Healing is a process. You lost old friends, you suffered indignities....
I have been out since POP was read. That has been 16 years ago and I am still healing. Do not be hard on yourself. Love yourself! Take long baths, waste some time by just sitting, watch a sitcom. Go talk to someone (a professional) if you feel inclined.
I went through some very ALONE times. How do you met new people? What do you tell them? Can I share my love for God without bringing up the fact I was in a cult?
I tried explaining the cult to regular people and that just had them M&A me as a weirdo at work or something. So, I stopped telling them anything.
I still told people about a loving God but I had no place to invite people after I witnessed. When I made out my resume I did not know how to account for my time. I looked in the mirror and the teenager was gone and this older lady was there aching for the lost time. I wondered where I would have been in my career or financial status if not but for TWI. Then, I recognized I may have been worse off-- who knows. It is a lot of wondering and sorrow at first.
There was nobody that understood how this state of limbo was affecting me. Until I found John Juedes site then this one. I found a bunch of people riding the wave of recovery just like me.
You are not alone. Most of us have felt what you feel to some degree or another. It is okay. You will be up and down and in between. But it will get better. Go have a week just for you! Hair, make-up, get a dog, new shoes -- spend $100.00 wrecklessly. Listen to a non-Christian song you like. Or a wonderful Christian song! Love yourself!
Your words help greatly, I feel kinda whiny cause I have read so many stories here but just fell into this false sense that somehow I should be compeletly okay by now. Thanks for reminding me that it will take time and that it is a huge deal to have lived in one way then now to be learning how to live again. I agree I miss friends, oh I talk like I am okay with it, but I miss them badly. My hurt just aches. But I have found new friends here, good wonderful folks that know exactly what I meant when I posted this thread. Ones that I know will not turn their back on me. Thank you so very much.
Don't be hard on yourself Kathy. Change what YOU want to change, recover, grow, whatever, at YOUR OWN pace.
Retain what YOU want to retain as well.
You have been a very welcome addition to the Grease Spot cafe.
Don't worry about what is "normal".
Others can give advice, perspective, comfort, etc., but only you are YOU.
(You do write very clearly and get your point across very well, by the way, and thanks for using paragraphs!)
For some people the change is gradual, for some it is sudden.
For me a big turning point was a trip I took this summer, visiting my non-Way family. It was very healing for me. Along the way I stopped and visited twelve ex-Way friends and acquaintances, some who I previously known only on the forums or the chat room, some who I've known for decades.
I felt that I had turned a corner when I got back.
What will it take for you? I don't know. But hang in there!
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
Something that helped me with the whys was a thread on the old Grease Spot.
"was VP Good then become evil"
Or was TWI good then become evil
I forget the title, but it helped me see how I was baited. The fact that VP stole the calss from BG Leonard helped me with some of my endless why's and how's.
Anyone out there that can post the thread here?
It may help Cathy and Mj the way the information helped me! It was a thread written very close to when the move took place. Thank you.
Paw do you have access? Thanks
BTW, I wrote a light hearted response some opposite of the Way stuff. I am sure you read it light heartedly. But because we came out of a control freak cult -- I am clarifying
you know I am not speaking in edicts like "Go get a dog" I was merely rattling off somethings you probably have been unable to do and now IF YOU WANT TO you have the freedom to do.
I can not tell you how weird it was for me when I first wasted some time. I was almost antsy. The freedom yet wierd guilt I had when I spend a little money wrecklessly. I did get pets and it was a wonderful step in healing and has been a great reward!
So, enjoy yourself. Splurge on yourself with things you want in your life. God Bless.
Dot Matrix
[This message was edited by Dot Matrix on August 11, 2002 at 19:53.]
My pace, how refreshing to hear those words. I know I heard it said in twi but the words didn't line up with the accompanying push.
Comfort from others but yes I have to recoginze it will be my way. Kinda weird way to explain something but when I was a child I had a certain dream that would haunt me, really was hard to get over it. It was of me sitting in a room full of people but no one knew I was there, or seemed capable of helping me when I was in distress. Odd dream but it stayed with me for years. I did once know that it would be up to me to make my way, but I forgot it Oakspear, I forgot how to do it.
Steve,
Open so quickly, well that really was the old Kathy and that is one thing that God gave back to me quickly upon leaving twi. Cause you know you can not be open to anyone while in, their brand of consequences can be very costly.
(Oh yeah, did you read that I wasn't watching Dallas then, so that was how I did not know who had died. Hahahaha)
Actually the "get a dog" communicated to me as you wanted it to I think.
We did have a dog, got one shortly after we moved here, she was a nutcase . I mean really a nutcase. My nephews came up to visit us one time and they went back and told my mom that our dog was "mental". But we had to have her put to sleep last fall, it was hard as heck, she became ill to the end that her quality of life was not bearable for us to watch anymore. It was what had to be done. So probably no dogs for awhile, I enjoy others though as much as possible.
The pain is real and the hurt is real. I've been 'out' for near 15 years and some of the aches still surface from time to time.
I can't walk in your shoes or know what you are going thru from personal experience. My heart aches for you.
From what I've read you have a good man standing at your side, and you are a good woman standing at his side. Cling tightly to each other and those you love..............God will make a way out for you from your heartache
The last 5 years I was in TWI I hated being there. Couldn't WAIT to get out. Prayed and prayed to get out.
FINALLY - we were kicked out! I was SO happy, so OVERJOYED, so relieved! But not all the time...
Yet the first year I was out, I was still very defensive of TWI (mostly TWI 1 & VPW - NOT LCM). Even though I didn't really like the people in our fellowship, I missed the routine. It had been a part of my entire adult life for 29 years - from 16 to 45.
Believe it or not, I was depressed. Sad. Thought something was missing. I started wondering if God would still take care of us. I started wondering if there was a God at all! I mean, where was God when LCM was abusing women and spitting out false, harmful doctrine and hurting multitudes of people's lives?
It took me the better part of my first year out to come to grips with the fact that a lot of the things I had been taught were just plain .
And it took me a bit long to admit that TWI affected me as much as it really did. After all - I WANTED out for years! I should be happy, I should have been shouting for JOY! I shouldn't have looked back at all!
I am still dealing with attitudes of arrogance and legalism and a certain degree of fastidiousness I know I acquired while in TWI all those years. I will probably be working on getting rid of those bad habits for many more to come.
Things take time. Worthy things take more time-- like putting together your child's bicycle for Christmas! It's tedious and sometimes frustrating, but the results on Christmas morning make all the assembly time worthwhile!
(Yes, you can get someone to assemble it for you, but sometimes there's a LOT of satisfaction in doing it yourself!)size>
You have Cliff and the whole GS community to vent to - take advantage of it!
Call me or John any time...
Love -
Hope R. color>size>face>
Edited because I had to stop and take kids to school and didn't have time to proof it! size>
[This message was edited by Hope R. on August 12, 2002 at 5:29.]
I still think that one of the reasons why I stayed in twi soooooooo long was.......good friends and good people. I, too, miss them.
Sometimes, when I think back on those simple times [before things got really twi ugly]......my heart cries. Sharing life with special friends meant more than fame or riches.
Taking two steps backward....isn't always a bad thing. Time for reflection and time for healing.
Someone said that "Leaving twi was like a divorce" ....and I see what they meant. It just didn't turn out as I expected.
Take all the time you need. Besides, who wants to string more chairs anyway?
I still remember your email to me asking if it had been you who I was referring to (but was Song I was talking to in my post), you are a good man. Yes I do have a good man standing at my side, and gee how sweet for you to call me a good woman at his side (I have my good days ). I have found that I have (if I may use this term without sounding just bonkers to yall) fallen in love with some of you out there, I mean that I have made you a part of my very heart so I shall cling tightly to those I love.
Hope,
What can I say? You and I knew for years but just stayed put for our personal reasons. Found great comfort in knowing you were always there for me. Hey can you run over to my moms and give her a kiss for me, it is her birthday on Monday, heck you live less than 5 miles apart probably .
Questions:
How does a private topic work, I mean if you ask to start one then how do you know it worked and how do you continue it?
Also what is adding someone to your contact mean?
Also I noticed some of you can do things with your print that is available over in Word, I talked to Paw about it and he said open it up first, then log on and I can use that as means for spellcheck and font changes and such, I am a complete "bonehead" and can not figure out how to do it.
Cathy there is no normal! This is not like getting over a case of the chicken pox!
I'm not being flip! I hear you! I understand you!
As you continue getting over it, you'll see that your relationship with God gets better. You'll probably get into separating the wheat from the chaff and finally understand a lot of things that didn't make sense before.
In addition to what's been already said, I think it would be good to allow yourself to make friends in the real world. You may want to take it slow, because it takes a while to get all your people skills back together again, but it really helps.
As others have said, it's entirely normal, and hardly unusual for you to feel that way. If the foundation you thought was firm starts to give way, the natural instinct is to freeze, or panic, or both. Until you know which parts are solid and which parts are firm, you don't know which way to jump, so to speak.
One of the best pieces of advice I've seen here is to get a different version of the Bible to read. Over all the years in TWI, the emphasis on "teaching and research" served to indelibly link the wonderful language in the KJV with the "official" TWI dogma on those verses. Reading it in slightly different language, without all your TWI margin notes and scratch-outs helps your brain re-acquire God's message. Personally, I find the NASB version to be the best, but a lot of folks prefer the NIV.
When all else fails, remember Christ's words to the Pharisees: Love God, and love your neighbor as yourself. You can act and think and believe the right thing in any situation by applying that concept first. Worry about the details later.
Egads, you mean this forum is not people from the real world
I know what you are talking about, and actually I have retained some dear friends that were never twi folks. They are precious to me, but as much as they try they can not understand twi and my last 18 years of living in it. Here I don't have to explain myself, I can just say a sentence and it is understood. The feeling alone is a different alone than no one to talk to. Here I don't have to prove myself like twi or even with new folks sometimes. Never one to try and impress someone, you like me or you don't, here I can take my shoes off and bear my soul.
Zixar,
---when all else fails, remember Christ---
I love that!
---foundation you thought was firm---
Does that ever say it, and I know I have used his words before in this forum but one can NEVER have too much of him (can they ): my foundations were made of clay ("My father's eyes" Eric Clapton)
Fresh,
---sharing life with special friends meant more than fame or riches.
Yes that is why I miss them .
---stringing chairs ahhhhh
But one of the most interesting jobs I ever did was to stand on the head of lcm & donna's bed while dusting a picture above their bed. Let me tell you that was a complete trip for me, I was like "oh man please don't let him walk in at this second", I mean how the heck was I suppose to reach that darn ole picture anyway.
Thanks all for your wonderful hearts and comfort to me.
Talking with Cliff earlier, he said he has recognized this means of healing for me and that it is really not the same need for him. He will work it out in his own way. I told him I thought I needed to get involved with less threads at a time, in an effort to not get too addicted , he said I will know if I ever get to that point, and assured me that I was not neglecting anything. Gosh, like I would ever be able to leave anyway.
The loss of the all that twi had meant to us is very much a real death. There are stages to grieving death, it has been documented that one MUST go through them all to completely heal.
When I was first M&A'd over false accusations, I went thru the denial stage. Surely there had been a mistake made and if only _____ (name your own whoever in a high leadership position) would hear of this, it will be taken care of cause IT IS SO OFF THE WORD TO DO THAT TO EACH OTHER. SO I called HQ and told them I was on my way over to see lcm, that surely HE was spiritually sharp enough to see thru this- (give me a break, this was 8 years ago this month - I was not onto him til I came to Waydale). They told me not to, that there were armed guards with my picture and my then 13 year old son's picture on the lookout for us! We were NOT welcome at the Way. Ha ha ha
I have endured some big losses in my life very recently, and I remembered that somewhere I had learned of 5 stages of grief. I looked on google and found the following - maybe there's something in there that might help you - from the experts.
At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance.
Five Stages Of Grief
1. Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
2. Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious: at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
3. Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
4. Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
5. Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
Grief And Stress
During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.
Yet denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.
Recovering From Grief
Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly, with good self-care habits. It helps to have a dose circle of family or friends. It also helps to eat a balanced diet, drink enough non-alcoholic fluids, get exercise and rest.
Most people are unprepared for grief, since so often, tragedy strikes suddenly, without warning. If good self-care habits are always practiced, it helps the person to deal with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached.
Thanks, I can get some helpful understanding from that. And at the same time have some satisfaction that I am obtaining it from without twi, I mean was that stuff in one of the classes .
I have family in your neck of the woods, spent many a summer afternoon hanging out with my fun cousins and their friends, do they still have that driveup (A&W type) burger place? Oh yes, the memories of there
Recommended Posts
Dot Matrix
Healing is a process. You lost old friends, you suffered indignities....
I have been out since POP was read. That has been 16 years ago and I am still healing. Do not be hard on yourself. Love yourself! Take long baths, waste some time by just sitting, watch a sitcom. Go talk to someone (a professional) if you feel inclined.
I went through some very ALONE times. How do you met new people? What do you tell them? Can I share my love for God without bringing up the fact I was in a cult?
I tried explaining the cult to regular people and that just had them M&A me as a weirdo at work or something. So, I stopped telling them anything.
I still told people about a loving God but I had no place to invite people after I witnessed. When I made out my resume I did not know how to account for my time. I looked in the mirror and the teenager was gone and this older lady was there aching for the lost time. I wondered where I would have been in my career or financial status if not but for TWI. Then, I recognized I may have been worse off-- who knows. It is a lot of wondering and sorrow at first.
There was nobody that understood how this state of limbo was affecting me. Until I found John Juedes site then this one. I found a bunch of people riding the wave of recovery just like me.
You are not alone. Most of us have felt what you feel to some degree or another. It is okay. You will be up and down and in between. But it will get better. Go have a week just for you! Hair, make-up, get a dog, new shoes -- spend $100.00 wrecklessly. Listen to a non-Christian song you like. Or a wonderful Christian song! Love yourself!
You are free!!!!!! You have much to offer.
Dot Matrix
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mj412
It was a spin off for me as I have said earlier when I realized the dream was gone....
the dream of belonging to special folks who love God and He loves us back and we can love one another.
an answer for the problems and stress life gives.
someone who knows how ya feel cause they believe what you do.
a place to go on sundays or thursday nights ... and they were waiting for ya...
folks to pray with.
laugh with
tell the good times tooo
share a life with...
it is an incredible loss
and it is not really someting that will ever be replaced for me.
ever.
I needed them
they needed me
and of course
the constant why????
the whys have not left me either.
I have the facts to why the choice I made was such.
but still have the whys???
sure it is lonely I do not want to go though this loss again.
Of course we all felt deep feelings for one another and what we were doing.
mine didnt go away cause it ended.
they just float around waiting for a home.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
Dot Matrix and mj412,
Your words help greatly, I feel kinda whiny cause I have read so many stories here but just fell into this false sense that somehow I should be compeletly okay by now. Thanks for reminding me that it will take time and that it is a huge deal to have lived in one way then now to be learning how to live again. I agree I miss friends, oh I talk like I am okay with it, but I miss them badly. My hurt just aches. But I have found new friends here, good wonderful folks that know exactly what I meant when I posted this thread. Ones that I know will not turn their back on me. Thank you so very much.
Kathy
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Oakspear
((((((((Kathy))))))))
Don't be hard on yourself Kathy. Change what YOU want to change, recover, grow, whatever, at YOUR OWN pace.
Retain what YOU want to retain as well.
You have been a very welcome addition to the Grease Spot cafe.
Don't worry about what is "normal".
Others can give advice, perspective, comfort, etc., but only you are YOU.
(You do write very clearly and get your point across very well, by the way, and thanks for using paragraphs!)
For some people the change is gradual, for some it is sudden.
For me a big turning point was a trip I took this summer, visiting my non-Way family. It was very healing for me. Along the way I stopped and visited twelve ex-Way friends and acquaintances, some who I previously known only on the forums or the chat room, some who I've known for decades.
I felt that I had turned a corner when I got back.
What will it take for you? I don't know. But hang in there!
Oakspear
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice...but in practice there is
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steve!
Hey, Chattsy, you've got your husband, and you've already got this internet community to talk to.
For 10 years, from the time I left a splinter group, I had no one to talk to - at all - about my Way time.
I think it's wonderful that you are so open so quickly.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dot Matrix
Something that helped me with the whys was a thread on the old Grease Spot.
"was VP Good then become evil"
Or was TWI good then become evil
I forget the title, but it helped me see how I was baited. The fact that VP stole the calss from BG Leonard helped me with some of my endless why's and how's.
Anyone out there that can post the thread here?
It may help Cathy and Mj the way the information helped me! It was a thread written very close to when the move took place. Thank you.
Paw do you have access? Thanks
BTW, I wrote a light hearted response some opposite of the Way stuff. I am sure you read it light heartedly. But because we came out of a control freak cult -- I am clarifying
you know I am not speaking in edicts like "Go get a dog" I was merely rattling off somethings you probably have been unable to do and now IF YOU WANT TO you have the freedom to do.
I can not tell you how weird it was for me when I first wasted some time. I was almost antsy. The freedom yet wierd guilt I had when I spend a little money wrecklessly. I did get pets and it was a wonderful step in healing and has been a great reward!
So, enjoy yourself. Splurge on yourself with things you want in your life. God Bless.
Dot Matrix
[This message was edited by Dot Matrix on August 11, 2002 at 19:53.]
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
Oakspear,
My pace, how refreshing to hear those words. I know I heard it said in twi but the words didn't line up with the accompanying push.
Comfort from others but yes I have to recoginze it will be my way. Kinda weird way to explain something but when I was a child I had a certain dream that would haunt me, really was hard to get over it. It was of me sitting in a room full of people but no one knew I was there, or seemed capable of helping me when I was in distress. Odd dream but it stayed with me for years. I did once know that it would be up to me to make my way, but I forgot it Oakspear, I forgot how to do it.
Steve,
Open so quickly, well that really was the old Kathy and that is one thing that God gave back to me quickly upon leaving twi. Cause you know you can not be open to anyone while in, their brand of consequences can be very costly.
(Oh yeah, did you read that I wasn't watching Dallas then, so that was how I did not know who had died. Hahahaha)
Kathy
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
Dot Matrix,
Actually the "get a dog" communicated to me as you wanted it to I think.
We did have a dog, got one shortly after we moved here, she was a nutcase . I mean really a nutcase. My nephews came up to visit us one time and they went back and told my mom that our dog was "mental". But we had to have her put to sleep last fall, it was hard as heck, she became ill to the end that her quality of life was not bearable for us to watch anymore. It was what had to be done. So probably no dogs for awhile, I enjoy others though as much as possible.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
firebee
Chatty,
The pain is real and the hurt is real. I've been 'out' for near 15 years and some of the aches still surface from time to time.
I can't walk in your shoes or know what you are going thru from personal experience. My heart aches for you.
From what I've read you have a good man standing at your side, and you are a good woman standing at his side. Cling tightly to each other and those you love..............God will make a way out for you from your heartache
My prayers are with you and your family
from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hope R.
Kathy -
The last 5 years I was in TWI I hated being there. Couldn't WAIT to get out. Prayed and prayed to get out.
FINALLY - we were kicked out! I was SO happy, so OVERJOYED, so relieved! But not all the time...
Yet the first year I was out, I was still very defensive of TWI (mostly TWI 1 & VPW - NOT LCM). Even though I didn't really like the people in our fellowship, I missed the routine. It had been a part of my entire adult life for 29 years - from 16 to 45.
Believe it or not, I was depressed. Sad. Thought something was missing. I started wondering if God would still take care of us. I started wondering if there was a God at all! I mean, where was God when LCM was abusing women and spitting out false, harmful doctrine and hurting multitudes of people's lives?
It took me the better part of my first year out to come to grips with the fact that a lot of the things I had been taught were just plain.
And it took me a bit long to admit that TWI affected me as much as it really did. After all - I WANTED out for years! I should be happy, I should have been shouting for JOY! I shouldn't have looked back at all!
I am still dealing with attitudes of arrogance and legalism and a certain degree of fastidiousness I know I acquired while in TWI all those years. I will probably be working on getting rid of those bad habits for many more to come.
Things take time. Worthy things take more time-- like putting together your child's bicycle for Christmas! It's tedious and sometimes frustrating, but the results on Christmas morning make all the assembly time worthwhile!
(Yes, you can get someone to assemble it for you, but sometimes there's a LOT of satisfaction in doing it yourself!)size>
You have Cliff and the whole GS community to vent to - take advantage of it!
Call me or John any time...
Love -
Hope R. color>size>face>
Edited because I had to stop and take kids to school and didn't have time to proof it! size>
[This message was edited by Hope R. on August 12, 2002 at 5:29.]
Link to comment
Share on other sites
FreshAir 99
Kathy,
This is for you.....(((((((Kathy)))))))
I still think that one of the reasons why I stayed in twi soooooooo long was.......good friends and good people. I, too, miss them.
Sometimes, when I think back on those simple times [before things got really twi ugly]......my heart cries. Sharing life with special friends meant more than fame or riches.
Taking two steps backward....isn't always a bad thing. Time for reflection and time for healing.
Someone said that "Leaving twi was like a divorce" ....and I see what they meant. It just didn't turn out as I expected.
Take all the time you need. Besides, who wants to string more chairs anyway?
Fresh
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
Firebee,
I still remember your email to me asking if it had been you who I was referring to (but was Song I was talking to in my post), you are a good man. Yes I do have a good man standing at my side, and gee how sweet for you to call me a good woman at his side (I have my good days ). I have found that I have (if I may use this term without sounding just bonkers to yall) fallen in love with some of you out there, I mean that I have made you a part of my very heart so I shall cling tightly to those I love.
Hope,
What can I say? You and I knew for years but just stayed put for our personal reasons. Found great comfort in knowing you were always there for me. Hey can you run over to my moms and give her a kiss for me, it is her birthday on Monday, heck you live less than 5 miles apart probably .
Questions:
How does a private topic work, I mean if you ask to start one then how do you know it worked and how do you continue it?
Also what is adding someone to your contact mean?
Also I noticed some of you can do things with your print that is available over in Word, I talked to Paw about it and he said open it up first, then log on and I can use that as means for spellcheck and font changes and such, I am a complete "bonehead" and can not figure out how to do it.
HELP PLEASE
Link to comment
Share on other sites
krys
Cathy there is no normal! This is not like getting over a case of the chicken pox!
I'm not being flip! I hear you! I understand you!
As you continue getting over it, you'll see that your relationship with God gets better. You'll probably get into separating the wheat from the chaff and finally understand a lot of things that didn't make sense before.
In addition to what's been already said, I think it would be good to allow yourself to make friends in the real world. You may want to take it slow, because it takes a while to get all your people skills back together again, but it really helps.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Zixar
Dear C-Kathy,
As others have said, it's entirely normal, and hardly unusual for you to feel that way. If the foundation you thought was firm starts to give way, the natural instinct is to freeze, or panic, or both. Until you know which parts are solid and which parts are firm, you don't know which way to jump, so to speak.
One of the best pieces of advice I've seen here is to get a different version of the Bible to read. Over all the years in TWI, the emphasis on "teaching and research" served to indelibly link the wonderful language in the KJV with the "official" TWI dogma on those verses. Reading it in slightly different language, without all your TWI margin notes and scratch-outs helps your brain re-acquire God's message. Personally, I find the NASB version to be the best, but a lot of folks prefer the NIV.
When all else fails, remember Christ's words to the Pharisees: Love God, and love your neighbor as yourself. You can act and think and believe the right thing in any situation by applying that concept first. Worry about the details later.
God bless!
Zixar
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
Krysilis,
---make friends in the real world.
Egads, you mean this forum is not people from the real world
I know what you are talking about, and actually I have retained some dear friends that were never twi folks. They are precious to me, but as much as they try they can not understand twi and my last 18 years of living in it. Here I don't have to explain myself, I can just say a sentence and it is understood. The feeling alone is a different alone than no one to talk to. Here I don't have to prove myself like twi or even with new folks sometimes. Never one to try and impress someone, you like me or you don't, here I can take my shoes off and bear my soul.
Zixar,
---when all else fails, remember Christ---
I love that!
---foundation you thought was firm---
Does that ever say it, and I know I have used his words before in this forum but one can NEVER have too much of him (can they ): my foundations were made of clay ("My father's eyes" Eric Clapton)
Fresh,
---sharing life with special friends meant more than fame or riches.
Yes that is why I miss them .
---stringing chairs ahhhhh
But one of the most interesting jobs I ever did was to stand on the head of lcm & donna's bed while dusting a picture above their bed. Let me tell you that was a complete trip for me, I was like "oh man please don't let him walk in at this second", I mean how the heck was I suppose to reach that darn ole picture anyway.
Thanks all for your wonderful hearts and comfort to me.
Talking with Cliff earlier, he said he has recognized this means of healing for me and that it is really not the same need for him. He will work it out in his own way. I told him I thought I needed to get involved with less threads at a time, in an effort to not get too addicted , he said I will know if I ever get to that point, and assured me that I was not neglecting anything. Gosh, like I would ever be able to leave anyway.
Kathy
gotta do stuff, back later tonight
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bowtwi
The loss of the all that twi had meant to us is very much a real death. There are stages to grieving death, it has been documented that one MUST go through them all to completely heal.
When I was first M&A'd over false accusations, I went thru the denial stage. Surely there had been a mistake made and if only _____ (name your own whoever in a high leadership position) would hear of this, it will be taken care of cause IT IS SO OFF THE WORD TO DO THAT TO EACH OTHER. SO I called HQ and told them I was on my way over to see lcm, that surely HE was spiritually sharp enough to see thru this- (give me a break, this was 8 years ago this month - I was not onto him til I came to Waydale). They told me not to, that there were armed guards with my picture and my then 13 year old son's picture on the lookout for us! We were NOT welcome at the Way. Ha ha ha
I have endured some big losses in my life very recently, and I remembered that somewhere I had learned of 5 stages of grief. I looked on google and found the following - maybe there's something in there that might help you - from the experts.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
bowtwi,
Thanks, I can get some helpful understanding from that. And at the same time have some satisfaction that I am obtaining it from without twi, I mean was that stuff in one of the classes .
I have family in your neck of the woods, spent many a summer afternoon hanging out with my fun cousins and their friends, do they still have that driveup (A&W type) burger place? Oh yes, the memories of there
Kathy
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.