firebee

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!" from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Seems that a laugh or two could be used. Here's mine* One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I can't figure out how to get started." Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?" "From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde. The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box." "Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde. "Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes." * should have posted this in the 'blonde joke' section, but here it is............... from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Taliban One-Liners: Q:Why does Osama always carry a piece of **** in his pocket? A: It's his photo ID Q: What do bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing, yet. Q: How do you play Taliban bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1... Q: What is the Taliban's national bird? A: Duck Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble. Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? A: So they can see their Air Force. Q: What does osama bin laden and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from! Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of ****? A: the bucket Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan? A: Two days. Q: Why don't bin laden's people eat **** sandwiches? A: they can't stand bread Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day? A: because the camels can't handle it Q: How do you break up an Afghani Bingo? A: B52 from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM Pacific Standard Time by US Special Forces. The prime suspect of the recent terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground passage in a remote mountainside of southern Afghanistan. Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained: "moments before his capture, the United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across the southern Afghanistan countryside, and the little prick just popped up!" from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend and stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..." The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!" from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!" from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner. Right after dinner Before sex A friendly frolic After love making 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. Before you Kiss The act of Kissing Results of your Kissing from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Happy, Happy birthday Smiles are sent from us here at GS for you to see Celebrate you its ok cause its your day from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Please don't send him 'Playbible' or 'Pentscripture' or 'Hustleword'......... He may have a coronary over the pics........oops I meant articles from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Wishin ya a wunnerful celebration from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

HAVE FUN ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY Tie one on and have a blast! I'll try to do a 'two-step in your honor Happy Birthday from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

SIGNS Tesla (Arthur Thomas) (originally performed by the Five Man Electrical Band [1971]) And the sign says "Long-haired freaky people need not apply" So I put my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that, huh, me working for you" Chorus: Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs ....in' up the scenery, breakin' my mind Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign And the sign says "Anybody caught trespassing will be shot on sight" So I jumped the fence and I yelled at the house Hey! What gives you the right! To put up a fence and keep me out, or to keep Mother Nature in If God was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, you're some kind of sinner (chorus) Oh, say now mister, can't you read You got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat You can't watch, no you can't eat, you ain't supposed to be here And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" - uh! (Solo) And the sign says "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray" But then they passed around a plate at the end of it all And I didn't have a penny to pay So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own *friggin' sign I said, "Thank you Lord for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", oh (chorus repeats 2x) *changed the word for posting purposes from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

If you need a roof over your head, I have one to offer If you need both a roof and food to sustain you, I have that too. I don't want to see you homeless or hungry. I love you, though we've never met, and I offer cause I want to...........if our lives were reversed I know you would do the same. In heart, prayer, blood sweat and tears, I'm there for you if you need from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

I can get the above mentioned N'Sync song to my hard drive....gettin it to you is another matter I can burn CD's and send them, but posting tunes is not one of my long-suits If I can help, lemme know from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

The Power of Love Huey Lewis & The News Words & Music by Johnny COLLA, Chris HAYES & Huey LEWIS Song of the film "Back to the future" The power of love is a curious thing make a one man weep, make another man sing Change a hawk to a little white dove more than a feeling that's the power of love Tougher than diamonds, bricks like cream Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream make a bad one good make a wrong one right power of love that keeps you home at night Chorus 1 : You don't need money, don't take fame Don't need no credit card to ride this train It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes but it might just save your life That's the power of love That's the power of love First time you feel it, it might make you sad Next time you feel it it might make you mad But you'll be glad baby when you've found that's the power makes the world go'round Chorus 2 : And it don't take money, don't take fame don't need no credit card to ride this train It's strong and it's sudden it can be cruel sometimes but it might just save your life They say that all in love is fair yeah, but you don't care But you know what to do when it gets hold of you and with a little help from above you feel the power of love you feel the power of love Can you feel it ? Hmmm Chorus 3 : It don't take money and it don't take fame don't need no credit card to ride this train Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel you won't feel nothin' till you feel you feel the power, just the power of love That's the power, that's the power of love You feel the power of love you feel the power of love feel the power of love from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

I resemble that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehehe from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

but my heart speaks this.......outloud i miss you from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Ex, I'm not sure what to think, much less what to say. If you will permit me, allow me the privelage of saying 'thanks' Thanks for who you are and thanks for what you do. You give, not gave, you GIVE hope to the tired and weary. This is not a pompous platitude to you, just a way of thanking you for what you did and do, for me May I play for you a song? SISTER CHRISTIAN Night Ranger Sister Christian Oh the time has come And you know that you're the only one To say O.K. Where you going What you looking for You know those boys Don't want to play no more with you It's true You're motoring What's your price for flight In finding mister right You'll be alright tonight Babe you know You're growing up so fast And mama's worrying That you won't last To say let's play Sister Christian There's so much in life Don't you give it up Before your time is due It's true It's true yeah Motoring What's your price for flight You've got him in your sight And driving thru the night Motoring What's your price for flight In finding mister right You'll be alright tonight Motoring What's your price for flight In finding mister right You'll be alright tonight (repeat) Sister Christian Oh the time has come And you know that you're the only one To say O.K. But you're motoring You're motoring Motor on my friend, with God's speed Hugs and luv from a bug from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

bowtwi had me crackin' smiles from ear to ear My input........Bridge Covering Broken Toilets Artist anyone? Ferris? great thread from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

on my knees, praying asking God to make things right looking in the eyes of people I never knew and asking God to make things right from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

SMOKEY ROBINSON SOLO: Cruisin' Baby let's cruise, away from here Don't be confused, the way is clear & if you want it you got it forever This is not a one night stand, baby, yeah so Let the music take your mind, ooh Just release & you will find You're gonna fly away Glad you're goin' my way I love it when we're cruisin' together The music is played for love, Cruisin' is made for love I love it when we're cruisin' together Baby tonight belongs to us Everything's right, do what you must & inch by inch we get closer & closer To every little part of each other ooh baby, yeah So Let the music take your mind Just release & you will find You're gonna fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together The music is played for love, Cruisin' is made for love I love it when we're cruisin' together Cruise with me baby Cruise Baby let's cruise Let's flow, let's glide Ooooh let's open up, & go inside & if you want it you got it forever I can just stay there inside you & love you baby, Let the music, take your mind Just release & you will find You're gonna fly (away) Yeah, I'm glad you're going my way I love it, when we're cruisin together The music is played for love, Cruisin' is made for (love) I love it, I love it, I love it You're gonna fly away Yeah, glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together (The music is played for love) It's love music (Cruisin' is made for love) from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Bring on the cornbread Kay, and Weout make it both ways Party on..........let's party from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Chatty dear.....I missed you too MJ........... bring the cards Millions........good to meet you Ex10.........what can I say? You are always 'on time' for my little parties..........thanks Did I mention that I would be dancin' later on tonite?? from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

Hi all you beautiful party goers...........I'm back home and the BIG GRILL is ablaze No burgers tonight, just thick juicy steaks, a great tossed salad, corn on the cob and Texas toast..................... oh yeh........plenty of beverage too!!! I missed you all Kay, an e-mail is coming soon.... I've been praying for you and Tim tons & tons MJ........I haven't met "millions" yet but the 'smoker' is cool It is so good to be home again!!!!!!!!! I have truly missed all of you GSers'..... Hugs and kisses to all PS. The big grill is fired up...........the cookout is on me.....can you say "steak?" from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

You can go to your local pet store for an abundant supply too!!!! seriously I have heard that 'Iams' is one of the best from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'