Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

The Perpetual Optimist


Brushstroke
 Share

Recommended Posts

This is a short story I wrote a few months back, and I want to know what everyone thinks. I have a collection of my work that I'm going to try and get published. I think I'll first try at self-publishing on www.lulu.com, and then go to an actual publishing company if that works out.

Well anyway...here it is. I'm going to post it in parts -- the parts that the story was originally divided into.

The Perpetual Optimist

Part I: Poes

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

- Oscar Wilde

“Rain…unrelenting, endless rain” thought Adam despairingly, as he gazed outside in the dismal twilight. It had been raining now for 84 days straight. He almost longed for snow. At least snow didn’t make that dreadful noise. It hadn’t snowed in Chicago for almost six years now. He took his eyes away from the window a bit, partly to look in the mirror, and partly to get a chance to look at his bright room, so he could accurately envision Eden3Alpha, the miracle planet three light years from Earth. A planet full of sunshine and beautiful beaches, his next home.

Adam Poe and his wife were still reeling from the fact that they were two of the 36 people chosen to settle in the new colony. For the last three years, the government of the Supreme Continent has been sending people there to settle and colonize the planet. But something about the whole thing bothered Adam. Once there, no one ever wanted to come back to Earth. Combined with the fact that it took almost nine months to get there, even using the Vigor Drive, shooting the capsule into space at over 1.2 million kilometers per second. Or the fact that the Vigor Drive didn’t activate until it reached Ophelia, one of the 18 moons of Uranus, adding at least 30 days of “wake travel.” Or even the fact that the company that ran the whole operation had some very questionable records. Starco Inc. was the first company to send civilians into space that required a month or more of cryosleep…and the first company to lose two ships in a row, and over 300 souls, in the cold blackness of space. But the fact was that the planet was truly as close to paradise as humanly possible; and this was their only chance to live the life of a dream.

He forced himself to look into the mirror. Adam was a rather tall man, about 6’2”, with short, dirty blonde-almost brown hair and bluish-green eyes; fair skin and a pretty well built figure. He still could not believe that there were no traces of the scars on his forehead from the treatment. He looked closer, just to make sure that he was not seeing things…

Seeing only what he wanted to believe.

Genetics had made some incredible leaps since 2124, almost 60 years ago. But he still had to be treated with powerful drugs, to make him normal. “Normal,” he grinned, half sarcastically, half with genuine joy. All his life he wanted to be normal, and now that he was, he had doubts. He knew medicine was not perfect…there was no perfection…only nature was perfect; the kind of nature that kept Adam going. All he could think about was the impending honeymoon on Eden3Alpha - perhaps the only thing that kept him sane.

“Honey,” came a female voice. “Honey, you up there? Dinner is ready.”

“Ahh the sweet shrill of my sweetie,” Adam thought smiling…”sweet shrill”…he laughed aloud at the contradiction, realizing that his subconscious probably crammed the term into his mind. “Everything ends…every love, every perfection, every…” His thoughts were interrupted by another, a bit more impatient, call by his wife, “Honeeey, you coming?”

“Oh yeah…hey Eve, what are we eating tonight?”

“Felixicous…with your favorite sauce.”

“Ymmmm”, he cried out. “Be right down”. Yuckkkk is what he meant. Felixicous…just another word for scrambled cats. Adam didn’t mind helping the world food shortage by eating anything that the human body can endure…but only if he knew what parts of the cat he was eating. And only if his wife knew why the sauce was his favorite. The sauce was the only reasonable way he could swallow the food.

“There you are,” came a voice from behind Adam. He found himself looking at a half decent, 5’7”, 135 pounds of a very kind person. She had long brown hair and a very voluptuous body. She was 33, but looked more like 36...so Adam thought. But he still found her to be extremely attractive. Perhaps it was her undying faith in everything he did, or the fact that she never even mentioned his genetic deficiency. “What’s wrong Addy?” she said in a loving way as she reached out to touch his head, as if he were a small pet. Not that there were any pets…everything had to be eaten…the law demanded it.

“Just thinking,” responded Adam.

“You think too much,” Eve said sardonically.

“About the trip, I was just thinking…”

Eve knew the drill. “Okay, what about the trip? Addy you take the most beautiful thing and turn it into some kind of an internal thinking war. This is the chance of a lifetime! Can you imagine a better honeymoon, then a new beginning? For our lives…for our future…what can possibly be troubling you about this?”

“You never wondered…wondered about the people,”Adam chose his words carefully. “I mean, nobody has ever come back to Earth.”

“That could be the biggest reason to go there Addy!” Eve said impatiently. “Why in the world would you want to go back to Earth, where everybody is trying to get out?”

“The perpetual optimist,” Adam thought. But that comes easy, when you can dream - think like a normal human being - to immerse oneself into an alternate reality, a substitution of reality. Or call it daydreaming, or planning, or even imagining - if you will. But to be able to do it consciously, and be able to ascend out of it, by nothing more than the power of ones will. It was different for Adam.

His immersion into the alternative reality was quite against his will.

It all started, when he was 21 -- twelve years ago. On certain sleepy nights, an eerie feeling of disquiet would envelop him. And seconds later, he would hear a clear voice…just a plain voice, as if the person was speaking inches from his ears. Words like, “the work is done,” or “take this over there.” Mundane, dull, and ordinary words…

Words from nothingness, which meant nothing.

As the years followed, the voices turned to visions. They would appear suddenly. He would have just closed his eyes, and the person would be standing in front of him, as clear as day. Just a person…no monster, no fiend, no ogre…just an ordinary person. He could never make out who the person was, or even the sex of the person…just a person. There was something very lonely about this. But even these aberrations were tolerable. Then one day, all hell broke loose for Adam. For the first time in his life, he saw the visions…and he heard the voices in the middle of the day…while he was wide awake!

These anomalies were attributed to a faulty gene, which adversely affected his cognitive function. It was a sporadic form of genetic fault, the kind that would not show up as a strong genetic link of the forefathers. But this also suggested that there was a high probability that the environmental factors may play a big part in his defect. His condition was well under control, first with genetic therapies, treatments that actually rewrote fragments of genetic code in his cells, and second with the help of viral drugs.

This is the part that bothered Adam the most: he was a perfectionist. The kind that knew exactly what shirt best complemented his tie, and who tried to match the clothes in his closet by color sequence, and who would try to align a television perfectly parallel to a wall, and who also even had to have his plate at the dinner table in perfect symmetry with his body as he was eating. He knew that there was no perfection, but the underlying and uncompromising pursuit of perfection drove him. And taking the drug for the rest of his life dampened the ultimate ache for perfection, because the viral drugs seep through the human immune system, straight into the blood stream, which made him imperfect.

He would never let anyone know about the drugs. Not even Eve.

“And besides,” Eve continued, “you were the one who was so excited just an hour ago that you couldn’t stop talking about it.”

“True,” Adam mused.

“Make a deal with you okay?” Eve talked away, seemingly without stopping for a breath. “You stop thinking, and I will stop talking.”

“Deal,” Adam lied through his teeth. He knew that the opportunity they had was priceless, billions of people would give up their lives to have their children grow up on a ‘first world’ planet: a planet where the humans have a second chance to design the infrastructure for a better humanity. But he could not stop wondering if his forefathers had essentially the same thoughts, when they set foot on the Americas. He could not stop thinking…

He could not stop the feeling of dread.

To be continued...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Part II: Trip

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”

- Albert Einstein

The Vigor ship was a disappointment. Adam had imagined a huge state-of-the-art arena, with an abundance of every conceivable high-tech gadget. At least that’s what it looked like in the pictures. The biggest irritation for Adam was when his expectations didn’t meet his reality. The ship had a very nice interior, small as it was, with shiny white walls, brown leather seats and nice cleaning facilities in the back, but overall, it was very plain.

The 30 days ‘wake time’ was horrible. The existence in the cramped corridors and the sleeping, coupled with the stinginess of windows, sent Adam into a claustrophobic rage. He wasn’t the only one. After the first few days or so of congeniality, the closeness with the rest of the passengers and crew was annoying at best. But it was either their faces, or the darkness outside. There were no bright shining stars, no breathtaking views of the planets, not even a stray comet making its gleaming trail. Being put to cryosleep was a blessing.

Cold…utter, absolute, unqualified cold. That’s all he felt. Adam tried to open his eyes in panic, but felt that something or someone was preventing it. He tried to jerk his arms up as a defense mechanism, but he could not move them. A wave of extreme terror swept over him. Then the cold faded…he faded…the next thing he remembered was much more pleasant.

Part III: Eden3Alpha

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

- Arthur Schopenhauer

Bright lights made him squint. At first, he thought he was looking directly in at a light bulb being held close to him. Light didn’t equate to sunshine with Adam. He hadn’t seen the sun for months, even on Earth. When he realized that it was natural light, for the first time, he felt euphoric. The three suns of Eden3Alpha were directly staring him in the face. The warmth was irrefutable, even through the strict climate exclusion system of the ship.

Adam looked around, still a little hazy from the long sleep. All the bed units were empty. He heard his name, and with some relief he spun around to see Eve. It knocked his socks off. He did not remember her looking so stunning. Her cheeks, her hair, her neck, her face, her eyes, her ears, even her ear lobes, were as if they were made to order. He saw perfection.

“Oh my goodness…” he was almost gasping as he spoke, just realizing that his vocal chords will need a few hours to reacquaint. He tore off his glance from his wife, and took a quick look around. Everything, from the walls of the ship to the tiniest bend on his bed sheet, looked dramatically beautiful. It was as if the light of Eden3Alpha was wholly pure in nature. There was something flawless in the air.

“You are the last one up sleepy head,” exclaimed Eve playfully. “Everybody has been up for at least a week.”

“Is…is everything as fine looking as you?” Adam whispered smilingly in almost a horse undertone.

“Usually I would be jealous by that,” smirked Eve. And then with a wide eye wondered look said, “but yeah…everything just looks so perfect!”

Adam slowly got up with the aid of support erectors. In a few minutes, he would be able to walk on his own. The light still bothered him. The brightness of the light was not diminishing. “Hey Eve,” he called out, ”is it just my eyes adapting to the light, or is it really bright in here?”

“Reeeealllll brrrrrright” she said good-naturedly. She stopped for a moment and picked up something from the floor, he couldn’t see what…he made a mental note to ask her about it later.

Adam stepped down from the ship, and felt the solid yet very comfortable ground. The kind of feel you get when you are inside a cavern, where the soil is protected by the harshness of nature for thousands of years. The dirt was almost red and it had a very calming effect. “Maybe the nine months of sleep did me good” remarked Adam sincerely. “I mean, I haven’t even brushed my teeth and I feel like a million bucks!”

From the corner of his eyes, he saw her pick up something from the ground again.

“Yeah, I know what you mean Addy,” Eve responded. She was standing with her arms stretched, as if she was about to pick up something big and bulky. “That’s exactly how I felt. Come to think of it, everyone in the group commented on that.”

She picked up something from the ground again.

She spun around and directly looked into his eyes. “Addy…Addy…is this heaven or what?” She kept spinning. “Addy, you won’t believe the ocean - the bluest water. You won’t believe the weather - the purest wind. You won’t believe the garden - the sweetest smells. The prettiest birds, the tastiest foods, the kindest people, Addy…Addy…is this heaven or what?”

She picked up something from the ground again.

Adam wanted to say something. He opened his mouth. Perhaps it was the aftereffects of the cryosleep, but nothing came out. Or perhaps it was the shock of the perfection of nature and humanity here; still nothing came out of his mouth. Not a peep, not a sound; not even a heavy breath.

Something felt very wrong.

He felt as if he was in a movie. A beautiful maiden spinning in circles around him, prattling Shakespeare-like phrases; an enchanting planet, filled with a smorgasbord of delightful amenities…

He felt the ground again. Something felt very strange. He was wearing slippers, but they felt heavy. He recalled the specs of the planet. .93 Gs. His feet should feel lighter, not heavier. He felt heavier, as if he was wearing twice as many clothes. He looked at Eve again. “Now that is strange” he thought. He could have sworn she was wearing a beautiful pink summer dress. He remembered thinking how absolutely perfect the setting had been. But now she had on thick, drab overalls. His head started to spin. Then with a sinking heart he realized that the drugs may not be effective here. He quickly started to think of an excuse to head back to the ship, so he can replenish his system with the treatment.

He was near panic. The drugs should have lasted at least a few more months. He forced himself to look up, hoping the sight of his wife might provide some reprieve from his predicament. What he saw stunned him. He stood there with his mouth open, struggling to breathe, as if he were a fish out of water. He could hear nothing, except the faint sound of Eve screaming, “Something is wrong with my husband, please somebody help!” He felt people around him. He felt them, but he could not see them. But what he saw kept his mind from processing anything else.

There was no bright sunshine. There was no sparkling seaside. There were no happy people prancing around. There was no wind, no birds, no trees, and no mouth-watering food.

He shakily looked down. He was wearing heavy boots. He felt himself around his chest. He was wearing a jacket made for the arctic. As he moved around, he noticed lights dancing around him. The origin of the light seemed to be coming from his head! He touched his head. He had a helmet on, the kind that coal miners wear.

And it was cold…it was very cold.

Now he could see people all around him. “Were they there before?” he found himself thinking. Everyone was dressed in either drab gray overalls, or wearing heavy gray jackets…as if working in mines. He found the strength to look around. He was in a cave!

Part IV: Sights

“Maybe this world is another planet’s Hell.”

- Aldous Huxley

The scene that met him was so unreal that he was sure that he was still in his cryosleep in the ship. Everyone was working at some manual task. The weaker humans were picking up what looked like small rocks and depositing the collection in a central location. While the stronger ones were using some kind of a tool, something like a heavy-duty hammer, to break down the walls of these caves. Or perhaps they were just loosening the rock-like substance for collection.

“Addy…honey…say something” came a concerned voice from his right. He composed himself swiftly. He knew this was no delusion. This was very real. He had no clue as to the reasons behind this experience, but knew this was real. A different planet or not, his hallucinations were never this authentic. This was real.

“I am fine” Adam responded, realizing the absurdity of the reality that he was presumably the only one in his right mind. How ironic he deliberated, on Earth he was never sure of his sanity and judgment, and now millions of miles from home, he was sure he was the most sane person here. How ironic. ”Listen, I know this sounds like a strange question…but what are you picking up?”

“Flowers” she said, looking at him as if not quite believing that he just asked her an obvious question like that. “What did you think they were Addy?”

“No,” Adam said, trying to search for words to cover himself. “I meant what kind of flowers. And where are you putting them?”

“In the basket Adam,” she said almost coldly. He noticed that she used his formal name. That was always trouble; the kind that only a box of Godiva chocolates could solve. He was relieved the fact that she was more confused than angry. And why wouldn’t she be? He was asking wild questions, instead of trying to enjoy this ‘Eden’ with her.

He had a sudden urge to cry out to her, to scream the truth to her. To ask her to look around and become conscious of the fact that she was in a cave, not in the open fresh air. That she was picking some awful rocks, not lovely flowers. That there was something horribly wrong here, and he was scared out of his mind. But he knew he couldn’t. No matter how much Eve loved him, no matter how much she respected him, the natural reaction would be to consider the agonizing truth that Adam was relapsing to his former self. That somehow the genetic treatment and the drugs never worked…and that was one reaction that he was not prepared to accept.

What frightened him more than anything was the cause of it all. Was it natural? Had everybody gone mad? Was it a naturally occurring thing on Eden3Alpha? That didn’t seem probable. Not everyone could be affected in the same manner. The alternative was even more terrifying. That someone…or something was responsible for this quandary. “But why? But why? But why?” he kept asking himself.

The why bothered him more than the how.

To be continued...

Edited by Brushstroke
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Part V: Truth

“Though it makes the unskillful laugh, it cannot but make the judicious grieve.”

- Shakespeare

Adam was fiercely contemplating his next move. He appreciated the fact that he was scared; nevertheless, he was thankful for the fact he was thinking clearly. “Not clear enough” he thought disappointingly. “What next” he wondered desperately. “I need to talk to somebody, who is normal.”

“So, Adam…how do you like our planet?” came a voice from behind, as if answering his thoughts. For a second, he actually wondered if he said his words aloud.

“Your planet?” Adam asked, without meaning to sound as if he was questioning some kind of authority.

“And how are you Eve?” he asked, turning to Eve, and discounting Adam’s comment. He lightly touched her upper arm and said, “Will you go to your quarters Eve, while I acquaint your husband with our planet?”

“Sure Redael” Eve answered obediently. And without even a glance toward Adam, she calmly walked away into the deep darkness of the cave.

Redael was a very thin man of about 90, without any eyebrows. He had long, curly, bright white hair that went down almost to his waist. He was as pale as a ghost, and tall enough to intimidate anyone who came across him. Adam looked closer…the old man had big brown eyes.

He looked kind enough to trust…and sane enough to believe.

“Your planet?” Adam repeated.

“No son” he said most kindly, “I said our planet. This is your new home Adam,” he said with a slight rasp in his voice. He had a soothing smile; the kind that puts you at ease in a dentist’s chair.

A million things started going through Adam’s mind. He could make a run…hide somewhere. He could conceivably stow away on a transport to earth. “What about Eve?” he thought soberly. “There will be others” he concluded sincerely. “There are always others.” Or he could start shouting out the truth, whatever it is…but who would ever believe him? Especially if they find out about his past.

But more than anything, he needed to know. He wanted to understand.

“I say our planet” continued Redael, “because you…all of you will work toward the future of mankind.” He smoothed out his phonation even further. “Adam, we are building an infrastructure here. Something which generations of humans will make use of.”

“I have…questions” replied Adam meekly.

“I know” replied Redael patiently. “I will answer all your questions Adam. But I want to make it very clear that once I have extended that courtesy to you, you will join the others…” Before waiting for Adam to protest or ask any questions, Redael continued. “First of all Adam, you are not on the planet you think you are on.”

“Not on Eden3Alpha?”

“No, I mean not on the planet you think you are on. The paradise planet in your visions is the sister planet about 300,000 kilometers from here, called Daau-Lat. Adam, Daau-Lat is the last hope for humanity. In about twenty years, we shall start transporting human colonies to Daau-Lat to relieve the population and resource problems on Earth.”

“Then what the hell are we doing here?”

“Daau-Lat does not have any of its own resources; particularly the mineral deposits needed for humans, like chromium, calcium, fluorine - the stuff that we can’t possibly haul from Earth all the way to Daau-Lat. In the next 20 years, you and your comrades will mine enough resources that will last several lifetimes on Daau-Lat.

“What gives you the right to drag me and my family here to slave?!” exploded Adam. He realized that his whole body was shaking. He didn’t want Redael to see that. He tried to sit down, but his anxiety was overwhelming him. He decided to speedily pace instead. As soon as he took the first step, half a dozen fulminating men appeared from nowhere. They made it very clear that Adam was not going anywhere. The power and the apparent government ties of Redael’s organization became obvious to Adam as he studied their uniforms. They were covered entirely in burgundy jumpsuits, made with the very expensive, and very unavailable mono-thermal material, blending in with the walls of the cave. Each was carrying the latest hardware money can buy, the M96 sub-machine guns. Adam was both impressed and intimidated.

“Adam…you have to understand that you are the very first case that is even questioning us. I am very sorry that I don’t have the answers that you want to hear. The scope and purpose of this mission is higher than all of us combined. What you do here, will benefit billions of people for thousands of years. Can you understand the scope of this undertaking? Just one person can effect billions of people. And consider their generations…can you imagine it?”

“You are asking for an undeliverable sacrifice” mumbled Adam.

“Adam, the only reason I am even explaining the circumstances to you is out of the respect of what you are about to do. You only have one choice Adam…” Redael paused dramatically, then very slowly added, “we will re-deliver treatment to you, so you may join the mining team.”

“You want me to submerge myself into some outlandish reality that you created? And want me to live my life in that?” Adam’s voice was now trembling also. He felt helpless…vulnerable…susceptible to a nightmare.

“No no no Adam,” said Redael in a gentle but superior resonance. “Nobody is changing your reality. There is but one reality…only one truth…the reality of our existence in this universe…the only thing I am changing for you is your perception of that reality.”

“You are imposing your perception on me” Adam retorted fiercely.

“I am compelling you to accept the perception that is for the greater good.”

“Greater good is relative Redael. Some might call your termination a greater good, relative to you being only one, and us, the workers, in thousands…”

“Adam…it’s clear that you can’t even conceive the one great reality that we all serve. We are of no significance. We are just matter with souls.

“It’s easy for you to clatter on about some super existential theories, while we rot for decades.”

“While you enjoy the life of your dreams…” his voice started to rise, “I will suffer for my lifetime…forever enduring the pain of seeing the reality through my eyes…”

“Redael…listen…” Adam didn’t finish his sentence. He felt a prick on his neck. He suddenly realized with horror that one of Redael’s men had just administered the ‘treatment’ to him. “No no no” cried Adam, trying to shake off the fast acting drug. “No no no!” Adam was now shaking from side to side uncontrollably. “No no no” was all Adam could say.

Faintly he heard the voice of Redael, “Remember son - there is, and always will be, only one true reality.”

---------------

Six months had gone by. Adam could not believe his luck. Just a year ago, he was almost broke and could not bear to see another dawn. Now, he had everything he could conceive. A devoted circle of friends, bountiful and delicious food, lavish amenities, brilliant sunshine…although the last few months, he had felt the euphoric qualities of the almost unreal sunshine somewhat diminishing. But he dismissed that as his imagination, just like he did with the reducing taste of his food.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard something his mother used to tell him…”Be careful what you wish for…it just might come true…for a while…”

The End

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Six months had gone by. Adam could not believe his luck. Just a year ago, he was almost broke and could not bear to see another dawn. Now, he had everything he could conceive. A devoted circle of friends, bountiful and delicious food, lavish amenities, brilliant sunshine…although the last few months, he had felt the euphoric qualities of the almost unreal sunshine somewhat diminishing. But he dismissed that as his imagination, just like he did with the reducing taste of his food.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard something his mother used to tell him…”Be careful what you wish for…it just might come true…for a while…”

That last line (that I bolded) ---- reminded me of Wasway, and an emoticon he used.

32 degree Mason, and former protector of ----- >>> THE

Might seem to *hit home* a bit, eh?

ship.gif

dance.gifdance.gifdance.gifdance.gif

Edited by dmiller
Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey Brush-

I thoroughly enjoyed your writing. It was thought provoking and an easy read. The story-line in it can be applied to many topics from politics, personal life trials, TWI and on and on. I am not qualified to critique it other than to say I think you should followup on getting your stories out there. There are a few folks here who have written things and had them published, and I am bumping this up to the top in hopes a few of them might see it and offer some advice.

~HAP

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I enjoyed that, Phil.

It reminded me how, as a young man, I spent many a dismal, rainsoaked Saturday lost in the pages of Theodore Sturgeon, Isaac Asimov and Aldous Huxley.

It's funny that you say that. Asimov and Huxley were big influences for me in this story.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...