Juan Cruz

Dear Kris, Your terrific book arrived from Amazon yesterday. I started it around 11:40pm and finished, I don't know, sometime around 4am. It sure stirred up a lot. I am so sorry that you suffered so much. It's a great gift that you wrote this compelling story. I don't think much about TWI anymore. After all, I left in 1978 or so. I never did much after undergrad College WOW days at ....... A tragic death (VC) and TWI's terrible handling of it was the beginning of the end for me. .....read and prayed like crazy, got counseling, worked at a church, and left for .... Seminary in '83. I spent a year or two here on Greasespot to my great benefit If you are ever in the NYC area, wife .... and I would love to treat you to lunch or dinner. She's asked to read your book as soon as I'm done. Your epilogue makes me consider looking into doing some exit counseling. I got my Masters in Pastoral Counseling from .... in 1983. I haven't done any professional counseling. I've also considered volunteering for such work with vets of Iraq/Afganistan. Thank you for your valuable, valuable memoir. Peace, Juan

My secretary is a devout Catholic. She told me today that she is giving up "red wine" for Lent. I fasted against the war in December - two weeks on 8 oz a day of tofu (with marinara sauce). I might do something like that again (first one didn't work - war still on) but have had too many work/social engagements this week involving meals. excuses, excuses right? I'm already partially vegetarian - tho I do eat fish. Peace, Chris

Out There, roflm proktos o!

T-Bone, Thanks for the reply and quote. That man could write. Legend has it that Metzger knew the Koine Greek word for "Squirrel." He taught a class on Revelations and I think it may have been filmed. I would think that sincere students of scripture would be fascinated. Actually, Kerygma.com has excellent study materials for a 5-7 session course on Revelations as well. Why not get off the "Adminstrations' boon-doggle and start to understand what 'John the Revelator' was really about? He was a poet par excellence.

Hi Shaz, How nice to hear from one of my favorite people in the world. I think of you whenever I see family members playing a certain game. The most accepted interpretation of ELi Eli is that it's a human cry of genuine dereliction (no sin in that) and that the author expects the reader to recall the entire psalm (22) with its conclusory affirmation of GOd's presence and promised deliverance. [if people could just read John Dominic Crossen or Marcus Borg with an open mind we wouldn't have some of these issues.] In multiple places where Jesus is quoted as using Hebrew scripture it seems as though the unquoted context is important; not by intentional omission but perhaps by intended extension and inclusion... as though the quote were shorthand for an entire source pericope. I haven't worked the gospels in a while - been studying the Hebrew scriptures - esp. Robert Alter's seminal translation/commentary, The Five Books of Moses. My Bible Study class this winter seem very satisfied and happy to go verse by verse through the Deuteronomic Histories. I tell them, "Ya know some of these stores are pretty obscure. Don't cha just wanna go over the highlights?" "NO" Oh, I can still hear Victor Paul sometimes in some of the stories "'What meaneth this bleating of sheep in mine years?' Aw pepul isn't that just great?" I think I can hear him giggling as he teaches this wierd story. He never even raises the question of whether God would actually order a slaughter including women and children... typical fundamentalist ingnorance... I mean US - not him! He, at least, was making money (as well as sexually exploiting members of his flock).

from The New York Times, Feb. 16, 2007 http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/16/obituaries/16metzger.htmlI lived next door to a dear friend of Dr. Metzger's for a couple of years. I attended many cocktail parties with him and his wife present. I asked him once about George Lamsa and his Aramaic work. He was uncharacteristically dismissive. I asked him about Lamsa's translation of "Eli, Eli, " the cry of dereliction. He said it was 'crazy.' I talked to another famous Princeton scholar yesterday, Karlfried Froehlich, a colleague and close friend of Dr. Metzger. He said, "Bruce was the only one I've ever known who could be said to have had a perfect memory." JC

“Joey’s Joy” Baby Joey’s joy When let down to wander the coffee shop or barber shop to wave at sunlit floating mites and motes in the parlor to lie in fields and count cricket beats Joy When his mother’s blue eyes Meet his own in silence When animal crackers were dug out of a lion’s cage Joy when the Rock calls his name. [Jan. 2007]

======================================== "Bed and Board" To my wife on our 7th anniversary A home, a house, a wife, a life, A sundress, a yellow house, a photo A man in a van remembering joy, A wrong road, a right road. A call to go with me. A call to stay with you. The bells, the hills, the life. The streets, the snows, the hills. A church, a task, a balance to keep. A partner in struggle, a partner in life. The lawn, the park, the fountain. Neighbors and friends, bonfires and pools. The move, the van, the dishes and attic. New cargoes of life, Meagan and Eric, The birth, the smiles, the pain, the pride Nurses and doctors, shots and worries. The crib, the camera, the bottles, the breast. Live incarnate, life abundant, Peace and joy, love and tears. Children, sleds, swings and monkey bars. Nothing is easy, little is ease. Newness and joy, sorrow and anger, Depression and slipping, climbing and dipping. Reach for the peaks, picking the clover, Flying in freedom, Hair all over. Problems like Maria, Resenting like Moses. Runny noses and tingling toeses. Seven is perfect, not itchy Seven can take you an awful long way. So lay in a store of extra virtue. Pack in a trunk-full of pride that can’t hurt you. Sing to the Lord, Sing with the choir, Tune your face upward, To catch the next ride. For it’s off to infinity, It’s life here to borrow. You’re just the right age, So let’s do it tomorrow!

======================================= Super 8 Memento At thirteen your long arms and legs Shoveled the sands behind You As you gamboled up the steep sand dune. Your father’s home movie shows Four sisters and your step-mom Ascending slowly, though not for effort. Why non Parnassus? Non whoopee summitus? Did sand jam the camera? Perhaps your Dad wearied of too many starlets. Dancing, laughing, whirling, You dared Olympus to throw you down. Now, proportioned and perfected, You return your own wide grin and prophesy, “Look, there’s your Mommy Clowning and climbing for my father, Whom we’ll meet again on our way down!”

======================================== Oh...such memories... Let me witness to you. hormones and scripture. innocence and experience collaterals and damage Greek and double-speak Devils and humans; who were worse, the imaginary or the hypocrite? Which was which? Each according to its kind. But oh Twiggy, let's go witness tonight. Oh, Twiggy, let's not witness the truth tonight. Oh Twiggy, let's witness together tonight. Witness Twiggy tonight. Witness Twiggy Tonight. =================================== Honey, Lick the Amber Honey, lick the amber from the bark, that ‘thou mayest steady thy fast surely.’ For when a finch lit upon a house sale sign I, confused, thought it was Wisdom, the she-mason of the cosmos waiting for the obscure and silent night of San Juan. Let us not furrow four brows, Nor untuck both our hankers, A jungle beast is Merlin outside his right mind, following me since I ruled over sand lots. Nebuchadnezzar ate the kine’s grass. Such kingly kine am I. The queen's fish supper may tarry. All the king's pisces are outside looking in.

Lord of the TWI Flies They better not mess with me. I got curses they haven't even found in their "Advanced" class! I got curses they don't know about. I got curses where they got "positive believing." I got curses where they're out roasting wieners by the campfire. I got curses even Rhoda never heard. I got curses you can't put on tape and sell. I got co-lateral curses. I got curses Bullinger couldn't find in the stars. I got curses for them if they mess with me. I've learned the real Word of God and from it I got curses for people who f with the truth. It's just grace (I happen to have a red light from Daddy right now) that I don't unload on the whole pack of them hyenas. But the forbearance of Daddy might not last forever, OK? I got curses I took from the carburetor of the motor coach. I got curses I stole from Chris Geer’s running shoes. I got improper puja the family pundit put on Pillai’s sleeping bag outside his door when he got home from Mar‘s Hill. I got curses worse than living downwind in Emporia. ... ones Ted would never sing about. ... Life Magazine won’t write about. ... Mick Jagger won’t think about. (I got curses you can’t get at the racetrack.) Tree parts snap off and fall when my breath blows cold on them. How long, O Lord, wilt Thou keep sealed this apocalyptic pneumatic pestilence? They won’t be safe at Dunkin’ Donuts when Senora Cruz’s little boy gets the green light to do his deuteronomic paso doble. ============================================= "Curses Part 2" I got roadside curses I got shaggy dog curses I got curses... you'll need Preparation capital f-ing H. You'll need a new hat. My malevolence is low PH and the cookie jar is cracked. Don't question who MY Daddy is. Thou hast not known Him at all. Thou hast not been salted nor swaddled at all, thou bald man! thou bald man! Oh, you're just lucky I'm smiling. Pray that it stays that Way. ========================================== “After the Church Wedding” Something old and cold poured down the ice swan’s throat on the sultry veranda into a fine glass with olive Something new abrew in the garden with lesbian photographers from Queens Something borrowed from a sonnet made father fear and tremble and think he might go back to church. Something blue between us two left alone at the table. “Our minister didn’t care to visit but Father Larry made it sound like he’d known him all his life” ============================================== In a message dated 2/3/2005 11:08:23 PM Eastern Standard Time, AW writes: What do you really think happens to people when they die? Dear A..., I think the conclusion and beyond are even more absurdly gracious than the process of getting there. Our mental and intellectual doubts that anything happens do not change the reality, or much sway our natural belief, that absurd graciousness continues. I've been wondering if we believe that heaven is full God's glory to the extent that we perceive God's glory on earth. This of course, means a great degree of pleasant surprise at the pearly gates... for all except Monet, Picasso, Bach, Mozart, Rilke, and a few others. But even they are surprised. This answer feels penultimate, I hope to pen the ultimate to you as soon as possible, in sharing our hope and plight, if not in words. Thanks for asking. Peace, Juan =========================================== "Looking It Up in the Original" I was remembering blessed babe-a-lish-ous Word-worshipping-women with whom I concor-danced around the living room Friday nights seven-thirty to nine o'clock and, praise Allah, ever so miraculously... (like the sun standing still!) around the rooftop, the shore, the dorm room, the park, and a grassy meadow beneath the shooting stars ever young, ever strong, ever, then never, crude ends. ======================================== To a girl I never danced with... I like to have the sunshine soul of a smart woman before me as I prepare for words - thanks be to God for you. Take twiggy, she's yours My concordancing days may be over but... Wyeth had his Helga.

“William and Mary” The library in this unwashed town had an exhibit of little booklets in the pouches of a pall-like memorial clothe. These Baedekers of a vulnerable sort; had been laid out on a table, to this end -- that I might show them to a native. One was a booklet of Mary Oliver’s poems. I opined Mary with biographical, geographical enthusiasm and pride. Mary had used a fountain pen and water colored each page Here, Blakean sheep in ink, a wet-on-wet bucolic banner of Sunday School hillsides. The last two words of each line of the couplet were indecipherable. Though I ciphered the opus’ Ur, mystically married, ovarian and pastoral. With sweet ignorance, my philistine hostess cracked an egg into a sizzling pan, that I might finish my reading. I awoke laughing.

I got this email this morning and just had to share it with some of the most beautiful people on earth. "Breakfast at McDonald's" I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, "Smile." The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally. Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling". His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around t he corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you." I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope." I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope." We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. Moral: -If you have nice blue eyes you can get free scrambled eggs and pancakes for yourself and a friend. -If you have nice blue eyes and take a shower you might a get a hug -If you are a supercilious, self-righteous person you can get affirmation of your greatness for less than $10.00. -most people can be counted to be nice at least once a semester if they get college credit for it -McDonalds has apparently started serving cake. Pass this on to: 1-5 people and you'll be blessed 6-10 people and you'll be canonized 11-15 people and I can pretty much guarantee you're neurotic

Jim, thanks for replying... and forgive my ignorance...but.... so, OK, the software is free... but does Limewire provide (not only the software means to do it but also) a 'permit' so-to-speak, to legally download music without infringing on copyrights?

nobody knows?

I downloaded the software. So, now, where's the membership offers? I can't download for free can I? I mean I know I CAN (and that everyone does). But I thought there were 'lifetime membership' deals to download as much music as I wanted legally. No sign of fees! Wa's up? Inquiring minds want to know.

I don't know how "regular" my church is.... (!) but they're pulling out all the stops to raise and send cash for Katrina relief... - goal = 5-10 thousand dollars my denomination: http://www.pcusa.org/ Multiple Presbys signed the Declaration of Independence including a Rev. - one of our Revs was the first white guy arrested in the Civil Rights movement. We've ordained women for over 70 years. We're (relatively) safe (and MUCH safer) from exploitation, incompetence, haughtyness, abuse, money grubbing, bad attitude, family splitting, pride, idolatry, capricious whimful leaders.... etc. Bless, JC

me and ABS: As a 16 year old I sold a 10 speed Continental Schwinn, pretty new, that I LOVED and a Snipe sailboat that I had spent many hours rehabilitating for seaworthiness so that I could attend the Advanced CLass [My church now doesn't ask these things - trip outs!] Gee, I'm glad I did so that I could get that cool green syllabus and to receive so much wisdom -to discern the real from the counterfeit -discerning of spirits -miracles -healings and such The whole New Knoxville aura was a blessing Table manners, MOG worship, Sleepless nights analyzing the diff uses of Heteros and allos. Dr. W. cast some spirits out of me (in front of everybody in a very showy way - "I tol' ya Satan would attack again during this class!") I had fainted in the BRC ((- in retrospect it mayhave had something to do with listening to the Philippine-Tony-What's-His-name-Pscyhic-healer-popping-zits-off-a-heart-he-had-just- pulled-out-of-a-chest-cavity-with-just-his-finger-as-scapel cassette - you think? )) It's all (hysteria) glory! (Rufus Mosley: right foot... left foot....right foot... left foot....right foot... left foot....Glory...Hallelujah...Glory...Hallelujah...GLory...Hallelujah...Glory...H allelujah... ) I heard later that some leader went to the track with my ABS. If my minister did that... sayonara! Is this off topic? well, ok. "God bless, I love you, You're the best (suckers and sex partners I could find)."

These few posts alone should be enough to make any intellegent, thinking, caring, half-spiritual participant in Way Ministries sit down, pray and begin the difficult process of finding the exit door. Re: TWI attitudes and behaviors surrounding loss ... As I said before, it's HERE that TWI shows it's inadequacy as a servant ministry of God. It's like an ultraviolet light in a lab revealing someting the unaided eye may not be able to see. Don't wait for your loved one's death. Or your own (for YOUR loved one's sake!) Get to a place where you (they) will have the resources, the strength, the comfort, the fellowship, the competent pastoral care you (they) deserve. And even if you feel you (they) don't deserve better - hey, grace happens, thank God! Don't refuse grace - it's a sin.

TWI shows its spiritual bankruptcy exactly here. It was while standing outside the borrowed church after a TWI memorial service that I realized on a deep level that TWI was an inadequate body for my Christan life with God. Rigid, know-it-all, doctrinaire systems like TWI's cannot flex and bend with life's deeper more difficult issues (mental illness is another one). You get a tremendous sense of well-being on a superficial level - but how many Wayites survive tragedies with their 'positive believing' intact? I saw very few - though I did see victims shook to their very core (beneath the veneer). Life hands out tragedies - you can 'believe' to avoid them in an organization that can't handle them. Or you can accept them as mostly unavoidable and develop real, meaningful, genuinely spiritual, mature and lasting ways to righteously cope with them by God's help.

George, Well.... what it lacks in poetry it makes up for -in cool acronymns -AND my healthy dose of Schadenfreude now back to the very important topic of this thread - which, I think, you have already nailed down, cleverly, logically, fairly poetically. All the best, JC

Aw, George, won't cha just wax poetic about this for a moment or two? I would love to hear the story. Did you think it was something else? What did you think it was? Remember, poetic (or not... as you wish). Let me start you off... I stuck my hand in a bucket of 500 degree asphalt... [Ok, you take it from there, Buddy...]

johniam, What's "STL?"

I think Kevlar's got the key. The lack of accountablility means that TWI will always be a dangerous organization ..for anyone. Who's exercising oversight of ordained clergy?!? -basically untrained clergy at that! But even if they were decently prepared to exercise their duties... the lack of accountability and oversight must give every member, non-member, seeker pause. Do you want to take this kind of chance? Do you want your children exposed to these dangers? Where are the sexual harassement policies (and training re: such) required in every respectable Christian organization these days? To not have such is gross negligence for any organization that has volunteers working with children. One can almost prophesize a sad day in court for TWI because of its studied, purposeful negligence. Not that I grieve for TWI, it's the child (children) I grieve for. We already know TWI could not avoid or stop serial abuse of young women by its founder. What structural safeguards were put in place after this tragedy was brought to light?! - NONE! Even if I agreed with their hackneyed version of an impossible, inerrant view of scripture... for these organizational failings, I'd stay miles and miles and miles away. If you must... (I do) go to a real church -they don't claim to have all the answers - and for that reason are right.. and safe.