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Lanikaigal last won the day on April 20 2018

Lanikaigal had the most liked content!

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About Lanikaigal

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    Wants to sit at the counter
  • Birthday March 15

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    Cortlandt Manor, NY

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  1. A warm and open-hearted welcome to you, Leah! Your strength and bravery are so clear in your sharing here. Your honesty and openness touched me, and I hope that this site will be one more contributing factor that adds healing and loving support to your life. When I first "wandered into the Café," I did as you did -- lurked for a couple of years and then I joined as a member. There are some very wise folks here (each of whom have contributed to this thread!) and I'm thankful for all of them and what they've added to my own healing and emotional growth and self-awareness. This little poster might as well say "Welcome to Grease Spot Café" (instead of "Welcome to Life") because I know you will find all of those things here. So glad you're here. Again, welcome!
  2. Wow ... Rocky ... I just finished watching this and it was amazing to me the clear parallels to TWI. I even took notes, I was so struck by the uncanny similarities! The things I bolded are almost identical WAY stuff (imo): “A fun fact that all cults share is that they reject the label ‘cult.’ Even now 16 years since I left, my parents will give me a list of reasons why the Assembly was not a cult. So fine. It wasn’t a cult. It was an evangelical, fundamentalist, non-denominational, religious fringe group whose charismatic leader could do whatever it wanted, but it wasn’t a cult! . . . Because we had many mainstream religious beliefs. We wanted to return to the simple life of the early Christians.” Not sure how early … but also, ‘Do women really need equality’? So I guess, post Augustine, but pre-feminist early Christians.” “My grandparents, George and Betty [Victor and Dotsie] were in charge. George [Victor] was a fantastic public speaker, a charismatic leader, and an abusive, narcissistic pathological liar.” “The Assembly targeted college-aged kids, vulnerable because they’re on their own for the first time and they’re looking for a community, a place where they can connect with other people.” “Cults don’t want to be defined as a cult, because it empowers its members to take a critical look at it. Language in cults is controlled because language is powerful. {Ho-Ho Relo; Happy Household Holidays, just to name a couple.] This happens in the “real world” too. Despite what 98% of our world’s scientists say, let’s not call it ‘climate change’.” “Training homes [Way Homes] were the Assembly’s communal living homes where groups of people would live with an elder, his wife and kids. Basically, it was a super fun way of making sure we had no free time. [And a great way to have live-in housekeepers, cooks, baby sitters and grocery shoppers]!" "Cults are all consuming. They don’t allow their members to invest in a life outside of the group.” [You don't need full time jobs or careers -- unless it's window washing! -- or to go to school to develop a career; spreading the word over the world IS your "career" -- you're CORPS!] “When I left ... I started to see how small my world view really was. [Ain't that the truth! It took months of therapy to begin to even have an inkling in this regard!] … In a cult, when you leave you’re shunned. [Corps loyalty pledge or else "excommunication"; "Mark and Avoid" BS] Women, children and people of color were second-class citizens. There was emotional and psychological abuse, and there was also physical abuse [rampant sexual abuse]." “It takes a lot of work to unlearn behaviors after you leave something like that. And it was hard. There was a lot of questioning the paradigm I’d been raised to believe. [I felt like I was on the verge of an almost undefined, emotional breakdown of sorts for the first couple of months "out" ... or FREE, as she spoke of here: "But I can tell you that even the hardest day of freedom was better than the best day in a cult.” “Comedy for me is the best way for me to take ownership of my past.” I have a friend who also spent years in TWI who I visit now and then, and he has an uncanny ability to make insanely funny jokes about the experiences we both had in TWI ... and so in a sense, that helps me "take ownership of my past" through humor!! This was really cool to "stumble" on today, Rocky, as I haven't visited this site in months. Thanks so much for posting it!
  3. Hmmm. Just indulge me here in a wee bit of fantasy: Wouldn't it be interesting (and oh so sweet!) if LCM could ever be persuaded to attend a "party" somewhere, and all the invitees are people he used, abused, sexually assaulted, maligned, betrayed, slandered and smeared to others, M&A'd, etc.! They could each step up and tell their story. The problem is he hasn't a shred of humility to make the listening worthwhile. I do hope there is a day of reckoning coming for Twinkletoes in Tights..
  4. After reading this last, one choice word comes to mind: "motherf*#kers"! The despicable treatment you and your family received -- after decades of faithful service and SACRIFICE -- is so disturbing to me. The Boss will undoubtedly have some choice words for these TWIts when we "stand before him" one day.
  5. Take as much time as you need (obviously) ... I can only imagine how difficult it is to reconstruct from very difficult memories your pathway OUT. You were in for so many years. [I was in from '77 to '92. But really, after 1986 I'd only go to fellowships sporadically ... around the time folks were splintering off following either Geer or Lynn or Finnigan back in NY where I lived. Technically, I split for good around '92, but in reality, it was about the time of that '89 loyalty letter from LCM that I felt that ole rebel in me rising up (how dare he ask the corps to become loyal to HIM ... what the heck ever happened to Jesus?!) That's when I made the decision to walk away from twi ... but not fellowships. Somehow, I could separate the two, as there were a bunch of "rebels" in NYC around that time too, and we were all appalled by the dancing Okie's audacity displayed in that loyalty letter.] Just for a little levity here . . . and to illustrate just what we all GOT AWAY FROM -- and to remind ourselves of what we will never, ever, EVAH have to sit through again -- I thought I'd post this clip from Talk Soup! (I'm sure most here have seen it -- but when I do, I never cease to become so full of thanks for having gotten OUT!) Shoot me now! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-bojwApWyY
  6. Please keep on going. I'm particularly looking forward to "the haunting turbulence of the past (1981 - captivity) mixing with the present (1998 - extrication)." I cannot help but think that your recollections -- rich with such relevant observations, insights and conclusions -- will be significant to those perhaps who are still in who may one day find their way to GSC and who'll be able to breathe free again because of being able to deeply relate to the things you've written.
  7. I couldn't help but flash in my mind to that scene from Forrest Gump ... where he's exhausted and bedraggled from his endless running ... and in the middle of the road in the desert he just stopped! Yup, it was time. Thanks again -- I just cannot thank you enough, it seems -- for sharing these personal experiences and insights. So many of my own memories dove-tailed into yours and with that odd melding, such understanding has come as to how and why I was able to stay spun in the web the way I was for so many years. It was so many things -- "family" ... comaraderie ... shared noble purpose ... a feeling of "specialness" ("You're CORPS!") ... and for many of us, too, it was about communion with God and being around others who also loved God. Those are powerful motivators to continue on ... to keep on running! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKKmzmeU5-0
  8. OMG ... this is so insightful and spot on! Thank you!
  9. You know, I've been spending a good deal of time here today reading the newest posts on this thread, as well as many old posts (some going back to 2007!) I really only learned of GSC a few years ago, and it was probably meant to be that way, as I honestly didn't want anything to do with Wayworld -- wayfers, ex-wayfers, in-wayfers, etc. -- for many, many years! (I was busy living life in the real world, I guess, and I wanted it to stay that way!!) But since discovering this site -- and more specifically, since reading these timeline posts by Skyrider and others' comments to them here -- a lot of things I'd kept deep in the vault of my own heart have gently been exposed to some "light," and the result has been nothing but liberation and deeper understanding of just why and how I managed to be so deeply committed to something that captivated me for many of the most formative years of my young adult life. One of those old posts I discovered that I found incredibly revelatory, enlightening and so succinctly perfect in capturing the evolution of twi was in a thread I read today called “How Did the Ordination of Clergy Thing Work in TWI?” Reading about the behavior of the whole warped and authoritarian “chain of command” that keeps coming up repeatedly in Skyrider’s timeline posts here on this thread made me wonder how the heck the leadership got so oppressively intrusive not only in the lives of the “rank and file” believers but also in the region and COUNTRY leaders’ lives as well! It made me wonder about how so many “ordained clergy” could have gotten so far off the mark of being true servants of God. That’s when I stumbled on the post I’m referring to. Since – by way of the gracious and articulate recollections Skyrider is posting here -- we’re discussing the entire timeline of TWI … I thought this overall summation of how it went from what I believe was a genuine revival and movement of God to the aberration it has become would be good to post here. As I said, it’s an exchange between posters Jen-O and DWBH. Here is the exchange: Question from Jen-O to DWBH on June 3, 2008 Mr. Don’t Worry: I'd be interested in your perspective on something (since you were around back in 1970), and it seems to me that the way west and the way east came out of the jesus movement... and may have been part of an authentic move of God. But my question is: Do you think that "the way" became corrupt over time?... or was it corrupt right from the start? DWBH: “Thanks for your question...........I do have some thoughts regarding your question which, perhaps, may answer it in part. My perspective is based on hindsight, which, in many cases, may be "20/20", and, in this case, I believe it probably is. For the most part, I tend to agree that the "nature" of twi is difficult to separate from that of its founder, but the "organization" we "joined" was quite a bit more enigmatic than just the overtly pathological nature of its founder, because it did suck in quite a number of folks whose "nature", motivation, and heart were markedly different from those of its founder. I know that vic himself, along with Howard Allen, was "corrupt" well before 1970. His perversions – both doctrinal and personal – were habitualized by him, imho, by the time he left his denominational church in Van Wert in 1957. But twi really did'nt "take off" until after he finished filming PFAL in 1968, especially in the years and locations I mentioned in my first post on this thread The large influx of young, idealistic, "believers" in 1969 and throughout the decade of the '70's is what I was a part of. It was'nt vic or any of the "old timers" in Ohio who witnessed to me -- it was my hippie, musician friends whose genuine enthusiasm for "things spiritual" and whose marked "transformation through Christ" that caught my attention. And the many "miracles, signs and wonders" which, I believe, God wrought among us back in those days had nothing to do with vic's personal presence or involvement in our lives, but, quite the contrary, it had to do with our childlike, enthusiastic, and genuinely exuberant acceptance of Christ as our risen savior, and our innocent "believing action" upon the parts of the bible we were learning and accepting as "truth.” The fellowships we were a part of and bringing our friends and families to were really a lot of fun! And the fruit of the spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22,23 were evident in abundance, and were accomplishing their results in an atmosphere free from the control of vic and the growing cult machinery of HQ in New Knoxville! As a matter of fact, it was the ever increasing personal control exerted by vic with his increasing personal involvement in our lives and fellowships, which, imo, eventually stifled and strangled the genuine "revivals" God was energizing among the early twi fellowships. This was the fruit of vic's "ministry" being brought to bear upon the ministry of Jesus Christ. Vic’s profound corruption was becoming institutionalized among the innocent, geniune Christian fellowships God and Christ were "planting" around the USA, not just in twi, but in a broader "spiritual movement" that was far bigger than anything vic demanded credit for! Imho, vic's "ministry" sowed the "tares" of his personal and doctrinal perversions among the "good seed" God and Christ were sowing without any need of help from the "ministry" of "the teacher"! The more involved believers became with vic's programs (wow, way corps, "college" division, word in business, culture, etc., etc., etc.) and classes, the more the "tares" of his corruption took root and choked the innocence and purity of holy spirit and its fruit out of the lives and fellowships of the "good seed." And for those of us fortunate enough to have "tasted" and experienced genuine Christian revival, and who earnestly desired to see it continue and spread throughout "the world," unfettered by "man-made religion," the "vehicle" we thought God provided in twi, was hijacked by the "vehicle" vic provided in its stead, also called twi, but not "fueled" by god, but rather by the growing control and dominance of vic's personal perversions and corruption, eventually yielding its own "fruit" in the monster of hypocrisy, deceit, and abject immorality which the entire organization of twi grew into and remains to this day -- a monument to the legacy of the "ministry" of "the teacher," not the legacy of the ministry of Jesus Christ to the world. Fortunately, the two are NOT the same! So, jen-o, imo, vic was thoroughly and irreversibly corrupt by the late '50s, and it only took him 30 more years to thoroughly and irreversibly corrupt the entire organization he "founded," and which thousands of innocent "believers" built and paid cash for, for him in the '70's and early '80s, which he handed over to his "best friend" and to his oldest biological son, and the Neanderthal intellect of the doofus from Okie, so they could destroy it and its people in the late '80's and through the '90s, and which is now run by those who are the most loyal and faithful disciples of his perversions, lies and corruption, those who truly made vic's way, their way, which is the way international!............................peace.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddAucL0ioCA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2JPqk1AzHA
  10. I'm right there with you, Skyrider . . . Let the salutes begin!
  11. Oh man! I am (positively) overwhelmed, Skyrider, as I read these personal accounts of you and your family while in twi. I am finding myself experiencing so many personal memories of my own as I read your perspectives. What is happening mainly, though, is a really healthy and cathartic feeling of deep understanding within myself about my own time in twi. I am feeling a personal sense of liberation with every new bit of understanding that seems to come to me as I read your words! It's really a bit difficult to describe ... but the overwhelming result is a pure, positive catharsis! Thank you soooo very much for your generosity of spirit to take the time to share these personal recollections and experiences. Your sharing them is having a deep and positive impact on me. I feel so grateful to you!
  12. I'd like to join in on these thank-yous as well. Especially to Pawtucket for making this important and necessary site available. The good it does for many is clear and provable!
  13. wow ... what sweet humility here (don't want to embarrass you by that ... just writing what I saw/felt as I read this!) There's something so damn attractive and endearing to me about a humble man! Your wife and you sound like beautiful folks. : ) (I liked the "I started out small -- on vacation, mother's day, etc".!) Funny. Thanks for such refreshing honesty -- great to read! Funny -- I also have shed the twit indoctrination re: homosexuality ... actually, I'm somewhat ashamed I held it for quite a few years. It was so sickeningly judgmental. And when you consider that Twinkle Toes w/ the enormous forehead was a massive adulterer, it really infuriates beyond anything that he led the homo purges and messed up so many people's lives in the process!
  14. And yet another funny line ... too bad it is sadly true!
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