Scout Finch02

I had drifted out of TWI in late 1980, but got involved again in '82 because of a very wonderful Family Corps couple that were sent to the town where I was going to school. (Thank goodness that break from TWI got me to finish college and get another perspective on life.) I had drifted out of TWI because of the Corps I had seen in the state where I was a WOW. They seemed very cold, uncaring, self centered, legalistic, "they that must be served and obeyed". It was the first time I had been around many Corps so I thought if that was the leadership of this ministry, I don't think I want to be involved. Anyway, this Family Corps couple and their daughter came to my town on their interim year to be twig coordinators - or maybe it was branch coordinators that also ran a twig -- can't remember because I didn't care too much about the whole TWI org chart. They were genuine, generous, caring, fun people. I loved being around them. But they had a very hard year. In my opinion it was because of the constant criticism from the Corps leadership of the state. It's not that they told me about it, it was one of those things you could sense in the change in them after leadership visited. It seemed like the state leadership and others were trying to remake this wonderful couple into the cold, uncaring, legalistic WC types that seemed to prevail elsewhere. This couple never went back in residence. Probably a good thing. But it was also hard on their marriage. They later divorced.

Congratulations!!! How exciting!!!! I second what Watered Garden said: Spoil the little guy. Isn't that in the grandparents handbook somewhere?

So sorry it didn't work out for you...

Just what I was thinking, Belle...Dating Vicariously... I haven't dated in this century, so would also like to hear how it goes. WE, maybe you could be our dating mentor

Wasn't the 13th Corps much smaller in number than the 12th and 14th because of the superstition around the number 13? Maybe I am imagining that, but it seems like the 12th and 14th numbered in the 300s, but the 13th was much smaller. Also, wasn't the 13th in res when the horrible LEAD accident happened? It seems like there were other major events that happened around the time of the 13th Corps.

...awaiting the profound..... but no pressure....

I was long gone from TWI when I got divorced. I do think my involvement in TWI was a factor in marrying the wrong person, though. I graduated from the Corps and was single and it seemed like some people went into panic mode over it. I was fine being single, but other people seemed very concerned about getting me married off. I kept finding myself in contrived situations where some single guy would show up for equally contrived reasons... very awkward. I think I finally succumbed to the idea that I needed to get married on their timetable and married the next guy that showed an interest based on the theory that any two believers can make a marriage work that kept showing up in teachings at twigs or tapes, etc I suspect my ex was gay and that wasn't a major factor in the divorce. The deal breaker for me was his meanness and unhappiness that probably stemmed from him trying to be someone he wasn't...and the job losses and periods of unemployment that resulted from that... Ending the marriage was the best thing for both of us and I hope that someday he finds peace about who he is. I have no bitterness towards him and would let him stay at my house if he ever had reason to come to my city. The sad thing is, he married another woman within a few months of our divorce. I have nothing but compassion for her.

I am a fan of CWs idea of letting the dog name himself. I have done that with several dogs over the years. My dogs have always come from shelters or rescues and they often came with names. I changed their names to the name that came to mind when I would hold them and look into their eyes or watch them the first few minutes they were exploring their new and safe home. I have heard a couple people naming their dog "Jake" after a country song that had the lyrics "feed Jake". Don't know the song. Anyone else old enough to remember the TV show Gentle Ben? Maybe Ben is a good name for the dog. I have always heard that short names are better for dogs - no more than a syllable or two.

Thanks Washington and Wacky for the books you recommended. I got "Finding Your Own North Star" and have read the first 100 pages. Great book!!!!! It's going to take a few attempts at the exercises and I probably will have to read it a couple of times. Also found other titles by Martha Beck that I need to read. I have the other book "Necessary Losses" ordered and will start that next. This phase of my life is officially on its way to becoming an adventure. Thank you for your help.

Just got back from the hospital and visiting my dad. He is doing better, but still very ill. Thanks, pond, for the parent's perspective. I don't have kids, so it's good to hear that from someone who has that life experience.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.... everyone.

Holy Crap!!!!!!!!! I never heard of this before. Was this sort of thing wide spread?

Ditto on what many others have said - actions, honesty, etc are far more important than words used. Sometimes a well placed cuss word is a very effective way to make a point.

Too funny, Cool.... Just the laugh I needed. Yes, I am a she. You probably couldn't tell because I just got my hair cut a couple of days ago and it is very short. I was joking with my hairdresser that some people would think I was a man. I guess I wasn't too far off... tee hee...

Why is it that the biggest transition times in life have to be so clouded by hormonal changes? Adolescence is filled with hormones to torture one into adulthood and then mid-life and menopause have to gang up at the same time. My brain feels half baked from hot flashes sometimes and maybe that's good so I don't ponder things too deeply... I don't know... I'll be emailing you Wacko, thanks for the offer. One of the things that is probably way too superstitious and is messing with me in ways I don't like is the following: I went to Chicago for a planned work trip. I was supposed to be there 4 days. The second day I was there, my mom died. Here it is six months later, my dad was doing just fine two weeks ago, I scheduled a work trip to Chicago to finish the work I had started there six months which I had to interrupt when Mom died. This weekend I find out my dad is very sick and headed for a major hospital in a city 4 hours from where he lives because he is fragile and critical and old. I am supposed to get on a plane to Chicago a week from tomorrow and it scares the crap out of me. I know that is irrational, illogical, and probably stupid, but that's just what's going on today. ...And having hot flashes in 90 degree weather sucks even when the air conditioning is on. I know there is no point in crying about things, but I feel like crying and do so everytime I come back and check greasespot. OK. I think I've vented enough to get through the next half hour...Thanks everyone...

I knew I could count on you guys.... Lots of good advice and its just good to hear that I am not alone on this. I think I expect more out of the second half of life. I am with several of you in that I will make the effort to make it more fun -see places, do stuff. Just got to find people to do that with or get comfortable doing it alone. I'll just take it as it comes. Thanks for the feedback.

I am within a few months of my 50th bday and have had many major changes in my life in the past few years. The second half of my life does not look anything like the first half nor does it look like I thought it would. This is not necessarily good or bad, it just is and I feel like I am still trying it on, getting used to it, accepting it, figuring out how to "wear it"... I am not sure. The Divorced thread got me to thinking about this.... I didn't see myself single at this age, but I am. Didn't see myself childless at this age, but I am. Didn't see myself without a mother at this age, but I am. Didn't see myself facing the loss of my father at this age, within a few months of losing mom, but he is facing yet another major health crisis that doesn't seem hopeful. I feel like I should pray and ask for prayer, but am not sure what to pray for. More agony for him? Didn't see myself questioning whether I want to stay in the career I am in at this age, but I am. Is making enough money to live comfortably an adequate reason to go to the same job each day? I think I am looking for "road maps" for the second half of my life. During the first half, they seemed to be there - get an education, career, marriage, house, kids, join a cult - oops, not that one. What turns and stops do you take on the second half of life? I have spent time considering things I need to do different, roses I need to stop and smell or mountains I should consider climbing, vistas I need to take in... It is a bit scary. The slogan "Just Do It" applies, and I will, but I find that coming back to the Greasespot well of wisdom always gives me an emotional shot that I need to be able to see things more clearly, simply, or whatever is needed. I find my reason for coming back to this well is beyond the common Way experience that ended for me almost two decades ago, but for the collection of brave souls that took a risk for something they thought was good and lived to tell about it. Any thoughts?

Began fading away in 87, totally gone 88.

Well.... as long as there are no nametags, I guess I am in.

To those of you who have gotten remarried or are willing to look again... What gives you the courage, interest, or whatever to even try again? I am happy being single most of the time, but there are still times where I would rather have someone besides friends and family to share my life with.

Divorced for six years after 13 years of marriage. Are we going to start a club or something?

Glad I can laugh about the absurdity of my years on staff now... I was often confronted about not performing my tasks with enough reverence. I refused to believe that cleaning a toilet or making coffee was about anything more than cleaning a toilet or making coffee. Being on staff in the mid 80s was the bright light I needed to have shone upon the workings of TWI to make it clear that these people were control freaks whose only interest was in seeing who and how much they could exploit and humiliate.

I am really feeling old....I'd settle for someone that bathes regularly and doesn't speak with a mouth full of food.

So I am wondering what was the saying on your shirt....not that that has anything to do with the situation, I just have to wonder if the guy was able to read. Did the guy actually read the words on your shirt or did he just acknowledge that there were letters assembled on your shirt? Being a very curious person, I always seem to ask questions about behaviors or comments. I would wonder if the guy could read or if he understood what the words on the shirt meant. Maybe you could have helped him sound out the words or direct him to the location of the dictionaries in the store so he could look up the meaning of the words. Or maybe you could have asked him if he'd wait right there so you could introduce him to your husband who could instruct him on how to properly treat women who shop at Walmart. The guy's objective seemed to be that he was trying to embarass or humiliate you. You had nothing to be be emabarrassed or humiliated about. He was the one that should be embarrassed or humiliated by his actions. My curiousity would be what makes him so miserable and feeling so inadequate that he would verbally assault a woman and her child in a public place.

Thank you. dmiller. That appears to be the website. Thank you, George, for your input. I am taking the prescribed meds, will keep my July rheumatologist appt and will get my bloodwork done faithfully. I will also continue seeing my chiropractor once a month and try some of the therapies suggested here. I have seen great results from medical treatments via my dad, but have also heard of good results from other sources as well and don't want to close the door on those possibilities. The interest in alternative therapies, for me, is not a residual "Waybrain" attitude, but stems from a woman I worked with several years ago. She had a PhD in biochemistry, was from a highly educated family and had RA. I doubt she had even heard of TWI. She was unhappy with the treatment and results she got from the medical establishment and developed her own diet and lifestyle program. I saw her go from walking with a cane and usually in pain to being able to run and move freely without pain. I don't know that I will get the same results as her, but I am willing to try diet changes, fasting, different types of exercise. They are good health practices anyway. Once again, thank you for your input and adding balance to the discussion.