Pirate1974

I thought it looked pretty good. But then I thought "Daredevil" looked great in the previews and it was disappointing.

Listen up, guys. Here's the newest marvel of 21st century technology Forget-me-not panties Worried that your wife, girlfriend or teenage daughter might be doing something that she shouldn't? Well, worry no more. Forget-me-not panties are the ultimate wayward female tracking device. Developed by the Panchira Corporation of Tokyo (why does all this weird s**t always come from Japan?) these high-tech undies represent the very pinnacle of human achievement in the world of GPS. Apparently, this is for real. These panties will monitor the location of your wife, girlfriend or daughter 24 hours a day, send the exact location to your cell phone or PC and using the patented pantyMap, you can find out exactly where she is. Of course, if she drops her panties off at the mall on the way to the motel, you're screwed, more or less. Even better, the Advanced model includes heart rate and body temperature monitors, causing bells and whistles to go off (I guess) to alert you that she's getting all hot and bothered, or she's gone jogging, one of the two. The system is based on "pioneering research" developed by the rocket scientists at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency who cook up goodies like this for the U.S. military. Probably part of a top-secret project to try to get these knickers on Osama. To prove that they work, here's an "actual testimonial" from "David," right off the company website: Well, I'm sold by that unsolicited heart-felt comment. These things ain't cheap. The "basic" model (GPS only) goes for $99.99 a pair, while the "advanced" model is $179.99 a pair. Of course, you can save by buying 7 pairs a time for only $1190.00. If you want to order now, you'll have to wait. Believe it or not, they're all sold out. What I want to know is how do you get these Global Positioning drawers on your significant other? Do you just come home from work one day and say, "Hi, honey. Look at this. I just bought you seven new pairs of panties and I want you to wear them every day." Yeah, that won't arouse any suspicions.

Richard Harris Tarzan the Ape Man(a true classic of the jungle genre) Bo Derek

Very true, but you could always use it to light your exploding shoes. Can't be too careful.

Never heard of "Traxx." Never heard of Shadoe Stevens. Didn't know anybody other than Peter Marshall ever did "Hollywood Squares." I looked up this movie on imdb and realized I had at least seen this Shadoe guy (real name Terry Ingstad) but I didn't know his name. He was a semi-regular on "Dave's World" which wasn't a bad show.

I always thought he looked more like Eva Gabor's father than her husband.

Well, you don't go to "Star Wars" expecting to see "Hamlet." You go to see starship battles and light sabre battles and whatever goodies Industrial Light and Magic has cooked up this time. The dialogue has been lame since the first scene of the original and it hasn't gotten any better. I thought this movie was spectacular to watch but I really miss a Han Solo-type character to bring in a little fun to the proceedings. The only thing that even got a chuckle out of the audience when I went were the previews of "The Longest Yard."

It was "They Live." Definitely a classic that would benefit from a CGI remake. Or maybe that other Rowdy Roddy blackbuster: "Hell Comes to Frogtown." I miss Rhonda Shear's "Up All Night" on USA. There's no place to see great cinema like that anymore.

True Lies Jamie Lee Curtis Trading Places

Firestarter David Keith An Officer and a Gentleman

That's Marvin the Martian, Cathy. About that chicken recipe...what's the point of the beer bottle? Sounds like a waste of good brew to me.

Nothing personal, but I'll be pulling for Danica Patrick driving the Letterman car. Yowza.

That's the one.

No, no and no

Hey, look, the Monkees. They were a huge influence on the Beatles.

The Sixth Sense

Well, besides being the voice of Francis the Talking Mule, he was in: The Alamo John Wayne True Grit

It's great to see another North Carolina Baptist church in the news. First we have the East Waynesville Baptist Church booting out members for not supporting George W. and now there's this sign outside the Danieltown Baptist Church near Forest City: Quoting the Reverend Creighton Lovelace (!!!): "I believe that it is a statement supporting the word of God and that it (the Bible) is above all and that any other religious book that does not teach Christ as savior and lord as the 66 books of the Bible teaches it, is wrong. I knew that whenever we decided to put that sign up that there would be people who wouldn't agree with it, and there would be some that would, and so we just have to stand up for what's right." Right on, Rev. Lovelace. Flush away. Oh, by the way, the good reverend also circulated a petition in 2001 proposing a constitutional amendment that would allow North Carolina to secede from the United States. It seems he was concerned that the federal government would allow homosexual unions and abolish churches and the only way to preserve our Christian heritage would be as a separate country. Yeah, that worked real well last time it was tried. Last year Reverend Lovelace was one of the sponsors of a resolution at the Baptist State Convention calling on members to pull their kids out of public schools so they wouldn't be corrupted by associating with "behavioral deviants"(homosexuals.) Hallelujah.

You're welcome, excathie. Missed you around here lately.

TV Land is doing a special tribute tomorrow to the late Howard Morris, who created one of the greatest characters in television history: Ernest T. Bass. Ernest T. only appeared in five episodes of "The Andy Griffith Show" but they were some of best ever on the show. TV Land is going to show all five back to back Mountain Wedding "I'm kinda mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy." Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army "The only thing standing twixt me and sweet romance is a u-nee-form." My Fair Ernest T. Bass "How do you do, Mrs. Wi-ley?" The Education of Ernest T. Bass "I want to do my sen-tence!" Malcolm at the Crossroads "Wrong or right, I'm here to fight." Howard Morris died Saturday at the age of 85. "It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T."

BAGHDAD, Iraq - From a high-performance perch above the Iraqi countryside, Johnny Taylor is looking for targets at 145 mph. He spots one, banks his Army Black Hawk in a 180-degree turn, and his machine gunners let loose. Goal! Soccer ball away. About 150 feet below, two Iraqi boys quit waving and bolt from a mud-brick farm compound to collect their spoils of war, bouncing high into a crop field. Taylor, 59, a chief warrant officer with the Salisbury, N.C.-based Bravo Co. of the N.C. Army National Guard 126th Aviation Battalion, has been dropping treats to kids in rural regions since his yearlong tour began in January. "It doesn't hurt anything, and someday this kid will grow up, and somebody will ask him to be a terrorist and he'll think back on a soccer ball from a helicopter," says Taylor, a Vietnam veteran from Gastonia. "And how many people will he tell about this?" In the struggle for the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people, U.S. soldiers are concentrating on the country's children. It is there, they say, they have the best chance to leave a lasting positive impression. "We believe changing the attitude of kids, 6 to 12, will benefit us long-term most," says Brig. Gen. Tom Lawing of Matthews, who commands the Charlotte-based N.C. Army National Guard 30th Engineer Brigade at Camp Anaconda in Balad, the helicopter's base. "We want the next generation of Iraqis to have national pride, but also see the U.S. as a good thing." Taylor and his machine gunners -- Spc. Andrew Boyce, 23, of Winston-Salem, and Spc. Joe Elmore, 20, of Salisbury -- also drop "candy bombs," zipper-locked bags with Beanie Babies and candies adorned with a flowing red ribbon to mark their landing spot. To avoid enemy fire, they fly fast and near the ground, so low that the powerful Black Hawk must pull up to avoid high-tension power lines on their mission from Balad to Baghdad. Kids they spot along the way get the goodies, supplied by a unit in Fayetteville, if it won't interfere the chopper's mission and there's no sign of insurgent activity. "I'd like to just have a Black Hawk to myself," Taylor says, "and just go around and do candy bombs." (The Charlotte Observer, May 23)

The Cannonball Run Burt Reynolds Deliverance

Boy, you guys have got me confused now. Which quote are we on? That has to be A Night at the Opera

Stoned he is.

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