dental questions

[Rocky]

My son called back. She was at day care; the grandson had thrown mulch at one of the other parents and is in deep trouble. Another nail in his coffin. I am sure she and her mother will have him drugged within an inch of his life as soon as they find a doctor with less integrity. She told my son she "is going to" get him put on her insurance. she will call him back. I told him what NOT to tell her, namely that I am getting a job to help pay for this dental work, or that I would am extremely angry. I want him to ask her what progress has she made? Has she asked her boss (who runs the ice cream stand downstairs from her apt. and NOT hard to get ahold of. Does she have them and hasn't filled them out? Has she filled them out and is waiting to hear? I doubt she has even asked for them. It would be so much easier to let him get an abcess later than spend ten minutes filling out the f-ing forms now. He's in pain, he's not eating well.

I just don't know what to do. I am so amazed. I worked full time most of the time my son was growing up. I traveled to and from work, came home, cooked home cooked meals, cleaned the house and had time for twig. She works part time, her apartment is messy, and she eats fast food most of the time. And she doesn't have time to see to her son's dental care?

GIVE ME A BREAK!

WG

Though I don't have grandchildren (my daughter's only 17... and even that for only 3 more months), I relate to your concern from several angles. I've seen my brother's kids grow up without enough care (my brother died when he was 36 and his daughter was 14 and son 8) AND I had lots of frustration with my ex-wife, even before we separated/divorced. I expressed concern to her one day when my then almost-a-toddler daughter was playing with pots and pans in the kitchen. That alone is no problem and very reasonable for kids to do. But at the time my daughter was playing at the base of the stove (sitting on the floor), her mother was on the phone, was cooking with a large pot of boiling something or other (I forget what, could have been sauce, stew, pasta, etc.) and stirring that boiling pot with one hand... again, all while Amy was playing directly beneath all of this hot stove action. I practically panicked.

After separation (joint custody from Amy's age 4-13), my daughter was ALWAYS overtired/sleep deprived at school and on weekends when she was with her mother. Not to mention poorly behaved (from reports of both relatives and non-relatives who had contact during those times) whenever in her mother's "care."

Pretty much until she became a teenager (turning 13), she always was well rested and peacefully content at my house. Because she had clear expectations and reliable structure to her life with me.

However, once she turned 13, the stuff hit the fan and splattered ALL over the place... figuratively speaking.

I won't bore you with the details, but your concerns are very real in my view, and most reasonable. At the same time, I clearly understand the difficulty in communicating with one such as FDIL...

So, you have my empathy, my best wishes and prayers. But without question, make it a priority to have a GOOD relationship with the G A L. Because if she's not with you, she could have a difficult time giving much serious consideration to your concerns.

I know THIS because I had to deal with a G A L who, along with the judge, I believe was on the take and being bribed by local mormon church officials on my ex-wife's behalf... and most assuredly to the detriment of my daughter.

Edited August 3, 2007 by Rocky

[Watered Garden]

An update:

The FDIL allegedly sent in the forms about 1 1/2 weeks ago. She doesn't know what the premium will cost her. I do not think it will be much. If I agree to help her pay for it, I am going to ask for proof of the payment amount.

In the interim, since the young lad can't speak clearly at all, a dear lady at our church had gone to the trouble of finding information on a free service in her county called Child Check that will test for speech and hearing, etc. She received and sent in the information fairly promptly and has received information on testing times and places. Of course she opted for the one that is in January 08 not November 07. He will start kindergarten in 9/08. I explained to her that my husband (master's degree, 7 years teaching experience, very smart guy) believes that his frustrationg in his inability to communicate is responsible for a good bit of his acting out, and that I would be happy to take him if I could get a date from her and she could set him up for November. There will be a waiting list for speech therapy, but she doesn't seem to be too concerned. Even as she was explaining all this, he told her something, three times, and her response was "I can't understand a word you're saying!" I think this makes him feel stupid.

I really can't understand why a loving God would give a selfish little witch like hers such a wonderful child, and so many of us understand treatments and surgeries and remained childless.

My son has been trying to get ahold of the G.A.L. without success. I think it would be better for him to talk to her than me, since he would be a concerned parent, rather than a nosy grandmother.

Please keep the prayers coming. I have some stuff Shellon sent me to print off if we ever get a printer, on how dangerous dental neglect is for little ones.

WG

[waysider]

I don't have any sage advice but I still remember how to pray.