mj412

I believe sexual preditors, have power and money available to them and underground resource that can be availed when one of their own gets "hurt". I also believe woman who truly have a problem with a man who is unrelenting and abusive a network to remove them happens, they go to another state. It is often paid for by private donantion and runs like an underground railroad with families volunteering to house mom and the kids till the crises is better. praise God almighty if you only knew the volumes of people who care and it begins with a cps worker fighting and aware. See a state worker can not have a conflict of interest they can not side with one parent over the other or make a judgement, that is up to a judge and the evidence provided. it is difficult. But maybe sometimes a mom who is fear for her life can be staying with relatives or in a shelter waiting for the nightmare to end. and then someone metions a "friend" who has plane or bus tickets for tommorrow and leaves a phone # by accident . timing is everything in the courts, and a parent has to be strong enough to go and trust a stranger. They have to be strong enough to love their kids more than their boyfriend or husband their family their own life as they know it today. personly I believe it is the LORDS network. that is right that stupid old CPS worker knows nothing about how that person knocked on your door and said IM a friend and I want to help. true enough. they may know where your hiding in fear or what the next court case may determine and maybe even your address, but hey all that is public information once they get involved hmmm.... now im crying over this stupid thread. WE are making changes, today if a domestic abuse call is made to the police BOTH mom and dad are charged. thank God!!! As both of the idiots are hand cuffed and put into the car it is a CPS worker who is called in to take the kids to a place where maybe for the first time in their life they can sleep in peace without the choas their parents give their life. Now BOTH parents have to answer for why this is happening to the innocent children. it is as it should be. Before he can go to jail all the paper work is done and ready to go to court to get him out of the house and guess what???? charges are dropped in 93% of the cases because he is the only one who can pay the rent or has money for food . or the mom is found dead or close to it after good old boy brother bubba paid for his bail. and guess what for sure she dropped the charges that time!! go figure! it is a fine line the police walk as well. Templelady we are all sorry you were abused for 7 years. It kind of speaks volumes on your ability to keep your children safe, we help who we can and a mom willing to put up with abuse for as many years as you claim and never ask for help for her kids is not a person able to put her kids first and foremeost. You claim to be the only one in the household with money. YOu could have taken the kids and left. why didnt you? Im sorry. I truly am. EVen if they do take out one of these men the womans next boyfriend will also abuse and maybe be worse . it is a cycle of abuse it is learned love it is attachment to what you know as life. It is learned before a child can speak for themselves. They know it is a secret kind of love that no one eles can really understand not even yourself. why do ya stay? maybe you didnt get involved in another abuse relationship or have more children to give to a victimizer. and Im happy for ya you paid a heavy price for sure for the lesson. But in fact most abused woman end up with another abuser unless they get the help they need for themselves and their children. How is it a attraction how do they know which woman will put up with abuse and allow their children to be abused or at least never notice ? they know because it is a type of learned behaviour a learned "love", as a very young child it is imprinted in both male and females. And they may even know it is wrong of course they do but it is the system or the social worker or the churchs problem NOT them! They love their children very much and they do really love them as they know how. It may be the children need to be put with the other parent who is willing to work in the system I didnt say they were a better parent I said these are extremly troubled families with a very troubled past and they need help and to be involved in the only way any agency can do any type of monitoring or resource. options are limited. but agin in your case you didnt allow them a chance to help you, you gave your kids up. in that case the state has to allow the other parent full rights to their kids, no questions asked. their hands are tied. ya know writing about this stuff doesnt thrill me and my motive is not to attack anyone, but I believe education is in order about why people end up in the crap we do. I have been through alot in my life, suffice to say my life has been no crystal stair, I do not post my troubles on an internet for people to attack. I sought help and I found prayer works. I see a world full of evil folks willing to hurt one another and destroy anything beautiful, but more important I recall the people who can stand on what He promises who can endure a mom torment as the judge orders supervised vistation with her husband and the toddlers dad because we all have rights as Americans. I see people willing to say we need to have priorities and education and a willing to understand HOW does this type of crime happen? The bible calls it generational mental health considers it a cycle of abuse. When the boy who was molested by his dad and quick and powerful intervention does not happen at a very young age guess what he thinks love is when he is a dad ? Alittle girl is silent about how mom or dad touches her and then has sex or even tried to tell mom once but she didnt really hear her , maybe it was the pills she took to cope or just the fact daddy hit her alot. or she was always at a bible meeting or work. And daddy said he would kill thebaby if he told anyway so she loved her parents the best she could and grew up to be a fine upstanding woman college educated and always did her best...a good girl. She also will be attracted to what she knew as a mans love as a child she will love the type of man who loved her as a child. He will be the father for her children and She will not have ears to hear what she was never allowed to speak. Temple lady I do hear you. Do I blame the victim? those engaged in behaviours that hurt innocent children need to stop. Those who abuse children learned to abuse as children. oftentimes influence such as drug use or alcoholism has been used from a young age to cope with the reality of the abuse and some will NEVER admit or even truly rememebr when it all started to go bad kind of like their whole life type of thing.. they are victims it is sad. I do not say fry the bastard or kill all the girls who make children for them I say take the kids away and take them away as far as you can forever and stay with them for a lifetime to be sure IT STOPS! So how does one in four girls end up molested and one in five boys ????? today ?? how because they are good decent people they are your family they are your friends and they are ya know very understanding and good with kids . they know your pain they understand, they love your family and you them. they look normal like shellon said. victims become victimizers.

children are alone without supervision after school , a cpw worker would help the family find and arrange funding for after school care . so many families can barely make it gas is almost 3 bucks, rent, and daily living takes a toll when both parents are forced to work to live. In NY state it is against the law to leave your child with an unlicensed baby sitter who is paid. gramma does not live nearby andthe babysitter quit, boss said one more day off and your fired, and landlord says one more day late and your out of a place to live. who can aford to stay home and watch someone eles children for free and it gets complex and difficult when they quit or something happens etc. life brings many issues. cpw has the resources and funds to find the resources needed toHELP families . they are not the enemy and not to feared UNLESS your really not able to be a good and loving parent to your children. A child is reported by the school as having no coat and often appears tired in the day, Cpw talks to thechild and finds out they have been living in the car as a family and cant afford a coat just yet but maybe next week when mom or dad gets paid. A cpw worker can set this familiy up in emergency housing and provide free meals and clothes to help them get back on their feet. In sexual abuse cases it is very dificult and Itell you they send only the top workers and it is monitored heavy from many many people because of the stress level involved. Many times the family is in shock and unwilling to believe the allegations and although it is changing it is very difficult to procede. sexual crimes are criminal as well so you have TWO courts involved, criminal courts need a much higherstandard of evidence, MUCH higher. pregnancy, broken bones and a full and abiding confession from a child old and strong enough to take on his loving and good parents in every other way.. that is criminal court. Lawyers and darn good lawyers play in the criminal court for the money to be had and let me say these goons have money and often can get it for the best defense possible. it is often a long lengthy trail with much testimony from co-workers and friends and community , the child suffers from missing his life and home and family and the only life he/she has ever known and will often change his mind. DA can not take cases to lose and are forced to plea bargin out in these crimes MOST of the time. Family court is different in its focus , the evidence is very very different in family court its focus is safegaurding children and providing resources to HELP keep the family intact. A good family court judge and CPW will and often are the only safety net a CHILD has to survivie. even if it means staying in a family for years( sometimes through two or three generation even!) saying Hello how are ya buddy ? to make their life more difficult and less able to carry on business as ususal. I do not consider this harrassment because I know they can not aford or have any desire to be in a family that does not need their services. to many cases to few workers if you saw the caseload of just one worker you would agree.. if a family is safe and able to maintian the safety and wellness of their children CPS is the very first ones to drop their services. Sadly we all have heard the storys of how CPS was involved in a family in the past, and then something tragic happens again. child abuse repeats itself, often in a small city it is the same families needing resources gramma did mom does dad and brother have the same problem. it is not a large population that has extreem abuse it is often within the same families and it spreads, and continues from them because they refuse to have the help they need and carryit to other generations. most cases are not so grandious and news worthy they are just families struggling to make it through a crisis and need some help.

Temple lady I simply answered shellons question to me. and no shellon I do not disclose personal information on the net. sorry if your really disappointed somehow I think not. I praise Jesus christ and His ability to lead those who have ears to hear and to truly Love one another in action and truth, without His mighty grace all of us would be desperate. I thank God He promises He will never abandon or forsake His children. God and His Holy son are the only good we have. My god can raise the dead He can part the seas, He can do all things I truly doubt dept of social services will stop Him from setting His people free. Temple lady I do not think the services we have are perfect nor do I think they are evil, they are just people involved in work trying to get a job done, it truly is the LORD who advocates and defends Gods people, and yes I have witnessed some take their faith to the betterment of many many families and communities, I believe in God you see and all He has is people here on earth to love one another and worship HIm.

Read it again she said she didnt want to fight it, so she called it quits, rather than go to trial.

yep bought and paid for. thank God.

cool water since you like to say OMG alot , God provides for my family, not social services or drugs. so while your screaming for Him ask Him for the truth . or just keep ranting on with speculation and accusations, every one has their choices in life.

temple lady you do not stand accountable to me. you need not explain anything to anyone, you chose to tell your story on this forum. I personly would be dead before I gave my children over to a drug dealing child molester as you describe your ex. that is me. what I do not think is correct is "twi" called any authority and told them anything, they do not invest in humans in such a manner . in other words they frankly do not give a dam. is is possible someone from twi made a telephone call. yes. as this thread shows many people involved in the organization had personal agenda and even gripes with individuals and alot of family and friends got involved together and close ties where formed. maybe Mo ****** the worng person off or her hubby had a person willing to tell them you were suffering to the point they felt you could not parent your children, and you agreed. Yes shellon I have a very rich past and present with those who advocate for children in the courts and otherwise. it isnt about judgement sure a judge calls the shots it is the law, and consel is soughtby those directly involved in the case of problems facing the family, A family court primary mission to to keep the family intact and hepled by any means possible. A judge who consistently puts children into a foster care system or other wise living off the taxpayer will not be a judge long. Family court judges are voted into office. People who vote care about where money is spent and what is effective and helpful for the community at large for the most part.In temple lady case she admited she could no longer parent her children , no one judged her as unable to parent her children but her self. I may feel a certain manner will work for my personal life but certainly not all parents can or do raise their children in my personal style or opinions. the law is written for a safe gaurd as best as it can be and many are working on it everyday to do better i praise all the workers in the trenches with families trying to struggle thru such deep and abiding issues in life. I think it is a system as all system go, it is political and costly and not always able to fix the complex problems families face but it is the only one we have, I willing pay for the services and do look at the outcomes in my area . social workers must work and they work hard and long ALL of them ,theycan burn out easy for a reason. very little pay and an ungrateful community for the most part but most are in it because they want to help families or they can not or do not stick around to long. CPS workers are on my top five angels unawares group I pray for . It is very sensational to read the paper, and hear about the one that failed and the child who died at the hand of an abuser, but this isnt the life and blood of what it is, it is the hundreds of cases and more added everyday on each desk , and the person willing to go into drug infested neighborhoods and very troubled families taking their own personal safety as only a second thought and help them sort through itall and fix the issues so the family can survive and often times floursih after their intervention. they are unsung heros truly. Successful outcomes do not get in the papers or get posted on internet forums . people feed off filth not wellness when searching for something to take the focus off their own life and on how another must be so much worse. It is very easy to say well isnt he just a scumbage and talk about how he should fry . YET a true step up would be to go into a conversation with them and try to work with the laws we do have in place to avoid another generation repeating the learned behaviour of abuse or neglect. CPS workers, family court judges, lawyers advocating for children in the courts know the mess people can get into in life first hand every single day and still are able and willing to get in the fight with some of the most ill individuals and help in any way they are able. Instead of talking about how terrible this or that must be they actualy attempt to do something with a solution... front lines of defense against the very scum of the earth to HELPin action and truth I consider each and every one and consider the work noble and very very needed today. well you asked shellon and there is my opinion.

your story is why I wrote what I did about Gods grace in a family. your not alone in dealing with misfortune. or drama in the family or criminal courts. these things happen every moment of the day. I never said I trusted social workers or the courts far from it, I have a judge and a ruler and a King that takes care of those He calls by name. His name isnt money or corrupt power it is Jesus christ. I personly owe eevry grace I have lived to HIM and Him alone. I have never been disappointed. that is my story. It is as exciting as tales of woe and injustice it is a peaceful righteousnes story of adventure and strength. far to deep and honest even for words sometimes. But He can handle any adversity in life. God loves families and Jesus said to not forbid the little ones to come to HIM. I would not doubt you when you say it is a corrupt world we live in and sorry sad pathetic cases are had every day... every moment of every day. I only say we have a friend and attorny bigger and better than any man made system and He has won every single time. thank God I know HIm and I thank God for His HOLY Son in my life. think what you will speak of what you will Im here to praise God for the grace I have seen in much adversary and trouble. I am just being honest when I say I do not understand your choice to give your children away, but it is your life temple lady you must live it not me, I make no judgement. I pray to live in 'service" to HIM only as do many many others who are out in this world loving god listneing to His directives and getting the job done.

no Im not micheal jackson nor do i have a wheel chair anywhere . are you making stuff up ? I am not disabled in any way I work over forty five hours a week have a home and a large loving family and grand children . mean little people? lol sticks and stones .no not little or mean . I understand people get upset with the truth .

Is that a threat? or what? um no I do not think I will. and this is not a thread of bullies who need to control others by any means possible. none of this is so outrageous ya know. a convicted child molester was in the ranks of a large group of kids and adults . a mom gave up custody of her kids and blames everyone eles . it is pathetic. common happens everyday. has little or nothing to do with god or twi.

I think the truth I learned from the bible helped me keep and raise my children. I still cant imagine a life without the truth from the book. God and I both agree both are a blessing to life. No one has ever had to make a choice between them rather the bible was given to help one in any position in life. and this is a bad thing? try not to twist or take thing out of context. the idea is I would probably not have had the abilities I have within His grace nor a knowledge or a relationship without the bible these in my life are more important than the choice of whether to have children. I chose both. Parenting is a job or a role people do. Being born again believing God and trusting what is written is a lifestyle. I wouldnt dare raise kids without God today. I know my family was and is blessed by God who loves us and honors my prayers, I would never have been able to do it without Jesus Christ and his loving kindness. God blesses all we do in life. The records in the bible speak of a man who decided his children were more important than what God said to do, and bad results happen. People lose their kids everyday in this evil world... it truly is idol worship to put your Kids in the same vein as a Father who loves us all. both are choices. but you can have one without the other for sure. Goey facts are facts and the fact are clear in that Mo states she gave her children over to this man . for her reasons. again I say that is her choice and circumstances may have been such she felt she needed to for her health or whatever. She didnt even have her kids taken away she gave them away to a man she knew was an abuser . and now she is to be pitied as a victim? sorry I do not get it. that doesn not make her wrong in her choices we all make choices but I would not be very proud of it and ranting about how it is all TWI problem these kids got abused.

must have been the silly tv. Oakspear. keep praying.

I agree and amen. I have a nephew who has custody of his little daughter her mom and him fought and she also accused him of sexual molesting. it is common . she lost as well, but today they get along fine , she realized she didnt want the finanacial situation of providing for a child and also her health really declined and she is on disability. he allows her vistation now. I would never give up my kids ever. I do not get the idea of intimidation esp if you know abuse is happening. I do not get this idea of fry the bastard but you who had the power to help them didnt because you didnt feel well. Im not saying it isnt valid or your choice ,I just do not get it at all no way. most children in family court have families on welfare, most are troubled these ideals are not new to the justice system they know who ends up in their face. I live just a few short miles from Canada, this guy could be in this twon but we put their picture up all over the place , store fronts etc.. he wouldnt live here long. honestly the one we did have here kept getting beat up every time he left his house he moved. he practicaly had 24 hour police protection just to go outside. So I do not get it, and your a victim , Im sorry your a victim but I think your kids paid a higher price than you ever will. I do believe twi did ask people not to get involved in this , but a parent who puts twi or even a spouse before the safety and welfare of their kids have even deeper issues than being involved ina bible study cult in life. imo

Dp not accuse me falsely I know nothing about this but what the folks here say. so this guy is on the "most wanted" list, somwhere. and twi is funding his escapes from justice you want me to believe that? well I do not. he probably is a child molester he probably did have involvement in twi. that does not mean they are helping him escape to anywhere or funding them to me that is a leap. so the social worker was a raper and a molester and that is why you lost your kids. um ok and your husband was dealing drugs and that helped him keep custody of the kids. esp since they were "running drugs for him at age 7? hmm sounds like you did work alot to miss all that. but the reason you gave custody to your child molesting drug dealing husband is because of your health , you who had to be the soul bread winner for the family, ( i heard a good drug dealer makes pretty good buck) while on welfare, and the stress of it all made a flare up. and not one good guy to be found in all of Alaska . my your a victim over and over dam shame. and to think Alaska was on my top ten places to vist some day ,

I do not think twi cared enough about anyone in the group to spend two years testifying for the good of anyone. could be people testified against a person if they felt that way about someone but it is only personal opinion. I highly doubt the way went into court and testified about the good or bad of anyone. individuals maybe and that is how they felt if they did.. social workers and all hmm trained professinals who deal with abused chidlren everyday. now they must be bias FOR the way as well? come on. I make no judgement about why you lost your children , I do not know why all im saying the fact you were involved in twi could work against you in these cases more than for you. this is a little tiny cult in ohio not some muti million defense lawyer, and your trying to tell me they funded his defense? I do not believe it. I never saw the way give out any money for the like of that.. unless absolutly forced in name to defend themself as in the lawsuits against them. you may have felt your were fighting twi. I understand that, but I ask you did twi the company go to court and testify your were a bad mother who deserved to lose custody? or was it family friends who rallied against you to lose your kids? even so they are only opinions . I do not believe twi ever taught molesting children was meat of the word. this was a man you marrried a man you chose to have children with . how it played out for you sounds devasting and I also am sorry but how in hell was twi responsible for what happened to you? it is like if your kid get molested within the family you and your hubby goes to a church, the church is blamed because some side with him and do not believe you, then the whole congregation is evil and supports child molestation? it also sounds like you had alot of agenda other than the children . Im truly sorry they were victims. I was a single parent nearly their enitre childhood, I know the issues, many do, it is no excuse I have no idea why you say that is even a factor in why you lost custody. this story about twi being a butch of child molesters. adding and helping one another just isnt going to fly when your the one who lost custody . do I think they didnt get involved ? YES when maybe they should have done something about these type of problems they didnt, I agree. do I think allowing strangers into your home to read the bible and do manisfestations and being all loving and trusting is dangerous? YES and said so from day one when you have small children to protect it is down right foolish to share babysitting the way we did etc. but again this was a family issue. Do I think it is possible some like your hubby better than you and may have gone to court and said why he was a better parent? oh yeah twi had tight friendships like that most groups do. but that is not the organization doing anything to be involved in it at all. if your husband was convicted of child molesting the courts did not give a rats foot what group you belonged to their job is to help the kids... it didnt work out well for you IM sorry,the fact you were involved in twi had little to do with your mess. maybe twi leaders didnt believe you, they didnt need to, they didnt believe me on what I told them as truth either. many have stood in that place. that does not make them guilty of helping a child molester or funding his defense or helping him in any way. as far as proof of your allegations you lost in court why would twi believe you?

Mo quite a story ya got there. why did you lose custody then? why have you not seen your daughter since she was seven? has to be reasons. the courts would not deny a mother her children unless circumstances merited it. ESP the numbers of years you have indicated. did you give up custody? well then it must be the other parent problem they have issues in life . of course you were absent couldnt have anything to do with that fact. I do not know this guy but I do know the courts do not give custody over to a child molester away from a lovng caring mom. oh im not blaming the victim and you do have your crowd of attention seeking ramble here. something smells fishy in demark is all im saying. a guy was a child molesterok ok like in any group it happens, it isnt a shock to anyone with children or shouldnt be today. the rest of this story about who knew what and when and who allowed it is all here say . I do not believe it was a "circle of conspriacy to protect a twi person. do I think some may have white washed ? sure you bet it is an ugly dirty crime and people feel the need to white wash. but the courts do not they go with evidence not what some freaks in a small town cult may feel about another. be honest. Allen is right if you it is up to the individual to stand on his/her own and say what is right or wrong in life for them or their children. children are victims they have o voice the parents can empower themselves, if they chose and frankly it doesnt sound like you did MO. now blame twi, for all of it. this was a family crime a family issue. the fact he was in twi is not surprising , people attracted to children are going to be where the children are. Hello. twi may not have believe this templelady person.. apparently neither did the courts. something rings rather loud in that. I have litle faith in our systems! but i KNOW God will protect his "little ones" if their parents are willing to stand with HIM on doing what is right. and as Allen stated a simple willingness to say NO is all it takes... it is a fight but twi didnt marry this man you did. why do they need to take the heat for your choices in life? why did what twi say or feel come first in your life? why didnt you take the children and leave?

I have a person I wish would get hit by a train and honestly I wouldnt mind watching. sounds harsh? or been there? maybe some feel the same way about me. justice what a word. I have seen justice but nopt in an evil way. love is justice and I believe God's way. love them to death. no do not put up with the hurt and pain and allow yourself to be hurt over and over but rather rise above it and carry onward towards a life filled with goodness. and peace. this is the only justice I know. will they someday burn in a fire pit? it is what the bible says.. but who decides who? Im glad it isnt me. I have enough on my plate to know I can only do justice to myself and those I come into contact with now. I remember twi used to brag about hell and folks who are going to burn I say I would rather brag about the very mercy I have known in my life. I do not believe in little or big sins. we all fall short and it is a daily walk with the Lord to contend with our own enemy. it isnt about flesh and blood people, so very very hard to understand when the sob is in your face insulting you and hurting you I know I know. I try to step back and pray for myself to find the peace in the choas Satan can make. in the end I hope for the peace and life He promises , how justice will be met or to whom. matters little to me, as it is written we will all see it and all deserve it.

if my life was a messand got better I do not suppose I would give the glory to twi in the same vein I do not blame them for what happened to me while I was involved. I honestly think all of us including vpw had no idea what was happening. or why. isnt that why we have GS and the off shoots? why? I have some answers a very few mostly my lemonaid is the strength I learned to endure and the ability to stop trying to figure it all out and go with my own gut. I really learned that well. seldom do I doubt what I know to be true regardless of whatever is going on or who says what. in fact i may be slightly rabid on this point in my life because of twi it may not be lemonaid but im drinking it now for sure. I think the fact the folks who life was all messed up and they joined twi speaks volumes. did ya get fixed by being involved? oh pray tell just how? I cant imagine any type of answer other than trying to please people and that is exactly how I got into so much pain in my life. I guess your right.

twi made my life a mess. I didnt come in a mess I got into a mess with the people I got involved in twi with. I am not going to blame twi, for what happened to me , I cant not now because I do not know how life would have been without the trouble I got in. would it have happened if I never got involved? I doubt it and it was a life changing event. I was marked for a reason. nah not with all the guilt and condemation and learning that took place, in the real world it would have maybe never happened maybe something worse who knows what life brings when your guessing. I am not one of those who claim twi saved my life oh hell no! my involvement brought me and my family the worst heartache possible this side of death and at times I think worse than death. but of course we learn we either learn or continue doing whatever it is that destroyed your life in the first place. twi caused two divorces for me, my first because he was an unbeliever ,and I was,the second because he was a believer and I wasnt. that is only a slice of it all. no no Im not one of those who claim twi saved me from my life. it changed my life but not because I was in a bad way at the time. what I was saying is I do not know how my life would have been. but they certainly had the allowance to change it for way to long. I have few regrets now. grew up I guess came into my own self and decided to have some peace. I had to look long and hard at why it did happenen tho why I got involved why I allowed what happened to happen etc. what was my part and why. got to know myself some that is rather invaluable.

juice didnt start with twi for me. One of the largest lessons I learned is all people struggle. I was young but I know many older people who have never learned the fact people really want to be loved and accepted. twi pretended to give us that as many struggled with breaking away from mom and dad and church as we knew as a child or young adult twi said we can be loved. I remember that now.. when I see or hear people go beyond what they maybe should for acceptance and get hurt. I walked away from twi and the offhoots with a gapping wound and a scar I notice everyday. but inside I have a strength , hard to describe, a strength that says i will survive. twi gave me the ability to seek God and myself without the illusion of people and what they may say or do to me. I never would have asked for the lesson the way I got it . and I cant answer if it was "worth it" but I cherish who I am today because of it. I cant see or know me without the story of all this twi and offshoot interference in my life. I wouldnt know what it would have been like. so here I am trying to make lemonade still out of life in general twi and all. Im glad I knew the bible and I am glad I believe it to be an instruction book for life, and Im glad I do not have to learn that it is a book for my learning from a faithful Lord who loves me and not a church group or a special teacher. it is a spiritual life I learned, to the point those who seek God today and struggl;e with many of the religous stuff I no longer play with in my mind and I see and hear the foolishness, Im thankful.

my answer is a loud NO! A person can be out of shape at any age I run circles around the teens at my job. they are also too tired or out of shape to contend with work. I hike with a lady who is ninety four year young! She was also in rehab for four months after a nasty car accident just four months ago. it is the mind, it is motivation, it is wanting to go get it! We all do what we want. if we think we should be to tired we will be. If we know we are tired and feel it can be an excuse to not be the day best then we will not.... Im single, few "do" for me. I sit and look and say I cant do this anymore Im to tired and the next day it is still there waiting to get done!!!! so I just do it. tired lazy or what not . if your ill it may be different I have never been sick so I do not know what that is like. The fact is it isnt getting "older" in years it is getting older in your mind, you do not want to, your less motivated, it isnt as exciting and new as it once may have been. A good excuse. I do not believe it has anything to do with age at all. I know 42 year old women with three or four very young chidren who work full time, and keep a house and husband!!! if your tired go to bed! if your excited about life and have a full plate you may not notice you need more sleeep. sleep is under rated. life is for living!!! sure enough you will sleep when ya need it! ya know what got me going the next day?? EXCITMENT!!! or food money or rent!! motivation baby it is all it comes down to! young or older. but an excuse is waiting for any lazy man or woman. old fat sick depressedblah blah blah... maybe your just out of shape. not used to it!!! unless your sick or something. my gramma is 98 years OLD and lives lone with many pets and a huge garden and a big house! she says to "keep busy"! haha and that is the answer . do not stop cause if you do it feels like you cant do it all over again because you lost your motivation.

I also learned that sincere well meaning people who tell you they are smarter and wiser and better can be as messed up and wrong as anyone eles. big learning in that. leaving the way gave me an attitude. I walk this earth knowing I can take it all and still stand and( yes maybe alone) on what it is that makes me look forward . hard to explain but I remember a BIG mistake in my life, everyday. and God almighty pulled me and mine thro it all. So Im thankful. I learned prayer works. I learned the bible has answers for my life. I learned Jesus really will never forsake me but a good share of my friends and family just might at any given moment. I learned people are a gift from God. I learned to NEVER look at the outside circumstance of any person to get the full scope on what he/she may be doing in my life before I decide what to do with them. that is huge. I learned I can lose it all and scrap back up in time to find life a trip and fun and not to worry so much. I learned sometimes my worse enemy can turn out to be my best lesson ever. I really learned I can not fix other people and their problems and to take care of my own first and foremost.. I learned to never take anothers word for what the bible/God may mean for my life. I learned God just keeps loving us and He is never angry or mean to the point of hurting anyone EVER. that is huge as well. are any of these lemonaid?

my kid is not responsible, so he doesnt hold the reigns if you will. I set very strong boundaries, and they make him very angry, maybe someday he will understand why. maybe not but at some point I decided it was only my life I have control of, my decisions my choices and I cant force another to make good ones for theirs.. so when they end up in another mess , hello . I will help ya out if and when I can without hurting my own life. I know I am not the only parent who struggles with wanting them to be the nice child I raised but in reality he is a grown up making poor choices and struggling with the consequences . I think if I allow it to not be so ,(fix things tidy up pay the bill if you will) the reality of what really happens, he will continue to blame me for his issues in life. tome it causes a sick kind of co0dependency. I do not know if Im right or wrong a bigger part of me wants to cater to him and try to help him "get it" but like the above poster said parenting ends and real life enters if a parent allows it. tough job either way.

I think the relationship should and does shift or change as they get older. son and I adore one another, we say I love you and make a huge fuss if one is down the other is tripping... but he is grown now over 21 and as much as we both would like we can NOT live together..( to much the same I think) . my other child a little younger really do not do so well I drive her nuts we have short and few conversations that usualy end with one of us thinking the other is mean. yet we live together, peacefully. my oldest seems to me, just wants to prove she is better and smarter and more able to be sane than I ever could... I feel no competitition and she may win in her contest! I am very proud of her and she has never made a mistake and reminds me of it often yet our relationship is difficult and emotional . our children turn into real live people. go figure. parenting ends or it should if you ever did anything right by teaching them to be responsible adults. the first blow of this reality hits hard! for everyone i think then it becomes just like any other relationship. just what you can do with it! teens and young adult do not need "parenting" or discipline should really be waning by that point, if they have not learned your standards by now it may never happen . and that is ok . they often need money and support for the choices they will make now. whether YOu think they will work out or not it is their life. it is a tough transition for some families after years of "being their everything". well your not and never will be again and that is how it is suppose to be. do I know families where the kids never grow up and conflict abounds and needs never get met and the parents are exhuasted and bitching? yes and I find them incredibly exhuasting in never seeing the light of what life is in a family. When they first start leaving I think many parents freak a little not knowing how to live without their constant presence and life in theirs. by the time the last one is going I was like come one alreeady I have plans to use you room for something! honestly. if you love them they know it. isnt that all one can really do to fix or help another at any age? My son ran away a whole two block for about two years we didnt speak, I knew he was ok and he kept in touch with the rest of the family... I cried some he grew out of it and now is better off for it he says and me too I learned family is stronger than what any individual may decide stupidly or not to do ,it is maintaining your own happiness in life and always making the space to love one another no matter what. I have a relative that has one child she gave ever thing to that kid , attention attention hop and how far and every living minute of her life for twenty years! never said no always tried to understand he came first. he is one miseravle sob adult cant keep a job, in fact she is leaving the state to get the hell away from his constant harrasment, I feel sorry for the kid he has gone from being the everything to not being good enough and being replaced by a new boy friend. I tell my kids um no got other plans cant do it . as much as I need to. always have they have learned how to manage their life from realizing it isnt all about them. teens and young adult only see themselves and their perspective. somone needs to show them we all live together in this world and to get along. why not a loving parent? I think many times a parents is afraid of the threats! lololol I know they come up with some dozies! haha trust me if you have loved them they know it and some one had better teach them how the world works before they find out the hard way. which we all did and still do it is called life. but your lessons are not neccesarily their lessons remember that.

I am a single person who has played by the rules. no adultery and not alot of risk taking in dating who is who. I hear what the above post is saying with the divorce rate even worse for second marriages even worse than the first time around!!! so I say to Zix in my well infromed play in safe life please GO FOR IT!!! do the love thing. do what feels great and makes ya happy and if amanda rings the golden bell on the merry go round of life than grab and hold on for as long as the ride may last! win life and take the chance! can it go bad? yeah as any divorced human on this planet will testify..but it aint in the winning ro losing of life that counts it is the living of it!!!! congrats and nice to hear from ya Mr. screen writer award soon to be winner!!!