sogwap51

The person that speaks for him in court is DFACs who continues to drop the ball. Reason being I've found out is that he's not in any danger because...he's here. He apparently continues to fall through the cracks because "he's safe with you." Duh.... DFACs had to call my work today regarding another case and I "happened" to bring up mine. She said his mom cancelled because of a doctor's appt and told her that was bull and why she REALLY cancelled. He and my son went to his house tonight so he could clean his room for her...she said "what are you doing home???" and left to play pool at a bar. Told him "I don't play next week or the week after but gotta go for now." I would think after basically not seeing your child for a month you might want to spend at least 10 minutes with him one-on-one. Duh. She told DFACs he was in school, I told them he is not until Jan. 6. The laws seems to be really crazy down here. BUT since he's not in danger, he's bottom of the totum pole. Sending him back isn't an option to "prove a point" because DFACs still won't get off their butts cause they haven't since July. So...I'll wait...and I know he has a court case in January and because of where I'm working I think I can pull some strings. If I show up in court she will go balastic though. Time will tell. This is a good kid with a good heart and I want him to be able to develop into a great human being and emphasize his abilities. Every kid should have a chance....

He's still with me. He's calling me "mom." He and I had a long talk this evening. I LOVE THIS KID. His mom called today and he was next to me with the phone and she said "I love you" and he said "yea, whatever." I always say I love you to my kids whether it's on the phone, going to bed, etc. they hear it many times a day. If I'm on the phone with him and say "love you" he always says "love you too." Or...good night, love you...he says I love you. He always responds like my kids with it. To her he says, yea whatever. He's getting a financial settlement for an injury last year that is SUPPOSED to go into a trust fund for him. I explained that to him and they why's of it tonight. She's already planning how she will spend the money to her benefit. DFACs here actually sucks and in the long run I don't think this will ever go any place. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

Thanks bowtie; I'll keep your offer in mind. His mom was to meet with DFACs tomorrow, but she cancelled the appointment which doesn't surprise me. She will continue to avoid them and put them off till they threaten to put her in jail or something. She told DFACs she had to cancel because there was too much going on at work right now. The real reason is tonight is her pool night at the bar and she'll be hung over tomorrow.

Oops....forgot to add that he's not involved with The Way.

He called me not too long ago and told me that he was moving back to Augusta. He's supposed to give me a call after moved and settled. He keeps in off and on touch with my husband.

Tom, the boy is 13...but I've known him and taken care of him off and on since he was 5.

I believe it was Nancy Schaffer that wrote the book "VP and ME."

I don't think crushing is just attraction and/or lust. I think you can carry a torch for someone for a long time and have it be a crush with no lustful thoughts involved. It's the intrigue of the secret that keeps it alive. Love on the other hand, where it's "in love" between male and female, has to also have something on both parts to keep it alive. People that are married have to still work on keeping that spark alive after a period of time (you said it had been 5 years)....that is why so many marriages end up complacent and so many times when the "spark" is gone, people decide it's easier to divorce and move on that to work at putting the spark back. Still think your best bet is to tell him...and then see what transpires and how you feel afterwards in the weeks ahead.

Take this food for thought into consideration. Are you sure you are in love with him or do you have a crush on him? For love to blossom over five years usually takes reciprecation on another's part. A crush can last a long time without reciprecation because it is "secretive" so tends to blossom on it's own. If you can muster the courage to talk to him and tell him you've had a "crush" on him for a long time...you will find out after that if it's a crush or love. Once you speak of a crush to a person and it's no longer a "secret", if it's a crush it falls by the wayside because the intrigue has been taken out of it. If it's true love, it will remain. You have nothing to lose to tell him...you can either gain or stay the same. I'd say it's worth the shot to tell him you have a "crush" (don't tell him you're in love with him but a crush)...and see how you feel towards him a week after the conversation. If it falls by the wayside after you've put it out in the open, you can move on with your life. If it doesn't fall by the wayside, it may be what he's been waiting to hear.

Interesting....DFACs came to work today regarding a different case. The investigator knows what I'm doing regarding this child...so introduced us. She said she has been trying for over a month to get ahold of this child's mother...called (no answer or return calls...remember its a cell phone and DFACs doesn't get her voice mail so she just isn't picking up)...left notes on her door at her trailer...no response. DFACs told me that they had turned it over to their "big boss" today because no requirements on the mom's part have been met. They need to speak to the boy. Told them, "should have told me...he's been at my house since Thanksgiving break from school." They about fell over! They are supposed to come to my house tomorrow to talk with him since they now know where he is. ONLY...he spent one night with his mom and I "know the look"... He is going home Sunday he said. The holidays are coming up so she has bribed him...typical and does it all the time. "If you come home I'll buy you a 4-wheeler for Christmas, etc." Talked with him before about this strategy and how it gets you nowhere in the end...short-term material items that may or may NOT come to pass.... He's very "closed" right now so not sure what all she's promised him but told him he needs to make up his mind because I'm not going to go through the fight and hassel of it all if he's going to drop the ball halfway. He needs to make a stand in his life for himself and his direction and stick to it...good or bad...he has to decide which route he is taking. I was on the prayer list for a job and my daughter said "I bet you got the job at the police department just so you would have access to DFACs and investigators to get Ryan." But...now...the ball apparently is in Ryan's court. Depending on how it turns out with his conversation with DFACS will determine the route I also take. Thanks again for your prayers.... and Ginger Tea...having the situation in your thoughts as a positive thing is prayer enough for me on your part. Thanks!

Court date has been delayed to sometime the first of the year...they are waiting on his psycological evaluation information that hasn't arrived yet. His mom picked him up today. He's been sick for two days and kept telling her he needed to go to a doctor but she blew me off. He had a fever this afternoon of 104. My daughter had a doctors appointment yesterday (they both have the same doctor) and even offered that she could just meet him there when she got off work as his fever yesterday was 102 to 103 and the doctor is on her way home. Instead she brought over outdated cough syrup for him last night. Duhhhh. I drove by on my way home tonight to see if she was home with him. Her car was gone but a truck was there. Wednesday is her pool playing night and the guy that drives the truck is her partner. Didn't know if he stayed with Ryan or if they went to play pool in her car. Will see what I can find out tomorrow. Ryan didn't want to leave with her tonight. He was afraid he'd be alone with such a high fever. Poor kid.........

Thanks for the prayers! Found out his court date is Dec. 17. He's still here. He asks his mom everyday if he can stay still and so far she's let him. He called me "mom" today.

I am enbarking on a journey to get custody of a child that I've been trying to get for quite a while. I've known him for 8 years and his mother is a drunk and a "ho". I kept him this summer for 3 months..(she placed him with me)..then snatched him back and wouldn't allow him to visit for 3 1/2 months. He's been with me for 9 days now again. He has court dates coming up because when he's with her he lashes out because he knows she doesn't want him and she constantly "goats" him to lose his temper. She's also been physically abusive to him. She's even had him sleep on park benches while she had "men" in her house...and the kid doesn't even get to have a key to his own house. He has to break in a window to get in and then she threatens to have him jailed for breaking and entering (his own house...duh). DFACs has done nothing since June. He was home for one day (today) and she actually called and asked if he could come back here. She doesn't want him but doesn't want anyone else to have him. He is happy, relaxed, comfortable here...I've never seen a temper from him in 8 years (known him since he was 5)...and when I moved from Ohio to Georgia, he called 2 years ago Christmas morning at wee hours to have me talk to his mom because she was so screwed up. Convinced her to move here (so I could keep an eye on him basically). He's like a son to me after so many years and a brother to my kids who adore him. I'm stepping in to the juvenile system and it can either go my way...or he will be in a boot camp and detention center for who ever knows how long. Prayers would be appreciated. This kid has a great heart...just a lousey mom and life she provides him. The first 3 days this time he was here he ate and ate and ate because she hadn't brought groceries in a month. She has a doctors appointment tomorrow for him to "get him medicated for his temper" which is totally un-necessary. The child does not need to be on medication. I want to keep him if it's at all available. Thanks.

Not working can be very depressing...especially with the holidays at hand...I understand. If the person doesn't want to pay what the job is worth...at least for the time being it is pay. Maybe you could do it while you look for something that would satisfy you better and offer more. At least it might "tide you over" if you know what I mean. There are many "arsessssss" out there to work for...sometimes you just have to pick the one that uses the most toilet paper.

My prayers are with you too Sadie. I know how hard it can be to be in the position you are in. My kid's still bring all their friends home to eat here (most of their friends the parents never have groceries...one kid's mom hasn't bought food in 6 weeks...because she drinks away her pay). My food bill consequently is always outrageous and put groceries on a credit card for 8 months...but my kids have always brought home hungry friends...and I can't object to that. I have one kid here now that's been here 8 days. I try not to look at the finances... You will be abundantly blessed for taking care of your grandaughter in more ways than you can imagine. Financial prosperity will come to you...it will. Look ahead and not back.

I have a cockatial that landed on my roof about 8 months ago. My son spotted it and called to it and it flew down, came inside and has been here ever since. It's a male and whistles (we whistle back and forth to each other), have taught it to kiss and it will perch on your finger, shoulder, head, knee...wherever you place it. Was our FIRST bird also and had no clue what to do with it so went to the pet store to ask. Had to shut it in the bathroom while I went to the store to buy a cage, etc. so the "poop" was contained while I was gone :)-->. Has turned out to be a great bird pet. My cat sleeps on top of the cage at night (no...cat doesn't try to get bird). The bird actually whistles to the cat. The cat ignores the bird, doesn't try to eat the fish, the dogs ignore the cat and they all cuddle together actually.

Georgia does have a high rate of unemployment. Augusta (by where I live) increased 33% this year. Made it even tougher for me to find work. BUT God found it for me! Not a great pay...but a job...and I'm thankful. Have been there almost 3 weeks and they are offering me a position the first of the year that people that have been there 13 years are going to apply for. YET...husband came home tonight..and all he does is bitch, gripe and complain about his job. Finally got in his face and told him he should be thankful that he's working! Many people aren't. He's complained about every job he's had since I married him 21 years ago....gets old. Told him to go buy a lottery ticked and win so he could retire because I'm tired of the bitching. He has a job. He should be thankful. I am for mine whether it pays a lot or not. At least I'm working.

If I'm reading you right, I understand about the social framework. The toughest part about my job is that I work 3-11 p.m. and only see my son on weekends. He is 15 and "testing the waters" which made me nervous about not being around him more. However, since I made the plunge with the job, his sister has jumped in and become responsible...cooking dinner, making sure he's covered, etc. Normally they've never gotten along. They even went to the movies together Saturday night! So my nervousness on not being there for him, has been an unseen blessing by him and his sister getting closer as I had to "bow out" for a period of time. This job may go 7-3 p.m. the first of the year also. As usual, hindsight is always best and there is learning in what we go through when we look back.

I know how you feel MJ. I went to an appointment at 2:00 to file bankrupcy and came home and the message was on the answering machine from the police dept. and started the next morning. Hated to go to the bankrupcy appointment...but had no other choice as savings gone, etc., just like the boat you're in. Seems when I finally threw in the towel...God could go to work and help me. I tried and tried and tried to do it and make it happen...and when I finally gave up, He could finally move. Hope this helps.

Nancy is still in...and yes it's spelled Hearne. She was practically raised at HQ and that's all she's pretty much ever know. She'll always be there till the bitter end. She went on the field once...and was brought back to HQ in the middle of it because she was a duck out of water...never having been away from a HQ place. She's a wonderful person with a tender heart...but she'll be there forever.

Guess I was in for about 17 years...1973-1990

Kit is there an electrical union there that he can join? Getting your "foot in the door" with the government can be hard in some states. Possibly the local police dept would be a "way in" also. They usually don't publicize their jobs. I went in and asked for an application to fill out and they "just happened" to be hiring but it wasn't publicized. Would maybe be worth checking out. It'll come...it'll come. :)-->

Tonight I "SOLO"...on my own from 3 - 11 p.m. Will...be...interesting. It's different being on "this side" of the coin as in the early 90's I worked for the state part of the FBI. After learning this end, I'll kind of get to see the "full circle." Tis rather interesting...just a ton to learn in a short time. They only give 40 hours training and I would think because it is so critical that it would be a month of training...but as my husband would say..."that's what you get for thinking when you're not use to it." LOL

Thanks for the vote of confidence excathedra...I go "solo" Friday (after only 5 days of training (gulp))...so prayers would be appreciated for that for sure! Nervous as a cat...but determined. Even though the pay isn't great, it's pay and I'm thankful for that. The benefits are good though...they pay all my medical/dental and all the kids insurance too. Since the pay isn't great they try to make up for it in other ways.

MJ .... it'll happen. Just be patient. I've was out of work for 8 months. Prayers are coming your way!