Ham

I would like to know where Uncle Hairy has gone. His "Santa Claus routine" is what got me going.. laughed about a day and a half. He needs to step up and take the credit (responsability?) for this.

Ha ha ha ha.. but seriously, I do not think anybody in their right mind would want to see me in a toga..

Hairy, I volunteer to help with sleigh duty. I will be an elf (naughty variety). I can gift wrap the toilets with glad or saran wrap. When they try to catch me, I will blink my eyes and disappear.

"You will be expected to stand, briefly."

And don't even think about bringing a bathing suite, or anything that can remotely be used for "extracurricular activities," we will have your rear firmly planted on the hardest hard as a tack folding chair for the duration of the event.

And, do not bother to bring the forty year old acid for the chief presenter. A complete waste of money. "a brain on drugs" assumes the existence of a brain to begin with.

Yep. At least you have the comfort knowing it will be a lot emptier when you leave! At least you can "travel Light" er.

He was the best the ministry had to offer.. at least at that time. I should have started the thread, "what NOT to bring to the special." 1. Your brain. 2. etc..

Same guy that thought that drinking water would give him more energy. Learned it in PFAL you know, or so he thought..

That's funny J.T. The thing I began to wonder is: with so many "life changing" or "earth moving" teachings, how is it that most innies live such drab, bore me to death, lives? In our area, one of the former "leaders" claim to fame was that he ate three times a day, and would not mix breads and vegetables. No kidding! That was one examples that he gave to show us how he lived the "Word of God."

But coal is too expensive. Forget the coal,just a couple of lumps would suffice.

and, please give them a couple lumps of coal for me.

Mr. Hairy, don't forget a couple of bottles of dish soap to add to the dye..

Wouldn't suprise me. One last suggestion: go to Krogers, buy one of those precooked chickens or a cornish hen. Open it in the hotel room, enjoy your portable "thanksgiving meal."

Yep. More bone-chilling than a nun armed with a yard stick..

The only problem with crashing the party is that we might meet a beretta bearing second rate security guard. May be no problem though.. probably shoot himself in the foot..

The parallels are striking. In real life, they are fighting over control of a different kind of "empire". Yippee! 200 posts, I feel like I have "arrived" heh heh.

My apologies to Mr. Hagman. He certainly cannot look THAT old.

I think I figured out why Dallas again, and again, and again. It's just like the old series Dallas! Only this time they have Ms. Rifenbark as J.R. Come to think of it, she kind of looks like an old wrinkled Larry Hagman..

Skyrider, just curious. What happened to B*** Gr***e? Subjected to one of TWI's "retirement parties"?

Like Saul and the Witch of Endor, they probably keep one curse and spittle thrower in case they ever need one..

But I could be wrong. I am sure that the BOT has their "to bring" list too. Must always include one or Martinpukes trained spittle and curse throwers.

Yep. I can almost hear it.. "you recalcitrant b*@#^&!, how dare you infect the true household with your..." etc. etc. Sorry, I forgot Martinpuke was gone.

The chief speaker would be livid. "Why are you not standing with everyone else?" "Hey, I think I recognize you. Didn't we meet a couple nights ago?"

Alternatively, you could bring use one of those kinky blow up persons. They would never notice..