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TWI'S Anger Management Program


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Anger Management 201 (Learning is an Exciting Adventure)

1. Name your spirits and find them in people and most objects.

2. Refer to those who won’t take the class as “empties floating by.” (Be sure to tell them that).

3. Use Greek words constantly and look down on those who don’t.

4. For those who question your authority, just say, “I wish you could see it in the original.” Then laugh smugly about your secret knowledge.

5. Claim to receive revelation all the time, make stuff up, and say it’s from God (give me your money).

6. Get a green bumper sticker that says, “God likes me best.”

7. Remember you’re not in a cult, it’s everyone else.

8. Require everyone around you to work hard for you and pay you for the privilege.

9. Wear skinny ties and find a large forehead of your very own.

10. Tell everyone you’ve got the way, the truth, and a light (carry a map, books written by others, and a book of matches).

11. Give extreme attention to the minute and ignore major things (aka straining at gnats).

12. Tell everyone you have 2000 yr. old knowledge no one else wants.

Congratulations, you now get another piece of paper and a different name tag (this will impress others). You can now employ advanced witnessing techniques. Borrow T-bone’s Halloween decorations and sing “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow” at the Mall. Confront everyone with your words. Pretend YOU’RE the one that’s normal.

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Anger Management 201 (Learning is an Exciting Adventure)

5. Claim to receive revelation all the time, make stuff up, and say it’s from God (give me your money).

5 (a)When someone else gets revelation, tell them they're wrong and make them clean something instead.

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