Southern charm

[Kit Sober]

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

Clean skin.

A winning smile.

That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:

"Yes, ma'am."

"Yes, sir."

"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :

"Y'all come back!"

"Well, bless your heart."

"Drop by when you can."

"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:

Humidity

Humidity

Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach

The rivuh

The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:

Colorful hi-heel sandals

Strapless sun dresses

Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:

Baptist

Methodist

Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:

Red-eye gravy

Grits

Eggs

Country ham

Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn

S'vanah

Foat Wuth

N'awlins

Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform.

Men in tuxedos

Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb , or an adverb.

_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, at the least by marriage.

_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not li ke our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.

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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Now...... Shugah, this is for those who was raised in the South or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.

[Suda]

Reminds me of a favorite shirt I bought at Cracker Barrell.

G irls

R aised

I n

T he

S outh.

Suda

[RainbowsGirl]

Dear Kit ,

I enjoyed that so very much! I have an adopted daughter and she is from Louisiana...she is very precious to me...and reading this so reminds me of her. Sometimes I cannot always understand her, but reading this helps. I am a four seasons girl; but other than that Southern hospitality in so alluring!

[ex10]

Ha ha Suda. I have that same shirt. Daddy bought it for me when I lived in Michigan, and was complainin about the lack of turnip greens and fried okra up there. :B)

[coolchef]

thank god the yankees won the war

can you imagine sat nite with no beans and hot dogs and brown bread??

[oenophile]

thank god the yankees won the war

can you imagine sat nite with no beans and hot dogs and brown bread??

Yes, thank God you Yankees did win. I shudder to think where the cause of Civil Rights and Democracy would be now if the South had won. Yet, our food is demonstrably better than yours. I think the shortest book ever to be written would be Great Northern Cuisine.

Edited March 26, 2007 by oenophile

[likeaneagle]

huh??your food is better..I beg to differ and im a Yankee..whoopee

If my dad was alive, he'd be gettin a switch..jokin.

Edited March 26, 2007 by likeaneagle

[oenophile]

Collards, hamhocks, cornbread that melts in your mouth and fried okra trumps yankee pot roast anyday. Peach cobbler and hand cranked ice cream beats your apple pie. To say nothing about home made white lightning as smooth as a baby's butt beating your scotch.

[dmiller]

... and only a Southerner TRULY knows how to *open a can of whoop-@$$*, in a fight!!

[coolchef]

ok i'll cede on the white lightening

but

collard greens and okra??

give me lobster and clams!

[oenophile]

ahh but you've never had my mama's collard greens, hamhocks and okra...it nourishes the soul as well as the body. but wait, there's more...candied yams with cinnamon and melted marshmallows.

Edited March 27, 2007 by oenophile

[likeaneagle]

Im highly sensative to anyform of Yam's...my momma had to leave them in the kitchen on the stove because if I smelled them I would head to the bathroom..kind of odd..

being I was raised in little Europe my food tasting's spans many country's.

I do enjoy Collard's.

I enjoy a good potroast...I dont make the best tho..

Edited March 27, 2007 by likeaneagle

[ex70sHouston]

The first thing is who said the Northern aggressors won? We just let you think so out of kindness.

I have never liked ham hocks or grits.

Collard greens. Now were talken good food. I worry because my spousal unit and sons don't love this the way I do.

Fried okra. Stewed okra. Okra gumbo. Canned okra. Even raw okra. Them is all fine fixens.

If it walks on four legs it can be BBQ'd and taste great.

Ya'll forgot black eyed peas. Or as you northerners might call them"horse beans". This is something that takes two days to fix right but man o man is the wait worth it.

Chicken Fried steak covered with cream gravy.

Biscuits and gravy.

Tea is ment to be served iced and in a tall glass. Want to see me get upset bring a little tea pot out to the table with a cup.

I think I'm gonna head out for an early lunch at a diner. If you have never eaten at a small town southern diner you have never eaten out. We just have food groups that you would never understand.

Baked beans is somtin that you put hot dogs in.

Lobster makes for a fun shrimp gumbo.

[ChasUFarley]

thank god the yankees won the war

can you imagine sat nite with no beans and hot dogs and brown bread??

Ah... you are most certainly my cullinary soul mate!

Yes, thank God you Yankees did win. I shudder to think where the cause of Civil Rights and Democracy would be now if the South had won. Yet, our food is demonstrably better than yours. I think the shortest book ever to be written would be Great Northern Cuisine.

I can prove you wrong on that in one meal.

Or at least make you eat your words.

You are invited to Chez Chas' for dinner whenever you are in New Hampshire - I will prove you wrong with food that will make you groan with the pleasure you wished you could have exerienced with Ellie Mae behind the Tastee Freeze.... :)