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So ..how was it growing up with this stuff?


doojable
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I was wondering today - how was it to grow up in TWI? Did you ever become aware of the sexual indescretions? Were you taught a lot of double standards? Did the kids love the leaders or fear them? As teens were you taught that if you had sex abortion was an option?

I know there are lots of questions here - but it seems to me that the view of TWI foom your perspective is unique and spread out over the Cafe.

I'm hoping to get it all in one thread.

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Dooj,

this is a hard question to answer because, when you're a child you think as a child and when your a teenager you think like a brick. So how do you discern between twi and typical kid-parent-family relations?

yes abortion was an option, and as far a premarital sex we were told the Word is silent. No i was not aware of sexual indescretions. But cigarette smoking was due to devil spirit possesion.

My Dad's "talk" on sex to me was don't be homo, and don't bring an unbelieving wife into his house.

My folks came home from a Advanced Class once and threw some of my toys away because they had devil spirits.

We were taught to worship leadership (like everyone else) If I wanted to buy a car I first asked my parents and then I had to ask my fellowship coordinator.

Everyone, including Grandma, was not in twi and therefore you talk to them different. My parents love me more than other parents love their kids because my parents told me that Santa Clause is not real from the beginning. (in fact Santa and the easter bunny are devil spirits)

As I got into my later teens family and friends would ask if I was in a cult. I honestly didn't know what they were talking about.

When I got drunk I would tell my friends all about devil spirits and then speak in tonques for them. :biglaugh:

Like a lot of folks here who didn't grow up in twi, I was cheated of a education (for a number of confusing reasons)

Fellowship coordinators would sit me down and explain to me that I am better than every other kid at school. ?????? <_<

If I said some word my dad hadn't heard of (I don't mean profane), It probably had a devil spirit and it could not come in the house.

Well that's a few things.

Edited by Bolshevik
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Hey Bolshevik - take it slow..... breathe dollface :D

I'm sure you're going through a bunch of emotions thinking about all of this. I'm not wanting answers at the expense of your feelings.

If you have some good memories - post those as well. Like I said - the younger crowd has a unique perspective that we seniors don't have.

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Obey your parents in the Lord or the Devil will kill you.

no no, I wrote fast. I know others who thought the same as what I said up above too. Eph 6:1 is told to you so much that you begin to believe the converse of what is said is true. that's all. :rolleyes:

Edited by Bolshevik
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Basically, my parents are good people and were good parents. However, TWI sucked and was definitely a negative influence on my life. I would say that it slowed down some aspects of my social life and gave me a bit of a superiority complex that I still have trouble getting rid of (I was also in the top 10% of students in the nation for a while.)

Basically, as far as the sex part goes, I was heavily shielded from any of the indiscretions in TWI. I even doubt my parents knew about them, because they wouldn't have tolerated it as well. I remember the shock when LCM announced his problems, both my shock and that of my parents. Abortion was always something TWI said was ok, although in a vague way. It wasn't just my parents that really tried to keep me away from mingling with "unbeliever" girls. HFCs also did their part, even as an adult. In my early 20's I was once told in a group of other single guys that my HFC would come "rescue" us with a gun if we ever were in a relationship with an unbeliever woman. He wasn't completely serious, but nor was he completely joking.

I guess my whole experience went from not understanding it as being different as a little kid to early teen and finding it an embarrassing and shameful thing to becoming a fervent follower in my late teens, then spending a few years trying to find out how to get out of TWI and not be M&A from my family.

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If you have some good memories - post those as well. Like I said - the younger crowd has a unique perspective that we seniors don't have.

There was Ghostbusters. My brother and I could run around with our packs and clean up all dem debil spirits. (although we had a hard time thinking Slimer might be a bad guy)

Edited by Bolshevik
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Leprechons, tooth fairy, Skeletor and his castle Grayskull.

All devil spirits.

I was never allowed to own any He-Man toys, or anything else "supernatural." G.I. Joes were fine, and the Transformers were ok (they were robotic machines, not devil spirits.) That was no big deal. What was the big deal was the music that I wasn't allowed to listen to until I got older and LCM announced that he listened to Metallica and such.

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Dooj,

I have a little lighter take on it all. I loved the way. I loved the fellowships and the Rock. I hated children's fellowship though. I was glad when I was 12 and didn't have to go anymore. But the Children's fellowship coordinator liked us to be in the children's fellowship even at 12. We thought we were too old.

When I think of the crap in the world that I was saved from (teen sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.) It wasn't so bad being in the Way. When I started hating the Way was when I was an adult. Because I was expected to be something the leadership expected me to be not what I wanted to be. I guess that feeling really started in my late teens.

lol Maybe that's why I still act like a teenager lol.

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How did they explain that V.P. Wierwille chain smoked Kools?...or was that not known?

Don't know if they knew vp smoked. I alway notice paintings of G. Je$$ smoking a pipe. They were eventually corrected on the smoking devil spirits during one of my kid-parent-leadership reproof sessions.

I could go on though about how my folks had the "Good enough for the Way Corps, good enough for my kids" mentality. Therefore the final reason I couldn't smoke, for example, was because The Way Corps didn't. (not because its bad for you, because the WC don't.) This reasoning method used to get me so worked up.

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I'll have to do this in parts or I might go into emotional overload. I'll start from the beginning.

I was born in into the Way. My parents were twig leaders (I use this term because at the time I was a kid this was TWI terminology) in an oulying area. This area was their assignment on their 3rd WOW year together. They were looking to settle down and start some roots, so they just bought a house (this was before there was a no debt policy). The rest of their WOW family left after the year but they stayed to move the word and start a family.

Looking back, I really think being in an outlying area was my saving grace. The nearest Corp was a couple hours away and so we didn't deal with them on a weekly basis or anything.

When I was little I couldn't watch "Smurfs" because there was a wizard and the little blue mushroom peeps were like devil spirits, doncha know? My mom did eventually crack on the Smurf issue because I can remember watching it Saturday mornings when I got a bigger. My dad did not want us to watch "Mr. Rogers" because he seemed to homo. But at some point my dad heard a story about how Mr. Rogers gave a Way hitchiker a ride and he was a really decent guy. This changed his whole tune on Mr. Rogers. (Has anyone else heard about the hitchiking believer and Mr. Rogers?) I could not watch Scooby-Doo for the longest time. I finally explained to my mom that the ghosties were not real spirits but people dressed up pretending to be.

I remember a boy in my fellowship burning all his He-Man toys at burn the chaff.

I remember being aware of my parents deep love and respect for VPW. I was three when Reagan was running for office. I heard my parents talking about the election for Presidency and piped up, "Are you going to vote for Dr. Weirwille again?". They laughed and explained that Dr. Weirwille was the President of the ministry, but that the country probably would be a lot better off if he were President even though he would never want to be in that position because of his distaste for politics. It was something to that extent. I was only three at the time and can't remember word for word.

We lived in the deep South but my mom was determined we eat healthy. We would make our own granola and applesauce. It was great. She always involved me in her projects and was a very hands on mom. I remember her felt-boards and all the bible characters she would cut out and how she'd illustrate the stories for me.

When I was three I spoke in tongues for the first time. She was doing laundry and I was playing with my dolls. I had them all in a circle and started speaking in tongues. She seemed very surprised and urgently asked me what I was doing. I wasn't sure if I was in trouble or what. I told her that I was playing fellowship with my dolls. She was very excited and called her friends to share the news. I think she was so happy because she knew I was born again.

Fellowship was awesome for me when I was little. We were always having parties and eating together. Everyone hung out together and it really was like a big family. There really was genuine excitement and involvement at that point.

When I was four my cat had a litter of kittens and my uncle accidently stepped on one of them with boots on. The kitten could not move his back legs and had to drag himself around with the front legs. We took him to the vet who confirmed that his back was broken and he would have to be put down because his bowels were backing up and it would kill him. They brought it home and told me the bad news. My parents and I were leaving the next morning to visit my grandmother. My uncle was supposed to have it put down after we left. I begged my mom let it live, that God could heal it. After much persistence she said, "Fine, if it goes to the bathroom in the next fifteen minutes we'll let it live. If not, we can't commit it to a slow and painful death." I began praising God the best I knew how, asking him to heal my kitten. I was praising Him for creating the heavens and the earth and saying if He did all that I knew healing a little kitten would be no problem. I praised Him for raising Jesus Christ from the dead and that I knew he could heal my little kitten. The clock was ticking down but I just kept praying and praising. Let me tell you that that little kitty did a little kitty poo before my fifteen minutes were up. My parents were pretty amazed but lived up to their end of the bargain and assured me they wouldn't have it put down. When we returned from our trip (less than a week later) that kitten was running around with the rest of them like nothing had ever happened. I know some of you will doubt this story but that doesn't really matter. This is about me giving an account of what my experiences were growing up.

That's enough for one post. I'll have to pick it back up later.

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I'm looking forward to this story!! And, you bet your bippy (oops, i''m dating myself) I believe in miracles. Please continue, Through, I'll be waiting.

And I don't doubt your story for a minute. My kids did things like that, too. Kids that take God at his word are truly amazing!

We used get real irritated with light bulbs burning out. At about the same age, my daughter decided to start praying for the bulbs to keep working.

From the time she started praying, we didn't have a bulb burn out for almost 3 years!! Then one of her friends told her that was silly...she quit praying

for them...they all burned out within 2 weeks. True story!!

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Thanks so much Bolshevik and Through the Looking Glass. I know that this can be hard to tell - and you certainly do not have to post a thing - none of us will be the wiser.

I guess that I look at my own kids and I think about how I am raising them - piano, ballet, sports, etc. I can't imagine not giving them a well rounded life and a shot at more than I had growing up.

I'm sure you have war stories as well as fond memories from your childhoods. I guess I'm looking for the balance. We all have that mix - just that most of us didn't grow up with TWI in the mix.

The persepective actually helps me to empathize. I sure hope I'm making sense here.

Edited by doojable
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Thanks for the encouragement.

Family vacations were always to the ROA. I never saw the ocean until I was in my mid twenties because vacation always equaled the corn fields of Ohio! heheh. Well we actually did go to Family Camp in Gunnison once. The ROA was a really exciting time as a kid. The road trip there was an adventure in itself and by the time we finally arrived I was so excited. We always camped in the West Woods and got to see family and friends. Even though I had always wanted to go to Disney World I really can't complain about the ROA.

My parents were very supportive in any activity I wanted to get involved in. I took ballet, tap, and jazz. I also had swimming and voice lessons. I don't think TWI ever discouraged any of this. Maybe others have different experiences?

My '90/'91 school year (7th grade) I attended a small private Christian school. I had been home schooled in 6th grade and started 7th grade at the public middle school but it was to overwhelming. To make the transition easier my parents enrolled me in a small private school. This caused a HUGE ruckus in fellowship. For some reason a power struggle in the fellowship seemed to be developing. People were bad-mouthing my parents because they were letting their daughter attend school at a Baptist church that had three crosses on it's sign!!! They wanted to know why couldn't I just go to public school like their kids did? Now by no means were my parents well-off. My dad had a window cleaning business and traded out part of my tuition. That's the only way they could afford it. It wasn't like we had more money than the rest of the fellowship and were trying to show off or anything like that. Now looking back I am beginning to see that it was the folks in fellowship who were diligently getting the SNS tapes who seemed to be instigating a lot of this...

Anyway, the climate in our lovey-dovey little fellowship was beginning to change. As the twig coordinators' kid I began to feel the pressure of constant scrutiny. Maybe this is how preacher's kids feel and why they rebel. I just remember it getting harder and harder to go because of the growing legalistic scrutiny. I felt like they were just watching me and waiting for me to screw-up.

Now my teen years and experiences in TWI was anything but a pretty picture. It's going to be a hard story to share but I feel like I need to get it out. I'm just not quite ready.

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I spent most of my teen years in the Way. Being young, you never knew about all the sex stuff. All you knew was that your parents go to this church thing and so do you. As a younger kid, I enjoyed some of the teachings, but was always waiting for refreshments!!

I remember that in the 80's refreshments rocked at our twig. We had full on frickin' spreads!! It was sweet! But come Cold 90's with Craig at the lead, even the refreshments went away and when we did have them, they sucked.

I did enjoy taking the classes. I thought I was being taught the truth of God's Word from the MOG (brain-washed). What I hated was the next twig fellowship after a class happened because you knew it was going to be "go around the fuc*ing' room time" and everybody shares what blessed you about the class.

At 13, what the hell was I going to say? I didn't understand anything spiritually. Besides, I was too busy trying to think up what I was going to say if I got called on to speak in tongues and interpret. :biglaugh:

Lone Wolf McQuade

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Hey, no problem, Through. When you're ready, we're here to listen. Sometimes the healing comes in the telling. What's that old cliche? Confession is good for the soul.

Anyway, many of us have been there, as you are now. Just take your time...only you will know when you're ready.

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I have heard from some parents that it got harder and harder in the 90's to let their kids take part in various lessons because they had to attend fellowhip so many times a week.

Did anyone experience this? ( I got out in '89 and had my first child in '92 - hence my curiousity...)

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What I hated was the next twig fellowship after a class happened because you knew it was going to be "go around the fuc*ing' room time" and everybody shares what blessed you about the class.

:biglaugh:

I took PFAL at twelve. My sharing was that I was blessed to hear about Four Crucified. (which everyone knew I had already known) :biglaugh:

I really couldn't think of anything :blink:

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I have heard from some parents that it got harder and harder in the 90's to let their kids take part in various lessons because they had to attend fellowhip so many times a week.

Did anyone experience this? ( I got out in '89 and had my first child in '92 - hence my curiousity...)

Life centered around going to fellowship. It was weird, nothing else mattered. Not even what was done there or if I learned something, nothing. All that mattered is you went to fellowship and rarely missed.

.

.

.

.

Oh, did I mention the Athletes of the Spirit coloring book? He-Man toys were a conduit for the Adversary, but a coloring book of devil spirits was promoted?

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I have heard from some parents that it got harder and harder in the 90's to let their kids take part in various lessons because they had to attend fellowhip so many times a week.

Did anyone experience this? ( I got out in '89 and had my first child in '92 - hence my curiousity...)

All I know is that all those stupid PFAL and WAP classes during the week really screwed me up at school the next day. Not only did the classes already go late on school nights, there was often a loud-mouthed mini-MOG running the class that wanted to flap his gob too much afterwards. There would be nights I didn't get to bed until midnight or later sometimes.

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"flap his gob" :biglaugh:

I was five when some Way hippies came a knockin'. My older brother and I really liked the fellowship and we were the ones to convince my mom (single at the time) to go back. That SIT thing was sooo cool and we loved the singing...and the refreshments did rock in the 80's.

I think my experience is similar to Pmosh's. It is probably a lot like how experiences differ from one area with one leader to another, and the way it is from one family to another. If you had good loving caring parents, things probably were not that bad. I can't think of too many horrible things from my childhood. There are plenty of things though that my brothers and I can look back and laugh about. They are still involved in the Way too.

We did move a lot. I think I lived in 6 or 7 different cities, 4 states, and moved around 10 times within those cities, not including every in residence block move. There are pluses and minuses to moving so much. You don't have really old friends that stick with you over the years, but any bad stories about you that might linger when you live in one place your whole life are left with the city when you move. So you can kinda start over new with each move.

On the other hand being the new kid all the time meant getting in a lot of fights. But again, there was nothing that scarred me for life with those. Along with having an older brother it probably helped me learn how to defend myself.

I used to hear that line that Freeatlast said all the time and used it myself. "I'm so happy I was spared from worldly crap like drugs, sex, abuse, and rebellion." I am happy I didn't have any issues with that stuff, although I probably would have been a happier teen with a little more action in high school. :biglaugh: That being said, I don't neccessarily think this is just because we were in the Way or because we were Christians. I knew Way kids with drug and alcohol problems and we have all heard about the "teen orgies" at the Rock. lol Like I said, it probably had a lot to do with what your parents were like.

One plus that I see from it is the time spent with our family and the quality of that time. Granted it wasn't the quality time of personal love and attention neccessarily or building bonds on fun vacations, but it was time spent talking about morals and many times good biblical concepts that even now as a non-Christian I see great benefit to. Having dialog about things like love and humility and right and wrong is something that many families can't imagine.

On the flip side, most of that dialog was rather shallow. All of lifes problems had a simple biblical according-to-the-Way answer. So most conversations were light hearted and very rarely touching deep subjects or deep personal feelings. I can't think of any discussions about disagreements over anything in life unless it was correction, which really wasn't a conversation. (I'm talking more about as a teen. Obviously as a young kid I wasn't interested in anything of real depth.)

I left for college in 93. So most of my kid years were in the 80s, before legalism came out of the closet.

We lived for many years without a TV, something that I would still recommend.

We were also given quite a bit of freedom as teens. I think my younger bro had much shorter leash by the time he was a teen. That may have been from TWI part duh in the 90s and it may have been about the move to a bigger city and the change in society. I think part of it was LCM's rants on how this isn't Beaver Cleaver days anymore. That was probably good to a degree.

Premarrital sex was somewhat unclear, but I know I thought it was ok. The sex talk for us was VP's Christian Family and Sex class. Although, it wasn't really a problem since being a late bloomer had made me somewhat insecure with the ladies and I was more of an introvert. Later when LCM's class replaced CF&S it seemed I was suppose to get my parent's concent to have premarrital sex even though by that point I was in my twenties. Since we never really talked about it to begin with I wasn't going to get their OK at that point.

The distinction between sex being ok but "shacking up" or spending the night with someone wasn't ok was confusing to me as a young adult. I was actually confronted on that issue by my other parents...I mean fellowship coordinators. They were well meaning people, but it did seem that in my college years and twenties I had many people other than my parents trying to be my parents.

Really becoming an adult, going to college, and the control that was trying to be exerted over my life at that time made things suck much more. Although, at the time I wouldn't have admitted to any degree of suckage. As kid though, it wasn't all that bad.

Somehow I came out of it as a pretty decent person. I think. :evildenk:

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