Shellon

Thanking God for his patience with me when my thoughts wander here, there and over there somemore........

http://somewherebetweenhereandhere.blogspot.com/2010/05/im-sorry-i-was-wrong.html

Thank you

I actually appreciate these. Gives me the ability to show my daughter where daddy is buried, sort of, in their Way Woods.

Better than anything she's had up 'til now, at least.

Thanks Shellon,

I have spent the last 50 years studying the various religions (Mainly alleged bible text based ones)

I say ' alleged ' because under examination, what most claim is in the bible text ' isn't how they have presented it as the bases of their beliefs '. In brief, what they claim the story book (bible text) says, doesn't mean what they claim it means and the promises it makes not a single so called christian can legitimately manifest those promises already given and NONE can legitimately claim to be a genuine bible christian.

After 50 years of intense scrutiny, discussion etc because I really wanted to find out IF there was anything legitimate about these alleged ' holy Books) (especially the alleged bible based ones) I can say without doubt or equivocation that the bible text is 100% man made, man conceived and NOT the legitimate words of a God given to men.

Hence my reference to the ' story book ' of man made fantasy, for that is ALL so called Holy Books ' are.

It is great to hear the sincere questions from youngsters who have in the main not yet been corrupted by the various brainwashing methods of those religions or by parents forcing them to follow their beliefs.

I love to challenge ALL religions (I'm a successful religion buster) but unfortunately they invariably hide or run away when faced with the Truths I (and some others bring) and soon ban me from their Forums, so they can only get opinions and present comments that suit them, as they continue to deceive themselves and others that get trapped in their web of deceit and propaganda.

Fortunately however I do get frequent Private emails or PM's where some want to know more of what I have to say, but are afraid of ridicule or banning by others if they try to speak openly.

That way they are better informed and can make their more informed choices having been made ' more aware ' of the failings of their current or alternate ideologies or teachings they may have been considering changing to.

Cheers!

Ok, really, I'm trying to understand here, truly. I'll drop it except to say that I do understand the young people aspect, being a mother and that of a 15 year old who is obviously searching, asking, questioning and yes it is wonderful to see her eyes when she heads for her own decisions. Also the mother of a 28 year old who is making some really bad choices and could use some of some God in my opinion (even if a fable) but who listens to their mama when they're 28?

I guess I'm stuck on the "storybook" part of this thread. So rather than keep badgering you about it, I'll move along and maybe the answer will be in here somewhere; it might already be, but I do better with as little in between stuff as possible. I'm just not clear as to what you consider "storybook" where God's love and the Bible and all that is concerned.

Pretend there is a white flag in this feller's hand I get it, the answer isn't here, no biggie, just my curious nature to want to know.

I've attempted to follow this thread a little bit........

I'm not understanding something, however. The word "storybook".

Are you looking for the perfection stuff, the never make a mistake stuff, the exact never leave room for change or error kind of thing.

If so, I think I might get it a little bit, as I find myself on my face (almost literally) before God in some anger that has me reeling lately and I'm finally coming around to the reality the last few days, I hope. Not to mention that my almost 15 year old daughter has been asking me some really honest and difficult questions about God and people and putting the two together; most of them I can't answer for her and that's prompted me to consider 'what the hell DO I believe/think/want'. For me and me only. You don't know my children, but this one can debate! So, it's been a fantastic time of digging deep and looking long.

I guess what I'm saying, Composer, is I'm not sure I get what your question is; or comment perhaps. I do well with the straight up information, no matter if your information isn't necessarily pretty. Just trying to understand.

I've attempted to follow this thread a little bit........

I'm not understanding something, however. The word "storybook".

Are you looking for the perfection stuff, the never make a mistake stuff, the exact never leave room for change or error kind of thing.

If so, I think I might get it a little bit, as I find myself on my face (almost literally) before God in some anger that has me reeling lately and I'm finally coming around to the reality the last few days, I hope. Not to mention that my almost 15 year old daughter has been asking me some really honest and difficult questions about God and people and putting the two together; most of them I can't answer for her and that's prompted me to consider 'what the hell DO I believe/think/want'. For me and me only. You don't know my children, but this one can debate! So, it's been a fantastic time of digging deep and looking long.

I guess what I'm saying, Composer, is I'm not sure I get what your question is; or comment perhaps. I do well with the straight up information, no matter if your information isn't necessarily pretty. Just trying to understand.

Congratulations !

Thank you dmiller

Today my mom and Kelly get lessons in hooking up all the stuff in the motor home so she can continue to go camping like she and Lloyd have done for years; often taking my Kelly.

They've decided "we can still do it!" so my dad is going to show them all the hoses and plugs and all that stuff and what goes where and they will be ready.

Kelly just doesn't want the 'waste dump' job but she's gotta learn how, nonetheless.

Everyone's prayers and words are very appreciated. Mothers day was a little tough for my mom since it was their tradition to wander to our cabin on that day but it's a first that is done now. Fathers day is always tough for us around here, so we'll try to get creative and make it fun.

Thank you Tommy ! It was a really nice day

thank you, searcher, days and Mike, for your kindness here and thank you to those of you who have called or sent flowers or notes; it's been very appreciated !

Things are good, my mom is doing......hmmm, ok, I guess. Last night was her first night alone and she's got many many firsts ahead of her. Her three sons have been taking care of physical things she's good to move ahead with the large home and yard care and needs and decisions. Her step daughter and I have been helping with the more practical stuff.

30 plus years of life together, whew!

Kelly is ok too, for the most part; she'll miss Grandpa very much but treasured memories are valuable.

The porch light is on however I am worried that the stuff in my fridge will go bad so get yer arse down here before the milk sours;

Good thing I don't like milk eh? I'll hollar when I can take a drive. Thanks!

Death by a million paper cuts, I guess.

yes! perfect

Thanks Bowtwi and thanks Paw for being available at a phone call's notice; you two are true gems.

Our family has suffered a great and mighty loss in the passing of my step dad, Lloyd LaCross. He and my mom have been together for 30 years.

My Kelly and grandpa have been very close since we moved here when she was but 3 years old; great pals, cohorts in fun and jokesters together. My hears aches for her.

Lloyd's daughter is here, my out of state brothers are on their way.

Prayers for our family appreciated.

You shoulda knocked him out.

Yeah, I shoulda but I was quiet then.

The final straw........wow, yeah, that's a fantastic question!

For me it was our Limb Coordinator sliding up next to me and replying "it looks like she's about ready for me?" pointing at my then 16 year old daughter.

I went from shock to rage to shock to wondering if I could have my own coffee pot and all my books in prison to rage to "yup this is is, I gotta figure out how to get us outa this joint"

And so I did.

There were plenty of other "almost last straws" along the way; more so after my husband died under their lack and instruction. But knowing what that Limb Coordinator meant, knowing what was going on with LCM, I knew I had to get us the fluck out and asap, no matter the cost. And it was plenty.

Amen, Box and Jave, freedom is wonderful !

Their family continues to be in our prayers around here.

Hi Jane, thanks for sharing your story here~! Like you, I've been there, done that and have a few really ugly tshirts as my reward.

But as is/was the norm in TWI no one ever DID anything about it and now you can! 'Cuz you get it! You understand the exasperation and the sheer frustation and self doubt and self hate it takes one to in order to consider THAT!

These are proven cases of TWI induced suicide, before, during and after, as you understand. It's such classic bullying and mind altering, isn't it?

I especially love now that you feel your emotions and express them! Especially as strong women, we are but chastised and ridiculed and further attempts are made to push us even further into submission and control when we express those emotions. People give up, run away or ignore such behavior.

It's ok to get angry! It's healthy even and it's so much more freeing to get that stuff outa there! Talking about it and even your child like temper tantrums are healthy and normal and good; I'm thriled you get to do that. You're one of the very fortunate ones in that regard.

We know that when a child is tipping over it's best to just let them tip and get it out of their system; it works so much better than forcing them into some column of our own making and expecting them to adhere to it so that WE don't have to deal.

It still works for adults and when anyone tells us we shouldn't, can't, ought not express ourselves, even in anger ( maybe more anger is actually needed) then they are more and more like TWI themselves in their desire to system step another into compliance.

Our culture says, especially to women, "don't fight, don't yell, don't argue" so we stay frustrated and angry and impacted with emotions that will come out somewhere, that's a surety. For some reason it's not ladylike or some goofyshi+ if we express "hey!" and then follow that with the "what" part.

Sadness.

I applaud you and address you on behalf of women

Kelly had another of the episodes last night.

She wasn't home so I didn't see it, she said on her 1-10 scale it was an 8.

Sigh..........

Back to square one, I guess.

Who,why or when is gods buisness.

I'm finally understanding that, Frank, thank you.

Sometimes I wanna bi+ch about the painful journey to get to that but then I must remember that's it's all part of that journey.

And to let God do God's thing and to stay out of his way........

well did you put your zip code in and get an answer>

I did, which is why I giggled. That forecast was more accurate that the doppler one I usually consult as to whether or not to take my umbrella.

Click here: Do I Need an Umbrella?

lol that's funny. It's raining here and it said yes I need an umbrella. Cool!

Does anyone know who is the administrator of this FB group?

Suzie Vandergrift Bliss

Thomas Henry Smith

Chia Mandry

Jay Dennis (creator)

The entire facebook profile is about Wierwille. Don't eat lunch yet and check it out your own self. I've already had my hands slapped for not agreeing w/ them and my posts deleted. That's ok, probably will do it again.

Happy Anniversary Greasespot Cafe.

We've accomplished much with this site and keep TWI on it's toes, provided a landing pad for those hurting or with questions.

We've exposed things in our lives that were painful and tough to even peek at much less splay wide open to invite discussion.

For me, personally, it's also been incredible therapy, alot of laughter, as many tears and a connection with some really amazing people; a few of whom I count now as trusted dear friends.

I have no idea how many times, in 10 years I wandered in here to read something that kept me awake or maybe put me to sleep .

Or when I couldn't sleep, I wandered in here to just hang out and consider this life of being free, to learn from those of you who have had that courage to share your lives and story with total strangers.

I've raised two children at Greasespot Cafe and you all have tolerated my stories of those amazing young women and the pains and hysterics and laughter and wonder of being a single/only parent. Thank you for giving me that luxury; they're good people that might thank a place like this for their mama having a place to go and do something else.

We've shared deaths, marriages, divorces, jobs, births, losses and gains and we've done so as a strange somehow functional community.

We've hung in there when it would have been so much easier to bail, we've stayed put when it would have been so much less painful to just close the joint up and walk away. That is a LOT to be proud of and celebrate !

Thank you, Pawtucket, and your team of those who assist you out of the goodness of their hearts and give only because they want to.

Here is to another 10 years.

This story has been me telling our private story, our personal good and not so much, me blabbing things and trusting. Not a small deal for me. Some have taken advantage of that but I expected it and the cost to them will be evident. I don't worry too much about that as I come to understand it's not mine.

And on that note, I end this here.

And........the 10th Anniversary of Greasespot Cafe?! Wow, I've been here from the beginning of that and before. Yikes. There were MANY a night when Samantha was MIA or Kelly was sick or I was trying to remember why I was in school that I could come into chat and hang out and have something in common with you all. The laughs, I miss that very much ! Thank you Paw for the laughs around here and allowing me such freedom to do whatever it is I do here.

I don't have a crystal ball and can't say for sure where our journey will take us now. We've had some recent significant losses in our family that have caused me to stop and be sure I'm where I'm supposed to be and I find that I'm not. So, therein lies the next part of life that involves re-grouping and taking with me what I need from mistakes; some bigger than others and some more painful than others.

Alot of this life, I understand now, isn't mine to claim as fault(s) and I like being there, too. I don't have to accept things just because someone said "it is what it is".

Not to me it's not and that's my choice and thank God I get to have those options.

Kelly is almost a Sophomore in High School, I'm starting my little Advocacy business, Samantha is doing very well in her own life. Things are moving forward just like they're supposed to be and I'm proud of that in our little family. Kailin is 5 years old and about to start Kindergarten; amazing. My son in law and I are finding a place where we can love each other for the sake of those we love in common.

I'm kicking around the idea of adding a partner in my life so I'm looking at that with the lens of alot of 'hmmmmm' and trying to figure out how that works in this journey and if I truly want it to. We'll see, as it goes.

Those of you who have supported this story, I heartily thank you.

copyright Shellon R North April 20, 2010