Did you leave Twi on your own or were you pushed out? Have you picked up the pieces.
I was thinking of asking much the same question when I logged on and saw this. I've read lots of posts here about why people stayed, which is, of course, an important question. Many of us experienced the control and fear that kept us there far too long. But the next question that comes to mind is, "Why did you leave?"
For myself, it was several factors, starting with the complete lack of support when times got hard. I was WOW and then a twig leader in a new area in the late 70's and early 80's in Idaho. The leadership there was very hard core, lots of in-your-face controntation, etc. If you experienced hardship it was because of some horrible flaw in your spirituality or character, which really started to pi*s me off.
The next factor was the way in which married women were treated. I was very resistant to getting married because I knew that even though I had been a dynamic teacher and leader up to then, once I married I would be expected to wear a hat I knew wasn't going to fit very well. So, that pi*sed me off.
The final straw came after I married and then had a baby. The whole wooden spoon thing made me sick. Once I was told by a branch coordinator that I should hit my 6 month old baby if she was fussy during a twig, I was finally pi*sed enough to walk away. I've always been on the "outspoken" side, so telling them a thing or two on my way out made me feel much better.
As far as "picking up the pieces," it was amazingly easy. I just followed my own instincts, did what I wanted, and have been pretty much fine ever since.
I have very few regrets, except concerning some of my own behavior while in twi. That "in your face" confrontation was all the rage. I was young and passionate and as full of myself as any other foolish young person (wasn't it Mark Twain who said that the problem with youth is it's wasted on the young!). There were occasions when I treated people badly and I wish I hadn't. Remember that bumper sticker that said, "mean people suck?" They do. So I regret times that I was mean, and have sought to be a kinder person since.
I left on my own in 1987...never looked back. I was quite disapointed in twi at the time but I didn't have any pieces to pick up...
I felt that I was right and they were wrong...it was as simple as that for me. Over the years I have changed my views on many things and try to live a godly life...
as far as the Humpty Dumpty analogy goes...I think it was twi that "had a great fall"...
I was not thrown out nor was my exit dramatic in nature.
I simply drifted away because of family and work commitments.
Truth be known, I had been slowly drifting away for a half dozen years or so before I finally made the break.
And quite honestly, that whole idea of walking away from the "hedge of protection" seemed very frightening at first.
When I hear people ask, "why didn't you just walk away?", I have to wonder where the heck they were when the "hedge of protection" and the "one true household" doctrines were being drilled into our heads.
I mean, people really believed that if they ever left, they would find themselves standing spiritually naked in a world run by the Devil and be at his mercy, to do with them whatever he chose.
I think that scripture about a dog returning to its vomit was used to reinforce this.
They taught that if you ever left after now having heard "The Truth", your life would be much worse than it was before you "got in The Word".
Well, that stuff never happened, but what took me by surprise was that, after nearly 20 years of people telling me how much they "loved me" and how I was "the best", no one even seemed to notice I was gone. No one bothered to come looking for me.
I was unaware of the crazy things I have since learned here on GSC regarding the abuses at the upper levels and the law suits and such.
For the most part, before I came to The Cafe, I thought of myself as a part of TWI in the same sense as a person who has moved a couple states away from home but is still a part of their family.
I never felt like I had left God or that God had left me.
I just felt like I had somehow disappointed God by forsaking what I thought was "the one true household."
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Tamar
I was thinking of asking much the same question when I logged on and saw this. I've read lots of posts here about why people stayed, which is, of course, an important question. Many of us experienced the control and fear that kept us there far too long. But the next question that comes to mind is, "Why did you leave?"
For myself, it was several factors, starting with the complete lack of support when times got hard. I was WOW and then a twig leader in a new area in the late 70's and early 80's in Idaho. The leadership there was very hard core, lots of in-your-face controntation, etc. If you experienced hardship it was because of some horrible flaw in your spirituality or character, which really started to pi*s me off.
The next factor was the way in which married women were treated. I was very resistant to getting married because I knew that even though I had been a dynamic teacher and leader up to then, once I married I would be expected to wear a hat I knew wasn't going to fit very well. So, that pi*sed me off.
The final straw came after I married and then had a baby. The whole wooden spoon thing made me sick. Once I was told by a branch coordinator that I should hit my 6 month old baby if she was fussy during a twig, I was finally pi*sed enough to walk away. I've always been on the "outspoken" side, so telling them a thing or two on my way out made me feel much better.
As far as "picking up the pieces," it was amazingly easy. I just followed my own instincts, did what I wanted, and have been pretty much fine ever since.
I have very few regrets, except concerning some of my own behavior while in twi. That "in your face" confrontation was all the rage. I was young and passionate and as full of myself as any other foolish young person (wasn't it Mark Twain who said that the problem with youth is it's wasted on the young!). There were occasions when I treated people badly and I wish I hadn't. Remember that bumper sticker that said, "mean people suck?" They do. So I regret times that I was mean, and have sought to be a kinder person since.
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cheranne
meant to be asked as a positive question! What are you doing or into now?
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Tamar
Oops...
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cheranne
Yes,i'd like to have shoved that wooden spoon through their skull if anyone ever told me how to discipline my child.
I woke up one day and realized i was 21 and going nowhere fast,and for what? It was one of those ah ha moments
thinks were real clear like when your really AWAKE.
I wanted to work in criminal justice and i was that age when i could go to the police academy finally. So i left but 6
months later went back in...just could not shake the whole serving God vow thing i was torn between what and who
to serve so i went back in....recommitted myself and became a military wow,kda serving both of my desires career
and moving the word(working retail selling vpws snake oil)
Got out in 82 because of the whole marriage thing didn't set well with me on how twi thought i should be.
Sound like i got out just before the dung hit the fan!
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Ham
I think it was a mutual agreement. I found myself eye to eye with a madman and slowly backed away..
as far as recovery is concerned.. I had already started getting involved in the community. Shortly after, I went back to college.
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GrouchoMarxJr
I left on my own in 1987...never looked back. I was quite disapointed in twi at the time but I didn't have any pieces to pick up...
I felt that I was right and they were wrong...it was as simple as that for me. Over the years I have changed my views on many things and try to live a godly life...
as far as the Humpty Dumpty analogy goes...I think it was twi that "had a great fall"...
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waysider
I was not thrown out nor was my exit dramatic in nature.
I simply drifted away because of family and work commitments.
Truth be known, I had been slowly drifting away for a half dozen years or so before I finally made the break.
And quite honestly, that whole idea of walking away from the "hedge of protection" seemed very frightening at first.
When I hear people ask, "why didn't you just walk away?", I have to wonder where the heck they were when the "hedge of protection" and the "one true household" doctrines were being drilled into our heads.
I mean, people really believed that if they ever left, they would find themselves standing spiritually naked in a world run by the Devil and be at his mercy, to do with them whatever he chose.
I think that scripture about a dog returning to its vomit was used to reinforce this.
They taught that if you ever left after now having heard "The Truth", your life would be much worse than it was before you "got in The Word".
Well, that stuff never happened, but what took me by surprise was that, after nearly 20 years of people telling me how much they "loved me" and how I was "the best", no one even seemed to notice I was gone. No one bothered to come looking for me.
I was unaware of the crazy things I have since learned here on GSC regarding the abuses at the upper levels and the law suits and such.
For the most part, before I came to The Cafe, I thought of myself as a part of TWI in the same sense as a person who has moved a couple states away from home but is still a part of their family.
I never felt like I had left God or that God had left me.
I just felt like I had somehow disappointed God by forsaking what I thought was "the one true household."
I definitely don't feel that way anymore.
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Twinky
I started a poll on why people left. Think I'll just bring it back up to the top.
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