Oh my, ladies – I’ve been reduced to a pile of heaving, sobbing blubber…I’m overwhelmed…so little time and so much to do…now I’m having to explain to Tonto why I’m feverishly straightening the dining room chairs, putting some breath mints by the armchair and going on a neighborhood scavenger hunt for a cornucopia. Geez, yah just can’t go broadcasting powerful seminars like that without thinking of the ramifications. Now, which one of you is going to teach tonight – I’m too busy setting up the living room and then I gotta go pick up some new people at the mall.
Oh my, ladies – I’ve been reduced to a pile of heaving, sobbing blubber…I’m overwhelmed…so little time and so much to do…now I’m having to explain to Tonto why I’m feverishly straightening the dining room chairs, putting some breath mints by the armchair and going on a neighborhood scavenger hunt for a cornucopia. Geez, yah just can’t go broadcasting powerful seminars like that without thinking of the ramifications. Now, which one of you is going to teach tonight – I’m too busy setting up the living room and then I gotta go pick up some new people at the mall.
Ummmmm...T-Bone? You're not STRINGING those dining room chairs....?
Ummmmm...T-Bone? You're not STRINGING those dining room chairs....?
Unfortunately I was…Your video clips activated a sleeper program…the only way Tonto could snap me out of it was by ripping the Corps name tag off my casually elegant shirt, getting me to recite “I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee,” as I snapped the green name tag in two. I celebrated my deliverance by exceeding the 2 drink limit.
15 And the evil spirit answered and said to them, "I recognize LCM , and I know about VPW [he kinda creeped me out though], but who are you?" 16 And the man, in whom was the evil spirit, leaped on them and subdued all of them and overpowered them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. 17 This became known to all, both TWI and GSC, who lived on the Internet; and fear fell upon them all and the name of GSC was being magnified. 18 Many also of those who had believed kept coming, confessing and disclosing their practices.19 And many of those who practiced chair setting brought their strings and tape measures together and began burning them in the sight of everyone; and they counted up the price of them and found it equivalent to Corps sponsorship for one person. 20 So the words of an idiot were growing mightily and prevailing.
Thanks all...Another Spot, watch your language around here! You used the word "creative" - - please oh please think before you speak - I don't want to hear this guy go on another rant...[now raising my voice] Oh and by the way, I'm getting rid of all my Christmas lights too, and turning in those rubber bands I took from the office. Full compliance here, sir, yes sir!
But the flashbacks are not of Vietnam. They are of TWI.
I hear voices from the past, such as...
"Let me reprove you..."
"If you don't like it you can leave!"
"If you leave, you'll be a greasespot by midnight!"
"Okay you're not a greasespot after last night, but you will be by tonight...!"
"Devil spirits look for disorganization, other Christian music, and how your couch is set against the wall making complete sense for ambiance in the room, so we must move the couch to make it look different so we can feel important and spiritual."
"If you don't tithe, God won't even spit in your direction..."
"If you don't sell your house and give your money to this ministry, God won't even spit in your direction."
"If you don't give 15% of your income, God won't even spit in your direction."
"You're not Way Corps, so God isn't spitting in your direction."
Way Corps: "We feel used, abused and like crap. God is spitting in our direction."
Note: I heard all these voices while stringing chairs and practicing my etiquette at Pizza Hut. A psychiatric unit was called. Thankfully, they had prescription drugs.
I still have flashbacks but I just don't feel bad about it...
Keys to Anger Management 101 (Learning is an exciting adventure).
1. The MOG came that he might yell more abundantly and to lie, steal and commit adultery.
2. Rightly divide the anger (spread it evenly).
(a). Get to whom correct (everyone).
3. Formed, made and created for one’s own personal use.
4. Crucify as many as you want.
5. Not under law, but grace. (no special rules).
6. Fall of man (failure to respond to your will).
7. Born again (more people to yell at).
8. S.I.T. much while yelling (it will confuse people and they will think you are a barbarian).
9. Prophesy is more mature (make up your own stuff and say it came from God. See number 8).
10. Operate all 9 all the time (improves versatility and impresses others).
11. Declare you have a gift ministry (improved control).
12. If they want to be ignorant, let them be ignorant (do your own thing).
Congratulations! You get a piece of paper and a name tag. Now go out and teach others this detailed knowledge no one else has. It works best if you do it with a superior attitude. Malls are popular places for spreading the word. If you get any strange looks, just start screaming in tongues and walk away knowing that not every one is meek to receive. That will bolster your morale.
Keys to Anger Management 101 (Learning is an exciting adventure).
1. The MOG came that he might yell more abundantly and to lie, steal and commit adultery.
2. Rightly divide the anger (spread it evenly).
(a). Get to whom correct (everyone).
3. Formed, made and created for one's own personal use.
4. Crucify as many as you want.
5. Not under law, but grace. (no special rules).
6. Fall of man (failure to respond to your will).
7. Born again (more people to yell at).
8. S.I.T. much while yelling (it will confuse people and they will think you are a barbarian).
9. Prophesy is more mature (make up your own stuff and say it came from God. See number 8).
10. Operate all 9 all the time (improves versatility and impresses others).
11. Declare you have a gift ministry (improved control).
12. If they want to be ignorant, let them be ignorant (do your own thing).
Congratulations! You get a piece of paper and a name tag. Now go out and teach others this detailed knowledge no one else has. It works best if you do it with a superior attitude. Malls are popular places for spreading the word. If you get any strange looks, just start screaming in tongues and walk away knowing that not every one is meek to receive. That will bolster your morale.
Wawhoo! Love it, Another Spot! That’s a great piece of [looks to make sure that yelling dude isn’t around] creativewriting for sure!!!!
T-bone. I simply inserted the X-mas decorations you threw away into my left ear. They work just fine and I am glad you got the blinking kind. I find they enhance my mall witnessing experiences greatly. Most people readily believe I am confusing and barbaric, especially when I start screaming in tongues.
Ever since I read your statement on another thread, “for this purpose I am scared” (which I still think is both hilarious and informative) I have been growing by leaps and bounds from the sheer inspiration of it. No doubt the lights help too.
Another Spot, I'm glad you put them to good use. If you’re interested in accessorizing, I’m also getting rid of Halloween and Easter decorations. You could do like a Nightmare before the Christmas Bunny theme or something. It ought to be a real conversation starter when you’re mall witnessing anyway.
Another Spot, I'm glad you put them to good use. If you’re interested in accessorizing, I’m also getting rid of Halloween and Easter decorations. You could do like a Nightmare before the Christmas Bunny theme or something. It ought to be a real conversation starter when you’re mall witnessing anyway.
She'll have to put them in her other ear....then spin around in a circle three times and say the words,
"THE WORD OF GOD IS THE WILL OF GOD, AND THE MOG SPEAKS FOR GOD."
Then she will have a perfectly renewed mind.....until the next time she forgets to keep her Bible ribbon marking the place for John 10:10 - just for witnessing purposes. ;)
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doojable
I bet this guy has the title of "Rev" in front of his name....
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A la prochaine
This one cuts right to the CORE... NOT FOR THE WEAK AT HEART.
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doojable
OMG! If this doesn't remind you of how bad Christmas was when we were in, nothing will:
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T-Bone
Oh my, ladies – I’ve been reduced to a pile of heaving, sobbing blubber…I’m overwhelmed…so little time and so much to do…now I’m having to explain to Tonto why I’m feverishly straightening the dining room chairs, putting some breath mints by the armchair and going on a neighborhood scavenger hunt for a cornucopia. Geez, yah just can’t go broadcasting powerful seminars like that without thinking of the ramifications. Now, which one of you is going to teach tonight – I’m too busy setting up the living room and then I gotta go pick up some new people at the mall.
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doojable
Ummmmm...T-Bone? You're not STRINGING those dining room chairs....?
GET OUT!
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Hooner
Those videos made me laugh....haha. Funny stuff.
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T-Bone
Unfortunately I was…Your video clips activated a sleeper program…the only way Tonto could snap me out of it was by ripping the Corps name tag off my casually elegant shirt, getting me to recite “I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee,” as I snapped the green name tag in two. I celebrated my deliverance by exceeding the 2 drink limit.
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doojable
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dande
this guy makes you want to say "Merry Christmas, Santa" on the way out of the office
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WordWolf
I think the one thing twi was any good at managing was anger.
in twi, anger growth received unprecedented heights not seen outside twi in any Christian group.
Many of these other angry preachers have to take a second place to the hateful,
destructive, punishing speeches in twi, especially in private.
Lately, however, I think that the outside world has surpassed twi again,
and now twi can't even claim the best screamers and hatemongers.
Entirely NEW hatemongers and screamers have risen outside their hallowed halls,
surpassing twi's current crops of bile.
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Ham
Hmm. I guess they will just have to try harder..
Maybe they just don't have any "leadership" left without worn out vocal chords..
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T-Bone
WiseCracks 19:15-20
15 And the evil spirit answered and said to them, "I recognize LCM , and I know about VPW [he kinda creeped me out though], but who are you?" 16 And the man, in whom was the evil spirit, leaped on them and subdued all of them and overpowered them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. 17 This became known to all, both TWI and GSC, who lived on the Internet; and fear fell upon them all and the name of GSC was being magnified. 18 Many also of those who had believed kept coming, confessing and disclosing their practices.19 And many of those who practiced chair setting brought their strings and tape measures together and began burning them in the sight of everyone; and they counted up the price of them and found it equivalent to Corps sponsorship for one person. 20 So the words of an idiot were growing mightily and prevailing.
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A la prochaine
T-Bone,
Wisecracks 19 ... that's halarious!
exceeding the 2 drink-limit... :o YOU ARE SO SINFUL!!!!!!!!!!
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another spot
T-bone:
Wisecracks is not only hilarious, it is a great piece of creative writing!!!
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T-Bone
Thanks all...Another Spot, watch your language around here! You used the word "creative" - - please oh please think before you speak - I don't want to hear this guy go on another rant...[now raising my voice] Oh and by the way, I'm getting rid of all my Christmas lights too, and turning in those rubber bands I took from the office. Full compliance here, sir, yes sir!
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Eagle
I was in Vietnam. And I had flashbacks.
But the flashbacks are not of Vietnam. They are of TWI.
I hear voices from the past, such as...
"Let me reprove you..."
"If you don't like it you can leave!"
"If you leave, you'll be a greasespot by midnight!"
"Okay you're not a greasespot after last night, but you will be by tonight...!"
"Devil spirits look for disorganization, other Christian music, and how your couch is set against the wall making complete sense for ambiance in the room, so we must move the couch to make it look different so we can feel important and spiritual."
"If you don't tithe, God won't even spit in your direction..."
"If you don't sell your house and give your money to this ministry, God won't even spit in your direction."
"If you don't give 15% of your income, God won't even spit in your direction."
"You're not Way Corps, so God isn't spitting in your direction."
Way Corps: "We feel used, abused and like crap. God is spitting in our direction."
Note: I heard all these voices while stringing chairs and practicing my etiquette at Pizza Hut. A psychiatric unit was called. Thankfully, they had prescription drugs.
I still have flashbacks but I just don't feel bad about it...
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A la prochaine
Eagle that is downright halariously sad!
thankfully they had prescription drugs.. :lol:
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another spot
Keys to Anger Management 101 (Learning is an exciting adventure).
1. The MOG came that he might yell more abundantly and to lie, steal and commit adultery.
2. Rightly divide the anger (spread it evenly).
(a). Get to whom correct (everyone).
3. Formed, made and created for one’s own personal use.
4. Crucify as many as you want.
5. Not under law, but grace. (no special rules).
6. Fall of man (failure to respond to your will).
7. Born again (more people to yell at).
8. S.I.T. much while yelling (it will confuse people and they will think you are a barbarian).
9. Prophesy is more mature (make up your own stuff and say it came from God. See number 8).
10. Operate all 9 all the time (improves versatility and impresses others).
11. Declare you have a gift ministry (improved control).
12. If they want to be ignorant, let them be ignorant (do your own thing).
Congratulations! You get a piece of paper and a name tag. Now go out and teach others this detailed knowledge no one else has. It works best if you do it with a superior attitude. Malls are popular places for spreading the word. If you get any strange looks, just start screaming in tongues and walk away knowing that not every one is meek to receive. That will bolster your morale.
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A la prochaine
Thanks Spot,
chuckling chuckling chuckling... :lol:
I thought the whole thing was good, but this last line certainly describes TWI and its crippling nature to a T.
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T-Bone
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another spot
T-bone. I simply inserted the X-mas decorations you threw away into my left ear. They work just fine and I am glad you got the blinking kind. I find they enhance my mall witnessing experiences greatly. Most people readily believe I am confusing and barbaric, especially when I start screaming in tongues.
Ever since I read your statement on another thread, “for this purpose I am scared” (which I still think is both hilarious and informative) I have been growing by leaps and bounds from the sheer inspiration of it. No doubt the lights help too.
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T-Bone
Another Spot, I'm glad you put them to good use. If you’re interested in accessorizing, I’m also getting rid of Halloween and Easter decorations. You could do like a Nightmare before the Christmas Bunny theme or something. It ought to be a real conversation starter when you’re mall witnessing anyway.
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doojable
She'll have to put them in her other ear....then spin around in a circle three times and say the words,
"THE WORD OF GOD IS THE WILL OF GOD, AND THE MOG SPEAKS FOR GOD."
Then she will have a perfectly renewed mind.....until the next time she forgets to keep her Bible ribbon marking the place for John 10:10 - just for witnessing purposes. ;)
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another spot
I'm too lazy for all that, dooj. I just spin my head.
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