Final Act

[Bumpy]

Stage Fright - Music by The Band - Scene 2 - At the bar with a gentleman who introduces himself as none other than “Doctor Viper”! As you may recall in the anals of past postings, Bumpy loses sight of the nurse who is off to attend one of her “patients” when the good “Doctor” appears.

The man is dressed in an informal flannel multi-colored shirt and blue jeans, his face has some kind of mole on the side. Not very attractive, but what gets me most is the smile, a touch of wickedness and teeth which could use a bit of repair.

Good Evening

Bumpy, my name is Doctor Viper, how ‘bout having a drink with me? Sure, I reply, what else is there to do around here as we walk to the bar? Judging by the way he was walking he probably already had had a few.

There is going to be a little gathering here tonight Bumpy, a special occasion with lots of guests and visitors. I think you might be interested to see more about what this place is all about.

Well tell me Doctor, what kind of doctor are you?

Dentistry, he says with a wry smile on his face. No, actually not exactly that Bumpy, I am more of a doctor of theology, ideas, implementing ideas, I suppose. Tonight, what you are going to see are a lot of my former, let’s call them “employees”. The people you have been watching moving about here are basically retired. The ones who haven’t arrived yet are some of the more important individuals who were involved in my former business.

What business is that may I ask?

It was a real money business he says with a laugh, you might even think of it as having been a “money tree”! It was a business which was before its’ time, motivational might be the word. You see once upon a time when all these people were a lot younger, they all not only worked for me, but in reality they worshipped me! What are you drinking?

Feeling the moment and trying to put this conversation together I decided Scotch might be the best choice.

Sargent Wolf he yells, “get over here”. Sgt. Wolf, get Bumpy a Scotch. Sgt. Wolf by the look of things looks a little worse for wear. Overweight with a pug nose and a bit of drool coming from the side of his mouth. Yes Sir Doctor, he replies! And a pack of cigarettes yells the doctor. Off goes Sgt. Wolf with a slight limp. The doctor notices me watching him and comments that Wolf was once attacked by a vicious dog delivering mail to the wrong address.

Anyway Bumpy, the people attending tonight”s little gathering were at one time a very efficient organization, one which took years of planning and preparation. Actually they were more like a small army, maybe like the old elite German SS Sturmers. They were physically fit, ready to hit what we called the “spiritual” battle lines, tough aggressive and smart. But most importantly, they were all loyal to ME, their Fuehrer! Ein Wort, Ein Volk, Ein Fuehrer!

By now more people start showing up which is a relief because the “good doctor” has a to say a few words, mostly nice to see you, how are you and it gives me a break to wonder what’s happening around me. The room is beginning to fill up.

Believe me Bumpy he says, what you’re looking at in front of you tonight is nothing to what it used to be! A wry smile gathers across his face, but I’m fixed on that mole. Why don’t people get things like that removed? Just then, Sgt. Wolf shows up with a large scotch and some cigarettes and not a moment to soon!

Bumpy, have you ever seen cards like these? I look at them and they remind me of “flash” cards. These are memory cards he says. A long time ago, people like Sgt. Wolf here were required to memorize Biblical scriptures, lots of them, all the time. It was part of their training. They used that in debating issues, any issues, “scripture and verse” they used to cry whenever their was a disagreement.

There were meetings, endless meetings where we would build them up, and then knock them down. It was necessary for future psychological preparation. There was never to be ANY doubt about commitment, you followed orders down the chain of command. And believe me my people followed orders! Classes, tests, physical training, cleaning, reciting, pledge of allegiance, it never ended. And they all “lived” in tiny quarters fostering personal relationships on where the movement would take them, dreaming about a life together as “one big happy family”! THAT was one of the big motivators, keeping them focused on the objective, just like an army. No room for individual dissension.

What was the point I asked, immediately regretting the question when he gave me this rather nasty smile. The POINT he said was to build a business, a business with a master plan which would be presented to young people across the nation. A plan which if carefully followed and implemented would bring in millions of dollars. “Word Over The World” he almost yelled!

And the plan Bumpy, only required one thing, a room filled with people who wanted to learn about spiritual matters from God’s Word the Bible! And I had it all prepared, “researched”, filmed for presentation, and all under the auspices of many of the people you see in front of you.

Over there Bumpy, you see the balding fat man next to the wall? That guy hasn’t been seen for a long time. His name is Colonel C. Feer. He was my aide, my driver and a Mr. Fix It. Believe me! If I had a problem, he was the first guy I called. And sometimes there were some serious problems to fix he said with another sly grin.

Col. Feer he went on to say, made a lot of moves to replace me when my retirement came about. However, he was never the man for the job. But you could never convince him of that.

Just then, a middle aged woman with nice legs but dated red shoes interrupts. “Hello Doctor, I just wanted to know if you need anything”? No honey, everything is OK for the moment, still living alone, he asks with a sly grin? She shrugs and says that her time is too important and there’s no one very interesting to be found anyway and walks away.

Next the “Doctor” points out another man over in the corner whose name he says is Major Flynn. The Dr. used to be partners with Flynn a long time ago, but when the business soured he decided to go out on his own. Apparently business is not too good at the moment, as there has been a management shakeout and some kind of problem with arachnids...very strange!

Bumpy, the guy who did replace me was what really messed up the business. I don’t know if he’s going to show, but man, did he screw up a free lunch. His name was General Nightingale, and I think the name suits him because someone says he’s either selling shoes or singing for his meals! He took over my whole operation after this elaborate festival I put on for him in front of all “my people”, all to let them know they were now to “follow” him. Some were not convinced.

In hindsight, it was a big mistake Bumpy. That bastard took everything I built and squandered it on women, planes, busses, lavish properties, stupid investments, you name it. Finally the board had to fire him or everyone might have gone to jail. Mind you, like Clinton, we had some good times together. That’s for sure he said again as he finished his drink. Sgt. Wolf! Get me and my friend Bumpy here another round!

That was the beginning of the end. The damn lawsuits. One woman after another, then the husbands, after that the resignations. It was like a snowball. My army began to desert, rumors flew all around and before long desertions en mass! It was a mess and all that’s left is what you’re looking at. The money tree, the structure, all that cash, gone. Only a few diehards left.

The room is practically full and respects are being made amongst the guests. Seems many of them have tears in their eyes, some are arguing, some are pointing in our direction. The “Doctor” seems to be feeling a little uncomfortable, I see him grimacing or maybe snarling. Suddenly the room goes silent and they’re all looking at us, or is it me?

I see my host turning toward me, he opens his mouth and says, “Bumpy, it’s time for you to understand, you don’t belong here. You’re not one of us, we don’t like you. You upset us with your comments and stories. We want to be left alone in our little world of communication. It’s time to say “Aufwiedersehen”!

[SafariVista]

It’s time to say “Aufwiedersehen”!

Whew! Geeze Bumpy... is this a dream of speaking to ol Vic in Hell? Creepy~

oder, ist dieser Ihr Cafe' Abfahrtansage?

[satori001]

I think it would make a great skit for our next Branch meeting.

As you know, “Corps” always thought they knew best! And anyone like me who was not WAY CORPS, was nothing. So you had to be very careful what you said! Sort of like me getting whacked here at gs by the same ex-corps people, who have that “pull a verse / prove a point” mentality.

Man I hate that! But that’s another subject I will deal with in a future posting!

Edited March 11, 2007 by satori001

[Bumpy]

http://www.boardofwisdom.com/mailquote.asp?msgid=3972

I really don't want to see Dr. Viper slip slide away into oblivion. And all of you especially Mr. Hammeroni make me laugh so much!

The sadness of Norway will be revealed, but try and find Lynda P, she knows the story. Even Major Flynn has a little insight. All the best from West Africa! Bump

[excathedra]

oooooh oooooh i want to know who major flynn is !!!!

john lynn ????

[excathedra]

ps. i'm not trying to make light of this, honest

[HAPe4me]

Lynda P or Lynn P?

[dmiller]

The sadness of Norway will be revealed,

but try and find Lynda P, she knows the story.

Even Major Flynn has a little insight.

Hmmmmmmm. Can we have a clue for an e-mail addy?

(Or a forum they post on -- assuming they do?)

Lynda P or Lynn P?

Which is it?