I'm very sorry to hear that Lifted Up, sorry you had to go through that. TWI screwed up and missed an excellent opportunity when it taught but failed to strictly enforce God's will when it came to believers needing their sexual needs met -- otherwise known as "marriage".
II was never full on assaulted while in TWI. I was sexually groped by women a few times, though. I can't say it had much lasting effect, other than to give me a faint glimpse of what women must frequently endure.
There was an incident at ROA (Rock of Ages), however, that struck a chord with me. As I was lying half asleep in my tent, another man entered from behind me and assumed I was asleep. He laid down and began to fondle me. For a brief moment, I thought it was a female friend. I rolled over, realized it was a man and punched him in the face a couple of times.. I don't suppose it could have hurt very much, as I was on my back and punching upward. He got to his feet and fled immediately. It happened very quickly, it was dark and he was turned away from me, so I don't know who he was. Now, this was back in the days when everything, including homosexuality, was a "devil spirit". It didn't affect me in a sexual sense but it made me give some serious thought to my spirituality. "Why didn't I get revelation? Did I have a spirit that attracted him?"...all that sort of thing. I was an Advance Class grad, after all. I couldn't and didn't tell anyone, for fear of being seen as "spiritually weak". There was a real struggle in my mind, trying to understand why all this spiritual stuff just didn't seem to be clicking with me like it was with everyone else. A lot of unresolved thoughts and questions lingered in my mind. Well. I know it doesn't sound like much. I still remember it, though, even 50 years after the fact.
Sorry to hear that, Waysider. Very confusing for you. Confusing for a non-Christian; for an AC grad who had been taught about "homo spirits" doubly confusing. You did the right thing, punching him away.
Lifted Up, same for you.
I hope it's given you both the empathy to understand female victims of sexual assault - how it might happen, their shame around the incident (though it's not their shame at all but the perpetrator's), and their fear of telling anyone (taking sometimes years to speak out) - and fear of other such assaults.
I hope you brought up your sons/nephews/other males in your purview well - teaching them to keep their hands to themselves.
Oldiesman, Thank you. Waysider, I would say you WERE sexually assaulted. It certainly sounds as bad or worse than what happened to the two Penn State abuse survivors I have spoken with. ( I went to that school before TWI.) Twinky, empathy for female survivors is what finally led me to recalled my own assault. I was deprogrammed from TWI, and although out physically, I was still in mentally, and refused to believe anything bad happened to anyone, including myself. But I heard and saw so many accounts that my empathy led me to shudder at what they went through, I finally believed them. Then fellow 8th corps Kristen Skedgell's book brought me to the lip of the cup. And my survivor friend evidently knew I was a survivor from work I was doing for her group, of which she is currently president. She posted things she knows about male survivor issues, and my memory fell into place after 38 years, every detail. Which is not as long as the 69 years it took me to recall my child abuse. My first therapist told me early on never to underestimate the effect of my assault on myself. My survivor friend suffered through child abuse multiple times, while she was doing tv no less. I started my recovery way late (no pun meant) but it is going well with therapy, a support group, and continued contact with my survivor friend. I have also gained a couple more friends who are teaching me how though my assault was not my fault, I DO have to do things to help my own healing. Even at 75.
I "lost my virginity" at age 11. AGE ELEVEN. To a 19 year woman who was in the Corps. She was my "sub parent" while my mother was on light bearers. This woman was not at all mature or "ready" to be in a "leadership" training like The Way Corps. Not sure who thought she was a good idea.
This sort of abuse would be clearly tragic if I were a woman. As a boy, I told a few adults and got a pat on my back "ATTABOY" but mostly no one believed me.
An 11 year old is not ready for the responsibility of sex and the ensuing humiliation of me thinking she was now my girlfriend only to have her laugh at me, threaten me and tell me how bad I was in bed. I also spent a few years in my teens being sexually aggressive in an effort to get back to the promise land. It took years of therapy for me to learn healthy attitudes about sex.
Recently, I found her on Facebook and sent her a friend request. She is nearly 60 now. First she blocked me. Then she unblocked me and sent a very long apology that was vague as far as admitting her crimes. I don't think she wanted me to have actual evidence. But what she did say is that what she did to me she had done to her and that she didn't know any better and that she was haunted by it. I told her I forgave her then blocked her. I never want to see her face again.
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oldiesman
I'm very sorry to hear that Lifted Up, sorry you had to go through that. TWI screwed up and missed an excellent opportunity when it taught but failed to strictly enforce God's will when it came to believers needing their sexual needs met -- otherwise known as "marriage".
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waysider
II was never full on assaulted while in TWI. I was sexually groped by women a few times, though. I can't say it had much lasting effect, other than to give me a faint glimpse of what women must frequently endure.
There was an incident at ROA (Rock of Ages), however, that struck a chord with me. As I was lying half asleep in my tent, another man entered from behind me and assumed I was asleep. He laid down and began to fondle me. For a brief moment, I thought it was a female friend. I rolled over, realized it was a man and punched him in the face a couple of times.. I don't suppose it could have hurt very much, as I was on my back and punching upward. He got to his feet and fled immediately. It happened very quickly, it was dark and he was turned away from me, so I don't know who he was. Now, this was back in the days when everything, including homosexuality, was a "devil spirit". It didn't affect me in a sexual sense but it made me give some serious thought to my spirituality. "Why didn't I get revelation? Did I have a spirit that attracted him?"...all that sort of thing. I was an Advance Class grad, after all. I couldn't and didn't tell anyone, for fear of being seen as "spiritually weak". There was a real struggle in my mind, trying to understand why all this spiritual stuff just didn't seem to be clicking with me like it was with everyone else. A lot of unresolved thoughts and questions lingered in my mind. Well. I know it doesn't sound like much. I still remember it, though, even 50 years after the fact.
Edited by waysiderclarity
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Twinky
Sorry to hear that, Waysider. Very confusing for you. Confusing for a non-Christian; for an AC grad who had been taught about "homo spirits" doubly confusing. You did the right thing, punching him away.
Lifted Up, same for you.
I hope it's given you both the empathy to understand female victims of sexual assault - how it might happen, their shame around the incident (though it's not their shame at all but the perpetrator's), and their fear of telling anyone (taking sometimes years to speak out) - and fear of other such assaults.
I hope you brought up your sons/nephews/other males in your purview well - teaching them to keep their hands to themselves.
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Lifted Up
Oldiesman, Thank you. Waysider, I would say you WERE sexually assaulted. It certainly sounds as bad or worse than what happened to the two Penn State abuse survivors I have spoken with. ( I went to that school before TWI.) Twinky, empathy for female survivors is what finally led me to recalled my own assault. I was deprogrammed from TWI, and although out physically, I was still in mentally, and refused to believe anything bad happened to anyone, including myself. But I heard and saw so many accounts that my empathy led me to shudder at what they went through, I finally believed them. Then fellow 8th corps Kristen Skedgell's book brought me to the lip of the cup. And my survivor friend evidently knew I was a survivor from work I was doing for her group, of which she is currently president. She posted things she knows about male survivor issues, and my memory fell into place after 38 years, every detail. Which is not as long as the 69 years it took me to recall my child abuse. My first therapist told me early on never to underestimate the effect of my assault on myself. My survivor friend suffered through child abuse multiple times, while she was doing tv no less. I started my recovery way late (no pun meant) but it is going well with therapy, a support group, and continued contact with my survivor friend. I have also gained a couple more friends who are teaching me how though my assault was not my fault, I DO have to do things to help my own healing. Even at 75.
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waysider
Article on Dr. Strauss (abuse of athletes)
HERE
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Junior Corps Surviver
I "lost my virginity" at age 11. AGE ELEVEN. To a 19 year woman who was in the Corps. She was my "sub parent" while my mother was on light bearers. This woman was not at all mature or "ready" to be in a "leadership" training like The Way Corps. Not sure who thought she was a good idea.
This sort of abuse would be clearly tragic if I were a woman. As a boy, I told a few adults and got a pat on my back "ATTABOY" but mostly no one believed me.
An 11 year old is not ready for the responsibility of sex and the ensuing humiliation of me thinking she was now my girlfriend only to have her laugh at me, threaten me and tell me how bad I was in bed. I also spent a few years in my teens being sexually aggressive in an effort to get back to the promise land. It took years of therapy for me to learn healthy attitudes about sex.
Recently, I found her on Facebook and sent her a friend request. She is nearly 60 now. First she blocked me. Then she unblocked me and sent a very long apology that was vague as far as admitting her crimes. I don't think she wanted me to have actual evidence. But what she did say is that what she did to me she had done to her and that she didn't know any better and that she was haunted by it. I told her I forgave her then blocked her. I never want to see her face again.
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