Yeah.......I kept moving in the same direction BECAUSE.....I obeyed twi leadership and REFUSED TO ALLOW ANY OUTSIDE FORCE TO OPPOSE MY PUSHED-INERTIA.
I wasn't a quitter.......I was a COMPETITOR.
Once in the corps......I wanted to graduate, despite some misguided corps concepts.
I gave it my "all".......guess I have no "middle gear." :P
Distractions were a part of the challenge.....and I refused to acknowledge them.
Why stop???.............when victory seemed so close at hand???
Yup............just keep moving, and you'll see what lies beyond the bend.
IT NEVER HAPPENED.
Twi has no intentions of changing direction.......even now, the financial inertia will keep the steam engine chugging along and pulling a train of followers.
The train will follow the veepee tracks......no derailing this train of waybrain thinking.
ONLY TWO CHOICES REMAIN: 1) stay on the train, or 2) get off.
Thank you for your heart and soul. Definitely something TWI never encouraged unless TWI felt they had your heart and your soul and were sucking it dry!
While the artificial fuzziness of the inertia of the comfort zone was certainly a factor in why so many of us stayed in TWI as long as we did, I think the TWI-induced exit phobia was an even greater factor. There is a psychological interplay between our natural inertial & exit phobia.
Exit phobia exists on a spectrum or continuum. On one end, the factor for us might have been that we were apprehensive that we would loose a relationship with family members or friends whom we loved very much that remained in TWI.
Perhaps a midrange concern would be that we would be viewed as a quitter and therefore scum in the tainted eyes of TWI.
At the extreme end of the exit phobia, TWI-promoted concepts such as family members or ourselves becoming very ill & even dying, serious accidents, financial collapse, possession, & many other outlandish claims designed by TWI to induce fear-based exit phobia.
Like Groucho said in another thread today, TWI is a bait & switch scam. We were baited on the recruitment side with the supposed love & grace of God, only to have TWI, by deceitful design, switch the arrangement to member control via rigid legalism and fear.
Then throw in the continual thought reform via covert packaged persuasion, along with the lousy mixture of manipulated inertia, exit phobia, and many other aspects, & we end up with years or decades of TWI's oppressive mental captivity.
The chapter of the blue book should not have been entitled, Relase from Your Prisons, but rather, Building a Glazed ....brick Prison for Duped Douloses.
Exit phobia exists on a spectrum or continuum. On one end, the factor for us might have been that we were apprehensive that we would loose a relationship with family members or friends whom we loved very much that remained in TWI.
Perhaps a midrange concern would be that we would be viewed as a quitter and therefore scum in the tainted eyes of TWI.
At the extreme end of the exit phobia, TWI-promoted concepts such as family members or ourselves becoming very ill & even dying, serious accidents, financial collapse, possession, & many other outlandish claims designed by TWI to induce fear-based exit phobia.
jkboehme,
I agree with this exit-phobia continuum. For me, it all resided on the low-end......factoring into my decisions and all. To me, my God would not abandon me and allow the devil to rough-shod his way thru my life. Just couldn't buy into that devil-will-kill-you manipulation.
I just didn't believe that for one-new-york-minute.
Probably, more than anything........my youth and competitiveness were MAJOR PLAYERS in why I continued to stay with twi despite the red flags. And, while on the field........I did continue to see prayers answered and three or four miracles. Yes, instantaneous healings.
Of course, all of this was IN SPITE OF twi's manipulation and shenanigans.
BUT.......as years roll by.......and I gain more access to information, and cover-ups........I KNEW, FOR ME, IT WAS TIME TO EXIT TWI. No more trying to "build a fortress with rotten lumber." No more faxing reports to twi leadership in "this paper blizzard of reporting back." No more trying to salvage "a ministry with lusting lords in leadership."
I was empowered to WALK AWAY FROM TWI.......and never look back. And, the loss of "friends".........yeah, right. Co-workers, maybe. Comaraderie and all........but NOT friends.
And, eight years later........I vividly see twi's continual spiral DOWNWARD.
Exit phobia exists on a spectrum or continuum. On one end, the factor for us might have been that we were apprehensive that we would loose a relationship with family members or friends whom we loved very much that remained in TWI.
Perhaps a midrange concern would be that we would be viewed as a quitter and therefore scum in the tainted eyes of TWI.
At the extreme end of the exit phobia, TWI-promoted concepts such as family members or ourselves becoming very ill & even dying, serious accidents, financial collapse, possession, & many other outlandish claims designed by TWI to induce fear-based exit phobia.
I experienced all of this. I was first paranoid about getting possessed and having horrible things happen to me and to my "earthly" family because of my "disobedience" to TWI. I was worried about getting some awful disease or in a debilitating car crash, etc. I was in constant fear as I started doubting TWI and recognizing its effect on my mental, emotional and physical health.
Then, because I really had a hard time with people not liking me, I was hesitant to leave or make waves for fear of the labels and ugliness that I knew would follow along with everyone talking about me behind my back, as TWIts (especially leadership) are wont to do.
Finally, I realized that the five years I had spent trying to stay in TWI to salvage my marriage and to try to get my ex to see TWI for the evil that it is, was moot. If he would leave me because I left TWI, then it really wasn't a loving, strong marriage to begin with. A husband who would choose a group of people over his wife couldn't have really married for love - for better or worse - under every situation and in every condition... and so I shouldn't continue making myself sick and miserable trying to salvage something that wasn't there to begin with.
Once I got past all those hurdles - which was probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life - I was able to leave it all behind and start all over. I am so much more peaceful, happier, healthier and I truly believe that a bad day outside the oppression of TWI is much better than a good day in the midst of all that ever was.
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rascal
Brilliant Skyrider!
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skyrider
Thanks, rascal. :)
Yeah.......I kept moving in the same direction BECAUSE.....I obeyed twi leadership and REFUSED TO ALLOW ANY OUTSIDE FORCE TO OPPOSE MY PUSHED-INERTIA.
I wasn't a quitter.......I was a COMPETITOR.
Once in the corps......I wanted to graduate, despite some misguided corps concepts.
I gave it my "all".......guess I have no "middle gear." :P
Distractions were a part of the challenge.....and I refused to acknowledge them.
Why stop???.............when victory seemed so close at hand???
Yup............just keep moving, and you'll see what lies beyond the bend.
IT NEVER HAPPENED.
Twi has no intentions of changing direction.......even now, the financial inertia will keep the steam engine chugging along and pulling a train of followers.
The train will follow the veepee tracks......no derailing this train of waybrain thinking.
ONLY TWO CHOICES REMAIN: 1) stay on the train, or 2) get off.
I jumped and rolled to freedom.
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A la prochaine
Sky,
Good words!
Thank you for your heart and soul. Definitely something TWI never encouraged unless TWI felt they had your heart and your soul and were sucking it dry!
Sorry..I guess I'm just not as flowery as you :(
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Belle
Absolutely Awesome, Skyrider!!
That's an excellent description and explanation of how TWI worked on us.
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markomalley
Good summary. The crazy part about it is how long those thought processes keep working even after we've departed TWI.
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jkboehme
Great post with good insights,Skyrider.
While the artificial fuzziness of the inertia of the comfort zone was certainly a factor in why so many of us stayed in TWI as long as we did, I think the TWI-induced exit phobia was an even greater factor. There is a psychological interplay between our natural inertial & exit phobia.
Exit phobia exists on a spectrum or continuum. On one end, the factor for us might have been that we were apprehensive that we would loose a relationship with family members or friends whom we loved very much that remained in TWI.
Perhaps a midrange concern would be that we would be viewed as a quitter and therefore scum in the tainted eyes of TWI.
At the extreme end of the exit phobia, TWI-promoted concepts such as family members or ourselves becoming very ill & even dying, serious accidents, financial collapse, possession, & many other outlandish claims designed by TWI to induce fear-based exit phobia.
Like Groucho said in another thread today, TWI is a bait & switch scam. We were baited on the recruitment side with the supposed love & grace of God, only to have TWI, by deceitful design, switch the arrangement to member control via rigid legalism and fear.
Then throw in the continual thought reform via covert packaged persuasion, along with the lousy mixture of manipulated inertia, exit phobia, and many other aspects, & we end up with years or decades of TWI's oppressive mental captivity.
The chapter of the blue book should not have been entitled, Relase from Your Prisons, but rather, Building a Glazed ....brick Prison for Duped Douloses.
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skyrider
jkboehme,
I agree with this exit-phobia continuum. For me, it all resided on the low-end......factoring into my decisions and all. To me, my God would not abandon me and allow the devil to rough-shod his way thru my life. Just couldn't buy into that devil-will-kill-you manipulation.
I just didn't believe that for one-new-york-minute.
Probably, more than anything........my youth and competitiveness were MAJOR PLAYERS in why I continued to stay with twi despite the red flags. And, while on the field........I did continue to see prayers answered and three or four miracles. Yes, instantaneous healings.
Of course, all of this was IN SPITE OF twi's manipulation and shenanigans.
BUT.......as years roll by.......and I gain more access to information, and cover-ups........I KNEW, FOR ME, IT WAS TIME TO EXIT TWI. No more trying to "build a fortress with rotten lumber." No more faxing reports to twi leadership in "this paper blizzard of reporting back." No more trying to salvage "a ministry with lusting lords in leadership."
I was empowered to WALK AWAY FROM TWI.......and never look back. And, the loss of "friends".........yeah, right. Co-workers, maybe. Comaraderie and all........but NOT friends.
And, eight years later........I vividly see twi's continual spiral DOWNWARD.
:)
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Belle
I experienced all of this. I was first paranoid about getting possessed and having horrible things happen to me and to my "earthly" family because of my "disobedience" to TWI. I was worried about getting some awful disease or in a debilitating car crash, etc. I was in constant fear as I started doubting TWI and recognizing its effect on my mental, emotional and physical health.
Then, because I really had a hard time with people not liking me, I was hesitant to leave or make waves for fear of the labels and ugliness that I knew would follow along with everyone talking about me behind my back, as TWIts (especially leadership) are wont to do.
Finally, I realized that the five years I had spent trying to stay in TWI to salvage my marriage and to try to get my ex to see TWI for the evil that it is, was moot. If he would leave me because I left TWI, then it really wasn't a loving, strong marriage to begin with. A husband who would choose a group of people over his wife couldn't have really married for love - for better or worse - under every situation and in every condition... and so I shouldn't continue making myself sick and miserable trying to salvage something that wasn't there to begin with.
Once I got past all those hurdles - which was probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life - I was able to leave it all behind and start all over. I am so much more peaceful, happier, healthier and I truly believe that a bad day outside the oppression of TWI is much better than a good day in the midst of all that ever was.
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