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Name that TV Show

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Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Dragnet

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Absolutely!

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I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle.

And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?

That was with all due respect?

Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me.

I'm sure she's quite stupid, and in time, gravity will get her.

Uh, let the record reflect that the deponent is a fat, arrogant, overweight, bald pig.

Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemlines. If things don't change, I am bound to be arrested.

A penis is not a share toy.

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"Boston Legal"?

No, but both shows have the same creator, writer, producer (all the same person).

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Here's some more:

When guys are persistent, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.

Are you always such a bitchy little thing?

Bitchy?

Coming in here, insulting the Talmud, insulting me!

What kind of rabbi calls somebody bitchy?

I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Cause I'm bitchy? God has no love for the bitchy?

Get out.

Well, by all means let's hear your opinion, Richard.

Simple. Men and women. Friction.

That's it? Friction?

Friction, friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism. Are we going to dance or not?

She told her that you told her about what she told you. I'm in the middle and clueless. I feel like Elaine.

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Running through David Kelley shows... I doubt it's "The Practice," so I'll guess

"Ally McBeal"?

George

Ally McBeal it is!

Your turn, GSG.

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"Oh my Gawd! Here it is Christmas Eve, and I'm gonna get shot dead in a moose suit!"

"I want you to know that what you did tonight frightens me."

"I understand."

"Do you?"

"This is the kind of crime that tears the city apart. It brings out what's savage in thousands of people. It has to be dealt with very quickly."

"So the book goes out the window?"

"I went by the book. I pushed a little hard at the bindings."

"This means that there is to be no smoking within the building. Violation will result in penalties."

"Gee, I hope dad doesn't find out. I might not get the car this weekend."

George

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"Be careful out there." :)

New Show:

Man, it's so hot you could fry an egg on my face.

Hope I never get that hungry.

It's like taking nose candy off a baby.

In this life the low road sometimes takes you a more interesting route.

To what do I owe this pleasure?

I wanted to see how you chill out after a rape.

I don't believe you for a New York minute.

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Here's more:

How do you go from this tranquility to that violence?

I usually take the Ferrari.

All I know about you is that you drive a Testarossa and you live on a boat.

First a junkie, now a hooker. I think I've been in the business too long, I'm starting to fall for the players.

Man, I can dig tropical, but this is out of bounds.

Do you think this makes us even?

No, not at all. Is was just the best I had to offer.

Aw, the hell with it. You want to be dead? Bang, you're dead.

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Miami Vice?

That's it!

And for those of you who want to indulge in a little nostalgia,

Here's the link to the opening credits:

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Here's some more nostalgia from a great episode the show, how bout this song:

"It's the lure of easy money, it's got a very strong appeal

You'd understand it better standing in my shoes

It's the ultimate enticement, it's the smugglers' blues"

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All freshmen are required to take a humanities course.

What's so bad about that?

Well the choices are absurd. Listen to this one, Humanities 1. Man, society, civilization, and the universe. How am I supposed to relate to this stuff?

Just don't talk in class, and they'll think you're one of them.

I'm in college to learn about money, not people.

There's more to life than just getting rich. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.

People who have money don't need people.

------

I know, every cloud has a silver lining.

No, silver's down this week. Say every cloud has a zinc lining.

------

All right Andrew you're really coming along with your reading, I'm very proud of you.

Thanks, I owe it all to you.

Well, let's not get mushy, okay what is this word right here? (Pointing to book)

Impeach….

You know sometimes I think we're too harsh on him, he's not just a callous arch conservative republican, sometimes he can be a warm, loving son and brother.

Okay now read this one with me okay?

I-am-not-a-crook.

Hey, hey, hey. Whatever happened to books like uh the little engine that could or the cat and the hat or the grinch that stole Christmas? This, this-

Come on dad this is real reading, besides those other books they scare kids. Give 'em nightmares. I mean what's scarier the, the grinch or uh or, or, or little pop-up Richard Nixon?

It's hard to say they look so much alike

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"For a job like getting rid of the drug dealer next door, I'll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape; duct tape makes you smart."

George

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