Why shouldn't I just go to "twig" (or whatever they are calling it now...)

[Ham]

Well, they are just so "nice". So "blessed" about everything.. even give you coffee in a re-used bleached styrofoam cup..

Of course they are "nice".

Of course they won't confront you, at the first meeting.

I wouldn't be suprised if they weren't even annoyed because you failed to put a check in the basket as it passed, at least for the first half dozen meetings.

Just wait.

Niceness is not in their nature, or a character of Der Vey. It is only a TOOL, a means to an end.

A means, to make merchandise of you.

Enough niceness, and you OWE them.

You will owe them, to take their stinking class.

You will owe them, fifteen percent of your income.

You will owe them, your time, your blood, your sweat, your tears.

[Ham]

But all this hasn't turned me into a curmudgeon or anything.. I still like niceness, if its genuine.

Personally, I object to it being used as some kind of tool, to disarm the unwary.

I object to it being used in such a manner, to be eventually discarded when they feel it is no longer needed.

I think the most abusive relationships were founded in this manner, this ugly, deformed version of niceness, only to turn from niceness to "you owe me".

[Ham]

Yep. And they won't make you sell your house, at least the first day of involvement..

Cripe. They use niceness and love like a drug. And the unwary is hooked before they know it.

Sure, you get a free hit a couple of times..

[Belle]

You know, Ham, I played the nice game on a few co-workers of mine.

One girl I kinda liked, but thought she was too young to get to be tooo buddy buddy with. She thought I was really wise (HA!) and would come to me for advice, so I shared da verd with her and brought her to fellowship. She loved it (of course)! Then after a few times I was "encouraged" to loan her a few STS tapes....then to find out if she listened to them.....then to make sure she listened to them. She got annoyed with all the pressure and split. I don't blame her and I still feel bad about it.

Another girl I absolutely adored and enjoyed being around had some major life issues going on so I invited her to fellowship. She had a blast (of course) and started coming regularly and even took the WAP class. I didn't "undershepherd" her for that, though. Soon after taking the class she split because our hfc started confronting her on everything; I think she did more pointing out what was wrong instead of encouraging and showing patience. shock shock!

[Ham]

Sad, Belle. I did the same kind of thing too.

Seems by about the mid nineties, we couldn't show people enough niceness to make new folks want to stay.

People liked me, but they wouldn't commit to the classes or ministry for anything.

[Bramble]

I heard from an innie not too long ago, one who's had a foot half out the door for years, but still stays.

Innie was all about how nice and sweet everything is...and I'm sure it is. I know the current folk innie goes to fellowship with, none of them were Nazis.

Innie kind of hoped we would come back, now that everything is nice(even though we moved a thousand miles away and there are no TWI fellowships in this area.)

I explained how I didn't think TWI was a safe place for my family--when you never know what kind of leadershi+ you'll get, and your protection against crap leaders is in who you know that has higher rank than crap leader...Something's not right there, Innie friend.

Innie also was asking about off shoots--they have a leadership change coming this fall, and you know how those go--some people have to leave, because new leadership is after them, cleaning out the household. I suspect this innie might be out the door if the new leadershi+ gives them grief.

I told innie what I knew, which isn't much. Innie really needs to get a computer! But I suspect I will hear from Innie again if things become not nice.

[dmiller]

quote:

But all this hasn't turned me into a curmudgeon or anything.. I still like niceness, if its genuine.

Personally, I object to it being used as some kind of tool, to disarm the unwary.

BINNNGGGGG---GO!!! Ya hit the nail on the head Mr. H.