My husband's boss lies all the time about how much over time he worked on the weekends and where he is going during the work day. They work for a communications company which requires them to go to different job sites at times and repair radio and television equipment.
One day, hubby's boss made a huge deal about having to go to a job site which is 3 hours away. This meant he wouldn't be around the whole day. My hubby was in another town about an hour away doing some work and spots his boss driving on the same road! He calls his boss on his cell and asks him how it's going. The whole time he is talking about what a biyatch things were to fix and how he was still coming down the mountain. Right when they were both getting ready to come to the same stop light, hubby asks him if he plans on stopping at Inn and Out on the corner for lunch. The boss looks over and says I gotta go.
CAUGHT!!!
This happens all the time. The boss will say he can't go certain places because he is already at a job site. Hubby drives by his house and sees him at home. The owner of the company is a complete idiot and lets him get away with it all. Shameful IMHO.
this same boss has shrapnel in his shoulder from a war
he's been a cop
never mind a jeweler
many other things
i think he was in the priesthood for a while
trying to remember it all
Reminds me of Frank Abagnale... the subject of DiCaprio's movie, Catch Me If You Can. Which was on TV last night. I had already seen it... good movie despite the subject matter.
it's actually stranger than that I think. they believe they can persuade you to see things their way.
frighteningly enough, they often can. domestic abuse is often reinforced with verbal bullying to remember things a certain way. victims aren't given much consideration because they seem confused and inconsistent.
I can testify from bitter experience that it's because they are confused and reality is inconsistent. a mere suggestion makes you doubt your version of events after a while.
I don't feel alone any more... it's strange that when you talk about stuff like this to most people, if they haven't met someone like this, they sincerely can't believe you're telling the truth!
Reminds me of Frank Abagnale... the subject of DiCaprio's movie, Catch Me If You Can. Which was on TV last night. I had already seen it... good movie despite the subject matter.
that was an excellent movie. apparently it wasn't completely true, but what they did write gave some interesting insight in to pathological behavior. the dad scamming and blaming sort of taught the kid that this was how you get out of uncomfortable situations, then a personal crisis and BOOM! a pathological felon is born.
Memory saves you. I remember almost every single thing people tell me about themselves. It helped me a lot when I was internet dating. If something didn't line up, I asked more questions. If I felt I was being BSed, then I kicked them to the curb.
If it’s the case that Eskimos have some 22 words for “snow” because
they are so immersed in the white stuff, WHAT DOES THIS BLIZZARD OF
A LIST SAY for the human condition in general? What does it say
about OUR old man nature? Is there anyone out there in
GreaseSpotLand that thinks they are really immune to this? If so,
please come forward with your secret... ...and be honest about it!
there's a vast difference between hedging to protect your privacy and telling outright lies on a consistent basis. I actually used to think that one could live honestly and truthfully.
now I could be accused of dishonesty for withholding information or obfuscating facts when revealing them could cause me harm, or being sneaky and sly for investigating my ex-husband's girlfriend without telling him about it... after all, I could just be honest and ask him, right?
in a perfect world I'd love to live honestly but I have to protect myself and I learned the hard way people will take your honesty and trust and use it against you. I think asking for the perfect one to step forward must be a facetious request. no one is perfect and our "old man nature" might have a predisposition to lie, as you surmise, but that is no excuse for the vpw's and lcm's in this world. shallow obfuscation does not excuse the depths of their lies, as the air-brushing of spoiled fruit doesn't make the fruit sweet.
I really can't work any more of those terms into my post.
The one girl at work who said, "If you've got it flaunt it."
Not only was she a pathological liar I think she had the opposite of anorexia. She was a blimp and would look in the mirror and see a hot babe.... Now what is that about? Her lying affected her vision?
The one girl at work who said, "If you've got it flaunt it."
Not only was she a pathological liar I think she had the opposite of anorexia. She was a blimp and would look in the mirror and see a hot babe.... Now what is that about? Her lying affected her vision?
I don't know what to call it except delusional. my ex used to say it too, when he was about 50# overweight and pear-shaped. he'd say, I have the body of adonis. I thought he was joking, then I found out he wasn't... he actually believed he was fit and appealing.
he was angry... literally angry... for days after he had his body fat ratio measured. there was no way to deny the test results.
it might be part of a personality disorder... narcissists reinvent their lives, why shouldn't that include being svelt and sexy when you're actually a tub?
She would wear those skin tight kinda stretchy pants from the 80's which showed off every lump and dimple. It was gross. And she would swing it around like she was Pamela Anderson. When in reality it was wobbling and jiggling...
I don't know what to call it except delusional. my ex used to say it too, when he was about 50# overweight and pear-shaped. he'd say, I have the body of adonis. I thought he was joking, then I found out he wasn't... he actually believed he was fit and appealing.
he was angry... literally angry... for days after he had his body fat ratio measured. there was no way to deny the test results.
it might be part of a personality disorder... narcissists reinvent their lives, why shouldn't that include being svelt and sexy when you're actually a tub?
What you AND Dot each described in the last two posts could just as easily be just simple application of the defense mechanism -- DENIAL. ALL of us do it to some degree. However, the gal at Dot's job, according to Dot's descriptions, did more than just lie to herself.
But your husband (ex?), that sounds like he was mainly deceiving himself, rather than trying to convince others of something he would have known to be otherwise... THAT, we ALL do.
However, again with the disclaimers, I'm not a mental health professional, so anything I say is just guessing anyway.
But your husband (ex?), that sounds like he was mainly deceiving himself, rather than trying to convince others of something he would have known to be otherwise... THAT, we ALL do.
I understand the idea of denial when it comes to body image. I knew I was a little, uh, shall we say generously sized after I had my second child but I didn't know realize how bad the extra 30 pounds looked until I saw pictures of myself.
if my ex didn't have a habit of lying and aggrandizement, I would suspect the same thing of him... but pooled with the other pathological habits it seems to be part of a larger problem.
he regularly took credit for the ideas of others. he couldn't perform well on the job because others held him back. he at one time believed he was an olympic skier and signed autographs. he freaked, literally freaked, in the presence of anyone with a name, from lcm to movie stars. personally I don't think, taken as a whole, that this behavior set is "normal".
"he regularly took credit for the ideas of others. he couldn't perform well on the job because others held him back. he at one time believed he was an olympic skier and signed autographs. he freaked, literally freaked, in the presence of anyone with a name, from lcm to movie stars. personally I don't think, taken as a whole, that this behavior set is "normal".
I hate thos people -- the credit hogs telling everyone they thought of it
(He I highlighted potato's line I wanted to quote and hit quote and nothing happened. WTF am I doing wrong?)
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excathedra
since i have a lot of irish in me, my boss's mother is irish and even has a brogue
but she's italian for the italian employees....
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Nottawayfer
My husband's boss lies all the time about how much over time he worked on the weekends and where he is going during the work day. They work for a communications company which requires them to go to different job sites at times and repair radio and television equipment.
One day, hubby's boss made a huge deal about having to go to a job site which is 3 hours away. This meant he wouldn't be around the whole day. My hubby was in another town about an hour away doing some work and spots his boss driving on the same road! He calls his boss on his cell and asks him how it's going. The whole time he is talking about what a biyatch things were to fix and how he was still coming down the mountain. Right when they were both getting ready to come to the same stop light, hubby asks him if he plans on stopping at Inn and Out on the corner for lunch. The boss looks over and says I gotta go.
CAUGHT!!!
This happens all the time. The boss will say he can't go certain places because he is already at a job site. Hubby drives by his house and sees him at home. The owner of the company is a complete idiot and lets him get away with it all. Shameful IMHO.
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excathedra
i went in really early one time (it was my day off but i had to do something important)
i told my coworkers when i had stopped in
of course the boss was telling them all what time he got in that day
wonder how come i didn't see him ?
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Nottawayfer
@#$@#!!! liars.....i have no pity for them.
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Dot Matrix
The girl I with whom I worked, told people I was a stand up comedian in California.
Now, I can be funny while I am standing up, but I never did the comedy circuit
I had a gold necklace and the person I was living with at the time was wearing one day -- had a long story about how his grandfather gave it to him...
LIAR
Always something like this going on...
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excathedra
snort (((((( dot )))))
this same boss has shrapnel in his shoulder from a war
he's been a cop
never mind a jeweler
many other things
i think he was in the priesthood for a while
trying to remember it all
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Dot Matrix
They must think we do not have memories...
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Rocky
Reminds me of Frank Abagnale... the subject of DiCaprio's movie, Catch Me If You Can. Which was on TV last night. I had already seen it... good movie despite the subject matter.
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potato
bingo!!!
it's actually stranger than that I think. they believe they can persuade you to see things their way.
frighteningly enough, they often can. domestic abuse is often reinforced with verbal bullying to remember things a certain way. victims aren't given much consideration because they seem confused and inconsistent.
I can testify from bitter experience that it's because they are confused and reality is inconsistent. a mere suggestion makes you doubt your version of events after a while.
I don't feel alone any more... it's strange that when you talk about stuff like this to most people, if they haven't met someone like this, they sincerely can't believe you're telling the truth!
that was an excellent movie. apparently it wasn't completely true, but what they did write gave some interesting insight in to pathological behavior. the dad scamming and blaming sort of taught the kid that this was how you get out of uncomfortable situations, then a personal crisis and BOOM! a pathological felon is born.
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Dot Matrix
WTF?
They must not think we talk and compare notes...
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Mike
On an old, pruned thread here
titled “Innies and Outies: all men are liars”
I posted as my very first post
the following on December 25, 2002 09:13:
The Truth About Lies
Many, many threads here have focused on truth vs. untruth and so I
thought I’d put in my two cents. This is my first post here after
years of friendly lurking since Waydale. Since leaving TWI in 1989,
I have carefully cultivated a set of rather extreme beliefs compared
to most of you, and I feel a need to go slowly in attempting to
communicate them here. I don’t want to start off by offending people
or scaring anyone off, so I chose this relatively safe topic based
on a few recent threads about lying that now look to have somewhat
run their courses.
Over the years I have had a varied correspondence with several of
you privately, for which I am thankful, and now I hope finally to
add something to this public forum. Some of you know me personally,
and we’re still actually friends, in spite of doctrinal differences!
Hi Mandii ! Hello Pamsandiego ! Will you two at least verify that
I’m not WAYGB if I’m ever placed under that suspicion? I’ll try not
to embarrass you both with my extreme doctrinal stances, but there
may be times I want to ask you to vouch for my integrity.
I guess that the best way to make friends here is by relating how I
too was hurt by the ministry machinations. This is something we all
have in common. We all got hit in one way or another with lies, and
maybe some of us even told a few ourselves.
It just so happens that the subject of lying was very interesting to
me well before I got into the Word, and I’ve spent about 35 years of
pondering the topic. My initial interest was in the electronics that
polygraphs are based on. As I became educated in the Bible, during
TWI’s good old days, the phrase “all men are liars” seemed to be a
frequently underlying motif for many Bible passages, contrasting
with the total trustworthiness of God, His Word, and His Son.
Then, during TWI’s first collapse in the late Eighties, I frequently
found myself being lied to by the leaders (from twi AND from
splinter groups) as I attempted to confront them or extract
information from them. It was a very confusing time, and most
leadership was keeping unusually quiet about all the raging issues.
Sometimes it wasn’t quite lying that they did, but certainly the
factual info was being withheld in one way or another, and that went
on for years. I often noticed that slightly different words or
phrases would describe the situation other than “lie,” but these
would still be words with many connotations similar to simple lying.
The next area relating to lying that got my attention was in
studying the workings of the human brain. During the Nineties I
happened to live near one of the world’s largest brain research
facilities, and all that decade I enjoyed getting to know some of
the scientists that worked there. I was allowed to attend seminars
with many top scholars in the field, and was invited to parties at
their houses. In that field they often study people who are the poor
victims of severe brain damage, and a very frequent phenomenon they
observe is what they call “confabulation.”
Confabulation is a nice word for “lying.” It turns out that many
different forms of brain injury can result in the victims lying
through their teeth a lot. It is truly a pitiful situation,
especially when the lies are very transparent. The victims are
totally unaware of how incredulous their words are. For example: a
totally blind person claiming to have perfect sight to an eye
doctor! This lends a lot of support to the Biblical contention that
we ALL are very predisposed to lie, but when our brains are intact
we employ very complex skills that can hide this profuse lying from
others (and ourselves) very well.
So, I heard some new synonyms for “lying” in my exposure to these
scientists, and started collecting a list of such words and phrases
to assist me in my lack of skill in confronting ministry leaders. I
learned to expect resistance from them, and I wanted to be able to
spot it as it happened, not hours later, so I tried to somewhat
prepare myself this way. I figured that if I was sharper at spotting
their dodges, then I could get better at on-the-spot follow-up
questions that could circumvent the dodge. They had a policy of
keeping mum on all behind-the-scenes ministry info and I was
developing a policy of penetrating this barrier.
This proceeded for several years, as I struggled with leadership in
a newly evolving twi-clone splinter group that pretty well took over
my area. As I got more and more aggressive in confronting
leadership, the common forms of persecution that religions often
degenerate to became more the rule than the exception. I was
confronted unjustly at times, and somewhat shunned at times.
Eventually I experienced a few more psychological horrors other than
mere lying, and it all got to be quite a zoo. Of all the hurts
reported here at GS that TWI-2 went through during the Nineties,
this very similar splinter group ALSO went through, just on a much
smaller scale.
It was late in this period, around 1997, that a scandal broke out in
the national news involving a man named Larry Lawrence, who had lied
about his military service and ended up being buried in Arlington
National Cemetery. It was front page news for weeks, and the
reporters covering the story nearly doubled my list of synonyms for
“lying.”
Then another big news event hit the front pages: the
Clinton/Lewinski scandal. President Clinton’s lying was portrayed in
the media by many more words and phrases that were added to my
expanding my list.
Still today, every now and then I run across another, and the list
grows a little more. I’m placing a SHORT version of this list below.
The full list has many very subtle entries, and some that only
communicate to a specialized field. So remember, this is the SHORT
list.
If it’s the case that Eskimos have some 22 words for “snow” because
they are so immersed in the white stuff, WHAT DOES THIS BLIZZARD OF
A LIST SAY for the human condition in general? What does it say
about OUR old man nature? Is there anyone out there in
GreaseSpotLand that thinks they are really immune to this? If so,
please come forward with your secret... ...and be honest about it!
The Short List
air brushed
alias
alter ego
ambiguous
artificial
bait and switch
bamboozle
based on a true story
bend the truth
bias
bluff
bogus
bribe
broken promise
....
bunk
camouflage
check's in the mail
circuitous
clandestine
comedy
con game
confabulate
conflabulate - Batman, I only weigh 108 pounds.
conspiracy
contradiction
cook the books
counterfactual
counterfeit
cover story
cover up
covert operation
crossed fingers
deceive
denial
deviate
dilute
diplomacy
disguise
dishonest
disingenuous
distort
dog and pony show
double minded
downplay
drivel
embelishmentationalism
embellish
emphasize
equivocal
ersatz
espionage
euphemism
evade
exaggerate
fable
fabricate
facetious
facsimile
fake
fallacy
falsehood
fantasy
feign
feign
fib
fiction
figment of imagination
figure of speech
finagle
flatter
flim flam
flimsy excuse
force fit
fraud
games people play
go through the motions
gossip
half truth
hallucinate
heresy
he's in a meeting
hoax
hokey
hoodwink
hooey
hoopla
horse feathers
humor
hype
hypochondriac
hypocrite
hysteria
idiom
illusion
imaginary
impersonate
impostor
incognito
inconsistent
infidelity
inflated claim
innuendo
insinuate
interpretation
irrational
it's the alcohol talking
jest
jocular
joke
josh
jury tamper
just between us
juxtaposition
kidding
kiss up
lame excuse
lawyer
lead on
libel
lie
lure
make believe
make up
malarkey
man made
manipulate (the truth)
masquerade
metaphorical
mirage
mirth
misinformation
misspeak
mistake
mock up
myth
No, darling. That dress doesn't make you look fat at all.
nonsense
obfuscate
occlude
off the record
optimist
oversimplification
oxymoron
padded bill
padded cellular phony
pickup lines
pat answer
pen name
perjury
persona
pessimist
phantom
phony
placate
placebo
plagiarism
plastic
play along with
play down
play up
ploy
poetic license
politician
pomp
poppycock
post-progressive
prank
press release
pretend
professional wrestling
prop
propaganda
protocol
pseudo
psychological warfare
psychosomatic
publicity stunt
pull the wool
pulling leg
pun
put best foot forward
put on
rationalization
ravings
renege
resume
reverse psychology
rhetoric
rogue
role playing
rose colored glasses
rumor
ruse
sales pitch
sarcasm
satire
scam
schizophrenic
sea story
secrecy
seduce
sensationalize
shallow
shenanigans
shield from the truth
shifty eyed
shill
showy
shtick
silly
simulate
siren song
skepticism
skin deep beauty
slander
slant
slight of hand
sloganeer
smear campaign
smoke screen
sneaky
snooker
snow job
spin
spoof
spoof
stage personality
stand in
stretch the truth
substitute
subterfuge
subvert
sugar coat
superstition
surreal
surrogate
take with a grain of salt
tall tale
tax deduction
technicality
the fish was THIS big
theatrics
thespian
throwing the bull
tip the scales
tone down
touch up
toy with
trick
twist the truth
two faced
typo
ulterior
unofficial
water down
white lie
white wash
with a wink and a nod
yarn
yes man
you're leading me on
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Kit Sober
the only thing I have had experience with is that these people pick on nice people because those are the ones who are most likely to not guess.
Takes one to know one kind of logic.
vp picked on kind-hearted true-hearted people who loved God and thought that everyone else did so as well.
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Nottawayfer
Memory saves you. I remember almost every single thing people tell me about themselves. It helped me a lot when I was internet dating. If something didn't line up, I asked more questions. If I felt I was being BSed, then I kicked them to the curb.
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potato
there's a vast difference between hedging to protect your privacy and telling outright lies on a consistent basis. I actually used to think that one could live honestly and truthfully.
now I could be accused of dishonesty for withholding information or obfuscating facts when revealing them could cause me harm, or being sneaky and sly for investigating my ex-husband's girlfriend without telling him about it... after all, I could just be honest and ask him, right?
in a perfect world I'd love to live honestly but I have to protect myself and I learned the hard way people will take your honesty and trust and use it against you. I think asking for the perfect one to step forward must be a facetious request. no one is perfect and our "old man nature" might have a predisposition to lie, as you surmise, but that is no excuse for the vpw's and lcm's in this world. shallow obfuscation does not excuse the depths of their lies, as the air-brushing of spoiled fruit doesn't make the fruit sweet.
I really can't work any more of those terms into my post.
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Dot Matrix
The one girl at work who said, "If you've got it flaunt it."
Not only was she a pathological liar I think she had the opposite of anorexia. She was a blimp and would look in the mirror and see a hot babe.... Now what is that about? Her lying affected her vision?
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potato
I don't know what to call it except delusional. my ex used to say it too, when he was about 50# overweight and pear-shaped. he'd say, I have the body of adonis. I thought he was joking, then I found out he wasn't... he actually believed he was fit and appealing.
he was angry... literally angry... for days after he had his body fat ratio measured. there was no way to deny the test results.
it might be part of a personality disorder... narcissists reinvent their lives, why shouldn't that include being svelt and sexy when you're actually a tub?
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Dot Matrix
No kiddin
She would wear those skin tight kinda stretchy pants from the 80's which showed off every lump and dimple. It was gross. And she would swing it around like she was Pamela Anderson. When in reality it was wobbling and jiggling...
And she tell me how all these men wanted her....
I thought
Yeah, all these guy want you to go away.
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Rocky
What you AND Dot each described in the last two posts could just as easily be just simple application of the defense mechanism -- DENIAL. ALL of us do it to some degree. However, the gal at Dot's job, according to Dot's descriptions, did more than just lie to herself.
But your husband (ex?), that sounds like he was mainly deceiving himself, rather than trying to convince others of something he would have known to be otherwise... THAT, we ALL do.
However, again with the disclaimers, I'm not a mental health professional, so anything I say is just guessing anyway.
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potato
I understand the idea of denial when it comes to body image. I knew I was a little, uh, shall we say generously sized after I had my second child but I didn't know realize how bad the extra 30 pounds looked until I saw pictures of myself.
if my ex didn't have a habit of lying and aggrandizement, I would suspect the same thing of him... but pooled with the other pathological habits it seems to be part of a larger problem.
he regularly took credit for the ideas of others. he couldn't perform well on the job because others held him back. he at one time believed he was an olympic skier and signed autographs. he freaked, literally freaked, in the presence of anyone with a name, from lcm to movie stars. personally I don't think, taken as a whole, that this behavior set is "normal".
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Dot Matrix
"he regularly took credit for the ideas of others. he couldn't perform well on the job because others held him back. he at one time believed he was an olympic skier and signed autographs. he freaked, literally freaked, in the presence of anyone with a name, from lcm to movie stars. personally I don't think, taken as a whole, that this behavior set is "normal".
I hate thos people -- the credit hogs telling everyone they thought of it
(He I highlighted potato's line I wanted to quote and hit quote and nothing happened. WTF am I doing wrong?)
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