Shellon

Amen and valuable info I'm finally (!) getting in my brain is that anyone who has wronged me can say anything they want, even a heart felt apology and yet what they DO with it is the most important part to me.

Between them and their God, It's not my business; He'll deal w/ them, of that I am sure.

Not to mention if I stay angry with someone they likely could care less and certainly they're not going to waste a bunch of their time wishing they'd done something different or said they were sorry to Shellon North, who obviously is not important to them or they'd have called me, written me, located me and done the work necessary to remedy things broken between us.

Men and/or Women of God. Hmmm, yup, they're supposed to be held to some different standard, their butts against some different flame, I guess. Why, 'cuz they took some vow of leadership or promised some other man or woman they'd teach the Bible right? pffffffffffttttt

I do not care.

God is God is God and we're no better or worse than someone with a title or certificate or vow and any of us owe another repentance or apology or actions; waiting for it with some anger and pain is only going to bring anger and pain.

Acceptance is a painful pill to swallow and if I wander around with that pill stuck in my throat or inability to swallow that sucker, I'm going to miss time with my grand baby or my kids being piXXed off or resentful or stand there tapping my foot waiting; even while I know it's not coming to me.

Drives me nuts! But it's my choice. I have to accept that I'm not going to get an apology from nearly everyone. Whether it's from their pride and fear or something else as simple as they really don't understand they "owe" me one.

No one owes me jack and if I insist they do, I'm gonna be waiting a very long time, if only cuz I insist they pay me. Was it Grandma who said if we knew how little others really think about us...........

Yeah, TWI leaders consider me (and probably you) no more than the neighbor who offended me for some reason. Not worth my time and tears. God takes care of things and if I can muster enough patience to let HIm do His thing, I'll be ok.

Something else valuable I finally understand is allowing others to mess with me, whether they put it there or not. I want an apology from someone, I want to discuss something and it's obviously not forthcoming, no matter that I ever KNOW they know it. I step away and get myself out of that persons place in my life. I don't have to see them continue to hurt and be ignorant and continue to default on my heart or the hearts of others.

I'm only responsible for me, period. Stress dents the immune system, Blood pressure regulation is a valuable thing and my time is important to me.

TWI, family, friends, co workers, kids, neighbors.......anyone who isn't going to contact me and made amends or discuss things, this is America and I'm not wasting my time on 'em.

I have a requirement to please God.

Lessons in Living:

Matthew 5:24

Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

Matthew 5:44-45

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Luke 23:34

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Whether anyone here forgives anyone else for anything is up to them, the words of Jesus speak for themselves. I believe that forgiveness, including our ourselves and others is the foundation of following The Way of Jesus Christ. Difficult? Yes. Needed? Yes.

Apologies? Stick 'em where the sun don't shine, I want none. You can grovel before God Almighty if that be the desire, not me.

In the end we all stand to get what's coming to us, in this life and the next. If we don't we can be thankful that we're spared the worst of what life can offer. If we receive it we join the ranks of the millions for whom life itself is a burden with no relief until it's over.

If we can offer the smallest of grace to others it bodes well for us, that we may receive at the least that and if more? God be praised.

To forgive may indeed be divine - in these graceless times it's in short supply so for all those who don't and won't you're right in there in the norm.

Not to worry - I forgive you and if you should stand alone one day with no one to speak for you I will. Dare I ask - do the same for me - that had I known as I am known I would have done better.

Well said, socks ! I figure not forgiving is like me drinking the poison and hoping they die. Whomever "they" are; I guess twi in this case.

God tells me forgive and by dang I'm gonna. Forget, never in a gabazillion years. Allow things to repeat themselves again, ditto.

Edited to add that if another doesn't want to forgive, I'm not concerned about it. I'm only responsible for me and I choose to forgive, get rid of the shi+ and keep moving, even if it's only in circles, so long as whomever offended, hurt, etc., isn't still hanging on.

uhhuh been doing that since.............june 08 I believe. Especially since they sent the wrong records over and said it was hers.

The Von Willebrands Disease blood test they said would take 2-3 days, yeah, I badgered 'em for 2-3 WEEKS and finally got an answer.

Been doing that.

Are these your critters, David?

Thanks for links; alot of good stuff!

We never did identify the particular parasite she had since she'd been through so many invasive procedures and treatments, I let her have the "I'm not saving my poop!". As long as it went away.

We're waiting for someone, anyone to contact us regarding the new Endocrinologist blood work we re-did; hopefully someone actually will contact us.

Excuse me, I mis spoke. The Endo tests didn't come back as nothing wrong, the lab lost them.

So, they assumed it meant nothing was wrong when they didn't hear back from lab.

This is what this f'ing journey has been from the beginning, truly. We went this morning and did new labs; we'll see where they end up or who does what with the blood.

Stunning

Kelly continues to lose weight at an alarming rate.

106 yesterday.

She eats about 7 small meals per day spread out from 7 am til 8 pm and then stops 'cuz later makes her sick.

The parasite may have been it, but it's not the answer to the weight loss, apparently. I am not sure how long we, meaning me, will allow this loss to continue this rapidly.

Endocrinology specialist (cough) test results came back same as all others; nothing wrong with this child.

Didn't the property already sell several years ago?

Bliss is having computer troubles and asked me to post this for her

Indiana campus contents auction this saturday Sept 11, 2010

http://www.auctionzip.com/Listings/930246.html

If someone sends me a note, a carrier pigeon, tosses a brick with a note wrapped around it on my porch, emails me, IM's me or otherwise lets me know, I might could be there too.

It was enjoyable hanging with Box and David some the other night, was that saturday? wow, I'm lost on days. So, I might require a reminder too.

I also miss the old days of chatting often.

oh heck no, you've not overstepped any boundaries; thank you for your kind and encouraging words and for letting me know of your prayers. On the really rough days it's only been the prayers of others that kept us going.

I can only speculate that the clinicians, medical docs, specialists in Cardiac, Neuro, Endocrine, Muscle were only using their clinical lens, which of course isn't Naturapathic, Homeopathic or Holistic in any way, means or manner.

I usually treat us with all that cool stuff but was kinda impotent to do so since one herb to help her might mess up something else and I'd be treating her with my eye closed; very tough for the "come here Kelly I have just the stuff for this" in me since she was born and her sister before her.

I have loved and beieved in Chiropractic care since I began seeing one when I was 9.

Again, thank you

I'm sorry.......

Will keep you in prayers.

I love that you added that, Belle, and hello to you!

The craziest part of this journey has been the "find out who really sticks around during the rough shi+" for sure.

We're not strangers to that, but some of the ones who bailed during this time, who didn't understand a single mama with no other support tending to her sick kids and not them; that was telling!

Life is a strange twisty hysterical journey isn't it?

I'm so very very proud of my daughters and our little family !

Thanks Roy. On the bad days it's been the prayers of others (you) that has sustained us.

How are you?

To set the scene, my daughter Kelly, 15 now, started having dizzy/black out espisodes in June 08 that subsided and were in fact kept away so long as she managed her hydration well and kept her potassium levels at a good place.

Fast forward to Feb 2010 and while she'd had a few more of the dizzy/dehydrated times, none had been "too bad". Then it stepped up and she was in ER two nights in a row with what we thought were seizures, surely a diabetic issue, something. All tests showed nothing, ever time. I even had them run recretational drug tests on this child since sometimes it looked like she was ODing on something. Thus far this had been a child who hated hated the thought of drugs but I'm a mom, I get it.

Tests

Tests

Tests

Nothing wrong, normal healthy teenage girl. Cardiac specialist, Brain specialist. Tests and more tests. The child gave enough blood and other body fluids to, as she said "fill up another whole kid".

The unofficial diagnosis was Mitocondrial Complex I, a very devastating illness that means in utero, 3 of her DNA formation whatchacallit's had mutated and the prognosis was grim at best; no treatment.

She looked fine, acted fine, felt fine most of the time.

She lost weight at the rate of about 11 lbs a week. Her diet was a very controlled one that she came up with her self of carb/protein. NO sugar, NO fats. So long as she maintained her plan, she was mostly ok. And we waited for the next episode/seizure to happen. Weight falling off of her. Then one afternoon we literally watched bruises form on her arms and legs; very trippy to witness as she just sat there.

More blood tests and a month later result of Von Willebrands Disease, which is a clotting disorder but the good part was that she had the lowest of the 4 levels. If she has surgery or major injury she has to take a clotting med. Manageable and we finally had an answer to something while still not any answers to the other.

In the middle of all of this, when it was at it's worst, her doctor was blowing us off. In the doc switch dance, the old doc sent over someone elses records! This wasn't discovered for about a month when we were sitting in the office of a Nutrionist and something felt off, weird, who were they talking about? When I asked to see the file, there was some other name on it; they'd been treating her according to that person! !

I know, right????

Rewind, start over. This was mostly how life was for a few months, the child wasting away in front of our face, no doctor able to figure it out, no literature in my research, no diagnosis but a very sick young lady.

The next step was a Spinal Tap to see if she had some infection there and a Muscle Biopsy since obviously her muscles were not metabolizing her foods; both of which were going to be more painful than any other. Docs kept coming back to the Mitocondrial Complex I but "just can't decide for sure".

Looked at taking her to Mayo but her insurance wouldn't cover. Snooped around at getting her into Cancer Treatment Center but with no diagnosis, she couldn't be accepted on her insurance. Considered doing some sort of benefit to raise dollars but then what to do with the dollars when no one knows what to do, what's wrong, where to go, etc.

Took her to a Shaman, an Indian Medicine Man, a homeopathic and naturapathic specialist, had some odd treatment where a very colorful character mixed some of her body fluids in a bottle and was said to be able to figure out what was wrong by how it all settled. I was willing to try ANYthing. She was ministered to, she was taken to a psychotherapist, she was given treatments. Some thought she had an eating disorder, others thought some other horrid thing was being done to her and manifesting in severe weight loss, shallow appearance, fatigue and exhaustion. We could not seem to convince the powers that be that she was, in fact, eating quite a healthy diet of her own making to fend off the episodes and if she consumed what they wanted her to, she'd have them.

Back to the speciailists for a repeat of all the tests, hoping, praying someone find something wrong with my baby; I can fight something with a name. Everytime "nothing is wrong with your child, Mrs.North"

This usually straight A student started tanking to D's, her attitude sucked, she was miserable. We had to fight the school board for her to be allowed to carry a glucose monitor so she could know how to adjust her diet according to those numbers. The boards take was "not diabetic, no monitor". So we had to get really creative for her to carry that.

Nothing wrong, no diagnosis, bottom line was "your daughter will die, give her what quality of life you can until that time"

She had loved Chiropractic treament and actually it's usually the first place we go before any other professional. We ran into our Chiropractor at my dad's estate auction and he commented "what the hell is wrong with Kelly?" so we told him our story. He arranged to meet us at his office in 2 hours.

Usual treatment plus he practices Kinesthesiology which I love and espouse to and the second reason we go to him. He determined that she had a parasite!

Whoa! Made so much sense, finally. He put her on 90 day treatment of herbs and weekly treatments with him.

In the middle of this, my oldest daughter, Samantha, had to have an emergency hysterectomy and almost bleed to death during a prior surgical procedure the caused the discovery of the need for the hysterectomy.

Life was crazy!

Kelly started the herbs that afternoon and has now turned the corner, we think. Some weight gain, adding a few of her old fave foods, still refusing to consume sugar, which is fine with me; she's never really liked candy, etc anyway. This all happened in the middle of normal puberty stuff too, so that made it tougher to discern what was her body changing normally and what was something else. The particular parasite is thought to be one from dirt or food; but she would never cooperate with giving a stool sample to determine exactly. This was a little bit funny in our house since every other part of her person had already been so violated in testing, but so long as the improvement is there, I've decided to let her have that one. They also said the parasite might have been dormant in her system a long time or arrived suddenly; she has had a summer job landscaping for three summers; that might be it. One of those "gotta live life" situations where we'll likely never truly know it's origin

Samantha recovered from her surgery and deals with Menopause at 28 years old.

We're ok

:anim-smile:Yes, just because.

And that's really as simple and complex as I can offer it.

I'm here cuz I was born and I choose to stay here for now.

Easy eh?

And you haven't mocked me; I kinda like yer squirrely self

A reason. Isn't that one of those questions that doesn't have a specific answer? We exist cuz a man and woman somewhere put their stuff togther and 9 or so months later.....kaboom! Or something along those lines.

I choose to stay here because I am a mama and there have been many many times that is the ONLY reason I stayed.

Now I've come to understand I'm here for something else and I'm going to find out what that is, but it's in the going.

I don't want to count how many words that is, Ham.

Yup, I agree. Those outside are of a lower class and standing and not deserving of the same full sharing and disclosure as all their brilliance and information and consideration and care, clearly not worth of truth.

I'm a huge wisher that everyone would tell the truth and I accept that it just 'aint gonna be and it still hacks me off that it was such a slap in the face that a "church" would have such low, if any, respect for God's people as to go all over the spectrum of sugar coating to downright making the shi+ up to then making the one lied to feel they did something wrong.

More than a few time I thought I was losing something in my head when they insisted they'd not said something (lie) and I'd surely misunderstood (insult lie) then puke some new lie on top of all that. Took me 16 years to realize that.

Well, more than that but that's another hot dog.

Midnight, I wandered into chat before I turned into a punkin and soul searcher and sushi were making cricket sounds.

Maybe another time

Maybe try to talk Shellon into coming if I can get in touch with her. Anyone interested?

I have a date, but will peek in when I get home and see if anyone is hanging on late. What a great idea; oh the old days are missed! !

I'm sorry for this loss, Frank.

We have a cat named Dog and I swore I was not gonna love the pitiful three legged thing.

Wrong! I get it, they become part of the family and it's painful, our prayers are with your family.

Shellon and Kelly

Glad you got information ~! Prayers continue

I just spoke with Joe's wife and the operation went well. He is in recovery now and I will be going up to see him later today.

Keeping Joe and your family in thoughts and prayers.

The Kinesthesiology route is very very interesting for finding dietary triggers/allergies.

Kelly's spent 2 hours with him and came up with four food items to avoid and since she has been, the changes, while still not answering the bigger problem, have been significant.

I was skeptical, but after seeing the results, I believe it now.