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Pill for Abundant Living


T-Bone
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  • An exciting announcement for those who suffer from thinking-exhaustion. The pharmaceutical experts [and we use that term loosely] at Wonders are Yummy have concocted the ultimate one-pill-does-it-all! After years of research [and we use that term loosely], studying the effects of pills from other manufacturers and field experimentation they have come up with a pill that is totally, thoroughly, and throughly original [and we use those terms loosely]. What is usually described by faithful users as a "miracle of science" [and they probably use that term loosely], is really a very simple formula for success: Copy the ingredients used in the competitor's pills, throw in a few of their own choosing, and energize the mix with the Force from Star Wars. These are some of the benefits that thousands have claimed the Pill for Abundant Living offers:
    Makes life meaningful.
    Increases prosperity.
    Develops more harmony in the home.
    Enables you to separate truth from error.
    Overcomes fear and worry.
    Helps maintain a positive attitude.

    Tired of thinking? Let the Pill for Abundant Living do that for you!

    Possible side effects: Wonders are Yummy adamantly warns those on the Pill that discontinuing use can lead to becoming a channel for Linda Blair, Ted Patrick or Larry King [whoever gets through the trap door first]… Reputable pharmacists, psychologists, philosophers, theologians, informed mechanics, and people who have an acute sense of nonsense list possible side effects from continued use of the Pill: loss of contact with family and friends, inexplicable draining of finances, adultery, divorce, frequent change of addresses and employment, abnormally stunted career advancement, seeing demons behind every tree, inability to communicate with people who don't use the Pill, sleep deprivation, overwhelming sense of meeting burn-out, flagrant disdain for the viewpoints of others, increased wear and tear on living room furniture, loss of intellectual appetite, increased desire to use the powers of the mind to control traffic lights, and absolute obeisance to the Pill and the manufacturers of the Pill.
Edited by T-Bone
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This is funny... but I honestly feel somewhat paranoid as to why there aren't more replys. :unsure:

I took that pill, and was elevated above the common man... 'they' could only be truely trusted if they took that pill too... otherwise, believer 'be not deceived'

Side effects can be very painfull~

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This is funny... but I honestly feel somewhat paranoid as to why there aren't more replys. :unsure:

I don't know - I've got a pretty odd sense of humor and guess some people don't know what to make of my silly stuff...In some wacky weird way this is part of how I deal with things and it's therapeutic for me.

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  • 5 weeks later...

ATTENTION

Now

available for the First time

direct to you at home

The

FREEDOM OF THOUGHT

PILL

We've all seen the ads

"Promotes Harmony IN the Home"

"Increases prosperity"

"Overcomes fear and worry"....

But, what they don't tell you is that you have to take these pills every time something starts to go wrong!!! The toaster breaks making breakfast a chore, take a pill, you lose your job take a pill, you disagree with the MOG take two pills. AND ALL THIS IS IN ADDITION TO THE REQUIRED TWO PILLS EVERY NIGHT AND EVERY MORNING.

Users have reported taking as many as 15 pills in one DAY!!! At $60.00 for 120 pills this can easily mount up to as much as $7.50 per day or $225.00 PER MONTH PER FAMILY MEMBER. And YOU HAVE TO TAKE THESE PILLS FOR the rest of Your life WHICH MEANS YOU ARE ADDICTED!!!

Not so with our Product

The first day take Two pills with breakfast, Two With Lunch and Two with Dinner

The second day Two with Breakfast , One with Lunch and one with Dinner

The third day one with each meal

Days Four through 10 take one pill with breakfast.

After that take a pill only when you find yourself slipping back into your old thought patterns that led to your dependence on our competitors product.

Your Order will consist of one bottle of 60, enough for a family of four of our FREEDOM OF THOUGHT pills along with one free refill within the first year of the original order. And of course it comes with our money back guarantee.

ORDER TODAY

START ENJOYING YOUR NEW FOUND FREEDOM

"I am so thankful for Dr Farkletush for these wonderful pills, I actually look forward to getting up"- Corabundant Sharenomore

"I have found new energy and purpose..." Harriday Planless

"My family has become reunited" - Wowey Spitducker

Edited by templelady
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National News Briefs

FDA issues ‘Mark and Avoid’ label

By Zipp BattyLips

WASHINGTON – Hot on the heels of an ongoing investigation of Wonders Are Yummy by Ohio state Attorney General Liver MonkeyTush, officials at the Food and Drug Administration are taking an overly cautious approach. Chief FDA spokesman, Dorfus Snickleboob said “Anytime a pill manufacturer refuses to list the sources of their ingredients – red flags start popping up on our radar! That’s why we’re issuing a ‘Mark and Avoid’ label on the Pill for Abundant Living.”

Some critics say the FDA is testing the waters with this case and will more than likely persecute other offshoots like the Freedom of Thought Pill or Tequila Rx. Neither one of these companies has released a comment on the FDA’s action – but one consumer who actually claims to use all three products, Slimy Flippin Humperdinck [who was found naked and vomiting over the porcelain throne at the time of his statement] said, “I totally bereeev [sic] this ain’t happen’ – it’s not – that’s my realty [sic] and I’m stinking [sic] to it.”

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  • 3 weeks later...

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