Funny TBone... I always heard that as "Silver and gold have I none since I joined TWI, but such as I have left give I thee, take my wife and kids please."
I assure you my research department is the finest available. It just so happens that the text in question does indeed say The Rodney Dangerfield Text on the cover but in the title page it does read The Henny Youngman Text. This is either a proofreader’s oversight or a deliberate misrepresentation by the publisher…And if that don’t work for yah I’m gonna pull out the time-traveling-plagiarist-machine that Henny kept under wraps.
AAAhhhhhh - BUT does anyone have the Abbott and Costello text? Its very rare - and only the most scholarly of scholars will ever be able to understand and translate it.
The following translation is actually a composite from two different documents: The Extreme-Egomaniac Persnickety Text and The Hypocritical Insinseriously Text.
Exodus 20: 1-21
1 And Shyster spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the lord thy god, which have brought thee out of the land of Christianity.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth – unless you run it by me first – and if and when it meets my approval said graven image shall beareth tribute to me.
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to anyone else, nor serve them: for I the lord god Shyster am a jealous Shyster, visiting the duplicity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate my agenda; and make sure there's a parking spot for my motor coach when I come to visit;
6 And shew mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
7 Thou shalt not mix a drink in the name of the lord god Shyster in any pure grain alcohol save Drambui; for Shyster shalt lay such a guilt-trip on you.
8 Remember Uncle Harry day, to keep it holy – and I won't give a rat's ar$$ what you do the rest of the year.
9 Six days shalt thou labour for me, and do all thy other work that pays the bills on your own time:
10 But the seventh day is Shyster's Day: in it thou shalt not do any of thy other work that pays the bills, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates [unless of course they are earning extra money to pay for my class]:
11 For in one day the lord god Shyster made this two-bit operation, yah see, and all that in it is, and rested thereafter on his lazy ar$$: wherefore the lord god Shyster blessed Shyster's Day, and hallowed it.
12 Honour thy father in the word and give me your mother: that thy days may be long within my two-bit operation which the lord thy god Shyster giveth thee.
13 Thou shalt not kill time with any hobby or recreation that taketh away from your duties, responsibilities, and required meetings of aforementioned two-bit operation.
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery – that's my job.
15 Thou shalt not steal – that's my job too!
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against Shyster – and if thou should be dumb enough to do such a thing then thou shalt surely die…the slow death of character assassination by way of but not limited to being labeled demon-possessed.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his foot, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's – as I said before and for the last time – that's my job! And let's keep it simple – bring the neighbor's wife and maidservant around to my motor coach – all the other stuff drop off at my treasury office [but use some common sense if it's big like a house just bring the title deed]…oh and touch base with me later as far as what to do with the manservant.
18 And all the people saw Shyster's hissy-fit of thunderings, and lightnings, and the noise of the ar$$-trumpet, and the smoke coming out of his earballs: and when the people saw all these things, they removed their brains, and stood afar off from their brains.
19 And they said unto Shyster, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not reason speak with us, lest we also die the slow death of character assassination.
20 And Shyster said unto the people, Fear not: for I have come to prove you, and from henceforth this fear of me shalt be re-labeled "love."
21 And the people continuously stood afar off from their brains, and Shyster drew near unto the thick darkness which he claimed was due to snow blindness in the middle of July.
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Tom Strange
Funny TBone... I always heard that as "Silver and gold have I none since I joined TWI, but such as I have left give I thee, take my wife and kids please."
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T-Bone
My research department tells me the Rodney Dangerfield Text does have the word "please" at the end of the verse.
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Sushi
Not to nitpick,
, but shouldn't it be the Henny Youngman text?
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T-Bone
I assure you my research department is the finest available. It just so happens that the text in question does indeed say The Rodney Dangerfield Text on the cover but in the title page it does read The Henny Youngman Text. This is either a proofreader’s oversight or a deliberate misrepresentation by the publisher…And if that don’t work for yah I’m gonna pull out the time-traveling-plagiarist-machine that Henny kept under wraps.
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polar bear
I now pronounce that the name T-Bone be changed to Funny-Bone!
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doojable
AAAhhhhhh - BUT does anyone have the Abbott and Costello text? Its very rare - and only the most scholarly of scholars will ever be able to understand and translate it.
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T-Bone
The Abbott and Costello Text was VPW’s prooftext for his study “Who is the Word?” in The Word’s Way.
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WordWolf
Myself,
I prefer to stick to the hypercritical Greek Texts like the Phillips and the Hershey Text,
and only rarely extend my research to the Estrasainto Aramaic Texts like the Pecrapa.
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T-Bone
The following translation is actually a composite from two different documents: The Extreme-Egomaniac Persnickety Text and The Hypocritical Insinseriously Text.
Exodus 20: 1-21
1 And Shyster spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the lord thy god, which have brought thee out of the land of Christianity.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth – unless you run it by me first – and if and when it meets my approval said graven image shall beareth tribute to me.
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to anyone else, nor serve them: for I the lord god Shyster am a jealous Shyster, visiting the duplicity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate my agenda; and make sure there's a parking spot for my motor coach when I come to visit;
6 And shew mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
7 Thou shalt not mix a drink in the name of the lord god Shyster in any pure grain alcohol save Drambui; for Shyster shalt lay such a guilt-trip on you.
8 Remember Uncle Harry day, to keep it holy – and I won't give a rat's ar$$ what you do the rest of the year.
9 Six days shalt thou labour for me, and do all thy other work that pays the bills on your own time:
10 But the seventh day is Shyster's Day: in it thou shalt not do any of thy other work that pays the bills, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates [unless of course they are earning extra money to pay for my class]:
11 For in one day the lord god Shyster made this two-bit operation, yah see, and all that in it is, and rested thereafter on his lazy ar$$: wherefore the lord god Shyster blessed Shyster's Day, and hallowed it.
12 Honour thy father in the word and give me your mother: that thy days may be long within my two-bit operation which the lord thy god Shyster giveth thee.
13 Thou shalt not kill time with any hobby or recreation that taketh away from your duties, responsibilities, and required meetings of aforementioned two-bit operation.
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery – that's my job.
15 Thou shalt not steal – that's my job too!
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against Shyster – and if thou should be dumb enough to do such a thing then thou shalt surely die…the slow death of character assassination by way of but not limited to being labeled demon-possessed.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his foot, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's – as I said before and for the last time – that's my job! And let's keep it simple – bring the neighbor's wife and maidservant around to my motor coach – all the other stuff drop off at my treasury office [but use some common sense if it's big like a house just bring the title deed]…oh and touch base with me later as far as what to do with the manservant.
18 And all the people saw Shyster's hissy-fit of thunderings, and lightnings, and the noise of the ar$$-trumpet, and the smoke coming out of his earballs: and when the people saw all these things, they removed their brains, and stood afar off from their brains.
19 And they said unto Shyster, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not reason speak with us, lest we also die the slow death of character assassination.
20 And Shyster said unto the people, Fear not: for I have come to prove you, and from henceforth this fear of me shalt be re-labeled "love."
21 And the people continuously stood afar off from their brains, and Shyster drew near unto the thick darkness which he claimed was due to snow blindness in the middle of July.
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