prayingfordaylight

I can take language that is real, mistakes that are real, and people that are real. What I dont like are people who pretend to be something they are not, or people who are bothered by something someone says or does and cant confront them, lovingly or honestly about it. BRICK WALLS are a cowards way out. NEVER will work. Thank you, DAWN

Trust... well, that goes hand in hand with so many other things that happen to be going on in your life at the time. I think most of us have all learned the hard way about trust...in that we have all said and done things that we probably should not have, and then we sit back and go...wow, what was I thinking....???? Trust is something that belongs to one and one alone, and that would be God...whatever it is that you think he is these days. You can endeavor to trust people, but you will always be disappointed at some point by them. Dont trust me, my actions and my words will not always jive...its called being a human being. Now, if I tell you something and you immedicately go on your PM or IM and talk about me behind my back, you were never worth trusting to begin with. Doesnt make you a bad person, or me one, just that you are not probably the most trustworthy person in the whole world. No sweat off my A__. I still will listen to things you say, wont ignore you out of fear and will not ever shut up about the things that I believe in...so, I tend to agree alot with Abigale, in that it really doesnt affect my life very much, either way. WE ALL breach that trust at times, but most of us...most of us, NEVER intentionally....but more on a human level where HELL...WE AINT PERFECT, type of stuff. AGAIN...trust is probably directly coorilated to whatever you are going through in your life at the time. EXAMPLES...your husband left you...therefore, you dont trust men very easily. You were burned by The Way, so, therefore you dont trust most church groups very easily. You have self esteem issues, therefore, you dont trust that people are being honest with you when they tell you good things about yourself. You have a cheating spouse, therefore you think everyone is cheating with your spouce. You have a friend that dumped you, therefore why make any new friends... You have someone who stole from you, therefore you lock up everything you own like a drum because all people have the potential of stealing from you.... THATS what I mean by whatever is going on in your life at the time. So, trust has to be earned...but if you think people will never betray your trust...think again. THE REAL QUESTION is was it intentional....or was it not.

FUNNY THE TENT MEMORIES we must all have. My personal favorite was going to ROA and waking up every morning with all my things floating in water....and drying them all out...(YOU KNOW, even while tent camping cleanliness was next to godliness) only to wake up the next morning with it all wet again. Then as I moved up the ladder, the Corps tents were in place for all the in-residence Corps..and I think if I am not mistaken, we got cots than....yeah, cots. Then coming in from the outside, we would stay in hotels....wherever you could find them, or if you were really elite in the Way world, you got to stay on site in the dorm rooms, ect.... I remember a girl I went through the corps with, that got married to clergy..and stayed on site in the dorm area....I remember seeing her and asking her if she had any coffee creamer for my coffee...and I had to wait outside of the dorm, since I wasnt allowed in there, for her to bring it back outside to me... FUNNY the chit you remember. MY VERY BEST memory of ROA ever...and I went to alot of them, was the night I was working bless patrol and this guy walks his 10 year old son up to me to help him help his son understand being born again...well, his son did get born again that night...at 2am...and that was by far the best memory I have of being at ROA ..BY FAR...

Again, as I said earlier, she was awesome. Her lessions were actually VALUABLE ones, unlike all the others learned there...and yes, at 19 years old, I sure needed blasting... and the way she always, always loved you right, afterwards. She knew how to do that, in that she was secure in her own life.

That is the one thing that is really awesome about California...diversity. And not just diversity, but how accepting most Californians are of diversity. In the midst of all those people, all that traffic, all those beautiful places, most Californians...(most of my entire family has lived there for 30 years) are very very accepting of all of that. Rock on, dudes.

EXCELLENT POST, POND. TOTALLY agree with all of that.... If you feel you are not protected for your rights at your job, move on. I would never let someone elses issues and problems let me live in that kind of fear. They dont have that type of power over me...if I am the professional that I (YOU) claim to be. Good lession to learn...in all aspects of life. Dawn

dorthy was way cool. She pulled me aside one day, when I was doing the head table, and showed me a coffee cup that had a crack in it, and explained to me for about one hour about proper etiquette and proper handling of the guests at the head table....lol.... man, if she could see me now....its called theres the coffee...get it yourself.

ALL THE LEAVES ARE BROWN... and the sky is gray.... got down on my knees.... and I began to pray.... If I didnt tell her, I could leave today... CALIFORNIA....CALIFORNIA DREAMIN ON SUCH A WINTERS DAY................ THAN AGAIN, YOU COULD TAKE WIERWILLES STANCE.... California will fall off the face of the earth someday. GOSH, wouldnt that be like...bad...dude??

You forgot the one they always use... WATER, ICE AND STEAM or GRANDPA, DAD AND SON.

good book about HR.... "HR from the heart" (FORGET the author, but she used to be the top HR person at SW Airlines and also was the head HR person at Yahoo.com). REALLY good book about HR policy and being REAL.

HR is what it is, and yes, it depends on how it is used where a person works. The term Whistle Blowing is one that I am familiar with, in that if you are mistreated, infringed upon, abused in some way shape or form, you have a right to blow the whistle on that person, with the proper documentation. There are also rules in most states for ZERO tolerance for those types of behaviors, esp. when there is some form of high archey where you work....i.e. Lawyers and their "assistants" i.e. Doctors and the nurses. It didnt used to be that way at all, and now there are very clear laws in place about whistle blowing and zero tolerance. HR usually.......usually....has ONE specific person in place that deals with nothing but employee/employee issues. They are almost always there to solve the problems at that level and be done with it all, however you will always have one person who is probably endeavoring to do that, and than another person who wouldnt know how to do that, in spite of possibly loosing their job. The documentation that would occur would only be the first step in a process of bringing the two people together who have differences, and trying to work them out-with the management also in attendance to make sure nothing gets twisted out of place. I have found in my own experiences...(YES, being in management roles and in charge roles...) that this is the normal course of these meetings. I have also found at work, and with life in general that its almost always the person who isnt willing to get past something or change something that they did wrong that will loose in the end. It is generally the person who is willing to problem solve that comes out ahead. I am not sure that there is anything to fear or be scared about in talking about or dealing with HR issues. EVERY major corp or place of business usually has HR in place...and yes, HR IS a mixed bag, but If I worked somewhere...anywhere...where I couldnt take the proper steps in protecting my own rights as an employee, I think I would have to work elsewhere. YES...there is a chain of command so to speak....but it comes down to this....Did you try to solve the problem with the person, first? If that didnt work, did you go to your direct management and try to solve the issue? IF that STILL doesnt work, did you go to THEIR boss and try to overcome whatever obstical was there? IF NONE of that works, you document and go to HR. THEY HAVE to work on some sort of resolve with you, basically. Most people walk around in fear about going above someones head with issues. A MANAGER....probably spends 10 percent of their time dealing with scheduling and office crap, and probably the other 90 percent of their time dealing with employees that dont want to tow the line. SAD, isnt it??

VERY RIGHT ON about the documentation. Nothing happens in the real working world without that. The human resource idea is correct, in that you docoment times, dates, events...and you start a file with human resourses. No one who isnt mentally ill...lol...wishes true harm on anyone else, so, it will not help to be angry or upset...but in the professional setting you document your butt off. Once you have an adequate paper trail, with repeated documentation of your going to human resources, you will build your own case. It also will help to know the laws of your state...if it is a right to work state or not, but in the end, the fact that you have a very accurate paper trail will highly be in your favor. No one truly enjoys doing this, but if the work in your place of business is not being done, you have to be able to seperate yourself from the emotional side of it and just focus on the facts. Some people are much better at this than others, and it may not be in your personality to do this, but I recommend that you do. If other people have simular dealings, they should also. Than it doesnt become he said, she said and usually if OTHER people see it also, you have a multitude of counselors, so to speak. If other people DONT see what you do, re-evaluate your own perceptions and pray in that vein about it all. I wish you well....

CONSIDERING... that I am somewhat new to this venue, is this roast for anyone who would like to go? Or is there like a select group of people that just go every year...sort of like The Rock of Ages or Corps week? Is it a time for all people who go to let their differences in here fall away, or it it one of those things....like...oh my god....so and so is coming, and not sure I want to go anymore? JUST curious....

Interesting questions that pop up in here.... WELL, married to a Way Man and Marine for 15 years (YES, you can only imagine) remarried the first guy that came my way....three years later and getting divorced after only one long year of marriage... so, DOES THAT COUNT? P.S. Sometimes bad things happen to good people....and sometimes bad people happen to good things...

did miller, are you quoting me... ahhh...how sweet. How have you been? I have been taking care of me... love and tomatos to you... Dawn

My motives to be here are new, all over again. My original motive to be here was reaching out for friendship, and to try to heal from a broken marriage. I was already way over the way stuff...and realized how many people were not by coming here. So in that, I exposed myself..the good, the bad and the ugly...and realized that we are all just people...all trying to cope with whatever hand we have been currently dealt with, and that naturally some people are much more suspicious and hurt than others. I have tried to be a source of healing toward that, although my own hurts were different, and there have been several people in here that have helped me through mine. My motives now are different...they are to show the more HEALED me in action, and to be able to connect with people who can see the light. I am not perfect...and neither are they, but hey, its still one body and we are still commanded to love one another and to forgive one another, and move onward. I am enjoying reading your posts, am thinking about a few that I want to post myself, and have actually made a couple of really good friends in here. Beyond that, ROCK ON GREASESPOTTERS... I have a whole new opinion of this site, as of late.

I could need and feed him, He is awedome.

THAT IS TOO FUNNY! The first time I ever bought tomato plants I bought exactly 39 plants, lovingly put them in the ground, put root starter in them, watered them as needed... I had a picnic table in my back yard by the garden, and when those suckers started coming up, I had so many damned tomato's that they would cover this picnic table FULL every time I went outside to pick them. My friends and family were BEGGING me to please not try to give them any more tomato's. I was trying to give them away to strangers on the street. (I later had the bright idea to make tomato juice or stewed tomato's)... MORAL OF THE STORY? YOU WILL REAP...WHAT YOU SOW. OR FOR ALL YOU NON BIBLICAL FANS... YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU GIVE OR FOR ALL OF YOU AGNOSTICS... DAMN....THATS A LOAD FULL OF TOMATO'S. GOOD LUCK, COWGIRL....

krysilis- Thank you, it comes from living and learning about life and about people. Cyniic- do you hire out your services?? JUST KIDDING...(no IM NOT..yes I am, no Im not, yes I am) Okay, enough of that!

Could it be that he also has a right to protecting his own identity, since he doesnt really know you all that well either? Just a thought, not sure if it's right or wrong. There is actually a whole chapter in Dr. Phil's love smart book about internet dating..and of course that is just his take on it, and his side of a story, but it's actually pretty good. It's called "Fishing with a Net". In that I have done some internet dating, and have actually met some of the people, the best advice is to forward his profile and whatever you do know to a friend, and get their take on it. It is sometimes very helpful to be able to do that, just to have a second opinion about the guy. In here, you will get many, including mine, and you dont even know me..I have struck out for the most part, but one of the biggest lessions that I am learning for myself is to not get too wrapped up in it all, or too obseessive about it, which is where I have failed in my recent past. Its harder with these types of deals, but ultimately there will be some degree of trust that is either built or it's not. I JUST got an email from someone who wants to meet me tommorrow night for coffee, and says he will pick me up...well, the answer to that is HELL no, I will meet you somewhere, give your profile to a friend, give your cell phone number to a friend, tell the friend what restaurant I will be at, have the friend call me somewhere in the middle of it to make sure that I am not in a ditch somewhere, and I will call the friend on my way home from the date. Its just a avenue to meet people, thats all, and usually after one meeting you know pretty fast whether or not its pursuable, just as if you met someone on the street somewhere, or through a friend. No difference in my mind, and IF I pick a well lit place and make sure he leaves before or after me, those are a ton of precautions. I dont know how far this guy is from you, but just keep asking a lot of questions, and you will find out what he's really all about in a matter of time. In here, you can be anyone....and give people the perception that you are something you are not, that is true...so, be careful...but don't let it stop you from living your life.

INDEED...

ha! There is never a true question in here, only lots of PERCEPTIONS. OH, MY MISTAKE... IT WAS... WHAT MAKES SOMEONE SEXY? (I think).

VERY nice story. UPLIFTING to say the least.

Match.com..yeah, I am a member but have found that even when being honest with people about your situations, the best way is probably to just relax, be sure that you ARE over your past, learn how to not trust everyone out there, and keep trying (HOWEVER much you fall short) to be honest. (Does that mean I need to not worry about my ex husband anymore...lol....YEP). My ex and I have been seperated for 8 months, and we just spoke about divorce filings...and I told him I was on Match.com...listed as seperated. He thought it was great, if it worked out for me I had his blessings...and although I dont need his approval, I do still think its a great venue for meeting people..if done carefully, and if you have someone that you can trust to forward their information to. I told my ex that it was probably better for me to be doing that instead of following him around, wondering what he is doing. HE AGREED... So, as I proceed with it, I will let you know in this post about some of my adventures. Life always has interesting twists and turns, especially on this front. Have a great day! Dawn

COUNT ME IN. Since I live here already, I wont be needing a place to stay. I am very much looking forward to it. Who all is coming?? Dawn