in a very very long time.
Rascal said: You know what is REALLY wierd, is when you leave twi as a couple....after your twi faces begin to fall away, you realise that you really don`t know this person at ALL!
That is so true!
Plus, my husband was several years older than I and settled in a career etc, while I was a pretty free wheeling college girl ( he was one of the wows who got me into the word my last semester at college.) He had had more time to develop hobbies etc, prior to the Way. So when we got out he knew the types of things he was interested in exploring(motorbikes and gardening.)
Not me. In college my hobbies were clothes and boys, pretty much in that order, too. I didn't do much with my career then, either.So for me these past few years have been years of exploration, far more so than for him. I think this is pretty much what I would have done in my twenties, if I hadn't been so busy with ministy stuff.
I'm glad Mr Bramble finds by fleeting intersts in this or that amusing.
I am enjoying exploring my interests, developing within my self the characteristics I desire.
I have the horses I always dreamed of rescuing/raising/traing...the shepherds that I love to train...it is a goal to one day train a rescue dog and operate as a team for disasters.
I thoroughly enjoy my karate classes and the competition of the tournaments....I never was athletic or won any awards before, but now my walls are full of them.
These years are the most enjoyable of my entire life.....the freedom to persue personal interests, to be allowed to chose the direction my own life takes, are things that most people take for granted.... I am now indulging myself for the first time in my life and am very very apreciative of just what a blessing and privelege it is.
quote:Steve, are my family and yours related? :)-->
Shellon, we might be distant cousins for all I know. Seems your family has the same "spirit" as mine - you mess with one of us, you've messed with all of us. :)--> :D--> :)-->
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Shellon
Steve, are my family and yours related?
:)-->
My parents and brothers waited.... patiently? for me to come to my senses and get outa there. I had already come to my senses years before but like you and so many, I was NOT breaking my marriage vows, period.
Lets not even mention risking losing my babies.
Thank God my mom, dad and brothers didn't know the full story or knowing them, there would have been some messy actions.
They waited while I lied to them and they knew it. They played along while I kept my secrets and they knew it.
They waited while I played TWI's game and turned away one of my brothers.
They waited when my husband died and they couldn't go to his memorial service. (ok that scene was pretty nasty, but they restrained themselves more than they could have).
They accepted that they'd not get a chance to say goodbye to their only son in law.
TWI stole much from my family.
They were there when I called them and said 'will you come get us'?
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Belle
Awww, Shellon, it sucks what we put them through, but doesn't it make us appreciate them that much more? I think it makes it so much easier to be more aware of things that might crop up as well as the experience that we can share with others and perhaps, hopefully, spare them the same pain.
I know this Christmas was the sweetest, most loving, tender and healing time I can remember. We all appreciate, cherish and love each other so much more and we're quick to make sure others know how much we love them, too.
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rascal
One of the reasons life is SO good outside of twi, is that for the first time in my adult life, I am allowed to be who I am.
I gave up all interest and hobbies at the behest of leadership, as they were not deemed profitable for moving the word....so many dreams and goals....
I gave up all individuality....as I was informed in no uncertain terms that I was to have no opinions outside of those dictated by twi leaders, and later my husband.....
and folks wonder why I am such an opinionated, immovable witch these days.....lol I guess that`s what comes from 20 years of supressing *me* .... I am determined to be and enjoy the person that I spent 20 years pretending didn`t matter.....lol
For the first time in my life, my opinions, my desires, my thoughts and goals are important and worthey of consideration.
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rascal
oops
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rascal
You know what is REALLY wierd, is when you leave twi as a couple....after your twi faces begin to fall away, you realise that you really don`t know this person at ALL!
OMG ....to wake up and realise that you are married to a stranger, and you really are not sure you like them at all is scarey.
You both have to go through your own growth process, develope who YOU are.....it is quite humorous in our case..... me the flaky animal nut, who rescues every stray that crosses my path, be they animal or human, married to the ever practical, logical, frugal, non animal person.....it is astonishing who we became, when finally allowed....
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Belle
Ain't it great, Rascal??
:D-->
I'm rather opinionated, myself. I'm also much more aware of "that line in the sand" that I've drawn and I like to think I'll never let someone cross that line again.
I also enjoy just "being me" regardless of who I am. Some people are going to like me and some people aren't, but at least they have the opportunity to know me - who I really am
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Ham
Rascal, quite true. My poor ex.. I harbor no bad feelings or anything either.. I think she woke up one morning to find that she was married to a 48 year old hippie. I on the other hand, woke up to find I was married to an approximately the same age "redneck", heh heh.. I thought it was kind of "cool". But she didn't. Can't blame her, either. Our personalities are SO different. And a lot of that personality was rather suppressed during da vey years.
Funny how some people think they can change the other. Even with counseling, dating, talking, getting to know each other- I think most in da ministry had no idea who or what they married to begin with. Wait twenty years or so. I don't think people can keep their authentic self in a box for twenty+ years, in the guise of renewing the mind, or other such religious hogwash. Something's gotta give eventually.
I am not trying discredit the concept of the renewing of the mind. I just think we got it wrong- used "renew your mind" to confine the mind and logical thinking at times, in self and others.
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Belle
And what exactly is wrong with being a "redneck"?
;)-->
Belle
Somewhat Cultured Redneck
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Ham
Actually, I thought it was great! We were so different- before my way days, I was the guy that had the long hair back in a pony tail. Wife, she was the kind of gal that would take a sharp pair of scissors and cut the pony tail off..
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Shellon
Mr Hammeroni said : I am not trying discredit the concept of the renewing of the mind. I just think we got it wrong- used "renew your mind" to confine the mind and logical thinking at times, in self and others
===============================================
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Bramble
Rascal said: You know what is REALLY wierd, is when you leave twi as a couple....after your twi faces begin to fall away, you realise that you really don`t know this person at ALL!
That is so true!
Plus, my husband was several years older than I and settled in a career etc, while I was a pretty free wheeling college girl ( he was one of the wows who got me into the word my last semester at college.) He had had more time to develop hobbies etc, prior to the Way. So when we got out he knew the types of things he was interested in exploring(motorbikes and gardening.)
Not me. In college my hobbies were clothes and boys, pretty much in that order, too. I didn't do much with my career then, either.So for me these past few years have been years of exploration, far more so than for him. I think this is pretty much what I would have done in my twenties, if I hadn't been so busy with ministy stuff.
I'm glad Mr Bramble finds by fleeting intersts in this or that amusing.
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rascal
I am enjoying exploring my interests, developing within my self the characteristics I desire.
I have the horses I always dreamed of rescuing/raising/traing...the shepherds that I love to train...it is a goal to one day train a rescue dog and operate as a team for disasters.
I thoroughly enjoy my karate classes and the competition of the tournaments....I never was athletic or won any awards before, but now my walls are full of them.
These years are the most enjoyable of my entire life.....the freedom to persue personal interests, to be allowed to chose the direction my own life takes, are things that most people take for granted.... I am now indulging myself for the first time in my life and am very very apreciative of just what a blessing and privelege it is.
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Steve Swenton
Shellon, we might be distant cousins for all I know. Seems your family has the same "spirit" as mine - you mess with one of us, you've messed with all of us.
:)--> 
:D--> 
:)-->
Just a thought...
Steve.
¥
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Shellon
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Ham
Belle, I hope I made it clear.. I think "rednecks" are wonderful! Hey, "somewhat cultured" rednecks have to be really special.
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Belle
LOL, Mr H. I was jest pullin yer leg. Funnin' with ya.
:D-->
I'm rather fond of them myself.
;)--> And I really have a thing for a pick-up man, but hippies with pony tails are pretty darn cool, too.
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