Dearest posters, Judging by the lack of responce I sence that maybe I'v been a little intrusive. For this I aplogize. I guess what I'm asking is...Since we are not greaspots and are still here,I'd like to hear some sucsess stories of "Life without The Way"in any catagory you wish to share.
I am so Thankful to my higher power that I am still alive and have tremendous possibilities. available.
All of us have had many events (good, bad and ugly)that have happened in our lives that helped shape us into what we are today.
Some people here have overcome a great deal of adversity. Some have not had the challanges that needed to be overcome.
My story is actually fairly boreing, so I will spare you...
Most of the people here are "good people" who will help with encouragement that we all need from time to time.
Most of us have figured out the we "don't have all the answers", and there is nothing wrong with that. Most of us also realize that sometimes people need help from trained professionals with some problems, and needing help is not a "charactor flaw".
Here at GS, friendships have been made. Having friends is always a good thing :)-->
I wanted to respond to you without sharing my story, But I will say that since ending
my involvement with the way. I hold the ownership of my time left on earth like a closely guarded treasure. The bliss of a Sunday morning, where I can do as I please, a lazy day, reading the Sunday Times in bed, brunch in an open air cafe
with a friend.
Just being free to be me ! :D--> That is one little tidbit of my success.
Imbus, you would surely get many more response's if you move your story to the "my story" threads.
thank you imbus for sharing. not intrusive in the least, just - oh i don't know - so honest. you are amazing. with all you've done to help people. i would find it much too stressful to work with emotionally abused kids, etc.
i'm so happy i'm not in the way anymore even though i miss some of the great friends i made.
i have zero desire to belong to a church or much of anything for that matter.
thanks again. and i'm sorry for your heartaches. so glad you're doing good now.
I'm not ready to post a book about my life on the My Story thread, but I will respond here.
I'm one of those who remained in the Way long after I would have liked to leave, because my spouse wanted to stay in.(There's kind of a discussion about that on another thread.) Those three years were the most difficult of my life.
I wasn't aware of all the LCM crap going on, or about the VPW stuff, either. I just knew how miserably we(especially me!)were treated by our local leadership. I could do nothing well enough to please that man, neither could my kids(my fault, of course,) but my husband was treated well. The HFC was sly, getting in his nastiest digs when DH wasn't around.
The Way was our life. DH was one of the wows who got me in the Word, our marriage was highly encouraged by our then leadership, I knew he was good guy and would be a great husband, father, and twig coordinator--which he was. Then a lay off, hospital bills etc. Bad time--haven't had one that bad since. We were counseled to sell our house, cease being TC and move to the Big City--the limb. We did it.
Finances were actually worse--our rent was higher than our mortgage had been. I took a night job, so we didn't have to pay daycare. Of course, I didn't work on Fellowship nights!
I remember being constantly exhausted during that time. We all had lots of colds etc, and DH's health continued to deteriorate.
I made about $150 more per month than we gave in ABS. To save money, I still cooked from scratch, no fast food for us on Fellowship nights. How unnecessary all those hard times were.
I did let DH know I wanted to leave, but he thought there was nowhere else to go. Because of the ugly hits-job lay offs, health stuff, huge medical bills, we needed to be in the protection of the Household, he thought.
Our area had NO innie/outie marriages. They all ended up getting divorced,with one spouse m&a'd, and the custody battles over the kids were ugly.
Leaving would do more harm to my children than staying, I thought. Didn't want to go through that. And DH was a good man--and there was always the possibility that I was wrong about the leadership, that I was really the problem. I thought DH would eventually figure it out.
So we stayed.
Eventually, the leadership that troubled me began to harass my husband also, lots of intrusions into our lives and finances, ugly confrontations, escalating issues. . . we had finally got to the top of the To Do list, I guess.
We left, refused to go to the final confrontation, got m&a'd.
Life is so much better now! Finances are healthy--I buy new! clothes, and new! books,own a house, I work part time and am not exhausted, Dh's health has improved so much, plus he takes the time to work out 5x a week.
Still have trouble making friends--have just a couple that I really consider friends. Neither of us can join a group, not even PTO. Always feel like people want a piece of us, I guess.
For me, I think the decision to stay in and wait it out was the best I could do in those circumstances. I know how hard that is, and my heart goes out to the innies who are living through that now. Marriage and family are a huge responsibility, not one to throw away, and you can't always have things your way, imho. No easy answer to those situations, you do the best you can.
i'm so glad i'm not a part of the way anymore. i hated all the "time" i had to give and convince myself i was happy about it (endless meetings, setups, yuck). i didn't have a child while i was in. i'm REALLY thankful about that.
Hey Bramble...I'm sorry for that whole nightmare!!!! thank you for sharing it in here :)-->
You are not alone in GS...there are others who were in similar situations as you...
I, too, have much trouble joining groups. After twi I sat quietly with the Quakers at the local meetinghouse on Sunday morning...praying to myself. I sat there for 2 years...just praying...didn't know what else to do. One day, after 2 years mind you, the "greeter" at the door asked me if I would like to greet the following Sunday. I was blown away...and never went back.
Like you, I felt they wanted a piece of me...
I've been out for 17 years now and still have trouble with groups. I did join a women's group therapy twice, and was ok with that, but, that was therapeutic.
Even if you volunteer to do something, seems they always creep up on you even more.
I'm glad your out and that you have a better handle on life.Twi always stired up chaos.
As for finding friends it took me years to be able to hold a simple conversation. And you know Im pretrafied of groups too. I can tolerate an AA group but dont get me to commit to the 12 step program. No way. Anyway thanks for sharing. "It's good to be alive...without The Way"
You're right about TWI causing chaos. Life has been more peaceful in day to day living since we left. In fact, the first week after I left I felt like I could breathe again. No more in your face confrontations about anything!!
In fact, haven't been in an ugly confrontation situation since then.
And all that money we forked over for ABS, classes, tapes and magazines,goes on our family now. We have savings that is not already sent on classes or weekends. We were seriously broke most of our TWI years, once the kids arrived.
We still have the kids--and they are lots more expensive now! But it's not an issue.
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imbus
Dearest posters, Judging by the lack of responce I sence that maybe I'v been a little intrusive. For this I aplogize. I guess what I'm asking is...Since we are not greaspots and are still here,I'd like to hear some sucsess stories of "Life without The Way"in any catagory you wish to share.
I am so Thankful to my higher power that I am still alive and have tremendous possibilities. available.
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Steve!
Imbus - no, your request isn't all that intrusive.
There is a forum where many posters have contributed, "My Story", that is much more appropriate for this kind of thread.
Check that out, you'll see some pretty moving stories there.
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karmicdebt
I wanted to reply here...just can't find the words yet...fear not! at least now the thread is at the top!
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Zshot
Imbus,
All of us have had many events (good, bad and ugly)that have happened in our lives that helped shape us into what we are today.
Some people here have overcome a great deal of adversity. Some have not had the challanges that needed to be overcome.
My story is actually fairly boreing, so I will spare you...
Most of the people here are "good people" who will help with encouragement that we all need from time to time.
Most of us have figured out the we "don't have all the answers", and there is nothing wrong with that. Most of us also realize that sometimes people need help from trained professionals with some problems, and needing help is not a "charactor flaw".
Here at GS, friendships have been made. Having friends is always a good thing
:)-->
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Goey
Imbus,
Posting your story here is not intrusive at all. But, as far as responses go, you just never can tell here.
Like they say in A.A. - Keep comming back.
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simpatico
Imbus,
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us.
Everyone here adds some flavor to the soup !
I wanted to respond to you without sharing my story, But I will say that since ending
my involvement with the way. I hold the ownership of my time left on earth like a closely guarded treasure. The bliss of a Sunday morning, where I can do as I please, a lazy day, reading the Sunday Times in bed, brunch in an open air cafe
with a friend.
Just being free to be me !
:D--> That is one little tidbit of my success.
Imbus, you would surely get many more response's if you move your story to the "my story" threads.
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excathedra
imbus's story is in that section
thank you imbus for sharing. not intrusive in the least, just - oh i don't know - so honest. you are amazing. with all you've done to help people. i would find it much too stressful to work with emotionally abused kids, etc.
i'm so happy i'm not in the way anymore even though i miss some of the great friends i made.
i have zero desire to belong to a church or much of anything for that matter.
thanks again. and i'm sorry for your heartaches. so glad you're doing good now.
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Bramble
Hi Imbus,
I'm not ready to post a book about my life on the My Story thread, but I will respond here.
I'm one of those who remained in the Way long after I would have liked to leave, because my spouse wanted to stay in.(There's kind of a discussion about that on another thread.) Those three years were the most difficult of my life.
I wasn't aware of all the LCM crap going on, or about the VPW stuff, either. I just knew how miserably we(especially me!)were treated by our local leadership. I could do nothing well enough to please that man, neither could my kids(my fault, of course,) but my husband was treated well. The HFC was sly, getting in his nastiest digs when DH wasn't around.
The Way was our life. DH was one of the wows who got me in the Word, our marriage was highly encouraged by our then leadership, I knew he was good guy and would be a great husband, father, and twig coordinator--which he was. Then a lay off, hospital bills etc. Bad time--haven't had one that bad since. We were counseled to sell our house, cease being TC and move to the Big City--the limb. We did it.
Finances were actually worse--our rent was higher than our mortgage had been. I took a night job, so we didn't have to pay daycare. Of course, I didn't work on Fellowship nights!
I remember being constantly exhausted during that time. We all had lots of colds etc, and DH's health continued to deteriorate.
I made about $150 more per month than we gave in ABS. To save money, I still cooked from scratch, no fast food for us on Fellowship nights. How unnecessary all those hard times were.
I did let DH know I wanted to leave, but he thought there was nowhere else to go. Because of the ugly hits-job lay offs, health stuff, huge medical bills, we needed to be in the protection of the Household, he thought.
Our area had NO innie/outie marriages. They all ended up getting divorced,with one spouse m&a'd, and the custody battles over the kids were ugly.
Leaving would do more harm to my children than staying, I thought. Didn't want to go through that. And DH was a good man--and there was always the possibility that I was wrong about the leadership, that I was really the problem. I thought DH would eventually figure it out.
So we stayed.
Eventually, the leadership that troubled me began to harass my husband also, lots of intrusions into our lives and finances, ugly confrontations, escalating issues. . . we had finally got to the top of the To Do list, I guess.
We left, refused to go to the final confrontation, got m&a'd.
Life is so much better now! Finances are healthy--I buy new! clothes, and new! books,own a house, I work part time and am not exhausted, Dh's health has improved so much, plus he takes the time to work out 5x a week.
Still have trouble making friends--have just a couple that I really consider friends. Neither of us can join a group, not even PTO. Always feel like people want a piece of us, I guess.
For me, I think the decision to stay in and wait it out was the best I could do in those circumstances. I know how hard that is, and my heart goes out to the innies who are living through that now. Marriage and family are a huge responsibility, not one to throw away, and you can't always have things your way, imho. No easy answer to those situations, you do the best you can.
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excathedra
oh that was great bramble, thank you !!!
i'm so glad i'm not a part of the way anymore. i hated all the "time" i had to give and convince myself i was happy about it (endless meetings, setups, yuck). i didn't have a child while i was in. i'm REALLY thankful about that.
what's PTO ?
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Wacky Funster
PTO is parent teacher somethingruther...
Hey Bramble...I'm sorry for that whole nightmare!!!! thank you for sharing it in here
:)-->
You are not alone in GS...there are others who were in similar situations as you...
I, too, have much trouble joining groups. After twi I sat quietly with the Quakers at the local meetinghouse on Sunday morning...praying to myself. I sat there for 2 years...just praying...didn't know what else to do. One day, after 2 years mind you, the "greeter" at the door asked me if I would like to greet the following Sunday. I was blown away...and never went back.
Like you, I felt they wanted a piece of me...
I've been out for 17 years now and still have trouble with groups. I did join a women's group therapy twice, and was ok with that, but, that was therapeutic.
Even if you volunteer to do something, seems they always creep up on you even more.
So, I hears ya...
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simpatico
Bramble,
Great success story!
I'm so happy for you and your family.
It makes me sad to think of all the family's still involved in the way
who have the same scenario going on in their lives, even as we speak.
Hopefully , someone will read your post here and be inspired to seize
control and take back their lives; as you and yours have done.
:)--> 
:)--> 
:)-->
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frank123lol
simple story Went into the US Navy after high school met some way people walked out of twig once.
Took the class got out of service went back home
went wow was apprentice corps too much bs came
back home been here ever since
Was tc for a number of years ect ect
Then fog downhill from then
Glad to be out
People who are still in there is life out of the way God is still God
Oh the fair weather friends we had till you buck the system.
Pfft can not see em for dust
Friends I have now are not dependant on whether I like the bible or not
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excathedra
gosh frank i have friends like that too !!!!!!
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imbus
dearesr bramble
I'm glad your out and that you have a better handle on life.Twi always stired up chaos.
As for finding friends it took me years to be able to hold a simple conversation. And you know Im pretrafied of groups too. I can tolerate an AA group but dont get me to commit to the 12 step program. No way. Anyway thanks for sharing. "It's good to be alive...without The Way"
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jen-o
where is yarnell, arizona?
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jen-o
sorry...off topic
just curious.
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Bramble
I'm glad I'm out, too! What a life.
You're right about TWI causing chaos. Life has been more peaceful in day to day living since we left. In fact, the first week after I left I felt like I could breathe again. No more in your face confrontations about anything!!
In fact, haven't been in an ugly confrontation situation since then.
And all that money we forked over for ABS, classes, tapes and magazines,goes on our family now. We have savings that is not already sent on classes or weekends. We were seriously broke most of our TWI years, once the kids arrived.
We still have the kids--and they are lots more expensive now! But it's not an issue.
That was a huge stress area, now gone.
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