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That's it exactly, T-Bone. Having worked as a matrimonial lawyer for some years (not my fave bit of law) - I have to say that the no.1 reason for marriage breakdown is lack of communication between the parties. Not being able to say how you feel/think/want about something (whether nice or a potential difficulty) and/or not listening when your spouse tries to talk to you. Parties need to say honestly what they want to say and not leave it to the other person to guess/mind read/know by intuition or revelation; and the listener needs to listen and hear what's said, not just the words used. On "The Marriage Course" I think it's said that if you have a row with your spouse, do it holding hands. Reminds you that you are tied together and you need to pay attention to the other party.

Your posts made me think of an old definition that I haven’t thought of in a long time – “the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation”…besides sounding so wordy and clinical (impersonal) it revolves around the “renewed mind”. You say your marriage isn’t working? Just renew your mind... ...I think that tended to put the kibosh on communicating our true feelings and needs in an honest and respectful way…I’m no expert on relationships but I’ve found that trying to be emotionally transparent takes work and courage (especially to undo old mental habits); it does make you vulnerable – but it also promotes trust and closeness in a relationship.