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Why some people don't get the abuse stories


Linda Z
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(This post may seem like a derailment...but I don't feel that it is...because the denial is why some people don't get the abuse stories.)

Johnny Lingo,

That whole situation in Alaska is one of the saddest experiences I have ever had. The LC at the time had been a BC in Topeka, Kansas. He screwed up there, too. If I had listened to his "wisdom" in Kansas, I would be dead from HIV complications right along with my ex husband. Because we (my current hubs and I) knew him from Kansas, we knew not to listen to him in Alaska...so we turned to HQ for help. I still have the letters DM and LCM wrote back to me. Their words "blessed" me at the time...but they did nothing to help those children.

Johnny, many of us tried to help those children in Alaska. My daughter and I lived with one of the families for awhile...and we still cope with what happened.

I will tell you that at least 3 of the children involved then who are adults today want nothing to do with "god" or religion.

I will also tell you that the folks running that "fellowship" did not start off "good" and "go bad"...they knew exactly what they wanted to run a "children's fellowship" for...and had been removed from other areas for doing the same thing...and were put in Alaska by HQ to cover tracks in the lower 48.

2 years after the fact of the arrests, I contacted that LC and asked him what he was going to do to in an effort to set things straight for the families of those children...you know...like paying for the therapy or at least acknowledging his part in it all. Know what he said? He said he was going to "work with the U******s to see that their lives are blessed". I asked him what about all of the children and their families? He said, "They are not my responsibility." I asked him if he still thought me and my family were "seed boys". He said he didn't know what I was talking about. I asked him if he still thought my son was "ill-gotten by the seed of satan". He said he never said exactly that...that I had misunderstood him. A few years ago when I found out he was out of twi, I contacted him. He was still calling me "devil spirit influenced" and trying to rebuke me in the name of JC yada yada yada.

From about 1997-2001, I was involved in an offshoot church occasionally attended by one of the men who ran a twig in Alaska during that time. He was the first one in Anchorage to dub our family "seed boys" and prophesy our deaths. (Yeah, Johnny, in response to us trying to do something to help the children, 3 "men of god" in Alaska actually prophesied our deaths...right down to date, time and cause. Obviously they were wrong.) Know what? When I finally told him that we knew him from Alaska, he said he didn't remember us! He got on one knee before me and said, "If I did anything to hurt you or your family, I humbly apologize." He did it in front of several people, including the pastors of the church. When I tried to express my utter disgust with him, the pastors got between us and began harping at me to forgive.

Sad thing is, I let those pastors do that...and I took on that freak's guilt...letting myself believe that it was my unforgiveness that was the problem...and a short time later, one of those pastors told me that the reason my husband had cancer and had been in a nearly fatal car accident was because my life was s*it.

I am now M&A from that offshoot church. Boo hoo.

My points, Johnny, are:

  • All the time I was telling myself that I was doing something good by "working within God's family", I was buying into the dysfunction. It was not until I went outside of twi and told the proper authorities about what was happening in "children's fellowship" that I did any real good.
  • Many of those involved in "protecting" perpetrators or covering-up the situation still believe they were right.
  • What happened in Alaska was not isolated. HQ had put the ring-leader in Alaska in an attempt to keep twi out of legal trouble in the lower 48 because of the same problems perpetrated by many of the same people.
  • Once released from prison, the ring-leader was accepted back into twi with open arms.
  • Because I told the proper authorities what was going on, I am considered the "evil" one...even to this very day.

In the face of such evidence, Johnny, I have been forced to take a long, hard look at everything I ever learned from twi. And when I did that, I found out that everything I learned from twi was tainted. But most importantly, I learned that from the beginning I knew there was something terribly wrong...and I chose to ignore or rationalize away the signs.

Reading this thread, it is obvious to me that twi perpetuated itself by teaching and expecting a state of constant denial.

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Great post CW, EX, Outin88, Hope

Also Long gone and early made some very good points about people praying for help and having a weirdo show up. Or if TWI did not exist would it put God out of business?

Joe G. and I prayed to find God and answers...

Among the first to arrive on the scene was a woman from Ardmore who was a "prophetess" named Evelyn. She turned out to be a flake.

So, I think even though we are young and do not understand what is going on-- some how we were required to test the spirits. Even though at that time we did not know deception from truth we prayed for God to help/find us and we did run into some weirdo's.

Then, came some more strange things including a church in Parksburg I read about in a book when we were looking. Very emotional Pentecostal place. But there were strange things there as well. Then, a prophesy, "I speak not through this filthy rag to glorify men but to glorify me..."

I thought this cannot be right and left.

Joe then got into TWI via Eddie and we did see God. We saw him, but had we left when we saw the crap like we did with the other places I think we would have been better off.

If God called us we would have gotten "the calling" if TWI existed or not.

I am thankful for some good times, but I wish I kept looking when I KNEW something was wrong.

So, Long Gone and Early have very good and valid points. For people to flare at their points is not any different then people flaring up at J-Lingo. Isn't that what this thread is about?

Recognizing where people are coming from and trying to talk...

Dot_Matrix.gif

[This message was edited by Dot Matrix on January 05, 2004 at 12:53.]

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Again CW

That is great insight to the "protect" the ministry at all costs logic. You, Ex, vickles and others were expendable.

Protect the lie - admit nothing and blame others.

So, I think that treatment of us in TWI set a pattern that even among the off-shoots and some of those that are out seem to cling to--

Not saying anyone on this thread but certainly on others.

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Ex, there was a girl on Waydale who mentioned she was abused as well.

That poor thing was looking for validation other victims, understanding or whatever...

That poor girl got blasted for the next 22 pages for being a liar, whore, devil, full of spirits etc. I felt so bad for her that I was unable to tell anyone anything that happened to me for the next few years...

I could not even validate her because of the fear...

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Long Gone

I do not expect you to agree with my thoughts. I don't expect anyone to agree with what I think to be right. If you do great if you don't great.

The reason I post is because I do believe I am right just like everyone else. I am only interested in stating what I think to be true that is all nothing more.

Some people here are still mentally in the way. They think everyone should agree with them and if they don't then they are being argumentative and have some personal agenda.

Continued on next post...

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If I say all govt is evil as is the nature of man which I believe to be correct then I am somehow am a troll who is self engrossed. Is this sort of thing not Way brain.

The reason I stopped going to the Way's ridiculous church meetings is because I was not allowed to teach or say anything that contradicted the ministries positions. Which is fine it is their church.

Continued on next post...

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Of course I think it is utterly absurd. You are told to speak the truth in love and then when you do you are told to stop. The possibility that what I say is true is true is just as great as with what you say. I can be wrong you can be wrong but if you are honest shouldn't you allow it to be said?

Every group always has its control freaks who want to force everyone into there little limited world view. G-spot is no different.

Continued on next post...

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If someone is telling their story of abuse the religious control zealot will say, now that is enough we don't want to scare off anybody or offend them. If someone curses they will say things like, you won't get anywhere doing that, as if the person cursing has an ulterior motive like them.

Why should the truth in it's raw or clothed glory ever be offensive no matter how it is stated? If a thing is true then I have nothing to fear from it. It will only be of benefit to me.

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Hi, early2it. I didn't think that you expected me to agree with you. I guess I was concerned that your "Amen brother" might be interpreted by some as an indication that we are "likeminded" instead of what it was, agreement with a few points. Just an overreaction on my part to the terminology, I'm sure.

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CW-

Yeah, that was really sick to be sure. You say that the ringleader was sent to Alaska because he/she had done this before? Yet the ringleader Mr. U________ was an Airforce sargeant. Wouldn't that mean that the Airforce sent the guy there, and not TWI? Or do you mean MRS. U? If so, Eeeauuuuwww! I hadn't even thought of her as being part of it! That doesn't really make it any sicker, but I had never thought of her as part of it. I was way down on the Kenai at the time and the LC was trying to hide it from me, yet I caught snippets, and then was all of the sudden re-assigned as a BC in the Central Region..Sorry for ya CW. I hope life is getting better for you day by day

Dotmatrix, since you asked here is my own sexual abuse story icon_wink.gif;)-->

THIS HAPPENED TO ME

Well, it was my first year in rez, and a good friend of mine (Brenda Roller) and I, had just made a fast hitch hike from Emporia to HQ for a two week visit at MamaInternational. The idea was for us to get a glimpse of the goins ons there, to see how things worked, etc.

At one point, I needed to get the pants of my burgundy colored three piece polyester suit hemmed correctly, because the job I had done on them had left them a little too short, and the guys back at the Big E kept calling me "Highwater", and saying things like, "Hey Jonny! You expectin a flood?" Well, I knew they had a point there, but I never could get an appointment at the sewing dept back at Emporia, so I thought I would see if I could get it done at HQ.

And low and behold, before I could even ask around, that first Corps night I found that my needs were going to be met! As I was getting ready to leave the BRC, this pretty blonde woman around thirty years old with a "Rev" on her name tag came up to me and said brightly in a sweet southern accent; "Heya there"Jonny", as she looks down at my poorly hemmed pants and continues; "Looks like you could use a hem job there! Why don't you come over to the sewing department and let me fix you all up?" So I told her ok, I'd be there if I could get the time to do it. And she was off and out the door. And of course, since the scripture is true, that verse in Romans 7 came to pass which says; "When I will to do good, evil is present with me" as I asked my self, did she say "hem?" or "hum?" But I shook the wayward thought and decided that it was nice to be able to get the damned pants fixed.

So, the next day, sometime in the afternoon, I went over to this trailer which served as the sewing department. When I went in she was really nice and said; "Oh you came by! I was just about to close! Here. You are going to have to get those blue jeans off and put your suit pants on so I can make some measurements. I'll just slip into the back". But first she put a closed sign on the door, presumably so that she would only have this last job to do for the day. So, I wait till I can't see her anymore and whip off my jeans and put on the suit pants and then my cowboy boots. I usually wore my cowboy boots with my suit you see. My one suit..

Then, as I was standing there and she was looking me up and down, she says with a mischievous smile; Do you dress to the left or to the right?" Well, I had no idea what she was talking about. Because of that mishievous smile, I am thinking; Is this like the carpenters trick on the apprentice about using a left handed hammer? But also at this time, I was getting mysteriously aroused. There was just something in the air there that was getting to me. The grin was a big part of it, and I was beginning to feel that this peculiar question about "dressing to the left or right" had something to do with it also.

So, I said to her; "What do you mean, do I dress to the left or to the right?" And she says; " You know, when you put your pants on, which side does your equipment hang on, the left side or the right?" As she stared straight at my zipper. And man, did I turn beet red as the whole thing became clear! I started stammering and stuttering as I began to try and figure out which side I "dressed" on. I hadn't even thought of it before! And as this was going on, her friendly smile continued, and the sexual electricity in the air grew stronger and stronger. Then she said mischievously; "Well, let's just find out!". And she just smiled at me and waited for a response. And there was a certain response, but I think it was "involuntary". And I was thinking; 'Oh my God! What does THAT mean? Is she going to have me "drop trow" right here and now and give an inspection?!" My mind really was running "epiluo" if you get my drift..

But then she says; "Let me measure your inseam", and she bent down with her tape measure and proceeded to measure me.

The first thing she did was take one end of the tape and slide it up the inside of my thigh right up against my "equipment" and holds the tape there as she says in that very nice southern accent; "Now see? There "you" are. You dress to the right. You need to know this when you go in to have a suit tailor made for you or if you rent a tux or something". But she kept her hand up in there as she measured down to my heel. Then she did the other leg. Whoa! Sha-wing!

Well, by this time, there was no hiding what had been occurring in my physiology. Those polyester suit pants were just way too loose! In one sense I was "way enjoying it", but I was also "way confused" too. Here was this gal. A Reverend, and it appeared as if she was getting just a wee bit "fresh" with me. Well no, not just a wee bit fresh, I was in effect being seduced in a manner similar to the way that Faye Dunaway seduced Dustin Hoffman in "Little Big Man!" Man, it was really weird and wonderful all at the same time!! I had come to HQ as a part of the Corps program to better myself as a Christian leader. To be around Reverends, maybe Dr. Wierwille, or at least Jonny Townshend, and now here was this Reverend woman doing just the very things that I used to entertain with GLEE before I became a believer! Oh man oh man! What to do?!

As she stood up smiling at me, she looked down and said in false surprise; "Oh my! Just look at that!" But proceeded with the faux "pants fitting session" by saying; "Now you see, we women have a whole different situation going on down there. You boys have all of that equipment ya know, where we girls don't have anything at all! Just look!" And she puts her hands to her crotch and pulls upward so that her pants were pressed up into her, ah, into her, uh, (I just can't say it!) into her "Y" area and says again; "See I don't have anything but this little old twat here and you have all of that nice equipment! And that makes the hem job for a guy very different from a girl!"

Man! There was no question in my mind now that she definitely wanted me for a zesty session right there in that trailer! She wanted to help me "achieve Shangrilah" and take her there with her! But man, was I confused! I was thinking of hot, yummy, torrid sex, and "let not fornication and all uncleanliness be once named among you as you becometh a saint" all at the same time!!

"Could it be that all of this is really "OK" and that this is part of my Corps training?" And if so, then it would actually be my duty to proceed with this aspect of my training!

OR, is it what I really think: A horny woman with a Rev tag who wants some extra curricular activity with me, the vulnerable 22 year old, first year Corps kid..Which was it? What to do God?

Well, you know what I did..I fled from the trailer naked and wounded! No, actually, I just told her that I had to be going, grabbed my blue leans and left. Now, did I feel really bad or abused? No, not really. Actually I was kinda flattered. I didn't really tell anybody except for a couple of guy friends. Since she was single at the time, I just figured that she was horny and wanted to get it on, although I did figure that it wasn't really the right thing for her to be doing as a clergy woman. But then I figured also that she was human, just like me. I certainly didn't think of it as the tip of the iceberg of a "sex farm" or anything. Maybe because I am a guy it didn't seem so invasive as it might have been for a woman..

[This message was edited by Jonny Lingo on January 05, 2004 at 15:31.]

[This message was edited by Jonny Lingo on January 05, 2004 at 18:06.]

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Linda Z said:

quote:
I freely admit that I remain thankful that VPW, however it happened, and whatever his motives were for doing so, taught PFAL. I don't buy it all now, but I haven't discarded it all, either. It was the wake-up call I needed at the time in my crazy life when it came along. That doesn't mean I idolize VPW. God knew what I needed and who could reach my heart to the point that I'd believe that He was really, really, really real.

I can't say it any better and this reflects my experience as well. Thanks Linda.

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johnny lingo's story makes me sad....

you know, i could say something like, well she was wasn't married, she didn't tell you why it was god's will for you to learn about how to love with the love of god, or teach her to love with her body while she teaches you to love with your heart, dah dah dah

but hell, she was an ordained clergyperson (with a responsibility and awesome position supposedly, right ?) and you were "brand new" in the way corps program

it's not like you two were dating and falling in love (or somehow got caught up in a consensual passionate moment)

there were a few ordained girls that i have to wonder how they got their status. i'm sorry if i sound cruel. and like i've said before, i find it hard to know where a person was at mentally or in their past, etc.

but i can tell you this, wierwille handed out some very strange ordinations (i'm certainly not referring to everyone) seemingly as a way of thanks (god forgive me)

if that makes sense

?

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Yeah, Excath, so much for being excited about "getting being around ordained people". Oh, I guess I got excited all right, but just in the wrong way..

I must say though, being around Johnny Townshend was certainly a blessing. I really enjoyed my time with him! He really loved..And maybe still does?

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Johnny,

I don't have all of the details...and really don't want to have anymore details than I already have...but RU being in the military at the time was a twist that I've not been able to untangle. Maybe it's an old-time "don't ask, don't tell" situation? I dunno. SU's involvement? I don't want know that, either. Remember, the information I have is partially coming from those who were at HQ at the time. Who knows how much those people knew...or how much of that information was devised and/or tainted.

My purpose for even discussing the situation anymore is to demonstrate the depth of twi's taint...and to demonstrate how such things stay hidden.

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quote:
Originally posted by Long Gone:

Hi, early2it. I didn't think that you expected me to agree with you. I guess I was concerned that your "Amen brother" might be interpreted by some as an indication that we are "likeminded" instead of what it was, agreement with a few points. Just an overreaction on my part to the terminology, I'm sure.


Long Gone

The Amen brother was to indicate I was agreeing with you. Not the other way around

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