Things i hate about way fellowships

[finallyunderstand]

My wife knows how I feel to a certain degree and is waiting for me to

have trust and confidence in the leadership and the way again.

She thinks I will wake up one day.

Other family is clueless.

Do not want to give to many details WGB and all

copenhagen

Dear Copenhagen,

For a very long time, I was in the same position that you are now in. I hope you don't mind if I share some things with you.

You may actually be in an unique situation where you can resolve things peacefully. Have a graceful exit. Maybe you could start by cutting back on the times you go. (Only once a week for a while then only once every other week for a while, then fade out.)

The reason I say this is because of your children. You could teach them that not everyone has the same beliefs, but that we can agree to disagree without hard feelings. Explain to them that many families have different religions within a family but they are still loving and kind to each other.

One day your children may want to stop being a part of the twi. Wouldn't it be nice if they could avoid going through what you have? What if they move somewhere where the leadership is tyranical and they spend years of their young adult life being traumatized and confused? They should know that it's OK to leave any situation that isn't right for them.

When asked why you are not going anymore, just graciously say that it is no longer for you. But you respect their choice to continue and hope that they will respect yours. Don't get into any long debates or arguments. Don't put anyone down. You may have to endure some of your family freaking out, but hang in there and be as loving toward them as you possibly can. When you see the other people from twi be polite and friendly.

This will do more for your kids then if you finally explode and turn their world upside down by saying things about people they love. Like in a divorce, where one parent rants and raves about the other parent. It always ends up backfiring somehow. If not right away, then later when they grow up and figure it out. The grown adult child will usually not appreciate the parent who tried to poison them against the other parent.

They also may be angry to find out later that you promoted something to them that was making your own life miserable.

Hopefully your wife and you will be able to come to an agreement that you will never disparage each other to the children no matter what your "religious" beliefs are.

Families can be overwhelming anyway. Maybe you can connect with people who were finally brave enough to leave the family religion or the family business. Those two things are notoriously difficult for people to do.

I know a former unhappy construction worker who is now an imensely happy computer programmer since he finally left the family business. The family was eventually OK with it all.

I also know someone who was raised in the twi by her Mother. Her Father wanted nothing to do with it. While she was growing up, she was told by twi people that she didn't have to obey her Dad because he wasn't in the word. (He was actually already a Christian) She was also very hard on her Dad at times and kept trying to win him over. He was always kind and never trashed anyone. He just loved her and took care of her but continued to do his own thing.

She is now a grown adult who has chosen to no longer be a part of twi. She sees now how terrific her Dad had always been and how ridiculous life in twi was. They have a beautiful and close relationship. Her parents are still married, happily and her Mom is no longer so zealous. For a while she was mad at her Mom for all of it, but they are OK now.

If you need to vent, vent to us here at Grease spot. You have some great posts and great advice to give to people who want it.

I hope I haven't offended you with this very long post full of my opinions, I realize we don't know each other.

It's just that, like I said I was in your same position for a very long time. I have family members, including my spouse who still attend twi fellowships. What I have just shared with you is what worked for me. Because of my family, I needed to leave graciously on my part.

I made the break slowly so my spouse could get used to the idea. My spouse now is able to respect and support my decision as are other family members and my children. My marriage is stronger than ever, because I'm happier.

I'm friendly with the twi people, but they no longer have the hold on me that they used to. They don't say anything bad about me (my spouse wouldn't allow it anyway). I've forgiven them for the things they did and I think they have forgiven me for the things I did. But I don't spend much with them. I am so glad to have other friends.

This transition didn't happen over night and you will need to do it when you are ready and in a way that works for you.

But it was worth it. I'm so much happier and much more free than I ever have been. I still love God and I'm still a Christian. I actually help people more now than when I was with twi. I just do it because I can and I want to. I no longer have the pressure of selling twi to them.

So again, I hope I haven't offended you and I won't keep sending you these super long posts. I just really wanted to tell you all of this in case it helps you someday.

Thanks,

Fin

[frank123lol]

Shame on you, Frank.

Didn't you take any notes in your Pyramid Schemes 101 class?

Yeah,I took notes,I like the rest became a master salesman,selling twi,twhy,

too the max,I hated fellowships where,when,no on e came,we went out door to door witnessing.

I hate the word, "witnessing"promoting twhy,why come to fellowship,we have the answers.......

[Nottawayfer]

Just wonderinig...

If there were a Sunday morning service that was a really good and uplifting time, with genuine, heart-felt praise and prayer, and good, solid, interesting teaching, would it be enough to overcome the desire to sleep in?

For me, yes. I found a great church which excited me to get up on Sunday mornings. By the time I left TWI, I was in a major funk. I LOATHED going to fellowship at that time. I tried offshoot fellowships when I first left, and they made me sick too. I just needed to get away from anything related to TWI.

[coolchef]

fin what great advice

[excathedra]

dear finally, i also agree with you

--

copenhagen, you're in my thoughts as is your family

hang in there, you

[waterbuffalo]

(((((Copenhagen)))))

I cannot physically sing the songs.

Those same ole songs sung over and over were, imo, a brainwashing tool.

Reminds me of the parts of PFAL when vp kept repeating the same things over and over. I hated that the first time I sat throught it. Then, found out later, that's a brainwashing technique.

[Nero]

Sundays were a pain but I hated the nights. Mostly because they were during school nights and the teachers had absolutely no compassion for those of us who had to wake up at 6 AM or earlier. They just droned on with the same freaking 2-3 hour long fellowships that once went on to 10:30 or 11:00 and we had to drive home afterwards. Ugh.

I agree with everyone about having the same teaching over and over. Boring. It was hard being a kid - then teenager trying to pretend like it was interesting because you just knew if you didn't your parents and you were going to get screamed at because us kids were uncontrollable, stupid teens or just plain rude for not hanging on their every freaking word.