Anot said "My victim was nine years old and I only fondled her. But that was enough to be what is considered, crossing the line. The last I heard, she only suffered a little embarrassment and recovered quite nicely."
Saying this AGAIN!
She recovered quite nicely....gawd that makes me wanna PUKE!!
As the mother of a 10-year-old girl and someone who was a 9-year-old victim of someone who "ONLY fondled me", I'm interested in hearing about this "line you crossed" that's "considered" and how you think it's even yours to talk about - how well she is or isn't doing since you violated her innocence and changed her life forever. What was it that you were doing that was fine and dandy and then what happened, did you get carried away with passion for your love, this 9-year-old innocent? Did you take an innocent child's hug and turn it into something life-changing? Or did you set out to forever change this little one and her family's lives in ways unspeakable?
When that man fondled me it was in the guise of straightening out my jacket. He may have thought he only fondled me, but he confused me in ways I won't go into here. I did nothing wrong, but at age 9, I had to decided whether to risk telling on somebody's grandpa and decided I wouldn't be believed over him, so I never told.
You think you feel guilt when you read other molestation victim's accounts? Well, thanks to someone like you, I relive those feelings of guilt that someone like you thrust onto my innocent little mind. It took me years and years to get over it. You need to stop presuming you know anything at all about that girl you violated. You need to only pray for her, you don't get to feel like she "only" anything.
I read you to say that at some point your behavior became unacceptable by someone else's standard. I don't see you saying what you did was wrong in your estimation. Until you believe that with your whole heart, you're just on the prowl looking for your next victim.
From what you've said so far I believe you still think there is something sexy about a 9-year-old. Let me clear that up for you. There is nothing sexy about children. Whatever that other thing you spoke of - children behaving aggressively sexually - just stop with that. I'm not going to dignify that by explaining anything.
NO matter how inappropriate a CHILD'S behavior may be, it's the ADULT'S responsibility and privilege to be a good example to that child and respect that child's safety. NO MATTER WHAT.
yeah i'm still trying to understand this one along with a lot of other stuff you said
what WAS your relationship with this 9 year old who is doing so well ? how old were you ?
i don't even know why i'm asking this
--
oh man, i don't know
what is your past ? maybe then i could understand, i don't know
I think you and I are doing the same thing excath. And I've seen no matter how you might hurt inside you extend yourself and can be touched deeply. It's what Abi is warning us about and maybe this thread is for us to grow outside of other things that might come about because of it.
And I think that the points brought out by others here need to be addressed by Anothen again. Because without question to consider children being aggressive sexually is not appropriate thinking for an adult. That keeps coming back to me as I back off my emotions.
First of all, I want to personally apologize to everyone for any abuse that you have suffered as a result of TWI. I also want to specifically apologize to those that have suffered from sexual abuse. Yes, even to those which have suffered sexual abuse from VP.
this is weird. this is a crock. let's talk about the 9 year old you only fondled. what are you insane ?
And I think that the points brought out by others here need to be addressed by Anothen again. Because without question to consider children being aggressive sexually is not appropriate thinking for an adult. That keeps coming back to me as I back off my emotions.
I said all I was supposed to say and I'll just draw the line right here.
I can see that many of you have unresolved issues that you need to work out before I am able to go any further.
I was not allowed to post here until after I came clean. I was wondering why, now I see.
I'll just close saying I don't have any hard feelings toward any of you. I really wish you all the best. This forum is a really good thing and I hope it stays alive.
I said all I was supposed to say and I'll just draw the line right here.
I can see that many of you have unresolved issues that you need to work out before I am able to go any further.
I was not allowed to post here until after I came clean. I was wondering why, now I see.
I'll just close saying I don't have any hard feelings toward any of you. I really wish you all the best. This forum is a really good thing and I hope it stays alive.
I said all I was supposed to say and I'll just draw the line right here.
I can see that many of you have unresolved issues that you need to work out before I am able to go any further.
I was not allowed to post here until after I came clean. I was wondering why, now I see.
I'll just close saying I don't have any hard feelings toward any of you. I really wish you all the best. This forum is a really good thing and I hope it stays alive.
goodbye, peace out.
ano
All you were suppose to say?
What do our issues have to do with your issues?
You were not allowed to post here because of who?
I welcomed you and still feel everyman has the right to have their dignity restored but you said things that were red flags to folks here that have studied mental health professionally as well as those who have lived thru abuse and then us that have sought therapy also. I didn't throw you out with the trash dude. But I would like to see you reply to the ones that have asked honest questions.
You have certainly encountered the anger and scorn for which you say you had prepared yourself. It seems that some have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that opening their hearts is not tantamount opening their door and allowing you access to their young children alone. ( As a wine / beer wholesale rep, I have stacks of samples in my home. While it wouldn't be a good idea for me to take in an alcoholic room mate, I can have empathy and love for someone who has struggles with alcoholism.) I applaud your courage in your very public confessional. I am sorry that some have some here have taken it upon themselves to question your motives and would exact from you death by crucifixion as your proper penance. You have admitted your painful struggles with your desires that hold sway over you even though you have turned to the Scriptures and prayer to rid yourself of them.
I would encourage you not to assuage your conscience by minimizing the suffering of
those that you have wronged. Rather, you should take full ownership of your actions and the total damage (which you may only see the tip of the iceberg at present) that they caused. In owning up to our transgressions, we empty ourselves or pride and allow the only thing that trumps karma - grace to happen.
Perhaps it would be helpful if you could help us understand how you came to take sexual liberties with a minor. Were you abused as a child yourself? If so, could you share details as to how old you were when the abuse first occurred, what happened and how long did the abuse go on? Could you tell us when these desires came up in you? What triggers them now? Feel free to expand this discussion to whatever extent you think would be informative for us.
Some will listen and seek to understand. Some will throw stones.
Did you ever feel envy towards the other little girls that you knew had no understanding of your hell? I did. In fact I think it has something to do with why even now I prefer the company of men and have only just begun to give women the respect and honor they deserve, with a few friends I have outside of this forum who have provided me with faith in how women can be incredibly powerful and tender at the same time.
i did want to emphasize how much Bri's thoughts mean to me
My adopted daughter Bri just read this and she told me that Abi you're right...in every way and she said a lot more that I really can't say. I am sorry I didn't understand....she was victomized by 2 pedifiles and verbally and physically abused by her bipolar mother.
I said all I was supposed to say and I'll just draw the line right here.
I can see that many of you have unresolved issues that you need to work out before I am able to go any further.
I was not allowed to post here until after I came clean. I was wondering why, now I see.
I'll just close saying I don't have any hard feelings toward any of you. I really wish you all the best. This forum is a really good thing and I hope it stays alive.
goodbye, peace out.
ano
Yeah, I have unresolved issues. I will continue to have unresolved issues for as long as our legal system continues to allow pedophiles back out on the streets where they can continue to victimize more innocent children. Actually, I am suprised you are even allowed internet access, but only a little.
I also have unresolved issues toward pedophiles who blame children for being "sexually aggressive", who minimize the crime they committed and the hurt it may have caused. Your confession was laden with excuses - THAT is what I have issues with.
I will quite probably be hated in this forum because of what I've revealed to you. I first apologize to you of whom I've offended, because my offense has even extended to and effected you. Every time I read about someone that has been sexually abused here, it feels as if I were the one that did it. It once again tears me apart and I have to return to the very beginning and start all over. Sometimes I want to hate God for it and just die. It must not be readily available because I have asked and pleaded just to die and get it over with. I'm too damn chicken to do it myself.
This has been a very intense struggle for me. I don't expect anyone to forgive me for what I've done. I don't expect anyone to welcome me with open arms either. I've come to terms that I am hated by everyone that views my face on the Sex Offender Registry. If this has been overly offensive on this forum, I will quietly leave and you will never hear from me again.
now i go back and read this part of what you said and i feel such sorrow
i'm sorry i'm very confused
but i do not hate you
nor do i hate my childhood relatives and not even veepee
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Saying this AGAIN!
She recovered quite nicely....gawd that makes me wanna PUKE!!
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washingtonweather
Is he registered as a sex offender?
That act certainly qualifies legally.
How many of you welcome sex offenders into your neighborhood?
On your son/daughters teams?
In your churches?
In your schools?
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bowtwi
As the mother of a 10-year-old girl and someone who was a 9-year-old victim of someone who "ONLY fondled me", I'm interested in hearing about this "line you crossed" that's "considered" and how you think it's even yours to talk about - how well she is or isn't doing since you violated her innocence and changed her life forever. What was it that you were doing that was fine and dandy and then what happened, did you get carried away with passion for your love, this 9-year-old innocent? Did you take an innocent child's hug and turn it into something life-changing? Or did you set out to forever change this little one and her family's lives in ways unspeakable?
When that man fondled me it was in the guise of straightening out my jacket. He may have thought he only fondled me, but he confused me in ways I won't go into here. I did nothing wrong, but at age 9, I had to decided whether to risk telling on somebody's grandpa and decided I wouldn't be believed over him, so I never told.
You think you feel guilt when you read other molestation victim's accounts? Well, thanks to someone like you, I relive those feelings of guilt that someone like you thrust onto my innocent little mind. It took me years and years to get over it. You need to stop presuming you know anything at all about that girl you violated. You need to only pray for her, you don't get to feel like she "only" anything.
I read you to say that at some point your behavior became unacceptable by someone else's standard. I don't see you saying what you did was wrong in your estimation. Until you believe that with your whole heart, you're just on the prowl looking for your next victim.
From what you've said so far I believe you still think there is something sexy about a 9-year-old. Let me clear that up for you. There is nothing sexy about children. Whatever that other thing you spoke of - children behaving aggressively sexually - just stop with that. I'm not going to dignify that by explaining anything.
NO matter how inappropriate a CHILD'S behavior may be, it's the ADULT'S responsibility and privilege to be a good example to that child and respect that child's safety. NO MATTER WHAT.
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excathedra
yeah i'm still trying to understand this one along with a lot of other stuff you said
what WAS your relationship with this 9 year old who is doing so well ? how old were you ?
i don't even know why i'm asking this
--
oh man, i don't know
what is your past ? maybe then i could understand, i don't know
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ChattyKathy
I think you and I are doing the same thing excath. And I've seen no matter how you might hurt inside you extend yourself and can be touched deeply. It's what Abi is warning us about and maybe this thread is for us to grow outside of other things that might come about because of it.
And I think that the points brought out by others here need to be addressed by Anothen again. Because without question to consider children being aggressive sexually is not appropriate thinking for an adult. That keeps coming back to me as I back off my emotions.
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excathedra
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ChattyKathy
I can take pages to say what you say in one line.
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excathedra
PERSONALLY apologize about TWI ? you SHOULD be locked up. what the he ll ?
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anothen
I said all I was supposed to say and I'll just draw the line right here.
I can see that many of you have unresolved issues that you need to work out before I am able to go any further.
I was not allowed to post here until after I came clean. I was wondering why, now I see.
I'll just close saying I don't have any hard feelings toward any of you. I really wish you all the best. This forum is a really good thing and I hope it stays alive.
goodbye, peace out.
ano
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excathedra
PERSONALLY apologize EVEN about veepee
ohmygod
i'm getting sicker by the second
oh NOW i get it
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ChattyKathy
All you were suppose to say?
What do our issues have to do with your issues?
You were not allowed to post here because of who?
I welcomed you and still feel everyman has the right to have their dignity restored but you said things that were red flags to folks here that have studied mental health professionally as well as those who have lived thru abuse and then us that have sought therapy also. I didn't throw you out with the trash dude. But I would like to see you reply to the ones that have asked honest questions.
But now you are leaving?
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excathedra
well i'm thankful he has no hard feelings
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ChattyKathy
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excathedra
i feel like i know who you are
oh crap
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ChattyKathy
You mean you may know who he is or who I am? :unsure:
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excathedra
i meant the fella who wants to heal me from veepee's sexual abuse
--
side note off topic
there was a wayfer ordained clergyman who asked another corps grad man if he ever got the desire for children
it's true
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ChattyKathy
Oh my goodness. I just can't see children as being sexual. My goodness.
I swear as each year goes by we have to take more and more of their innocence away just to keep them safe.
I can't imagine raising a child today, I just can't imagine what you parents have to face, how you have to teach them about the bad people out there.
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oenophile
Anothen,
You have certainly encountered the anger and scorn for which you say you had prepared yourself. It seems that some have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that opening their hearts is not tantamount opening their door and allowing you access to their young children alone. ( As a wine / beer wholesale rep, I have stacks of samples in my home. While it wouldn't be a good idea for me to take in an alcoholic room mate, I can have empathy and love for someone who has struggles with alcoholism.) I applaud your courage in your very public confessional. I am sorry that some have some here have taken it upon themselves to question your motives and would exact from you death by crucifixion as your proper penance. You have admitted your painful struggles with your desires that hold sway over you even though you have turned to the Scriptures and prayer to rid yourself of them.
I would encourage you not to assuage your conscience by minimizing the suffering of
those that you have wronged. Rather, you should take full ownership of your actions and the total damage (which you may only see the tip of the iceberg at present) that they caused. In owning up to our transgressions, we empty ourselves or pride and allow the only thing that trumps karma - grace to happen.
Perhaps it would be helpful if you could help us understand how you came to take sexual liberties with a minor. Were you abused as a child yourself? If so, could you share details as to how old you were when the abuse first occurred, what happened and how long did the abuse go on? Could you tell us when these desires came up in you? What triggers them now? Feel free to expand this discussion to whatever extent you think would be informative for us.
Some will listen and seek to understand. Some will throw stones.
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ChattyKathy
Excath,
Did you ever feel envy towards the other little girls that you knew had no understanding of your hell? I did. In fact I think it has something to do with why even now I prefer the company of men and have only just begun to give women the respect and honor they deserve, with a few friends I have outside of this forum who have provided me with faith in how women can be incredibly powerful and tender at the same time.
Okay so it was some
I realize.
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excathedra
i never really had a problem with girls or women and still don't
sorry
oene good post
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excathedra
i did want to emphasize how much Bri's thoughts mean to me
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ChattyKathy
I'm glad because that just compounded my head problems. I'm real glad you didn't go in that direction.
I think there have been some excellent posts on this thread, and some incredible hearts shown.
RG's story with the kids just makes me cry inside.
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Abigail
Yeah, I have unresolved issues. I will continue to have unresolved issues for as long as our legal system continues to allow pedophiles back out on the streets where they can continue to victimize more innocent children. Actually, I am suprised you are even allowed internet access, but only a little.
I also have unresolved issues toward pedophiles who blame children for being "sexually aggressive", who minimize the crime they committed and the hurt it may have caused. Your confession was laden with excuses - THAT is what I have issues with.
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excathedra
now i go back and read this part of what you said and i feel such sorrow
i'm sorry i'm very confused
but i do not hate you
nor do i hate my childhood relatives and not even veepee
peace out
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