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Is This Your Sister's Sixth Zither?


satori001
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Betty Botter had some butter,

"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.

If I bake this bitter butter,

it would make my batter bitter.

But a bit of better butter--

that would make my batter better."

So she bought a bit of butter,

better than her bitter butter,

and she baked it in her batter,

and the batter was not bitter.

So 'twas better Betty Botter

bought a bit of better butter

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contrary to some people's opinions here:

I am a pleasant mother pheasant plucker.

I pluck mother pheasants.

I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker

That ever plucked a mother pheasant.

(courtesy of Rick Steves' phrasebooks and dictionaries)

~HAP

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I thought that one was a hoot and I have to stay away from this thread because I love these things but before I go...

Mr. See and Mr. Soar were old friends. See

owned a saw and Soar owned a seesaw. Now

See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar

saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar

seen See's saw before See saw Soar's seesaw,

then See's saw would not have sawed Soar's

seesaw. But See saw Soar's seesaw before

Soar saw See's saw so See's saw sawed Soar's

seesaw. It was a shame to let See see Soar

so sore because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.

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The lad played in the tub with his boat.

Then moving too quickly the dinghy hit his thingy and after a slap by the chap the tub was missing a hunk.

Years later the dude sat and dreamed of a hunk that his toy boat in the tub had robbed of becoming a stud.

But a daddy he still was able to be.

As his lad's dog gave a bark and his daughter arguing with his wife said "no mom tuna is not meat".

So the lad now a guy threw out a toy boat for the dog to ketch and the gentleman wished he'd learned how to spell.

But that dog was a treasure being the finest of a pointer never dragging his bottom all the while with the half-pint running behind in his hand a toy ship.

Daddy leaned back in his tub and the steamboat he now owned continued to float a tad like the tub of the lad when he was just a lad sitting in his tub.

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1. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

2. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

3. 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

4. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

5. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

6. A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.

7. For people who like peace and quiet - a phone-less cord.

8. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

9. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

10. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

11. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

12. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

13. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

14. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

15. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

16. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

17. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

18. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

(just because I wanted to)

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Okay, I'm going to find something to do while I wait for someone to get me out of my garage.

But before I go here's some more....

Whether the weather be fine,

Or whether the weather be not,

Whether the weather be cold

Or whether the weather be hot,

We'll weather the weather

Whatever the weather,

Whether we like it or not.

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I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

The shells she sells are surely seashells.

So if she sells shells on the seashore,

I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Mrs. Smith's Fish Sauce Shop.

"Surely Sylvia swims!" shrieked Sammy, surprised.

"Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink."

A Tudor who tooted a flute

tried to tutor two tooters to toot.

Said the two to their tutor,

"Is it harder to toot

or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

(Shamelessly copied from another site!!!)

:P

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David, the Tutor who tooted a flute is one I say all the time!

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick

There was a young fellow named Hall

Who fell in the spring in the fall

t'would have been a sad thing

if he'd died in the spring

but he didn't he died in the fall

I'm not the fig plucker I'm the fig plucker's son but I'll pluck the figs til the fig plucker comes :biglaugh:

A big black bug bit the big black bear

A box of mixed biscuits, a mixed biscuit box

Little Susie took a drink

but she shall drink no more

for what she thought was H2O

Was H2SO4

Six simple simons sucking suckers

Seven Syrian sailors sailing the seven seas

Once upon a baren moar

there dwelt a bear, also a boar

the bear couldn't bear the boar

the boar thought the bear a bore

At last the boar could bear no more

So one morn, he bored the bear

The bear shall bore the bore no more

There was a young fisher named Fischer

Who fished for a fish in a fissure.

The fish with a grin,

Pulled the fisherman in;

Now they're fishing the fissure for Fischer

I could go on and on!! LOL!! I LOVE tongue twisters and "ditties"

I often start telling 'em when I'm with a group of kids!!

Surely?

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I could go on and on!! LOL!! I LOVE tongue twisters and "ditties"

I often start telling 'em when I'm with a group of kids!!

Surely?

I could see you loving these things, uh huh! Good to see you dear.

And Surely came from Airplane (1980) which I thought had some of the funniest lines I've ever heard. It was probably not all that funny to everyone but nearly every time I see the word surely I think of this:

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.

Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

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