Hell and the Thermodynamics Exam

[markomalley]

A scientific proof for the existence of hell:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

This student received the only "A" given.

[dmiller]

:D--> :D--> :D-->

A bonus question, and he already had the "lab results" to report!

[krys]

I have seen this before, but I loved reading it again.

[dmiller]

quote:

---

HA! This is math isn't it?

---

Nope -- the first paragraph said this was a chemistry mid-term exam -- and the last paragraph proved the point! :D-->

[krys]

Nope - t'isn't math at all.

It is one of the best examples of thinking outside of the box that I can remember seeing!

[ex70sHouston]

Ok this is freshman thermodynamics and heat and power. Also are soals liquid(liquids don't compress) or a gas. If they are a gas what is there enthalpy at 0 psia. I can do the math if you would please give me a few numbers.

[WordWolf]

Hm.

This is an old joke, and I missed it the

first time-

the ENDING is rewritten.

Those of you who skimmed it because you've

read it before, reread it.

The old ending is

"If we accept the postulate given to me by

Teresa Banyan that

'it will be a cold day in Hell before I give

you my phone number',

and take into account that I have yet to

succeed in getting her phone number,

we conclude Hell is exothermic and will not

freeze."

I won't bother posting a link, but I'm pretty

sure it's on Snopes and a lot of other places.

[krys]

This is comical WordWolf, because the only one I've read is the first one.....I never saw the one you posted!

I wonder if there are other variants around!?

[Zixar]

The ending was probably altered because the first one does not absolutely follow from the argument. If she told him she'd only sleep with him when Hell froze over, and he hadn't slept with her yet, that does not mean that Hell is definitely one way or the other, because it may not have reached it's final state--it could be on the way to freezing over tomorrow.

The altered ending forces Hell to be in the state "frozen over", which only sleeping with the girl would support.

(Okay, so logic takes all the fun out of it, but there you go...)