Shellon

Mike, I've loved hearing about your kids all these years and getting to follow your relationship with them through the ____ and the ___ and even some more of the ____

Good kids, them

Only an hour on the beach, bummer, but so amazing to reconnect w/ your girl; that's the valuable thing.

Keep in touch, I've got some ideas that probably belong on that other thread, but my brain is busy so just wanna mention here that we gotta do some business again soon.

Prayers continue !

Some people are just sick. But there is also no such thing as an anonymous e-mail if you want to track it. There are headers and tracers for every step an e-mail takes on the iternet. I don't know all of the steps needed to find the information, it can be done. Even if they are using an account with a fake name on the account there is information attched that can track the e-mail back to the ip address of the computer used to send it.

Yes and I am mostly aware of who it came from. Reality is it could have been any TWI faithful and we're not unfamiliar to this stuff.

I've got the IP address, etc. and will deal with them. I just wanted us to look at that brutality that still exists and for me, at least, it's a great reminder that I'm outa there, my daughters are safe and we are well.

Yeah, mstar when I used the word "charm" it by no means charming. I'm used to this kind of shi+ and I will deal with it. And nothing about that will be in any way polite or quiet.

My point in sharing it was to point out, again, their guile and abusive guilt puked on anyone not bowing to their crap anymore.

This isn't the first such letter, to me or others and it'll be dealt with, oh hell yes indeed.

It really doesn't make me as mad today as much as I find it just so silly, really.

TWI or anyone can not budge me from my care of my child, now or ever, period. Not their guilt trips, condemnation, nothing they can do/say/think/offer/accuse.

Bucha meanies trying to scare a mama, the end. Doesn't work. As I said, I expected some of their nonsense and gave it great time and thought first.

Silly is what they are. I no more consider for a second my child possessed or me or her sister or possession causing their fathers death. She's sick with an illness, her sister was a rotten teenager and their dad died of heart disease, the end.

No

And Katie... excellent response ! My girls and I giggle often, shake our heads frequently and sigh sometimes at the stupid stuff people say during times of crisis or loss like that and remember our responses or what we wish we'd said.

Thanks DogLover, I've read that book and as many other of it's type of help I could find and yes they are very ! helpful in understanding this kind of crap.

I understood when I left that this would be their threats to me and they did not disappoint; from the moment I told them until now and I'm sure it'll continue as long as they are allowed to do so.

I get it and as I said, it isn't going to deter me or stop me or harm my spirit or change my mind one iota as to my decisions then or now regarding my children.

Or any other things. It's just their own foolishness and mean hearted bully shi+; I have always expected it, known it and accepted it's what they do. It sure doesn't sneak into my vision as often as it used to though, thankfully.

Some of you are aware that my Kelly has been ill. Until a Lab Report Mistake (read phhuckup by former doctor) happened yesterday it was supposed that she might well be ill with a disease that has a high mortality rate and if that were to be the ending diagnosis, I shouild expect to bury my child in 9-14 years.

Right now it's not known, still, but I have located her correct lab reports and her new doctor will really be able to diagnose her.

That is to only serve as an introduction to this thread that will serve as a trigger for some, a giggle for others and a WTF for others; it's your call.

I got an email from a real prize individual who chose to offer me some advise. In their cowardly manner, the didn't have the sack to identify themselves. The body of the email reads as follows:

Shell, we told you that once you left the household, you would then be out from under the protection of God and you should expect the negative consequences. You are now reaping what you have sown and your daughter is possessed by the adversary, you are accountable.

As soon as you made that dreadful choice, your brother died, did he not? As soon as you made that dreadful choice, your older daughter went wild, left the obediance of you, the parent, and it's our understanding that you did finally have to put her outside the gates of your home.

There is still forgiveness for you that will then give you the benefit of healing for your daughter. I regret that I can not reveal myself to you but can only speak for the one truth and trust you will remember what you were taught in Dr. Wierwille's PFAL Class and beyond and come to your senses. Don't you think you have to in order that your child lives? Remember your husband..........

God Bless you abundantly in Jesus Christ's most powerful name

In love

I have read this about a dozen times now and pondered it's content from several different angles; none of which amuse me! However, I choose not to be pi$sed either, while I considered it as a choice in the sheer silliness of the note to me.

Remembering those days of guilt and condemnation. Remembering those days of power trips and prayerful consideration of "truths" exactly like what this particular fool suggested to me. Remembering, again, that to some I'll always be held accountable to God for the death of my husband, the poor choices my oldest daughter made and whatever other nastiness is chosen by other to lay at my feet rather than letting people own their own.

Now, I have blabbed my life out here for years; more so recently and it's a public forum. I considered the possibilities carefully, for years actually. I believed at the time that I had the love and support on a very personal level to tell my story of being in TWI and our escape. While that may no longer be exact truth, I still believe that I made the choice of my own free will and I accept reality that some azzholes might do less than kind things with whatever information I give. I knew I was "exposing" my children and our private lives.

I also freely solicited prayer for my Kelly here because I needed the support and prayers desperately; we still do! I don't regret that either. There are many things going on in my life that need God's grace and mercy and healing that I'll never mention and I also understand that God knows exactly what Kelly needs too, whether I puke it out on a forum or not. This one was so much more personal, so I put it here and I shall continue to update those that do pray with us.

Sometimes when I read what the butt said I want to ask Pawtucket to get rid of any threads that are of a personal nature and then I remember a couple of things that are bigger than some jerk(s) wanting to stomp on my strength and replace it with that which can lay me out faster than anything; messing with my kids.

Eventually I'll be able to completely see the silliness in the note and it will be a distant memory of someone opening their fool mouth and spewing their snotwad all over me.

Perhaps, like me, you have things that scream into your lives when you least expect them and slap you in the heart that you thought might be in that past.

I'm not going to waste valuable time better spent caring for my child on figuring out who sent it, while I do believe I know. I've only shared the most intimate of details of the doctors suspicions with very very few, so it's not tough to come up with who/what/where and even why, although it might appear obvious at the reading. They aren't worth that precious attention that is better served making sure she's getting the care she needs. When this journey is in the past in my family, I might address them with my usual charm, but until then we have today and I have no doubt whatsoever of God's love for me and my daughter, nor do I doubt God's ability to heal her or direct me and her doctors as to what we need to do next.

If they could actually read and fire two cells together in their brain, it might be possible for them to understand my truths as I've written them in my story here as well as prayer thread for my daughter(s). Again, not my problem or concern and my stand has always been that when we put head to pillow at the end of our day, we face only ourselves. They will have to deal with whatever sputum lands on their own shoes.

Mean people suck and azsholes are full of shi+.

We got the long fought for permission for her to carry a Blood Glucose Monitor in her bag in the school buildings. Two months isn't that long I suppose but fighting a School Board to let her, knowing that the monitor gives her, me and her docs so much information, it seemed like two years !

For those of you who understand the School's silliness in their thinking, the little teensy needles that go into the monitor to prick the finger for the blood are about 1/8 inch long; they didn't want her to have that "weapon".

Ok, yeah, I laughed at the first Board Meeting when they said that.

And today starts her very meticulous food monitoring on paper. She's to write down ounces of water, measurements of any and all food for 4 days and how each makes her feel and docs think that might tell them something.

She had some Soy Milk over the weekend and all was well; this is victory.

She took a bite of a piece of cake over the weekend and all was well, albeit with some peanut butter to counter. This is a massive victory.

Still no answers, but doc's who are trying is such a great step in the right direction for us. Her Pediatician called me late last night to see how the weekend went. I just can't thank God enough for this doctor.

At dietician friday I noticed she was reading from some labs that looked and sounded weird to me and come to find out her prior Pediatrician office had sent the WRONG labs. So, this is what her current doctor has been going on.

Mad, you ask? Oh that doesn't begin to cover it. But that was the kind of medical treatment she had been getting when this all started and the "feel" of the place that caused me to switch doctors.

Wrong labs...........wow. I'm stunned, while not terribly shocked and expect we'll begin, now, to get sme answers that make some sense. Not to mention I'm fixin to raise a helluva fuss.

Those correct lab results hold a CAT scan, a PET scan, an MRI, every blood test possible; all done in the last 2 months.

EXTREMELY valuable information !

A quote sent me by a really cool teenaged friend of my youngest daughter:

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Amen Hopey

I'm curious about EVERYthing, those that honestly know me get that and humor me. But I don't get alot of things too, which only adds to my curious side.

But anger is my current soapbox or curious maker or something. However, I don't mean beat the snot out of your neighbor anger, I mean anger that is ok, justified, needful, deserved, righteous.

There are at least two different forms of anger. The normal stuff and the emotional stuff that we know as rage. Two very different animals and personally, I'm past sick and tired of not being given the affordability to be righteously angry.

When I first understood someone say Jesus Christ got angry, I thought 'whew!' ok, there was an honest dude here once upon a time and look what he obviously got done'. Until I then understood that he was used as the exception not the example and adding to that, he had a penis so he was better allowed righteous anger. Women are supposed to keep silent in the church, blah puke so on and so spewingforth.

But I took it and I kept my mouth shut and stuffed any anger I had and it almost killed me three times.

We're supposed to tell truths, yes? Sometimes that is going to include being angry and we'll perhaps even make other people angry in the process; it's going to happen!

We're supposed to take care of those we love, which in my house means being as honest as one can possibly muster and then some if they wanna stay in my house. Again, that kind of honesty is going to ruffle some assfeathers and that's not a bad thing.

Do I kick people outa my house or not invite them in the first place who make a choice to not be honest on a consistent basis? Call my first born, she'll fill ya in, she's not lived here in a LONG time.

Understandably there is the kind of rage some of us are familiar with that Martindale spewed on our faces (literally for some) and that's not acceptable, of course. That's the kind of anger that kills spirit. I didn't want to even include his name here but given the platform, it communicates, I suppose.

I used to say "tell me the truth, really, seriously, honestly, I can take it, I promise" and then wait and watch in shock when the listener didn't deliver. Now I'm understanding that the reason they don't deliver is 'cuz they lack the first component of honesty; respect for me.

Angry with me? Sheeeeit, have the stones to find me and tell me ! I love that. Lets have an arguement, lets deal, lets gut it out, I'll still be there on the other end 'cuz that person had courage and fortitude and strength of character and respect for me to believe me, to understand who I am and love enough for me to take the precious time (and it is precious) to spend on the problem that needed the attention.

Again, I'm not talking about screaming, raging, throwing grandma's china. I'm talking about "I'm angry and I deserve it and so do you and lets deal, together". How amazing that is, how freeing, how cleansing, how much closer two people become when it's taken care of. I'm the minority on this and I accept that.

Does that exist in this life anymore? Ham, start a poll, I'll vote NO! quicker than feces through a goose.

Thank you act2 and Ron. Her new Doc called her "fascinating" and now today she was described as "a mystery".

Yes to both in this journey.

Just home from Dietician and while she had no answers, of course, she did offer my Kelly some "things to try please" like adding a few more things which

1. she needs since her simple self proclaimed protein/carb diet is working to keep the episodes at bay, she's not getting the nutrition she needs, which is why I took her today.

2. Adding these foods could throw her into one of the episodes, so we'll know more from that, if it happens.

She came home armed with a TON of great info about her body and it's nutritional needs, a new glucose monitor, measuring cups (all my own mom, leave them alone) to keep track of EXACTLY what she's putting in and how they effect her.

9 more lbs lost in 2 weeks, so it's hoped we can reverse that a little too, or at least stop it.

EEG on tuesday, still waiting on Insurance to ok the other needs.

Grandbaby/Niece 5th birthday party this weekend, but we've opted to lay low and so we'll try this stuff instead and just keep on keepin' on.

Thanks for checking w/ your doctor, Ron. I've talked to a total of 34 docs of varying degrees of specialty, holistic professionals, naturapath folks, even a medicine man. One of them will hit on it and it could be your friend. I'm not turning down any suggestions or ideas. Not to say I'll do what they say, but I'm willing to hear anything/anyone that has the courage to take a little time for my girl.

I can't give them celebrity status, no.

I cleaned up after some of them and they peed on the seat, left the cereal bowl to get nasty in the sink and left pubes in the shower just like anyone.

They walked with one foot in front of them, mostly, like you or me and they said stupid stuff like all humans and they were just as normal.

They were as arrogant and abusive and silly as some of what we consider "celebrity" so I will give 'em that much.

Really wonderful to talk to you this morning! Didn't know I missed our chats as much until we got to catch up. Hopefully we won't let so much time go between them again.

Thanks for info to move forward on my own non profit journey; I get a little more and more each time you explain it. Will be digging further and will have even more questions next time.

Your unconditional support to me and my girls is always so very appreciated and valued even more 'cuz you've been there and have an ugly tshirt or four to show for the pain, understanding, learning and 'oh shi+'s' that have brought you to today.

And tomorrow.

Be well, my wonderful friend.

Hit a thrift store for a coffee pot while you're down there! Some things are just more important than others. Enjoy the pool time and return relaxed and refreshed. It won't be long and I will be hollaring for more push, more information, more support, more kleenex.

Oh yeah and continue to keep me in mind when CNN shows up, I'm almost ready.

Leave a light on, I'm close to a couple of edges.

Doc has reviewed her records from 1996 and feels sure that while it was obviouse then that she was poisoned by a faulty furnace it's interesting to note that none of the rest of us were, including another infant who had been staying in our home at the same time.

If Kelly's metobalism is weak and was, in fact, weak then too, she would surely be hit harder with her body also trying to assimilate a poison gas as well.

Now, that's nothing definitive as to today's questions but it is helpful in as far as her history of how her body has operated and where it's not.

EEG next tuesday at the hospital and hopeful to get Insurance ok to have her admitted day/night before to do the controlled environment test of pushing her into an episode to do blood work during that.

So, still no for certain answer, but continuing.

I know more about our DNA and metabolism than I ever ~! dreamed I might. Kinda fascinating, just scarey in this context.

My dad's other leg procedure done today and went very well.

I'm glad the song served its purpose.

Indeed it sure did! It started an entire chain of events ! !

Music does stuff

lol waysider, yeah me too. I hate hate hate laundry and do not seperate or concern myself over any of that stuff unless it's a fave silk jacket and I've given my toddler grand daughter a shirt that was purchased for her teenage aunt a time or three cuz of the hot/cold thing.

Chas, I can imagine! I miss Bob but sure don't miss the nasty construction laundry or the memories of him working somewhere around poison ivy and washing his stuff and getting the horror my own self.

A few times he skipped work cuz he was the boss and could and went caving in Missouri scarey should never be in them caves and came home with nasty stuff like bat shi+ all over him. Was often a choice as to pitch the stuff or try to get it clean.

shiver, still.

Hi, thanks for links and prayers; it's always nice to see you around here! How are you and yours doing?

I've been studying this stuff for the last two days to prepare my brain for the answers they give me. And she's on a lot of prayer lists and I know God is bigger than anything, even something wrong wth her DNA.

I have no doubt about that. So, we keep on keepin' on and we remember to stay our focus on what we can do and since neither she nor I are patient, we do our best with that too.

It took 11 years to conceive this kid, so I'm hard pressed to allow my brain to go to the really scarey stuff...........

This new doctor is a gem and my anger at the former one who just dismissed us remains, but doc's like her are too common, so again we do what we can with what we've got and believe in a God that loves her, brought her to us to take care of when we had given up on her ever showing up and remember those most basic of realities.

Other things have come to my memory in all of this. When she was 8 months old, she became very very ill and again doc's said "just hold her, it's all you can do" and with stubborn determination and prayers and her daddy who listened to God and acted on some really weird ideas, she was fine.

The point of bringing that up is that her new doc wonders if that might have also been related to this and has ordered the records, etc. from that time. As well, she's had alot of smaller weird times of being sick that made no sense at the time, more doc's said "ummm.... I have no idea", she recovered and neither she nor I ever gave those times another thought; until now that they make a little bit of sense.

The video here is inconsequential (unless you want to read the lyrics).

This song requires that you either be driving on an open highway, or sitting back with your eyes closed.

Thank you ! ! This one gets me in a place deeper than any I've listened to in........months.

Yup, eyes closed, memories flooding. Wow.........

Very profound.

I had never thought of it quite that way before.

Being strong, in The Way, was seen as a weakness.

So very true. As a woman who made more than a few attempts to buck against their system of who a good little wife should be, my strengths rubbed them the wrong way, no doubt 1000%.

Caused my husband no end of grief too.

I was one of those wives who kept "going out from under the umbrella of protection" that was my husband, my head, the family. I had a voice, I had a funtioning brain, ideas, I was educated, I was skilled.

Problem!

That was used when he died too; had I been better this or that or 197 other things, he'd still be alive.

Very deliberate infliction of emotional distress that continues even to this day in every aspect of what is called life as I look at our children, as I won't stop being a strong woman, as I still buck against the caste system I keep hearing so much about. Some of us aren't meant to march a specific way.

Reality bites

Thanks Box ! Yeah, I hadn't either, at least not in this context; it's rare if that's what we end up with from this. Gathering genetic information all night, studying this stuff, working it out in my head as to decisions, where to relax, where to fight harder, what to ask, etc.

As her mama I try to not .......go there. But, lets face it, it's very ! ! difficult.

God is bigger than some silly illness is what another friend just told me. I'm gonna go with that !

Amen

Roy, I so much enjoyed that, thank you

Life has been.......stressful of late and you so often offer me a chuckle or four; I appreciate you

Update not great, prayers still invited and needed.

I think I mentioned that we switched doctors and it's a damn good thing we did; aside from the fact that the last one didn't seem to see us.

It's suspected that Kelly has Mitochondrial Disease. Mitochondria are intracellular organelles that play a critical role in cellular metabolism and hers don't seem to be funtioning properly.

Now.......what to DO about it is the issue.

We need to get her into one of her "episodes" and test her blood at the time of the episode. In order to do that, it's very risky, since any one of them can get worse than the last one, or stay the same as they've been and only be very very bad.

I need to allow her to eat the foods that throw her into one and then get her to ER or the doc's office asap for the blood test.

Admit her and do it under controlled environment, you say? Yeah, I did too and the answer was that her insurance won't pay for that as an "experimental" hospital stay without first a diagnosis and we can't get the diagnosis without forcing her into the thing and crossing our fingers that 1) she doesn't have the mother of episodes 2) I can get her to the ER or clinic while it's still going on, which has never happened or 3) have one actually happen during another test at the clinic or hospital and hope someone sees it that can do something about it.

So.......we're going to do another EEG and see if her brain waves will tell us something they didn't before or show us something that has always been there and the doc before missed it since she was already in the "duh, I don't know what to do" mode.

There is also an OTC vitamin supplement called CoEnzyme Q10 that Kelly did some research on and she's going to start that tomorrow. It helps manage the energy her muscles need and use to metabolize her food and it's an antioxydent. (that word looks weird, but you get it)

She has been seeing a behavioral therapist; twice now, and that's helped her in that the therapist has given her some tools to use when she feels one of these things coming on, stress busters and they seem to help, combined with eating only proteins and carbs, only water, nothing ! else.

Stress can bring this stuff on if she's not eating only that way and once it starts, it's stressful. sigh

Now, if the CoEnzyme Q10 works and I can talk, bribe, pay her to add other foods and nothing happens, she may be able to function normally with just that additive and nothing else will need to be done. Last night after supper I talked her into a spoonful of vanilla ice cream and that went ok, so she was kinda pleased, of course, but wouldn't do a second bite.

So, it's decisions and watching and waiting some more. She's lost nearly 50 lbs which for a 5'1" girl of 14 is not good even if her boxy frame could have afforded a little loss. I don't want her to keep losing since she is just 14 and in puberty, etc and so on. So...........gotta figure this out. She also is seeing a nutritionist at this new clinic to get instructions in this carb/protein thing and hopefully some encouragement as to adding different things as well as me getting information.

The good part is that she's still the usual funny, sweet Kelly she's always been with a spillage of teenage girl tossed all over the place as expected. Sometimes it's a huge dump of surly teenager but I expect that too !

I'm not exactly sure what the prayer is, but I figure God knows.

We've got to not rule out the Mitochondrial thing as it may hold the answers to the whole package, I'm just not very (at all!) interested in forcing her into one of these episodes to find out unless the conditions are very controlled. Doc will talk to Insurance about that and see. Thanks from a worried mama.........

thanks Shellon

but what if your boyfriend is happy to see and your dog is mad at you as if you have his bone

ROFL

O M G

Hysterical............

Roy, bless your soul, that's funny shi+~!

I would have much preferred Kelly's teacher use another example, but the point was that SHE got it, doesn't matter if I liked his example or not.

But yours is.................oh hell crack me up Thank you, I very very much needed that kind of laugh this day

There are several versions of what a troll is, Roy. I don't know, save for someone who comes onto a site like this with the sole motive to cause strife and trouble and pain; we've had a variety of same over the years around here.

Animal love vs person love...........My daughters Sex Ed. teacher defined the difference like this:

Put your boyfriend and your dog in the trunk of the car for 20 minutes

Open it up and let them out

Which one will be thrilled to see you and which one will pack his crap and change his address?

Yeah, that.

Now, I'm not crazy about his example, but it communicated, if poorly. My daughter announced the our particular truck has an emergency release latch, so I am not sure what she was communicating with Mr Teaches Weird Shi+ but it certainly confused the matter.

Probably for you too, huh?

It's what I do, you're welcome.

Thanks Mike, will this be offered online too, do you know? I understand that the practical application can't be done as such, but remind me when we talk to pick your brain.

My love to C and his family !

Shellon,

Wow!!! I think you have found the end of a chapter here!! As we both realize, 'The End' is far off; at least, we hope it is!! (Unless you are talking about a certain book.)

Your grandfather was indeed a wise man. I don't remember having conversations like that with my granddads, only with my paternal grandmother.

Good luck with your classes. I've got about 5 weeks then I will have a short break before summer session.

Becky

Yeah, another book definately, maybe more than that; we'll see if they sell or not. Might just be the longest therapy I've ever done and nothing more. I meant for this story (and the book) to be only about TWI but as you know from writing, things sort of..........grow. :-)

Just when I think I've come full circle on something, there seems to be another beginning and I'm learning to embrace that. Those seasons and stages of ones life are clearer to me now. I'm ready for home, love, together with someone kind of family again, companionship, a hand to hold, grandma/grandpa stage of life. (eeeekk)

A year ago I would have never ! said I was ready for those things, no way, ever.

Kelly is only in my house another 3 years as far as high school, Samantha is grown up and doing very well, I am essentially alone in my plans and it's weird and I get it. So, there are some endings, some beginnings, some middle stuff that just won't go away no matter what I do and maybe it's supposed to be that way too, huh?

For 28 years I've been a mama with no major health problems for my kids until now. So that's a new and very frightening reality as we journey through that one and I have to stay back a little so that she can learn the skills to cope with her new lifestyle in her own strengths and only my oversight.

My parents have reached that stage of life where their needs from me are changing and it requires a renewed dynamic with my brothers and my step parents.

The college degree that I need the most is within reach and I've shoved it back over and over simply out of not knowing what I want to do with it even if I got it. That one will have (and has been) the most expensive therapy, and almost as lengthy in time as the book(s).

I struggle with finding a voice and puzzle at having to use it so loudly when I do find it. Life is full of respect and lack thereof and I understand that particular circle too.

I seek whatever spiritual needs there are for me and of course deal with the clouds of trust that haven't cleared. I have come to understand in this adventure that if I never find that, I already have everything I need so it's not like it's a thirst for God to fill me with something.

I enjoy that in this life we get to seek, we get to listen, we get to look upon those things and we get to ask. I'm learning that most don't like me asking and therefore finding new ways to decide if I care.

I'm curious about everything and I want to know, but I am finding that those that say they love that, don't. Those that offer to encourage that, won't. Those that push me in the ways they think I should go really didn't listen to the directions I gave or give me the value of the plan being mine.

It's good and it's ok. I'm rich with a couple of really great and honest friends, I'm blessed with amazing daughters, I'm not shutting my eyes to better, I'm not closing off the door to understanding.

As the 13th anniversary of Bob's death approaches, this is the first year it's been so painful while at the same time Samantha is doing mostly ok with all that now and Kelly is just beginning her grief; so again our stages of grief and loss and acceptance are at completely different places. We love each other; it's all we've got.

Life or death is unique and there is no handbook on this stuff, there is no way to know if I'm doing it right until it shows itself and often then it's too late to stop people getting hurt and I pray for what I need for that.

This story has been me telling our private story, our personal good and not so much, me blabbing things and trusting. Not a small deal for me. Some have taken advantage of that but I expected it and the cost to them will be evident. I don't worry too much about that as I come to understand it's not mine.

It's a process and I'm ok with being there.

I understand that this place is not like intense therapy with the desired results of same.

And the term PsychoTherapy makes the beginning dynamic of it sound so distasteful, doesn't it? Hell, I was recently compared to a psycho, so I understand the bristleing at that prefix in that regard.

Doesn't exactly make any of us seek out or desire or want to, much less feel all warm and fuzzy about sharing our lives, does it?

But we here do offer each other a valuable service if we choose and if we choose to accept it. The best part, for me at least, is that it can be given or taken in whatever dosage one chooses for them at any given time.

Not so bad

If I were to call TWI and tell them I want to go back to their fellowships, would anyone here have the stones to try to help me, have the courage to love me, have the strength to tell me the truth?

Uhhuh, see what I mean?