Steve!

You are right, it is too big. The fact that it's animated might not make a difference. I'll let you know.

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border San Antonio, Texas (Rooters) Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing the entire rampage off as a marketing expense. "They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-booked the revenues," said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso. "Right in front of my daughters." Calling themselves the CEOnistas, the chief executives were first spotted last night along the Rio Grande River near Quemado, where they bought each of the town's 32 residents by borrowing against pension fund gains. By late this morning, the CEOnistas had arbitrarily inflated Quemado's population to 960, and declared a 200 percent profit for the fiscal second quarter. This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its underperforming areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5 billion. Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably frustrated. "First of all, they're very hard to find because they always stand behind their numbers, and the numbers keep shifting," said posse spokesman Dean Levitt. "And every time we yell 'Stop in the name of the shareholders!', they refer us to investor relations. I've been on the phone all damn morning." "YOU'LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!" The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common executive weakness. "Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our female officers as a CNBC anchor," said U.S. Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis. "It was like moths to a flame." Also, teams of agents have been using high-powered listening devices to scan the plains for telltale sounds of the CEOnistas. "Most of the time we just hear leaves rustling or cattle flicking their tails," said Lewis, "but occasionally we'll pick up someone saying, 'I was totally out of the loop on that.'" So far, about 50 chief executives have been captured, including Martha Stewart, who was detained south of El Paso where she had cut through a barbed-wire fence at the Zaragosa border crossing off Highway 375. "She would have gotten away, but she was stopping motorists to ask for marzipan and food coloring so she could make edible snowman place settings, using the cut pieces of wire for the arms," said Border Patrol officer Jennette Cushing. "We put her in cell No. 7, because the morning sun really adds texture to the stucco walls." While some stragglers are believed to have successfully crossed into Mexico, Cushing said the bulk of the CEOnistas have holed themselves up at the Alamo. "No, not the fort, the car rental place at the airport," she said. "They're rotating all the tires on the minivans and accounting for each change as a sale."

Finz - What avatar do you want to use? I can help you get it working, I just need more info.

Well, now the church in Mexico needs a new bell ringer. And the armless boy's twin brother, who is also armless, applies for the job. The priest hires him with misgivings, remembering the previous incident. This boy rings the bell with his head BONNNGGGGG! BONNNGGGGG! *miss!* SPLAAATTT! The townspeople again, "Who is this boy?" One person says, "I think he's the other boy's twin". The townspeople say, "How do you know?" "Well, I don't know for sure, but he's a dead ringer!"

Dot, you are a wonderful person. But this is a hoax. It's not even that good of a cookie recipe.

I do indeed have a meteorite. I think I'll just give it to a nephew of mine that has a rock collection. Thank you, Zix, I knew that you would be the right person to ask.

Oh, he wasn't mean to me. But he did tend to yell at new people, when they were uncertain about whether or not to believe in the trinity. And he was condescending and patronizing to me. Nothing irks me more than being condescended to. But he was fairly okay, otherwise. You've got to remember him - tall skinny blond guy, mustache, glasses, his nickname was Noses.

Why, yes, indeed, it does. If it is truly uranium. I'm not sure what you should do with it, or where you should take it. But radiation has a cumulative negative effect, if the source of the radiation is not removed. Since you probably have it on display or in a closet, it's effects are lessened. You'd have to be within a few feet of it for hours at a time for the radiation to cause problems. But I'd get rid of it if I were you, even though it's probably a fairly low-grade rock.

Yo, Zix, I found what I think is a meteorite, in my backyard. How can I tell for sure? It's about the size of a peanut, and it's all charred and pitted.

What made my day memorable was all of you folks that wished me a happy birthday! Thank you, one and all.

green? I thought it was turd brown

yo momma is so fat, her shoe size is "Vermont" yo momma is such a ho, she'll give you change back from a dolla yo momma is such a ho, Jerry Springer say "Damn!" yo momma is such a ho, they named a disease after her! yo momma is such a ho, when you talk to her, your voice echoes. yo momma is such a ho, when she has an orgasm, it measures 5.6 on the Richter scale

yo momma is so fat, even Mick Jagger says, "Damn, she got big lips!" yo momma is so ugly, even Mick Jagger's mirror won't reflect her yo momma is so ugly, even blind people say "Damn!" da reason yo momma is so smelly is so blind people can hate her too! yo momma is so smelly, she not allowed at the city dump because she stink up the place yo momma is so fat, she gotta wear packing crates for shoes yo momma is so fat, she use a hula-hoop for a belt

shaz, no one ripped off your name What happens is: this virus "spoofs" a "from" email address from the address book of the host computer. In other words, someone that has you in his/her address list has the virus, which sent out emails with your e-addy as the "from".

I wasn't 11th corpse, but I play one on TV. My WOW group (I will never call it a family again!) leader (I say leader instead of coordinator cuz I know it probably rankles those with waybrain) Let me start over: my wow group leader was 11th corpse, Dave O.

Hey, that's really funny! Mind if I steal it?

BetterOff, you said that you were mentioned on that SNS tape - was it by name? If so, that can be used as evidence. Regarding loyboy, let's say about him what he's said many hundreds of times: He doesn't think, he only thinks that he thinks. He doesn't have a head, his neck's just blowing bubbles.

Would I be considered insensitive if I asked: BetterOff, Did you do something to make them single you out? What I mean is, did you reject someone's advances? Or was it completely out of the blue?

yo mama so stupid she failed her blood test yo mama so fat she looks at a menu and says "Okay!" yo mama so ugly, she stuck her head out a car window and was arrested for mooning! yo mama so ugly, trick or treaters give HER candy

Looks like we skeered everyone off, hahaha

yo mama so poor she had to put a mcdonald's milkshake on layaway yo mama so poor she can't afford to change her mind

T H E "F" - W O R D S T Y L E G U I D E Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f**k". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language,"f**k falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John f**ked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was f**ked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a f**k), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a f**k), an adverb (Mary is f**king interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific f**k). It can also be used as an adjective(Mary is f**king beautiful) or an interjection (F**k! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, f**k she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "f**k". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations: 1. Greetings "How the f**k are ya?" 2. Fraud "I got f**ked by the car dealer." 3. Resignation "Oh, f**k it!" 4. Trouble "I guess I'm f**ked now." 5. Aggression ".... YOU!" 6. Disgust "F**k me." 7. Confusion "What the f**k.......?" 8. Difficulty "I don't understand this f**king business!" 9. Despair "F**ked again..." 10. Pleasure "I f**king couldn't be happier." 11. Displeasure "What the f**k is going on here?" 12. Lost "Where the f**k are we." 13. Disbelief "UN....INGBELIEVABLE!" 14. Retaliation "Up your f**king foot!" 15. Denial "I didn't f**king do it." 16. Perplexity "I know f**k all about it." 17. Apathy "Who really gives a f**k, anyhow?" 18. Greetings "How the f**k are ya?" 19. Suspicion "Who the f**k are you?" 20. Panic "Let's get the f**k out of here." 21. Directions "F**k off." 22. Disbelief "How the f**k did you do that?" It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a f**king ....." It can be used to tell time- "It's five f**king thirty." It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this f**king job?" It can be maternal- "Motherf**ker." It can be political- "F**k Dan Quayle!" It has also been used by many notable people throughout history: "What the f**k was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima "Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" General Custer "Where the f**k is all this water coming from?" Captain of the Titanic "That's not a real f**king gun." John Lennon "Who's gonna f**king find out?" Richard Nixon "I did *NOT* f**k her!" Bill Clinton "Heads are going to f**king roll." Anne Boleyn "It's someone's 100th f**king birthday today!" Willard Scott "Any f**king idiot could understand that." Albert Einstein "It does so f**king look like her!" Picasso "How the f**k did you work that out?" Pythagoras "You want what on the f**king ceiling?" Michaelangelo "You say they're free?? F**k yeah... let me have ten of them!" Moses "F**k a duck." Walt Disney "Why?- Because its f**king there!" Edmund Hilary "I don't suppose its gonna f**king rain?" Joan of Arc "She wants how much f**king money?!?!?" Donald Trump "Look! Almost every f**king kernel popped!" Orville Reddenbacher "We'll f**king smoke those f**kers out of their f**king caves!" George W. Bush

yo mama so ugly, her nickname is "damn!"

Well, I always say, if you're going to plagiarize, plagiarize something really obscure so that no one recognizes it and thus won't be able to accuse you. Long live THE!

Oh, UNPARENTS day. Nebbermine. Sorry bout that.