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Wouldn't it tho...it would give away my postion and all the "bisquits" would get away!

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While I lived in Spain (three blocks from the beach), I had the opportunity to taste fresh shark. There is one bone in the middle and that’s all. It has very little fish taste. The Spanish cook it sautéed in butter, with onions, garlic, and tomatoes. The shark itself is cut into 1 inch thick steaks.

We would buy it and other fish from the markets fresh caught. These are open markets with tents. You can find skinned rabbits, sheep’s heads, all kinds of things (I didn’t try either of those. Yuck). The stench on hot days is hideous. I made the mistake my first trip of trying “café con leche” (milk with espresso so powerful you could use it for rocket fuel) at a restaurant. We also got churruso, which is doughnut dough squeezed out in tubes, fried, and dipped in sugar. Between the extreme caffeine and the smell of the market, I got sick as a dog. I got about 15 feet into the place, took one look at a skinned sheep’s head (eyes still in), and left.

If you’re interested: a main dish there that is culturally the proof of a good cook is tortilla, which is not the bread type of Mexico. What it is: dice raw potatoes, combine with beat up eggs, garlic, onions, and butter. Put in an iron skillet and bake. Cut like a pie and serve. Yummy!! It is served in almost all restaurants.

One of our favorite pastimes was to walk to the beach, order a pitcher of Sangria, and drink it while the kids swam at the beach. This Sangria is in the category of nectar of the gods as far as I am concerned and nothing like it can be found in the States. Normally a pitcher split between two gives a slight buzz. Mmmm….on one occasion, we stood up after our usual pitcher and almost fell down. Drunk as skunks. We were glad we walked and didn’t have to drive home. The walk was challenging. Really, really difficult.

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Another Spain tale:

We were living in Air Force housing. My husband was at work and my oldest (16) and I were watching “Psycho” late at night. We were at the point where the guy was going after the girl in the shower with a very large knife when a sound a lot like an explosion went off in the kitchen. We jumped several inches in the air from the couch.

Investigation revealed the hot water pipe broke under the kitchen sink. Massive amounts of water was pouring out. I couldn’t figure out where to turn off the water. I called “housing.” By the time they got there, I had about 6 inches of water in the kitchen flooding into the rest of the house.

So here I am in a nightgown, the house is flooding, and military knocking on my door, when my two year old enters the room. He was wearing underwear, my pink high heeled shoes, and a red-orange rain hat. Why exactly he choose these items to wear on this occasion I couldn’t say.

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Another Spain tale:

So here I am in a nightgown, the house is flooding, and military knocking on my door, when my two year old enters the room. He was wearing underwear, my pink high heeled shoes, and a red-orange rain hat. Why exactly he choose these items to wear on this occasion I couldn’t say.

You couldn't write a funnier movie scene than that if you tried!!

:biglaugh:

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On the way to the Rock one year.

We passed a sign with a picture of a car and little squiggle marks underneath. My husband says, “Do you know what that means?”

“I dunno, you tell me.”

“Beware of tire eating snakes.”

Further down the road: “There are 750 people there.”

“I’ll bite. How do you know?”

“The sign says 1500 feet.”

We get to Chicago. We weren’t aware or prepared for the toll exits. We exit and find we need $.35 to get off. It had to be exact. WE DIDN’T HAVE IT.

There are these terrible looking, tire slashing things ahead and no way out. It was rush hour traffic and a bunch of cars behind us. They are honking. They are mad. We are scrabbling for this money. My middle son thinks he might have it in his suitcase. He gets in the back and sure enough finds it. Sigh…

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Yeah, but you have to have exactly 35 cents to get off those roads!!!! Fifty cents won't do. A dollar won't do.

That's the price you have to pay.

I think the price has gone up. :biglaugh:

While I lived in Spain (three blocks from the beach), I had the opportunity to taste fresh shark. There is one bone in the middle and that’s all. It has very little fish taste. The Spanish cook it sautéed in butter, with onions, garlic, and tomatoes. The shark itself is cut into 1 inch thick steaks.

So you found Uncle Juan to be taste did you? Hmmmmm....

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Ok, a few more Spain tales.

Surprisingly, a lot of Americans had this idea that even though in a foreign country, the Spanish were somehow obligated to speak English. They would try speaking English slowly and louder as if that would somehow make them understand English. Really their attitude was a bit arrogant.

I ended up going to a Spanish bank with a cocky captain. He thought he had a great command of Spanish. He didn’t.

He walks up to the clerk and says, “Damelo dolor.” That means give me pain. It is in the command form which makes it rude in Spanish culture. He thought he was asking for American dollars.

She looked at him like he was from Mars.

_________

My husband was a computer engineer. He worked on A-waks software. The pilots had no conception of software and an arrogant attitude. They were complaining.

My husband said, “Your problem is you are not rotating the reels of tape. You need to rotate them every 24 hours or you will have bit sag. The bits drop down to the bottom.”

An order went out from the top to rotate the reels every 24 hours. Eventually this came to the attention of the head of the software department who knew of course this was bogus. He got reprimanded a bit with numerous chuckles.

______________

We got a call in the middle of the night. Another full of himself officer. The printer wasn’t working. My husband said, “the problem is you are in O-F-F mode.

“What does that mean?” The officer said.

“Turn the printer on…”

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The haircut incident.

One of the ways I used to save money was giving the boys hair cuts myself with clippers. On this particular day, I employed a new method I had recently observed a barber use. Instead of using scissors to cut the front, I used the clippers. It really was much faster.

Later on we were watching a movie while all the boys were upstairs. Jeremy came down. We had been talking awhile when I noticed his eyebrows looked funny. The outside parts were gone. It dawned on me I must have shaved them off with the clippers. We all started cracking up. Brian came downstairs to see what was so funny. As I was telling him, I noticed his eyebrows were completely gone.

By now we were really laughing, so Michael comes downstairs to see what’s going on. I could barely tell him, but did notice the inside of his eyebrows were gone. He was fifteen at the time, and he saw no humor in this at all. He checked himself out in the mirror and his face turned red with anger. He didn’t say a word however. I assured him I could make him look normal with an eyebrow pencil, and they would grow back.

Michael’s friend comes downstairs. We tell him all about it and everyone is laughing except Michael. I pull myself together, put on a straight face and say, “would you like a haircut?”

“No, my mom cuts mine,” he said with a sober face and fear in his eyes.

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They grow them big in Spain, or reasons to stand on your desk at work

I was the secretary for the flying club. The office was located in a large field next to the flight line. There was a sizeable gap under the front door. The two flight instructors and I were getting some airplane parts ready to mail when a giant millipede nonchalantly wandered in under the door.

It was sixteen inches long, and four inches wide. We had old green shag carpet, so it looked like a sea creature as it walked, waving along. It’s back was a shiny, coffee brown, and its legs were a dull taupe resembling fur since there was so many of them. In no hurry, it sauntered on in, occasionally raising its head to peer around. By that time, I was on top of my desk.

The trick was catching it as it proved to be extremely fast when pursued. For a while it was sheer chaos. Each instructor was trying to catch it, would get it cornered, and it would race away in a sort of ruffled motion on the carpet, easily outrunning the instructors. While all this is going on, we were trying to figure out what they were going to do with it even if they could catch it. Grab it with their hands?

We had some discussion about whether or not they are poisonous. I said I didn’t care. I am picturing it climbing up my leg some day if they didn’t catch it. I told them the choices were to catch it or find another secretary.

At one point, a flight instructor had it caught under his foot. The two ends on either side began waving around and feeling his pant leg, unconcerned and curious. The cushion of the shag carpet prevented him from being able to squash it, even though he was heavy. We were further impeded by a lack of weapons. The other instructor did locate a hammer. I grabbed a pair of scissors from my desk, which I handed over still unwilling to climb down. While the millipede was pinned down, the other instructor cut off the back side of it. The two halves started to run, both instructors in pursuit.

Eventually they got it outside and finished it off with the hammer. Brutal, I know. An insect that large really should be classified as an animal, I think.

For the remainder of my employment there, I did keep an eye on the floor area by the front door. Frequently.

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:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

No, my first thought was: have no fellowship with over-sized insects.

Catch, kill, and destroy.

Cast it out.

Today I will see you in paradise.

For this purpose you were paired.

As far as a cutting ministry, right cutting and attention to detail is important. That’s my main belief. Maybe I’ll just start a new cult. Pay me $.35 or get your tires slashed. I just need 1500 feet.

Lol. The interesting thing about the shaved eyebrows: They were so symmetrical!!!

Edited by another spot
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...As far as a cutting ministry, right cutting and attention to detail is important. That's my main belief. Maybe I'll just start a new cult. Pay me $.35 or get your tires slashed. I just need 1500 feet.

Lol. The interesting thing about the shaved eyebrows: They were so symmetrical!!!

:biglaugh::biglaugh: I'm telling ya - Rev. Another Spot has a ministry on the cutting edge....with signs, miracles and wonders guaranteed to raze a few eyebrows. :biglaugh::biglaugh:

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:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

Lol. Raze or shorten??? Or should they be allowed to grow stage by stage from the inside out without compulsion or cutting from the outside? All things cut should be evenly distributed. I think. Let’s see now, 1500 feet equals 1500 individual eyebrows. So many eyebrows, so little time…

----------------------

My step-dad is a wonderful man. He really is. Kind, gentle, patient, highly educated (PHD in history of science), but ultra conservative. Not long after he married my mom, he was carrying some boxes to the garage. For some odd reason, he got it into his head to jump over the steps. This was really out of character.

Unfortunately, there was a wire going across the raised garage door. He jumps, and instead of landing, finds himself hung by his nose on this wire (which uhmm…is kinda large), feet off the ground, and the stack of boxes still in his hands.

To this day, there is a little “V” in the wire of the garage door…

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