Thank you for your response. I agree with you. Since I don't even know who I'm writing to I'd have to say "get over it" is too harsh and I apologize.
I failed to mention that I and all my peers were trashed also. I think in my case I was raised by a very strong Dad who made more of an impression on me than VPW, which probably made it easier to leave. By the way , I wasn't a gun toting cowboy on a daily basis, it was just once, and Chris Geer set me up with it, and I didn't know how TWI abused women until after I left the thing. I actually didn't know that anywhere near the amount went on as I am finding out now. Once again, I apologize, and thank you for your response.
Eagle
Dear Eagle 709. Sometimes people just need to talk. Sometimes it's hard to find people who understand what it was like. Each person is at a different place. There is not one quote or phrase that is a cure all. I think you have to really know someone before prescribing that they "get over it".
I do know someone I wish I could say that to. She was hurt by the way. They never should have treated her the way they did. But she does get annoying because it's been almost ten years and I am sick of hearing about it. I'm also sick of hearing her blame her parents, her siblings, coworkers, spouse, me etc... for her life being miserable.
She has worn me down because nothing has changed or become even a little better. She even once said that her kids would be permanently traumatized because of her life experiences. She's planning on upseting them with things that happened before they were born and don't have anything to do with. But she's like that. She enjoys feeling sorry for herself and likes holding grudges. But the reason I know this is because I have spent a lot of time with her. But I still haven't told her to just "get over It." Although I'm dangerously close.
Point being, sometimes someone does need to be told to "get over it". But i would be very careful about who you say it to. What if they still need some time to talk and sort things out and you scare them off, thus making their recovery take that much longer?
Perhaps your friend is not getting over it because there are issues that require more than time to heal. Perhaps she needs counseling, or is depressed and could find medical help or a combination. Outside of TWI, there is no shame in seeking such help or suggesting it to a loved one.
Thanks, that is very thoughtful for you to point that out. She has sought professional help, but it hasn't been very helpful yet because from what she tells me, she doesn't tell them what her issues are. There is a great side to her personality, but the bitterness she carries can be overwhelming at times for those around her. She's lost a lot of friends because of it. It's sad,really.
Thank you for your response. I agree with you. Since I don't even know who I'm writing to I'd have to say "get over it" is too harsh and I apologize.
I failed to mention that I and all my peers were trashed also. I think in my case I was raised by a very strong Dad who made more of an impression on me than VPW, which probably made it easier to leave. By the way , I wasn't a gun toting cowboy on a daily basis, it was just once, and Chris Geer set me up with it, and I didn't know how TWI abused women until after I left the thing. I actually didn't know that anywhere near the amount went on as I am finding out now. Once again, I apologize, and thank you for your response.
Eagle
Thanks for your response too. That's cool about your Dad.
The "cure" comes in bits and pieces. Sometimes it's through kindness and understanding. Other times it's through a swift kick to the mental derriere. Think of it like a puzzle. The pieces can all be there, spread out on the table. One day you get a few pieces to fit. Other days you get all the mountain done. You have to be looking and trying to solve the problem - but the work pays off and eventually you get a complete, whole picture.
Who's to say when and where and how that moment of epiphany will come?
People aren't cake mixes. You can't simply add milk and stir.
Like Crystalclearblue said, there are some times that a one-on-one "get over it already" is appropriate and necessary... and most of all HELPFUL. The timing of those words is critical. They cannot be rattled off flippantly.
There are times that someone has properly chosen to tell me to get over something and move on with my life. Those times have helped my immensely. The words always came from someone who had my best interest at heart and not just that they were tired of hearing me. When I stop bucking and listen - then I really find the areas where I am actually working against myself.
Thank you for your response. I agree with you. Since I don't even know who I'm writing to I'd have to say "get over it" is too harsh and I apologize.
I failed to mention that I and all my peers were trashed also. I think in my case I was raised by a very strong Dad who made more of an impression on me than VPW, which probably made it easier to leave. By the way , I wasn't a gun toting cowboy on a daily basis, it was just once, and Chris Geer set me up with it, and I didn't know how TWI abused women until after I left the thing. I actually didn't know that anywhere near the amount went on as I am finding out now. Once again, I apologize, and thank you for your response.
Eagle
Nice post. . .thanks for that. . . can I make you a hat too? Here is a thought. . . random as most of mine usually are. . . . maybe you actually have some things to address within your own life and learning more of what happened can help you to do that? I don't know you or about you. . . . so. . . as I said. . . . just a random thought.
That cult permeated thought patterns. . . our ability to assess. . . even the compassion we naturally have for others was tempered by a warped view of love. A keen sense of justice with a basic understanding of right vs wrong was nearly nonexistent. Do you remember what it was like?
It can take time and some ugly revelations to rebuild the person you were meant to be. . . before the "Way". What were you looking for?
I think I read you still look forward to the return of the Lord? Do you have a church? Can you be with the Christian populace at large without holding yourself apart? Has it dawned on you yet, we may have been the ones who really had it backward?
What is wrong with the question. . . "How can I help you to get over it?"
You said you knew what was going on. . . . maybe you really don't quite know the depth yet. . . . whether you evaluate TWI from a Christian perspective. . . secular. . . or some spiritual angle. . . . . . it is important to reason it out and evaluate it. . . . considering any residual effects it may have in your own life. Again IMHO.
Another random thought. . . . .the NT gives a few cursory nods to Satan. . . but, have you ever looked at the time and language devoted to false teachers?
and made a few posts in the last couple of months, and in my meager opinion, y'all just don't want to get over it.
I agree that your opinion is meager.
Do you have lives?
No...we devote all of our time crabbing and crying about things that happened years ago. All of my clothes have the Grease Spot logo on them. I have a chip embedded in my head that keeps me logged on to GS 24/7.
It's been 23 years since I left the ministry.
The ministry? It makes me ill to hear TWI referred to as The Ministry
Please don't tell me I didn't know what was going on.
Okay. Why would you think that someone would tell you that?
I lived with J.P. at Emporia and packed a gun doing "bless patrol".
Gee, all that I got was a yellow hat. Well I did get to make out with a gal named Jeannie while guarding Wierwille's home one night...that's better than a gun.
Time to move on kids.
I'm not your f---'n kid, Skippy
We should have some kind of automated response to these preachy b*st*rds, I'm tired of it myself.
I've read this site, and made a few posts in the last couple of months, and in my meager opinion, y'all just don't want to get over it.
Do you have lives?
It's been 23 years since I left the ministry. Please don't tell me I didn't know what was going on. I lived with J.P. at Emporia and packed a gun doing "bless patrol". Time to move on kids.
Eagle
Thank you for your response. I agree with you. Since I don't even know who I'm writing to I'd have to say "get over it" is too harsh and I apologize.
I failed to mention that I and all my peers were trashed also. I think in my case I was raised by a very strong Dad who made more of an impression on me than VPW, which probably made it easier to leave. By the way , I wasn't a gun toting cowboy on a daily basis, it was just once, and Chris Geer set me up with it, and I didn't know how TWI abused women until after I left the thing. I actually didn't know that anywhere near the amount went on as I am finding out now. Once again, I apologize, and thank you for your response.
I really like the contrast here between you last two posts Oakspear and Wordwolf!
So I am going to have some fun and put some thoughts down concerning the contrast between the emotional reaction of Oakspear and the reasonable intentions of Wordwolf and see what comes out in the wash. (so-to-speak)
Dear Eagle,
I have to pretty much agree with Oakspear's reaction. Because, yes, a lot of people here have been to hell and back more than once riding on the leadership of those who, whether intentionally or not were judgemental preachy bastards. And as in TWI when the judgmental and preachy bastards also happen to have complete and total control over people's lives and more or less completely ruin them I just hope that you give us a little space to vent.
And on my part, I will not hold it against you that your first post shows the judmental and preachy tendency that many of us understandably have come to despise.
And I would give you the same privilidge as anyone to learn and grow, period.
But emotionally speaking, a judgmental and preachy bastard needs an entirely different lesson than their pride tends to want to allow. I think that even a judgmental and preachy bastard can gain ground if he/she even learns to actually shed some tears for those whose lives are so wrecked that all they manage to be able to do is lash out in pain.
But if the judgmental and preachy bastard actually doesn't ever learn to relate to the broken souls they try to preach to...well...I think that whether it is proper or not, they just may get a little crap for it.
And even if the broken soul never actually says it to the judgmental and preachy bastard, the broken souls do have the ability to spot judgmental and preachy bastards IMO. But that ability comes from the school of hard knocks.
So as you, EAGLE, are not actually controlling the lives of the victims of TWI that are at the Greasespot (THANK GOD) I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO DO MY BEST TO EXTEND YOU THE KINDNESS OF ALLOWING YOU TO LEARN WITHOUT ANY INTERFERENCE FROM ME.
Thanks, that is very thoughtful for you to point that out. She has sought professional help, but it hasn't been very helpful yet because from what she tells me, she doesn't tell them what her issues are. There is a great side to her personality, but the bitterness she carries can be overwhelming at times for those around her. She's lost a lot of friends because of it. It's sad,really.
it took me several years of intensive therapy before I could admit I'd been in a cult. I was simply too ashamed, and afraid no one could relate. it's entirely possible that your friend has the same fear, which is preventing her from healing, and the hurt is just festering and leaking out everywhere. how can you get to the point of acceptance (and I don't even believe in the forgiveness bullsh!t that the touchy-feely spiritual therapies embrace - sorry if that offends anyone, but I think forgiveness is over-rated) and if you don't get there, the bitterness won't go away.
I do know someone I wish I could say that to. She was hurt by the way. They never should have treated her the way they did. But she does get annoying because it's been almost ten years and I am sick of hearing about it. I'm also sick of hearing her blame her parents, her siblings, coworkers, spouse, me etc... for her life being miserable.
She has worn me down because nothing has changed or become even a little better. She even once said that her kids would be permanently traumatized because of her life experiences. She's planning on upseting them with things that happened before they were born and don't have anything to do with. But she's like that. She enjoys feeling sorry for herself and likes holding grudges. But the reason I know this is because I have spent a lot of time with her. But I still haven't told her to just "get over It." Although I'm dangerously close.
Send her this way. There are more than a few people here that she could share experiences with and perhaps get some perspective, or at least have someone else to talk to besides you.
Good book I'm reading right now - "Let Your Goddess Grow" Gets into a lot of that holding on stuff.
The few times I have tried to relate my experience to those outside the land of cults. . . I got that "and you seemed so normal" look.
My kids were little when we left, but my daughter remembers certain people and fellowships. We always told her it was a bible group and left it at that. . . . but when she was 15 we went and picked her up at the airport. . . . . she had been in England for the summer. . . instead of "Hi Mom and Dad". . . "I missed you". . . it was "Uncle Rick said you guys were in a cult".
That was a fun ride home.
Liberating? No. . . I am still fighting with abject humiliation.
Liberating? No. . . I am still fighting with abject humiliation.
Humiliated because you made some bad choices? Everyone makes bad choices. It's the ones who don't "owe" up to them that you need to watch out for.
A lot of very good people were sucked in by the empty promises. Some were really sucked in. Some remain sucked in.
I don't walk up to people and tell them I was in a cult, but I don't avoid the topic. I honestly believe it has given me compassion and a perspective that I might not otherwise have gained had I been a part of "orthodoxy" all along.
As for "normal," everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
it took me several years of intensive therapy before I could admit I'd been in a cult. I was simply too ashamed, and afraid no one could relate. it's entirely possible that your friend has the same fear, which is preventing her from healing, and the hurt is just festering and leaking out everywhere. how can you get to the point of acceptance (and I don't even believe in the forgiveness bullsh!t that the touchy-feely spiritual therapies embrace - sorry if that offends anyone, but I think forgiveness is over-rated) and if you don't get there, the bitterness won't go away.
I've known her for a long time and she was actually a bitter person even before her way experience. The way experience certainly didn't help. I know what you mean about being ashamed-some of the things that went on or that I participated in the way are just too embarrassing to even want to talk about to anyone.
Send her this way. There are more than a few people here that she could share experiences with and perhaps get some perspective, or at least have someone else to talk to besides you.
Good book I'm reading right now - "Let Your Goddess Grow" Gets into a lot of that holding on stuff.
She actually was the one who told me about gs cafe. She said she stopped posting a few years ago. That book sounds interesting, I'm going to see if the library has it tomorrow. Thanks for the recommendation.
Yesterday, Eagle 709 apologized for the way he wrote that post. He got the point and he was sorry. He changed his position. How about giving some understanding towards him? Likewise, we don't know what he has gone through and maybe being harsh to him AFTER he tried to make it right will shut him down when he needs to talk.
(I hope he posts more about his Dad, that sounded really cool. A lot of us didn't have a strong parent to draw from.)
I so agree that many good people got sucked in. . . . many who post here. The one thing I really like here is that I may be judged by what I write. . . but, I will never be judged for being in a cult. This is the only place I speak of it. . . or to people from here.
If it were only as simple as "bad choices". . . however, some made are irrevocable. . . and that might be the case anyway. . . but the reasoning I used borders on the insane. . . and that is a tough one to take. It really is. . .
Right now I have a group of young men and women meeting in my house. . . in a few days they are off to Moldova to bring aid to an orphan camp. They are doing this on their own initiative. . . they went last year too. They have raised nearly 70 Grand from car washes to sponsors, working hard all year for this trip. They are making a true difference in the lives of others. . . and ORPHANS on top of it!!
What did I do at that age? Went WOW and was a family dictator coordinator. Do you realize women girls were subtly encouraged to entice men to fellowship? What the heck was wrong with me?
What an ugly waste of time all of it was. It took me years to catch up on my education and I will be paying that puppy off forever. Retirement won't be a picnic unless I step it up a notch. . . I own a home, but hey. . . that was a fluke.
Too many years in that mess and too many years getting over it.
I own up to it to myself. . . but it still is what it is. . . an embarrassment. No, we actually DO hide it from people. Just too hard to explain. . . . and not your garden-variety youthful indiscretions. :)
But that is me. . . I am glad you can gain from it. . . you seem like a strong person. . . I try to remember the good people from it and the few good times.
Geisha, for your own sake, find some meaning in it, even if the meaning is that some really bad decisions were made. Some lessons are hard learned and that's the reality. The important thing is to not give in to the self-defeating talk. Yes, it would be nice to be in a different place by now, but you aren't, and for that matter, neither am I. It would have been much cheaper for me to have finished college in the 70s, but I didn't until last year, and I'm still looking for work and have a lot of student loan debt. But I did it, and so did you. Chalk it up to being a late-bloomer.
TWI didn't damage me deeply because I was already reeling from damage and was very sensitive to getting sucked into something that wasn't in my best interest. Had it been 2 or 3 years earlier, my story may have been very different. But by the time I signed the green card I had already made up my mind to not throw myself into anything where I would have to relinquish control. I caught on early that the deeper one got into TWI, the more control one had to relinquish. Back then, being the wet blanket to somebody's power trip was no fun, but I really couldn't see the benefit of letting others have their way with me, even if they were invoking God, so I didn't.
I can think of far worse judgment calls than getting sucked into a cult and you did finally wise up. Some haven't.
for me it really was. instead of hiding from the cult experience, I was then able to start dissecting it and disentangling myself from it. once I got past that, I was then able to start recovering from the damage done by my marriage and my upbringing. still a work in progress :)
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
9
9
4
5
Popular Days
Jul 13
29
Jul 14
18
Jul 15
18
Jul 12
3
Top Posters In This Topic
Tzaia 9 posts
geisha779 9 posts
brainfixed 4 posts
crystalclearblue 5 posts
Popular Days
Jul 13 2009
29 posts
Jul 14 2009
18 posts
Jul 15 2009
18 posts
Jul 12 2009
3 posts
Popular Posts
Tzaia
My tendency would be to frame it a bit differently. I don't know if you read and listened to my spiel on "compensators" but there are rational and logical reasons for becoming involved in a cult or ot
Tzaia
Great insight, Chockfull
Tzaia
Very few people are immune to the tug. Very few join an organization with the idea that using and abusing is part of the dynamic. Some people have no idea what that looks like, while some people have
eagle709
Thank you for your response. I agree with you. Since I don't even know who I'm writing to I'd have to say "get over it" is too harsh and I apologize.
I failed to mention that I and all my peers were trashed also. I think in my case I was raised by a very strong Dad who made more of an impression on me than VPW, which probably made it easier to leave. By the way , I wasn't a gun toting cowboy on a daily basis, it was just once, and Chris Geer set me up with it, and I didn't know how TWI abused women until after I left the thing. I actually didn't know that anywhere near the amount went on as I am finding out now. Once again, I apologize, and thank you for your response.
Eagle
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
Link to comment
Share on other sites
crystalclearblue
Thanks, that is very thoughtful for you to point that out. She has sought professional help, but it hasn't been very helpful yet because from what she tells me, she doesn't tell them what her issues are. There is a great side to her personality, but the bitterness she carries can be overwhelming at times for those around her. She's lost a lot of friends because of it. It's sad,really.
Thanks for your response too. That's cool about your Dad.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Broken Arrow
An insight that would make George Carlin proud, I must say. It's about time someone started thinking whole thoughts around here.
Edited by erkjohnLink to comment
Share on other sites
RumRunner
I say! Why thank you! Carlin...heh heh heh...now ya can't go wrong with Carlin
Link to comment
Share on other sites
doojable
The "cure" comes in bits and pieces. Sometimes it's through kindness and understanding. Other times it's through a swift kick to the mental derriere. Think of it like a puzzle. The pieces can all be there, spread out on the table. One day you get a few pieces to fit. Other days you get all the mountain done. You have to be looking and trying to solve the problem - but the work pays off and eventually you get a complete, whole picture.
Who's to say when and where and how that moment of epiphany will come?
People aren't cake mixes. You can't simply add milk and stir.
Like Crystalclearblue said, there are some times that a one-on-one "get over it already" is appropriate and necessary... and most of all HELPFUL. The timing of those words is critical. They cannot be rattled off flippantly.
There are times that someone has properly chosen to tell me to get over something and move on with my life. Those times have helped my immensely. The words always came from someone who had my best interest at heart and not just that they were tired of hearing me. When I stop bucking and listen - then I really find the areas where I am actually working against myself.
Oh well... another $.02 to add to the pot.
Edited by doojableLink to comment
Share on other sites
geisha779
Nice post. . .thanks for that. . . can I make you a hat too? Here is a thought. . . random as most of mine usually are. . . . maybe you actually have some things to address within your own life and learning more of what happened can help you to do that? I don't know you or about you. . . . so. . . as I said. . . . just a random thought.
That cult permeated thought patterns. . . our ability to assess. . . even the compassion we naturally have for others was tempered by a warped view of love. A keen sense of justice with a basic understanding of right vs wrong was nearly nonexistent. Do you remember what it was like?
It can take time and some ugly revelations to rebuild the person you were meant to be. . . before the "Way". What were you looking for?
I think I read you still look forward to the return of the Lord? Do you have a church? Can you be with the Christian populace at large without holding yourself apart? Has it dawned on you yet, we may have been the ones who really had it backward?
What is wrong with the question. . . "How can I help you to get over it?"
You said you knew what was going on. . . . maybe you really don't quite know the depth yet. . . . whether you evaluate TWI from a Christian perspective. . . secular. . . or some spiritual angle. . . . . . it is important to reason it out and evaluate it. . . . considering any residual effects it may have in your own life. Again IMHO.
Another random thought. . . . .the NT gives a few cursory nods to Satan. . . but, have you ever looked at the time and language devoted to false teachers?
Edited by geisha779Link to comment
Share on other sites
Oakspear
We should have some kind of automated response to these preachy b*st*rds, I'm tired of it myself.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bluzeman
Dude! You got the G-Chip? I TOLD you that thing would give you brain damage! Pull it out, NOW!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Link to comment
Share on other sites
JeffSjo
I really like the contrast here between you last two posts Oakspear and Wordwolf!
So I am going to have some fun and put some thoughts down concerning the contrast between the emotional reaction of Oakspear and the reasonable intentions of Wordwolf and see what comes out in the wash. (so-to-speak)
Dear Eagle,
I have to pretty much agree with Oakspear's reaction. Because, yes, a lot of people here have been to hell and back more than once riding on the leadership of those who, whether intentionally or not were judgemental preachy bastards. And as in TWI when the judgmental and preachy bastards also happen to have complete and total control over people's lives and more or less completely ruin them I just hope that you give us a little space to vent.
And on my part, I will not hold it against you that your first post shows the judmental and preachy tendency that many of us understandably have come to despise.
And I would give you the same privilidge as anyone to learn and grow, period.
But emotionally speaking, a judgmental and preachy bastard needs an entirely different lesson than their pride tends to want to allow. I think that even a judgmental and preachy bastard can gain ground if he/she even learns to actually shed some tears for those whose lives are so wrecked that all they manage to be able to do is lash out in pain.
But if the judgmental and preachy bastard actually doesn't ever learn to relate to the broken souls they try to preach to...well...I think that whether it is proper or not, they just may get a little crap for it.
And even if the broken soul never actually says it to the judgmental and preachy bastard, the broken souls do have the ability to spot judgmental and preachy bastards IMO. But that ability comes from the school of hard knocks.
So as you, EAGLE, are not actually controlling the lives of the victims of TWI that are at the Greasespot (THANK GOD) I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO DO MY BEST TO EXTEND YOU THE KINDNESS OF ALLOWING YOU TO LEARN WITHOUT ANY INTERFERENCE FROM ME.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
potato
it took me several years of intensive therapy before I could admit I'd been in a cult. I was simply too ashamed, and afraid no one could relate. it's entirely possible that your friend has the same fear, which is preventing her from healing, and the hurt is just festering and leaking out everywhere. how can you get to the point of acceptance (and I don't even believe in the forgiveness bullsh!t that the touchy-feely spiritual therapies embrace - sorry if that offends anyone, but I think forgiveness is over-rated) and if you don't get there, the bitterness won't go away.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tzaia
Send her this way. There are more than a few people here that she could share experiences with and perhaps get some perspective, or at least have someone else to talk to besides you.
Good book I'm reading right now - "Let Your Goddess Grow" Gets into a lot of that holding on stuff.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Oakspear
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tzaia
Isn't doing so liberating?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
geisha779
It is not something I would put on my resume.
The few times I have tried to relate my experience to those outside the land of cults. . . I got that "and you seemed so normal" look.
My kids were little when we left, but my daughter remembers certain people and fellowships. We always told her it was a bible group and left it at that. . . . but when she was 15 we went and picked her up at the airport. . . . . she had been in England for the summer. . . instead of "Hi Mom and Dad". . . "I missed you". . . it was "Uncle Rick said you guys were in a cult".
That was a fun ride home.
Liberating? No. . . I am still fighting with abject humiliation.
Edited by geisha779Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tzaia
Humiliated because you made some bad choices? Everyone makes bad choices. It's the ones who don't "owe" up to them that you need to watch out for.
A lot of very good people were sucked in by the empty promises. Some were really sucked in. Some remain sucked in.
I don't walk up to people and tell them I was in a cult, but I don't avoid the topic. I honestly believe it has given me compassion and a perspective that I might not otherwise have gained had I been a part of "orthodoxy" all along.
As for "normal," everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
crystalclearblue
I've known her for a long time and she was actually a bitter person even before her way experience. The way experience certainly didn't help. I know what you mean about being ashamed-some of the things that went on or that I participated in the way are just too embarrassing to even want to talk about to anyone.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
crystalclearblue
She actually was the one who told me about gs cafe. She said she stopped posting a few years ago. That book sounds interesting, I'm going to see if the library has it tomorrow. Thanks for the recommendation.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
crystalclearblue
Yesterday, Eagle 709 apologized for the way he wrote that post. He got the point and he was sorry. He changed his position. How about giving some understanding towards him? Likewise, we don't know what he has gone through and maybe being harsh to him AFTER he tried to make it right will shut him down when he needs to talk.
(I hope he posts more about his Dad, that sounded really cool. A lot of us didn't have a strong parent to draw from.)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
geisha779
I so agree that many good people got sucked in. . . . many who post here. The one thing I really like here is that I may be judged by what I write. . . but, I will never be judged for being in a cult. This is the only place I speak of it. . . or to people from here.
If it were only as simple as "bad choices". . . however, some made are irrevocable. . . and that might be the case anyway. . . but the reasoning I used borders on the insane. . . and that is a tough one to take. It really is. . .
Right now I have a group of young men and women meeting in my house. . . in a few days they are off to Moldova to bring aid to an orphan camp. They are doing this on their own initiative. . . they went last year too. They have raised nearly 70 Grand from car washes to sponsors, working hard all year for this trip. They are making a true difference in the lives of others. . . and ORPHANS on top of it!!
What did I do at that age? Went WOW and was a family dictator coordinator. Do you realize women girls were subtly encouraged to entice men to fellowship? What the heck was wrong with me?
What an ugly waste of time all of it was. It took me years to catch up on my education and I will be paying that puppy off forever. Retirement won't be a picnic unless I step it up a notch. . . I own a home, but hey. . . that was a fluke.
Too many years in that mess and too many years getting over it.
I own up to it to myself. . . but it still is what it is. . . an embarrassment. No, we actually DO hide it from people. Just too hard to explain. . . . and not your garden-variety youthful indiscretions. :)
But that is me. . . I am glad you can gain from it. . . you seem like a strong person. . . I try to remember the good people from it and the few good times.
Edited by geisha779Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tzaia
Geisha, for your own sake, find some meaning in it, even if the meaning is that some really bad decisions were made. Some lessons are hard learned and that's the reality. The important thing is to not give in to the self-defeating talk. Yes, it would be nice to be in a different place by now, but you aren't, and for that matter, neither am I. It would have been much cheaper for me to have finished college in the 70s, but I didn't until last year, and I'm still looking for work and have a lot of student loan debt. But I did it, and so did you. Chalk it up to being a late-bloomer.
TWI didn't damage me deeply because I was already reeling from damage and was very sensitive to getting sucked into something that wasn't in my best interest. Had it been 2 or 3 years earlier, my story may have been very different. But by the time I signed the green card I had already made up my mind to not throw myself into anything where I would have to relinquish control. I caught on early that the deeper one got into TWI, the more control one had to relinquish. Back then, being the wet blanket to somebody's power trip was no fun, but I really couldn't see the benefit of letting others have their way with me, even if they were invoking God, so I didn't.
I can think of far worse judgment calls than getting sucked into a cult and you did finally wise up. Some haven't.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
potato
for me it really was. instead of hiding from the cult experience, I was then able to start dissecting it and disentangling myself from it. once I got past that, I was then able to start recovering from the damage done by my marriage and my upbringing. still a work in progress :)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Broken Arrow
Never mind.
Edited by erkjohnLink to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.