Ham

"As a potential follower, you will need to fill out a simple financial statement, and provide verification of your statements. A simple copy of your last three years of Federal tax returns will be sufficient, as long as you include a sworn affidavit claiming that you had no other income. We will also need to know your dental and physical condition. Your physician will have the proper forms allowing us to view your records. While our qualifications are rigid, many will find "membership" in the organization worthwhile. Besides, we just can't have any poverty or sickness- this is the true household ya know." It would not suprise me if it came to this. Almost like an application for an exclusive country club somewhere.. many were told to check people's teeth before witnessing to them! No "bums" allowed in da vey! In my opinion, this is the real definition of "freely availing." It is "available" only to "the best, the very few". Those who have no money or real problems need not apply.

Freely avail- "I, the party of the first part, hereby forfeit my freedom to avail myself of anything in this organization. I understand that I am to 'freely avail' myself of time, evil material weatlth, and common sense to and for the organization. Results are not guaranteed, only da verd. Therefore, I understand that by freely availing, I cannot reasonably expect any return on my 'investment'."

I would like to see how unemotional the current "research team" would be if a current wayfer disagreed with what they were "researching".

Might be more appropriate if they said "we do not commit our work to publication.. anymore." The limited edition of the few pages of Vey rag can hardly qualify as "publication".

Holy cow.. sounds almost like some real life advice some people were given.. usually the kid WOULD be better off somewhere else.

Thanks Belle! I think Pat could use this one on the new site.. call it "coffee cup dilemma".

Dear Helpless: Why not use sea water? NO, not for cleaning the cups, you farking idiot. Use it to MAKE the coffee. Your guests will no longer consume the coffee, hence, you will not even need clean cups. By the way, I am from Iowa. Tell anybody that you are from Iowa again, and I will break BOTH of your arms. Love, Hel.

"Dear Heloise, I am in a quandry as to what to do with the used coffee styrofoam cups. The slobs that come to my little meeting leave tobacco stains, lipstick, chewing gum, and goobers in the cups. I am now finding it almost impossible to remove said stains, and am about ready to mark and avoid the whole bunch of idiots. Please tell me what to do.. Helpless in Podunk Iowa (no aspersions intended to the great state of Iowa) .

Thanks Jim! Next: "101 ways to make water more appetizing for your wayfer fellowship." Just kidding..

Steve, you really beat me to that one! "no friends when it comes to the word" in a lot of ways really meant "only friends you can have are in the ministry." Can't "fully share" (there's another one!) with anyone outside of the built of straw framework of TWI. Thank God I developed a few real friendships outside of that mess before I left. The threat of expulsion was and still is very real, very threatening for a lot of folks. They really would have nowhere to go, no support, no real friends.

Ha ha ha ha ha..

Thanks for reminding me.. it was the sacred, never to be disavowed "triple dog dare". I'd still be careful, it's been know to freeze over in he** every once in a while..

That's pretty funny. Just don't lick the light pole because of a "double dog dare".

Belle, reminds me of the Christmas Story, family had to eat at the chinese place.. duck instead of turkey. Still had its head (that was easily remedied).

Interesting though. My english prof taught that clarity only often comes through revision, and sometimes much revision. You should see how some of my almost prize winning papers started. Some of us poor oafs probably don't know what they are talking about until things really get going.

Sometimes it is hard to be as clear as mud..

Heh heh heh.. but always remember, the crack may be in the bottom or along the side.

I don't know.. sick, no. Sometimes I feel rather angry about what put up with and/or did in the organization in the name of God. I think if I witnessed first hand some of the real abuse, I would feel pretty sick.

Oh well. Maybe it is too late this year, but maybe Uncle Hairy and I could cook up something good for them next year.. Hey, spend it on something good, like a bottle of Tequila or something.

What a good idea! George could "meet the fockers"

Say what anyone else will, one of the best things I ever heard Vic say was at a meeting with the WOW's right after finishing the year. "A lot of you guys should really consider learning a trade." I remember that he went on even more specifically that it would involve going to school. No plug for the corpse, or more commitment, just good advice. They should have taken that little statement and put it in a book.

True. Since I did not know him personally, I could not make that judgement either. But I do know where the underlings took things. These little phrases were used to manipulate in a big way. No wings in life? God not spitting enough in your direction? You must not be "improving' on the tithe enough. Now it's not ten percent as a minimum, but fifteen, even twenty. Forget any logic; your problem can't be because you have not improved yourself enough to be employable.

Gotta find some explanation for the presence of all of the holiday nuts I run into..

My kids got their very own copy of "Earl the Christmas Squirrel." You may feel sorry for them, but they actually found it hilarious!

Yep.. that's it. forgot it was published. I think this was one of Martinpukes failings. He did not really have the capacity to manipulate in a subtle manner- after a while, all he could do is scream. He replaced "tithing brings wings to life" with "if you do not give me a minimum of fifteen percent, God will not even spit in your direction."