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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/15/2020 in all areas

  1. @Lifted Up My post in this thread is the first time I've ever let the universe know about what happened. I was in FC 18 if anyone was there or knows anyone from that time. I know the exact person who did it and her entire family is still strongly in TWI as far as I know. "Saying" those words in an internet forum to complete strangers made me reach out to my brother who is younger than me and I told him about it. All he said was he knew I've been dealt bad cards my whole life and didn't even want to talk about it. I am 6 months shy of 40 and haven't cried this much in decades, or ever. Clearly a valve opened up, but the lack of understanding from my family has been devastating. I can't even talk to my parents because they are still "going strong" in TWI. Looking back it is clear that it is this one incident that fractured my entire family by making me pull inside myself. In turn I started acting out against my parents and started bullying my brother. I almost feel worse for my brother now, he has no love in his heart because of my reaction to being raped and how I treated him afterward. He literally told me he doesn't understand why people need family and love and support. I died inside. He is more scarred than I. I am the typical older sibling who has jumped from career to career and he is extremely rich/wealthy now through a very hard work ethic because of my bullying. Ironically he is the exact type of person I despise and believe are ruining the world and I had no idea. I've confronted my parents about other things regarding TWI throughout the years and my mother just defends everything in typical fashion by turning a blind eye or citing the same bs we all know and have heard a million times. And for the record, my incident occurred while my parents were on LEAD as well. I remember because I balled my eyes out as I was scared for my parents being alone and hitchhiking for a week. Even at a young age I knew you could get the same experiences doing something much safer. But wtf do I know? I quit a teaching job at a university right before covid hit as they were about to give me tenure so I could be the stay at home parent for my first born. (Don't feel bad for me it was a good decision.) I decided to have a child finally because I realized how miserable I have been chasing money and having no love in my life. It was and is scary but I am so grateful I had the self awareness to go against the grain of what society thinks I should do. It has taken me 3 decades to be able to love another human being, and I am grateful that I'm late to the party instead of missing it entirely. TWI definitely engrained into me that what people think of you matters and you better fit in or else you aren't welcome. (Eventually I was marked and avoided!) Now at almost 40, everyday I have to wake up and fight what society expects and instead do what is good for me. I've never done anything good for myself and I don't even know if I know how. But I'm trying. I'm trying real hard to keep it together. (I have so much anger that my parents always pick TWI over me even as I write this. Any help on letting that go would be greatly appreciated.)
    2 points
  2. @JavaJane We were at the rock of ages sitting there to go WoW when Martindale decided we would not be going and that WoW would be cancelled. We then got sent to a new location obviously, where my family was kicked out of the corps by someone who had a personal vendetta against my father. That member was released from TWI and then TWI apologized to my family for being kicked out but that they would not restore their corps status. This affected all of us very profoundly. I was told my birth was also an accident when my parents were in the Corps training at Emporia(?), at which point they were kicked out of training. They returned to complete their training with my brother and I in the family corps. So even at my birth I ruined their spiritual plans and they never deviated from them. They were kicked out of the corp twice, essentially. Yet they keep grasping on to something that was never their earthy family. I have tried so many times to lovingly discuss and confront things with my parents. Their minds are so messed up they have an answer for everything, and it's sad that the words are never their own. I just don't deal with them. They essentially don't exist to me. No point in wasting energy. It has taken me this long on this earth to finally learn that being angry just wastes energy better spent elsewhere. I have a ton of accomplishments in my life and they were all achieved through anger. I'm learning to let go.
    1 point
  3. I'm wondering if she sees that the WC is so small, and numbers continue to fall, and she doesn't want to be the one left holding the parcel when the entire shebang finally collapses. Then, she can blame the ultimate failure on somebody else. I don't doubt that in leaving the Prez-ship or whatever she called herself, that she negotiated a good exit package. Rather than a regular weekly or monthly pension, maybe she negotiated a biiig lump sum, which couldn't be clawed back from any assets that will have to be distributed if TWI is wound up. You can be sure she didn't leave empty-handed, like so many other staff who were kicked out with nothing.
    1 point
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