I can certainly see and appreciate the parallells. The way you sound to me...the way Mike sounds to me...you guys both sound like me. Ive stumbled at wierwille's doctrines and was blinded from scripture by them. Ive been to the point that I didn't believe it anymore. I moved to Cincinnati, made an entire new set of friends and never told anyone I was involved in the way international, was way corps, I tried to hide it all and ditch it all. Ive cast all things aside having to do with scripture, cults, etc. Then I tried to drink myself to death and tried commiting suicide a dozen other ways during that time. When I was done destroying myself I turned to Christ. That I am sitting here typing to you is nothing short of a miracle. Do I expect you to change your position based on my experiences? No. Do I expect anyone to change their positions? No. Im simply sharing my life and what Im learning and if that's helpful to anyone then so be it, if not, so be it. Yes, I let mike push my buttons, what can I say Im a work in progress. But behind my profile is a guy who has been reassembled by the power of God to the extent that my uncle who has been in AA for 35 years has no frame of reference for what has occured with me and he has sponsored countless people over the years. I guess it's a bit different for me at this stage in my life after losing everything, literally, except my life. And then coming back from the brink better than I was ever in my life. Raf, my goal is not to change you or what you believe. Ive stated before that Im alright with people being where they are with things...no judgement here. Im the last to judge because I have been an absolutely horrible person, except I have ceased from all of that and am enjoying peace for the first time ever. Obviously, I want to share with others my relationship with God. But im over forcing it, or judging anyone down...all that mess. Id rather love and respect people and do whatever I can to better them and myself in the process. Myabe that means opening a door for someone at the corner store. Maybe that means carrying someone's groceries to the car. Perhaps it means giving money to homeless people...or trying to help other alcoholics. Im happy, finally happy.