The men in my family don't like our cat to be in the bathroom with them. They say it because she likes to play in the "stream", but maybe your e-mail contains the real story!
My daughter had just gotten out of the shower and was naked in front of the mirror brushing her long hair.. and her cat attacked jumped on her back and dug in for life!
she ran around her place like insanity bumping into walls and mirrors trying to get her off her wet now bleeding back !
the more she screamed the more the cat hung on now wet and frightened.
she finaly had to stop drop and roll to get the beast off of her!
these dam cats im telling ya they are a pain in the butt, why do i love them so much?
Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right fore finger and thumb on either of side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheek while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrapper, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Pull spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growl emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cats throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrapper. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw; force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply bandage to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door on to neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence whilst swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get spouse to drive you to hospital; sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Great stories, everyone! Reminds me of the time I TRIED to give a cat we had a flea-dip in a five gallon bucket. It's not gonna happen! I fought the cat - and the cat won! I think she sprouted more paws during the skirmish - had lots of scratches on my hands and forearms to prove it. Me - ooooooooouch!
There's numerous stories on the net about such events. They commonly seem to have some sort of connection to male genetalia, and the usual result being that poor, stupid man renders himself unconcious.
All of that's well and good, and being as groin injuries (to men, anyway) are sooo humorous, I guess I can see the popularity. But, have you ever been knocked out? Do you even know anyone who has? I sure don't. I myself have been struck in the head with a 20' piece of 2" steel pipe and - though I did see stars for a few minutes - remained concious.
We all seem to have the notion - reinforced no doubt by countless T.V. shows - that it's incredibly easy to be knocked unconcious. That's simply not true. And to think that someone could do it to themself by bumping their head under a sink, well it strains credulity to the breaking point (for me, anyway).
O.K. back to the show...
Oh yeah, then there's this:http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/hindlick.htm
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VeganXTC
This is too funny!
The men in my family don't like our cat to be in the bathroom with them. They say it because she likes to play in the "stream", but maybe your e-mail contains the real story!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
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pond
oh no!
oh no!
i get this the poor guy .
My daughter had just gotten out of the shower and was naked in front of the mirror brushing her long hair.. and her cat attacked jumped on her back and dug in for life!
she ran around her place like insanity bumping into walls and mirrors trying to get her off her wet now bleeding back !
the more she screamed the more the cat hung on now wet and frightened.
she finaly had to stop drop and roll to get the beast off of her!
these dam cats im telling ya they are a pain in the butt, why do i love them so much?
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topoftheworld
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SafariVista
The nice mouser in the barn is about the only type of cat we enjoy~
aaacchhhooooo!
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topoftheworld
How to get cat to take a pill (Not!)
Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right fore finger and thumb on either of side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheek while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrapper, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Pull spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growl emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cats throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrapper. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw; force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply bandage to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door on to neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence whilst swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get spouse to drive you to hospital; sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for SPCA to collect cat.
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T-Bone
Great stories, everyone! Reminds me of the time I TRIED to give a cat we had a flea-dip in a five gallon bucket. It's not gonna happen! I fought the cat - and the cat won! I think she sprouted more paws during the skirmish - had lots of scratches on my hands and forearms to prove it. Me - ooooooooouch!
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George Aar
Yeah, O.K., I'll play the spoilsport.
There's numerous stories on the net about such events. They commonly seem to have some sort of connection to male genetalia, and the usual result being that poor, stupid man renders himself unconcious.
All of that's well and good, and being as groin injuries (to men, anyway) are sooo humorous, I guess I can see the popularity. But, have you ever been knocked out? Do you even know anyone who has? I sure don't. I myself have been struck in the head with a 20' piece of 2" steel pipe and - though I did see stars for a few minutes - remained concious.
We all seem to have the notion - reinforced no doubt by countless T.V. shows - that it's incredibly easy to be knocked unconcious. That's simply not true. And to think that someone could do it to themself by bumping their head under a sink, well it strains credulity to the breaking point (for me, anyway).
O.K. back to the show...
Oh yeah, then there's this:http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/hindlick.htm
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ex70sHouston
I was shocked once and blacked out for several minates.
I was hit in the head and stunned ti the point that I couldn't move for several minates.
What really happened to the guy was his wife hitting him with a frying pan so she could do a short arm inspection to prove he'd been faithful.
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