Belle

johniam - There are things I gave up for TWI lent (love that term!) and I did slowly start going back to some of those things in the last year before I left. I've also picked up a few new hobbies and volunteer jobs. It is helping. I just feel so far behind sometimes and even though I know it's going to take time, I just want to make sure I'm on the right path and sometimes wish it would go faster. I should just slow down an enjoy the journey, eh? ;)-->

coolchef - I'm so sorry for what you went through! Congratulations on your new President status! :D--> Living well truly is the best revenge and the best for us, isn't it?

Thanks, y'all! WW, those interactions with all kinds of people are what I think I missed most in TWI. I love getting to meet people from all walks of life and with all kinds of interests. I haven't studied Buddha yet, but I have enjoyed learning about other religions and cultures related to them. I'll definitely check out "Finding Your Own North Star" - thanks for the suggestion! Love ya too!

Lindy, I'm having to clean the spew from my computer screen! I'm sure that could have been very traumatic. :D--> Metal urinals for women???? Who's grand idea was that?? Y'all really aren't making me wish I had ever attended a ROA. ;)-->

sky, they were still doing them when I left, but I think it's only because they hadn't hit all the regions yet. If they try to do it again, I seriously doubt you'll see repeat customers on that one! It was run of the mill services, nothing special, no special holidays or anything like that. I imagine that's because they can twist arms to get the 250 mile radius people to fill the lower portion of the auditorium for those things. From what I understand, after they had to start loosening the ties that bind, most of the 250-mile people quit going every Sunday. I can't says I blame them. I hated driving to the other side of town for phone hook-ups. It wasted the whole effen day (and right in the middle of most NASCAR races, too!)

ROFLMAO, Oak! Whre are those drums (and cymbal) when you need them? Ka-dunk-kunk Ching!

Sermons I've seen? My neighbors and very dear friends are retired but they are busier than most working people doing all kinds of beneficial things in the community. 80 years old and they had a Russian exchange student for a year. They did a wonderful job with her, too. They have an elderly, sick couple that they include in all the holiday plans so that they will not be alone. They drive them to the grocery store because the couple can't drive. They volunteer to help with mentally handicapped children and I would be here all day talking about how much they do including the wonderful, helpful things they've done for me. I have many co-workers who go out of their way to do and say nice things for people at work and many of them are done anonymously. One co-worker is going through a very rough time in her life, but you would never know it. She is constantly giving of her time outside of work to help those less fortunate than she. And, of course, you all who post on here! :D--> You warn those who may be considering getting involved with that destructive group; you help those who are newly out or wanting out; you help each other with practical non-TWIt related issues of life; you share your joy, insight and wisdom freely. You all have a lot to give and you give it without hesitation! :D-->

WhiteDove, thank you. I did not understand at first. Jeff's site is very good; I got stuck on there for a little while yesterday and will have to go back. :)--> It really stinks having to hide things from your family and not being able to read whatever you want to, especially things about spiritual abuse. When I took the book home, my ex took it from me and begged me to wait 30 days and then I could have the book back if I felt like it at that time. By the time the 30 days rolled around he had forgotten what he did with it. I went and bought another one, but hid that one from him. The fact that someone can't share everything with the one person they should be able to, is very disturbing and difficult to handle. That alone should have been a deciding factor for me, but I'm a little slow and a little too optomistic at times. It only took me five more years to see it. I hope it doesn't take others that long; life really is too short.

Thank y'all very much! Rascal and Oak, you two are priceless! :D--> You know how much I care for both of you! Thank you for sharing your private conversation with us, it helps a lot! I think in TWI it was so hard to find balance. We were so expected to be perfect and in TWIt terms that means extreme. Those of us trying so dang hard to be perfect because of our hearts and/or because of our fear were too quick to behave much more severely with unreasonable demands on ourselves and those around us. Oak, I think I went from being the passive, abused underdog to the scrappy domineering wife. I was tired of being constantly reminded that my husband was the head of our house and, in our house, that meant I was to be a silent, obedient partner. Like the wild animals who exhibit the fight or flight reactions to attack, I began to fight. I became obstinate and antagonistic. I also began passive-aggressive retaliation by lying and drinking and trying to stay away from home as much as possible. I quit trying to please my husband and I began to resent any time he had control of a situation. I think that worked both ways in TWI. With most families one of the partners is the dominant one and the other becomes the wounded wild animal. I saw men castrated by women who took liberties with their "keeper of the home" responsibilities. The men weren't in control except in public and outside the home (like in the office). I saw it quite a bit with some wc couples. The guys knew how to talk, teach and confront people, but when you hear them talk about at home or hear their wives talk, you KNEW that the man's self-esteem had to be so beaten down that he didn't realize any of his good qualities. My friend has been very touched by the prayers and offers of advice and support. Y'all are truly wonderful and, even if it seems to you that you are repeating the same thing over and over again, please continue to do so. More and more people are finding GSpot and continue to wake up from the fog they've been in. :D--> I KNOW FIRST HAND!

I seriously doubt I, or anyone else for that matter, can top Skyrider's. You hid the nail on the head, my friend. :)--> a fox of liars a donna of Eves a howard of wimps a don of deceivers a fellowship of pawns a dybbuk of moneyhands a bastille of benefactors

So true, diazbro! I vividly remember my brother and I pompously teaching my parents all the scholarly things we had learned and asserting our much more superior education in the Bible and research to my parents. I cringe now and realize the look on my daddy's face wasn't jealousy at all but real concern and fear of what his kids had gotten involved with.

IF MDVaden has been told that it's profitless to be posting on here and to try to have a dialog with us and IF it has been suggested to MDVaden that he avoid GSpot altogether, THEN I hope that he realizes he is being manipulated, isolated from hearing the "other side of the story" and that the WAYGB is alive and well. What would a grown man think of being involved with an organization that spies on....errr...monitors websites that expose the ugly side and hidden skeletons in the whited sepulchre of the group? What would he think of them suggesting what he should do with his time, mind and thoughts? I'm NOT saying that's what happened, but I AM saying that it's highly likely and I HOPE that IF that's what happened that it is a wake up call to MDVaden that things on here just MIGHT be true. Hopefully, IF this is what happened, it will be a major red flag for him that he can no longer ignore. After all, IF this is what happened, it's happened exactly as we said it would and HOPEFULLY that would lend credibility to what he has read on here. But then again, MDVaden could just be on vacation.

Liam Neeson Les Miserables Uma Thurman * Spelling doesn't count does it? :D-->

Yes! Or I'll talk to the devil about forcing you to eat a pineapple non-pizza with anchovies.

I thought Crown went with Coke. Rum goes with fruity drinks like Pina Colada, Mai Tai, Beachcomber and Caribbean Lover.

I think it's a very fitting judgement and I wish that we would actually see the authorities follow through with the cocktail. I do think he needs to suffer a little while on death row first, though. Steve!, check your PTs :)-->

Scarlet Johanson The Horse Whisperer Kristin Scott Thomas thought I was going to use Redford, didn't you?

Thanks WhiteDove! I do remember reading a lot of Jeff Rath's stuff. He's very good and very easy to read and understand. I'm posting the stuff here because I know of a few people who are lurking here who need to read this stuff. They can't order things or take things home with them because of their situations and I understand having been in that same situation. Posting it here, they have access to it and can print it out and burn it once they read it, or just read it at their leisure when they do get to come to GSpot. If you have additional posts or information that would be helpful, please do post what you can. Since it had already been posted before, Jeff wouldn't mind, would he?

My post got cut off. Most of what I learned of God, Jesus Christ, holy spirit and the Bible, I learned in the church I grew up in and from my parents. I am tempted to say that ALL that I learned from vee pee and the TWIt organization did not help my relationship with God or my relationship with my fellow man one whit. But I'm sure that's not enitrely accurate. However, I feel that my life is no better, more enriched or closer to God because of my involvement with TWI. I see value in my time in the church growing up. I see value in my time with non TWIt friends and family members, I see no value in my time with TWI. I realize that YMMV and that for many people, it does, but it's just not that way for me and probably because of WHEN I became involved (early 90's).

Actually, I think my posts have increased by about 1000% since getting out and divorced. :)--> excathedra better watch out! I'm going to catch up with her one day. Actually, I understand people not wanting to continue repeating themselves, but I think they don't realize how many innies really do lurk here and how much they help people who come on here but don't post. So many of you helped me when I was "in" and you probably don't realize that you did or how much you did because I was too scared to contact anyone for the longest time and even then it was a very select few. I actually LOVE reading your stories, experiences and thoughts over and over again. Sometimes you add more details that weren't there the first time or it triggers thoughts and things for me that I didn't initially catch.

Thin and Crispy BBQ is the best kind of pizza! Unless they're making a fried okra one now. :D-->

OM, are you equating vee pee with the word? --> --> --> And I didn't learn "the word" from vee pee. I attribute almost all I know from growing up

Sundays are for NASCAR in my house! :D--> In addition to the "strongly suggested" attendance on Sundays from the 250-mile radius, they have started "encouraging" people to sign up for limb and region bus trips to hq. I was in probably one of the largest regions and when we went, even with us there and another region, the auditorium was completely empty in the balcony and the back portion of the lower level. Let me tell you, a two day bus ride is NO FUN! It was a nightmare and I imagine that's an idea that's only going to work for TWI once. Everyone I spoke with said they wouldn't do the bus thing again and most of them couldn't afford a plane ticket in addition to all the other things TWI requires money for.

O&A, that's called a thong, whether it started that way or not, isn't it?

Okay, I've been out and free for less than a year now. I feel like I'm 25 years old again and picking up right where I left off when I got involved with TWI and got married. The thing is....I feel like I've lost touch with "me" and I've enjoyed the journey to rediscover myself. My path is probably very different from some and very similar to others. I've spent a great deal of time talking with old girlfriends and family members, reading books about chakras, The Power of Now, watching "What the Bleep" and visiting a local Methodist church....I've spent non-guilty time being a couch potato and watching "chick flicks", drinking beer and re-acquainting myself with the joys of NASCAR. I've bought a line dancing instructional video and been able to come into the chat room here on occasion. Between these things, anti-depressants and therapy I'm adjusting rather well, I think. I just still don't know where I want to go from here. I'd like to relocate back to the REAL south, but moving seems like such a chore and scary as I wouldn't know anyone where I moved to most likely (NOT that I have any friends here now that I'm "out" and divorced)... How did you adjust? What did you do to find yourself after leaving? Was it hard or easy for you? How about those of you who were raised in TWI? When you got out, do you feel you changed a lot once you had freedom to think and do what you wanted?