Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

Weird thoughts


Steve!
 Share

Recommended Posts

You know how if you drop buttered bread, it always falls to the floor butter side down?

And you know how if you drop a cat, it always lands on its feet?

What would happen if you strapped buttered bread to the back of a cat and dropped it?


Someone said that capital punishment makes our government a murderer. So does the prison system make our government a gay dungeon master?


You know how sometimes you fall asleep on your arm, and it goes numb? Well, that's the arm you should do self-love with, cuz it feels like someone else is doing it.


I hate squirrels. I was chasing one around the back yard last night, and at the last minute, it ran up a tree!

So now the car is totalled . . .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
Originally posted by Steve!:

I hate squirrels. I was chasing one around the back yard last night, and at the last minute, it ran up a tree!

So now the car is totalled . . .

My father-in-law (God rest his soul) was known on occasion to drive up on the curb to try to hit squirrels!

George

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

OK, here's one: On a pet documentary, the president and first lady were interviewed. The journalist stated that around 75% of dog owners admitted to kissing their pets.

Laura Bush said that yes, they kiss theirs. Then The President said sheepishly, "Well, yes, but not on a regular basis."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I just found out that the buttered bread thing doesn't work with newborn kittens.

It just made a huge mess, and Cindy! got all mad at me, asking questions like, "How come all the kittens are covered with butter, and why is the mom cat all freaked out???"

It's not worth it, I tell you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
Originally posted by Steve!:

I just found out that the buttered bread thing doesn't work with newborn kittens.

It just made a huge mess, and Cindy! got all mad at me, asking questions like, "How come all the kittens are covered with butter, and why is the mom cat all freaked out???"

It's not worth it, I tell you.

Well, of course! The bread thing is only gravity - butter is denser than bread. The cats always land on their feet thing is instinct - cats turn themselves around - and cats are denser than either bread or butter. I mean, c'mon, wouldn't you? Think about it. If you were dropped from a five story building head first, wouldn't YOU turn YOURSELF around? And if someone pasted buttered bread to the top of your head - buttered side up, of course, do you really think the butter or the bread or which was on top of which would keep you from turning around?

Okay, having said all that, I think that this thread should be closely monitored by parents; children DO try this stuff out by dropping cats & kittens out of windows.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...