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important question for couples


wwjesuslaughat
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Thanks WWJLA! This has been a very interesting and helpful read.

I've discussed the "cult thing" with the guy I'm seeing now and I think I pretty much shocked & amused him with some of my more serious questions...you know, about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and such.. icon_wink.gif;)--> Those are very important issues to me!

He goes to church, but not all the time and doesn't feel guilty if he doesn't go. He's a simple Southern gentleman who's pretty laid back about the whole "christianity" thing, which I used to be and am getting back to.

It's just so nice to be around someone you don't have to be on your best behavior around all the time. That doesn't sound right...I guess I mean someone you can really, truly be yourself around and know that they are getting to know the real you and that it doesn't change how they feel about you. It wasn't like that in my TWIt marriage. I'm constantly assessing my behavior and conversation to make sure I'm not adjusting who I really am to make this guy like me or to keep the relationship going. Maybe too much, but I just really want the relationship to be real and not based on facades on either side.

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wwjla

I take what the Bible says literally. Ok I married a christian woman. I can tell you a million things that are wrong with her a one very important right thing. She is a real christian. She not only talks the talk she walks the walk. It it wern't for that I would have divorced her years ago.

Don't as someone said live with him for a year. I did that with a twi-t person. Without the commitment of vow's it doen't last because there's no reason to make it last.

Just because a person says their a christian means nothing. You'll know one by their fruits. The differance between a great person and a christian is what happens when the world comes down on your head. Trust me that at somtime in your married life the world will come down.

Thats my sick thoughts from out here from where all the goats and deer roam.

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WWJLA

it wouldnt make a difference to me if they were christian or not.

marriage does not go into eternity we have no wife or husbands when we pass on to the new life.

a believing spouse does cover for the unbelieving spouse.

the only issue would be in what would you decide together to teach the children about God and religon . that could cause some isssues if one had strong beliefs and the other did not want the kids to partake in the rituals or teaching of them.

I have a friend , liked this friend we did well UNTILLL the day she started aksing me about God , now I said I was a christian and I know the bible some ( cough) but I did not want our discussion to go ay further in that . I do not teach the bible (my kids yes they are grown and heard it for twenty years already but only if they ask and we discuss I can not preach)

I have another friend that always ofers bible study she enjoys it loves it and it has helped her get through the death of her husband this year...

sometimes I will answer her question about where in the bible it may address a topic or two but I do not teach per say. I went with her to the bible study and Im going to confess. As the group very nice folks struggled to find the gospel of Mark for ten minutes I was bored ..I feel guilty so no sense in shaming me now I know Im the problem.

30 years of study did something to me....

something bad.. I have little tolerance for bible study that is not quite intese and serious. Most all ofthe bible study I have heard do like one verse or two hello jesus loves you God hears your prayer praise and wow that was a good time for all...

so I do not partake I am racist or somethingin bible study.

shame on me. so in the content of being unequal with those who do not believe that for me includes alot of christians as well.

big topic like the mystery of christ , you know all the doctrines we know or think we know. Im unequal I would say 90 % of the time and certainly do not need to go to a hour long fellowship and begin with the basics all over again.

so with those I love I do not discuss for the most part unless they ask and then only from a position of what I have learned for me.

it just does not matter.. to me if someone thinks God loves them or not .

my kids witness Gods love to ME and they often remind me of the grace we have seen as a family they must have heard that growing up and sometimes I will offer to pray for someone or tell thme God will help us make it through but my friends are bascialy just my friends now . folks who want to spend time doing things together and enjoying conversations about life other than God almighty. I think it is more real this way.

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bottom line is WDJS? (say) about your situation.

I have seen many go in and out (and hopefully in again) through the "Christian" phase.

so IMHO "Christian" is a transient characteristic.

But godliness and pursuit of goodness is a focus of the heart. That you can see.

(Many people have never met Jesus face to face. That is not a fault or character flaw, but a question of God's timing.)

It's only the Lord Who has kept Fred and I together for 36 years -- and it was His promise of care we trusted those many years ago.

Praying with you and for you for good understanding.

Kit

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