newlife

Ex---you crack me up!!!

I would LOVE to get some of her CD's Whitedove......where can I for $10.00 plus shipping!! Appreciate the posts about Stevie K.----I am glad she is still into the music. What a great singer!

Thanks for the link with the ordering information.....I can smell the aroma now!!!

Thanks Rosestoyou..... Interesting you used the phrase, "what makes your heart sing?"---------I play music....and write music.....and that literally makes my heart sing. In the last week, I have formed a christian bluegrass band......And it's been great! Thanks for the confirmation!!!

Belle--it says her web store will be open soon......but if you have an order call till then!! I know.....If they are anything like her singing....awesome!!

Whitedove----Thanks S000000 much for the music link....awesome!!

WOW-------I would have never guess that, just because I never knew she had an interest in baking---Good for her.....I assume she is not with TWI any longer. I do hope she is still singing though.....what a voice! Thanks a lot!!!

This last weekend a friend whom I have connected with after a considerable number of years, were talking and actually singing some songs together....(I am a musician). But we got to talking about Stevie K. Lo#ie......how great of a singer she was and how we thought she really got the short end of the stick on her music. Does anyone know where she is? And is she still doing music??? And Clau##tte......where is she? So many great musicians with so much talent and heart.....where are they now??? One thing I felt that TWI had was the best music I had heard at that time.......which was in the 70's.

Thanks for the topic....... I agree with what many of the people have said so far. Forgiveness benefits both parties, but the only party to actually receive the benefit is the party that forgives. If someone has done something to me......if I refuse to forgive them, it's like me drinking poison waiting for the other party to drop dead. That's insane to do that. Somehow, I think I used to think that withholding forgiveness really made the other people suffer for their wrong doing......when in fact, they usually could either care less, or are completely unaware of what they have actually done, and they have gone on living their lives without one thought a day about what I am consumed in my thinking about aLL day. Who's paying the price here? Well for one, I am....cause like someone said, I'm the one that carries it around....I take it everywhere I go......I never leave it anywhere....I talk about it, I think about it...I play it over and over again in my head, it grows and increases my own personal pain. Will they pay a price? sure I think so....but I leave that to God. God is a just God. So, in summary, I have acquired the practice of forgiveness and doing it quickly cause I know what it does to me. Would I like to have an apology......Of course.......will I get an apology? who knows. My forgiveness is not continguent upon whether or not they apologize......Oh yes, I forgot something else.....I pray for those who wrong me and that is not an easy thing to do in the beginning. Why you ask? Two reasons....one the bible tells me to do that and Two.....I have found that is a phenomenal way of ridding myself of all those feelings I have toward that person. I pray for them what I would want in my life......that they would have health, that they would be healed of anything that they need to be healed of, I pray they would prosper and that they would have blessings that I would want in my life. The result........Pretty soon I am like no longer carrying even the feelings I once had for them. God is pretty smart on this subject.....we should follow the directions......It's a great freedom for us......forgivenss and prayer!!

Belle---All I can say is WOW......and thank-you for giving me that link. I've read through some of it and I've been just been floored by what I have read. Definitely Something I REALLY needed........It is going to help me soooo much!!! Thank-you so much!!!

Well, Thanks everyone for your posts. I really. really, appreciate them all. I will check out the Church of God of Abramic Faith......I have a friend from NY who is involved in that....but I don't really know anything about it. I know that over the last two months, all I've done is read the bible and just try and read what's written. And though, a lot of people were really against me doing that......that's what I have been doing. I pray and read, pray and read.....I think it's getting better! I do agree that I need the fellowship with other people. And I do agree that sometimes we just have to do the "hard stuff". One thing I do know...is that I want to keep moving ahead and not retreating to what I thought I knew. It's been difficult with some of the beliefs, but I do think that God is faithful........and since posting, I am having more peace about it. I got out my guitar over the weekend and pulled out this folder (that had dust on it) of old songs I had written. Some before TWI, and some in the early years of TWI.......and I was amazed that some of those songs gave me some insight and some peace of mind. I was amazed that I had written the words to some of them.......And I found a little more of "me" in them. We journey through this life....and I am glad that you are all on the road with me!!! Thank-you!!!

You made me laugh with that last sentence!!!!

Well, you are right about that.....I would like to find a church to fit into, but I've tried many, from Baptist to Independent Charismatic.......And it always comes down to (what I believe is the stopper) The trinity. I think people who believe in the trinity have a whole different perspective regarding who they are relating to, which is "Jesus". I am not at the place where I believe he is God. And I will admitt, this time when I left this last church, I kind of "gave up" on it ever working. SO, for two months I did nothing, but then decided because I just had given up on the church, I might as well go back to the offshoot...which isn't working either....I feel like I am inbetween the two of them. Some beliefs I've definitely changed and I do want a relationship with God... I would like to go forward, I want to move forward, and just was lost as to how to do that....and in a lot of pain over it....so I posted. I am receiving a lot of good suggestions......and you may have hit on something, I am not sure how " to be" in a church where you don't believe what they believe. I feel like an "under cover agent" or something!! I don't think it's honest. Acting like I "fit in" when on the inside knowing that I don't. I don't know why I hold on to beliefs so tightly, maybe like one person suggested.....fear. Thanks for all of your posts......I know I am not the only one that goes through something like this.....

I so appreciate your posts....it has helped me. It is a journey to be sure!! I really don't know exactly what to do...but I have some great suggestions from you all. It has helped to know that others are dealing with some of the same things and feelings that I am dealing with. It's frustrating though......I think I still have a lot of Way brain.....

Yes---FEAR---I didn't realize I had that much until I read your post!!! Thank-you so much.....it gave a lot of enlightenment to me.......

Hi Belle, Yes, When I read your post, I think you nailed a lot of things for me. I AM holding on to TWI logic and doctrine...... Some things I have changed in my beliefs......but a lot of it I am still holding to. And I guess the thing is maybe deep down I question them, and really think it possible they are not right, but I hold on to what I was taught.....What is it that makes me do this? I just don't know..... Thanks!! Hi Belle, Yes, When I read your post, I think you nailed a lot of things for me. I AM holding on to TWI logic and doctrine...... Some things I have changed in my beliefs......but a lot of it I am still holding to. And I guess the thing is maybe deep down I question them, and really think it possible they are not right, but I hold on to what I was taught.....What is it that makes me do this? I just don't know..... Thanks!!

Thanks Everyone for your input......I have appreciated it. I think I know what my pain stemmed from now......it stemmed from the idea that I had tried everything else and nothing seemed to work....finding myself in this offshoot (which by the way I am not putting them down-but it doesn't fit me) and feeling like, well this is it. You HAVE to stay here...you've run out of options......and that has produced a lot of pain for me. But, last night, I realized I can leave this group.....I don't know what that leaves me....but I don't Have to be in this group because the options have run out, even though I don't know of any more options. Belle, Thank-you for your offer to help. I really asked myself what I have been looking for....and the only thing I could think of was a "family" and "love". But also, just having some spiritual truths that I know are true. I think the biggest block to me and churches has been the trinity. Though, I have tried to overlook it, and tried to be involved and a part of...it definitely has an affect on my relationships.....because they have a different perspective of their relationship w/God... I have not been the greatest student of the bible since I left TWI.....but recently in the last two and a half months, when I had not been involved in anything, I started reading the bible to just see what it said.....and I've seen some things that I've not seen before.......and maybe that's why I don't think this off shoot group is for me. And I felt like, I was gonna have to believe what they believe in order to be a part of it.....Old thinking huh? And I really miss the family aspect. Even though we had a very disfunctional family in TWI....I had some very close friends and really felt they were family to me. I think I am rambling now......so I'll stop....Any help would be appreciated. It's hard for me to look at myself and be objective...so Thanks. Good questions about the fellowship aspect.......is it relevant today like it was in the book of Acts. More questions to be answered. I really would hate to think that x-way people are like the people wandering around in the wilderness....but I sure feel like that a lot.

Thank-you for your response and for sharing with me things that you could. I just have a lot of pain in dealing with this....I feel like I tried all these options, and still ended up almost where I started.....I really do not have a lot of hope....and I know that is just not how it should be. I don't know how to do this thing called Christianity, without being involved with a group of christians. I really don't. And maybe I should not do anything at all.....but that just can't be the answer. I guess this is a place I felt I could be understood and I could relate to other people. A place where I could share the pain of all this.....cause I SURE didn't start out after I left to end up where I am now....and it's so painful to be at this place in my life. I don't mean to be a "downer" about all this.....I just wanted to "get this out" of my head and heart and maybe hear from others who have experienced this or have some suggestions...... Thank you All.......

Gosh Thanks soooo Much for your response. That was a God deal right there.....I was in a lot of pain when I posted, and reading what you wrote helped me so much. It was encouraging.....THANK-YOU!!!

I've been out for 20 years now.......I've been trying over those 20 years to change beliefs, some of which I have, but After trying church after church, working at a place to help the homeless...doing christian music, even playing in a band...I found that I can not "fit in" with most of those places I have been......and ended up drawing back from all those to ponder what I should do. Where that has taken me is back to a fellowship, one of the offshoots, where I really am disappointed cause I feel like, "well here I go again". Another gal who also went back to the fellowship said, where else are you gonna go......and I have no answer for that, since I've tried so many different things and different places. It's pretty frustrating and I am wondering if any of you have experience this complete circle that I have just experienced. I remember when I first left, that we would joke, if you can take the person out of TWI, can you take the TWI out of the person??? It's not a joke to me any more. Any wisdom out there from you all????? Thanks!!

I am happy for you....There is always an answer! Newlife

Hello everyone, I haven't posted here for a very,very, long time. When I first left, I came here pretty consistently. It was a connection with all of you that was healing, and comforting..thank-you. For those who have recently left, or are considering leaving...I just wanted to post something. I can tell you my experiences in the ministry, but what I really want to tell you is my experiences out of the ministry. I can't speak for people, only for myself. I had a very difficult time after I left the ministry. I didn't know if I was coming or going. I felt like I was so confused and mixed up and didn't trust anyone. And I was wondering where my answers and healing was going to come from. God had my life in His hands and I really wasn't aware of it at the time. Through some circumstances, I wound up in a 12 step program...much to my surprise let me tell you. And the only reason, at first, that I thought I was there, was to help them! (I laugh at that now). It was them who helped me. I found that I have an addictive personality. And so started my journey into recovery. Recovery of my life, of myself, of my world. I had no idea where I was going and what my life would look like. The only thing I knew and definitely sure of was...I couldn't go back...only forward. That was in 1995. I had been out of the ministry since 1988..and those years basically I think I just hung on...till I got in recovery. It's been over 10 years since I went to that group of 12 steppers. My life has DRAMATICALLY changed. IN a way only God could do. I felt in the beginning I was really in such a place, that not even GOD could put me back together, but He did. I can only say that I have done things that when I was in the ministry I would have never considered. Like counseling/therapy--12 step groups, church etc....all the things I said NEVER would you see me do....yet I did. I knew it was God leading and I knew if I was to have the life He desired for me to have then I had to let go of some old ideas, and move forward with some new. In this journey, I've learned that I had a chemical imbalance and got on medication. Changed my life. I didn't know that was a even a problem until I went to counseling. I thank God I did. I've learned that other people can be right, I've learned that I am not that important. I've learned that I have character flaws and God has graciously and gently helps me change. The old transformation verses...they are very true. I've learned that I don't know everything about everything. My life today looks nothing like it did 16 years ago. I'm for the most part happy, and blessed. And it's not about "things" I have or haven't got. IT's about the inside of me changing. There is little anger, or bitterness now. There is peace and serenity. My whole attitude has changed towards God and people. I'd say God did miracles for me in many many ways and many many times. All of which would take eons of time to write about, such as healing from cancer. In the beginning of this journey, God spoke to me in His word and He shared Daniel chapter 4 about the king...losing his mind. And God restored his sanity and life when he finally acknowledged that God is God. That was what started me on this journey and that is what keeps me on the path. God told me, I'll do that for you if you acknowledge me as God. I had alwaysthought that is what I had done.But I started learning what he meant...ANd I continue to learn how to let Him be who He is in my life..God. I'm sorry to take so much room, I had a lot to say and I've actually condensed it. I'm active in a church, and I'm active in a biblical based recovery program called Celebrate Recovery. It is where God has placed me to help others find their path and find God. I wish you all well on your journey. We are never alone and God has so much for us....things we haven't even thought or dreamed about yet. Keep on Keeping on...it's worth it! God Bless You All, Newlife

Hello Everyone, I haven't been at the GS for awhile, but just kind of was scoping out some of the Messages and saw IL. Yes, I know Karen Workman, Dawn Clarey (Now in the Carolinas) Does anyone know where Ernie and Claudia are at? What great people. Cheryl Dahl too..Ernie's sister married Jim Farrara. Reading all these names brought back a lot of fond memories....thanks! Newlife

Forgiveness---I am thankful for the post on this. For a long time I just harbored the anger and resentment. Through some insight of others and them passing on the wisdom to me, I have forgiven. Resentment and anger will just eat me a live when I continue to "Play it over and over again". Forgiveness doesn't mean letting someone off the hook...and I think that may be a reason that people don't forget. It means that I forgive them, even though their wrong is still wrong...God will take care of it...But forgiving them, Well, I am the benefactor of that because they probably will never know that I have forgiven them....I'll not see them or talk to them again. Forgiving them and letting it go....frees me. Otherwise I am tied to the anger, situation, etc. Forgiving is a process not an event. It took time for me to let it go. But with the help of God I did....and I moved on! Blessings!

Happy Birthday Ralph---- May you have many many more and all of God's love and blessings! Loved to hear you teach the word!!