Raf, I love your logical mind, but sometimes humor doesn't have to be logical. Come on, give me credit for trying to make you smile!
Laughter through tears helps me.
Ok, how about an airline joke?
An exhibitionist was preparing to board a flight to Chicago. When he approached the gate, he saw that a very attractive attendant was collecting boarding passes. As she reached toward him for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself.
"I'm sorry, sir", she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket here, not your stub."
preface: I am on travel about once a month for a week at a time and stay in hotel room at the Casino where I am performing the audit work.
1. This is really true story.
2. Raf I wouldn't throw out the soaps because that is wasteful. (It wouldn't be a happy meeting with my mother in heaven.)
3. I just pile the soaps, coffee and other stuff they keep leaving in the ice bucket, with hope that they will reuse it when I leave.
4. My to-this-day unsolveable dilemma: When housekeeping cleans the toilet, they leave the toilet seat up for room inspection. I have taped notes to the seat, etc. And, after almost 5 years of this have given up. I just return to my room after they have cleaned and put the toilet seat down. My two sons and husband could learn to put the toilet seat down, but not the Peppermill housecleaning staff. (They even leave the toilet seats up in the women's bathroom.) It's a hopeless dilemma I fear.
Add to that the paper strip they leave across the seat, like a Ms Toilet banner. Can't tell how many times I've checked in late at night in a hotel and had to deal with that unexpected joy in the dark.
Plus: coldest days traveling in north-the heat would never be on in the room. After trudging through the snow in the parking lot and getting to the room, only to find one of those waist high heaters that deliver more humidity than heat! I have to run a hot bath and stick my feet in just to prevent frostbite.
One more: I went to Neuburg, New York for a week. Being a good company person, knowing that I had an especially tough week ahead, I fly out on a Sunday. Planes were delayed: got to the hotel around 7 Pm, and the room wasn't ready. Ate dinner and got the room around 8. Started to run a bath and unpacked while the tub was filling. Went to check on the tub and the water was-well somewhere between deep yellow and dark brown.
I was horrified! I called the desk to ask, "What the hell...!" They said that the water filtration system in the city had been operating poorly for years! Oh, the water was safe, just yucky looking. Really!
I said, "Well, is the water safe to use for morning coffee? (I know, I know-but I have to have my coffee in the morning". They say, "Well, no, but we offer bottled water". I said, "Well, when were you going to tell anybody". They said, "Well, we had a sign but somebody must have taken it down".
I called another hotel: no surprise-their water was fine: but no rooms available.
I had sponge baths from cold bottled water the whole frigging week.
I had the same problem in Ft. Lauderdale: their water is a urine yellow. At least they have signs in the bathroom warning you.
Kit - that's so the seats can 'drip dry' - I'd rather put a seat down than sit on wet cleaner - it's a yucky feeling, especially when you stand up again and it runs down the backs of your legs... :blink:
(But my guys - the ones outta diapers - are trained to put the seat back down when they're done - and they do!)
3 women were in a hotel restaurant, for breakfast. One was a German, one was Japanese, and the third was a hillbilly lady from Kentucky.
A ringing sound was heard -- and the German lady said *excuse me*, as she lifted her hand to her ear. After *talking* to her hand, she explained to the others, that she had a micro-chip imbedded there, and it was a cell phone for her.
A minute or two later -- the same thing happened for the Japanese woman, and she offered the same explanation, about the micro-chip in her hand.
Well the poor ole hillbilly woman from Kentucky, was feeling upstaged, and decided to leave the scene, and visit the lady's room, in order to excape the scene. She thought she stayed there long enough for the others to leave the breakfast table, but they were still there when she came out.
Sadly -- there was a trail of toilet paper following her, caught in the the rear of her pants. As the other two snickered, she said -- *Oh My! I must have a fax coming in.*
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justloafing
That is funny topy
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Raf
Why doesn't he just throw the soap out?
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topoftheworld
'Cause then it wouldn't be a funny story!
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Raf
Oh.
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topoftheworld
Raf, I love your logical mind, but sometimes humor doesn't have to be logical. Come on, give me credit for trying to make you smile!
Laughter through tears helps me.
Ok, how about an airline joke?
An exhibitionist was preparing to board a flight to Chicago. When he approached the gate, he saw that a very attractive attendant was collecting boarding passes. As she reached toward him for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself.
"I'm sorry, sir", she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket here, not your stub."
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Kit Sober
preface: I am on travel about once a month for a week at a time and stay in hotel room at the Casino where I am performing the audit work.
1. This is really true story.
2. Raf I wouldn't throw out the soaps because that is wasteful. (It wouldn't be a happy meeting with my mother in heaven.)
3. I just pile the soaps, coffee and other stuff they keep leaving in the ice bucket, with hope that they will reuse it when I leave.
4. My to-this-day unsolveable dilemma: When housekeeping cleans the toilet, they leave the toilet seat up for room inspection. I have taped notes to the seat, etc. And, after almost 5 years of this have given up. I just return to my room after they have cleaned and put the toilet seat down. My two sons and husband could learn to put the toilet seat down, but not the Peppermill housecleaning staff. (They even leave the toilet seats up in the women's bathroom.) It's a hopeless dilemma I fear.
Kit
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topoftheworld
Add to that the paper strip they leave across the seat, like a Ms Toilet banner. Can't tell how many times I've checked in late at night in a hotel and had to deal with that unexpected joy in the dark.
Plus: coldest days traveling in north-the heat would never be on in the room. After trudging through the snow in the parking lot and getting to the room, only to find one of those waist high heaters that deliver more humidity than heat! I have to run a hot bath and stick my feet in just to prevent frostbite.
One more: I went to Neuburg, New York for a week. Being a good company person, knowing that I had an especially tough week ahead, I fly out on a Sunday. Planes were delayed: got to the hotel around 7 Pm, and the room wasn't ready. Ate dinner and got the room around 8. Started to run a bath and unpacked while the tub was filling. Went to check on the tub and the water was-well somewhere between deep yellow and dark brown.
I was horrified! I called the desk to ask, "What the hell...!" They said that the water filtration system in the city had been operating poorly for years! Oh, the water was safe, just yucky looking. Really!
I said, "Well, is the water safe to use for morning coffee? (I know, I know-but I have to have my coffee in the morning". They say, "Well, no, but we offer bottled water". I said, "Well, when were you going to tell anybody". They said, "Well, we had a sign but somebody must have taken it down".
I called another hotel: no surprise-their water was fine: but no rooms available.
I had sponge baths from cold bottled water the whole frigging week.
I had the same problem in Ft. Lauderdale: their water is a urine yellow. At least they have signs in the bathroom warning you.
Traveling-where's the glamour part?
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ChasUFarley
Kit - that's so the seats can 'drip dry' - I'd rather put a seat down than sit on wet cleaner - it's a yucky feeling, especially when you stand up again and it runs down the backs of your legs... :blink:
(But my guys - the ones outta diapers - are trained to put the seat back down when they're done - and they do!)
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dmiller
3 women were in a hotel restaurant, for breakfast. One was a German, one was Japanese, and the third was a hillbilly lady from Kentucky.
A ringing sound was heard -- and the German lady said *excuse me*, as she lifted her hand to her ear. After *talking* to her hand, she explained to the others, that she had a micro-chip imbedded there, and it was a cell phone for her.
A minute or two later -- the same thing happened for the Japanese woman, and she offered the same explanation, about the micro-chip in her hand.
Well the poor ole hillbilly woman from Kentucky, was feeling upstaged, and decided to leave the scene, and visit the lady's room, in order to excape the scene. She thought she stayed there long enough for the others to leave the breakfast table, but they were still there when she came out.
Sadly -- there was a trail of toilet paper following her, caught in the the rear of her pants. As the other two snickered, she said -- *Oh My! I must have a fax coming in.*
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topoftheworld
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