The Rest of My Story

[bowtwi]

I recently have been "found" by my dear friend that had spoken with the then-family corps coordinator that marked and avoided my son and me, throwing us out of the cult over false accusations almost 15 years ago. My friend and I had lost touch over the years and she just found me a couple months ago.

This reunion inspired me to write that man and see if he had anything to say to me and my son, now that he's been out of the cult for years too. I figured I was finally ready to hear what he might say, really thinking he'd say something like it was all a mess and no, we didn't really believe you and your son were doing what we said we believed you were doing. I don't know really what I expected, but here's what I got.

I wrote him on Jan. 23. He wrote me back a week later. 3 days after that, I wrote him again, "filling him in" as he'd asked. Today is Mar 15 and I've still not heard back from him. I was hoping to post a report of some closure. Actually, I am reporting closure, but not thanks to his input.

The very second I hit the Send button on the "filling him in e-mail", I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I hadn't contacted him sooner than this because I wasn't ready to "let him or twi off the hook". If he apologized to me and asked my forgiveness, I would have given it - but somehow I felt like I didn't have to forgive him until he asked me to. Surely he knew what he said and did to me (and my son), surely it wasn't THAT common a thing he had to do in his job - or was it? Nah, couldn't be. Now I'm thinking maybe it was!

I've concluded that for myself, I have come to believe that I didn't want to give that man an opportunity to apologize to me and my son until I was good and ready to forgive him and twi. In my own little corner of the world, I wasn't letting him off the hook that easily. They absolutely DESTROYED my world with their false accusations.

I was going to hold my grudge until he sought me out and asked my forgiveness! When that dawned on me, I realized that I was still giving them power over me and my peace of mind, my future, my kids' lives…

I felt like a fool for being sucked into this cult. I felt like a bad mom for dragging my precious son into it. I felt like a bad wife for divorcing my husband because twi told me to. I felt like I got caught being needy, weak, spiritually immature, all sorts of negatives that I COULDN'T forgive myself for.

What I didn't notice until reading in the current forgiveness thread, was that I hadn't forgiven MYSELF and I wasn't going to even be able to forgive myself until I forgave them! As long as I was focussed on what they'd done to me, I wasn't seeing what I'd done to me by giving them that power over me.

As long as I continued holding my grudge against him and them, I didn't have to face my part in it. As long as he (they) never repented and asked my forgiveness, this resentment and hard heartedness would continue in me. I never had to look at how I contributed to my situation. It was just "all their fault".

I deliberately decided that whether or not I ever heard back an apology from him, I was taking my power back.

It no longer matters to me if I ever hear back from him. I've forgiven him, twi, and best of all, ME. I'm thrilled with the way I feel inside now. I had been carrying around tons of guilt that I really didn't need to carry - for years and years.

Sure, I'd like to hear why they did what they did to me and my son, but it no longer matters to me. It used to be very important to me. I feel truly liberated in a way I hadn't realized I wasn't free. I feel like my healing has really stepped up a notch here. Now I feel free-er than ever!

I changed only the names of the people named to their twi position in this exchange.

On Jan 23, 2008, M&A'd One wrote:

> Family Corp Coord,

>

> My name is M&A'd One. I'm writing to ask you if you'd be so

> kind as to tell me a few things so that I can put away some of my

> history and my son's.

>

> I was told years ago that you made it a point to speak to those

> that wanted to speak with you in cases like ours. I have no idea

> if you still do or not, nor do I know if you even remember us. At

> the time I was told that, I felt unable to speak graciously with you.

>

> I would prefer e-mail contact if it's all the same to you, if

> you're even up for any discussion with me.

>

> Thank you,

>

M&A'd one

On 1/30/08, Family Corps Coord wrote:

Don't remember. Fill me in. I'm kind of at a loss why you figure

what I think even matters.

On 2/2/08, M&A'd One wrote:

Specifically, I mean to ask why me and my son, as well as who did the false accusations come from.

We had been wows in Santa Fe, NM that last year of the wow program. That was also my apprentice year. I spoke with Cabinet Member at the rock, told him I felt it would have been best for me to take a second apprentice year as I still had some debt to handle for my son's hospitalization while we were wow. He convinced me that God wanted me in THAT corps, that year, that God had big plans for me. I found someone to take over my payments on that debt while I would be in residence.

I went into residence and was thrilled that you were the coordinator, although when I heard Former Family Corps Coords weren't staying on as corps coordinators I was disappointed. I had met you when you came to my home state to visit your son in the hospital. I had been impressed with you and you were, in my opinion, a great man of God. I couldn't wait to learn at your feet.

I ate breakfast at the head table with you and the Asst Family Corps Coords, feeling like I was right where God wanted me and when my first assignment in residence was to clean toilets I was thankful for the opportunity. Within 30 minutes of starting that assignment I was summoned to the president's parlor where you first demanded that I not speak a single word, as anything I would say would be a lie. You went on, in front of my beloved Asst Corps Coords, to chew me up and spit me out like I'd never been talked to in all my life.

You accused my son of being a homosexual child molester, said you had a drawing of my son with some boy's "dick in his mouth" and refused to tell me who said such things about my son. You accused me of trying to "sneak this contamination" onto your campus and made it very clear that I was no longer welcome at the way and that God was onto me and you guys there weren't fooled either. You "allowed" me one hour to pack up and get off "your campus". You demanded that I go to the high school and get my "piece of dang" son. You said that if I ran true to form I would be badmouthing the ministry within 24 hours.

You broke me. I drove about a half mile from the campus after Asst Family Corps Coord packed me up, as I was physically and emotionally destroyed, unable to pack myself.

I barely made it to the school, where I asked my son about the sex he'd been having. I tried to call headquarters and talk to TWI President or someone who could help us get to the bottom of this misunderstanding. Trunk Coord finally took the call and attacked us some more, insisting that we had best not go over there, as there were armed guards patrolling the grounds on the lookout for us, with pictures of me and my 13-year-old son. We were clearly no longer welcome at the way.

That same week, a friend of mine from home that had never been involved in the way, called me at the Indiana campus and was given to you. You used the most vile language she had ever heard in her life, shocked her to think you were a minister speaking that way, and said that you told her if she thought I was so great she should go to FL and bed down with me - that I was a lesbian.

My questions for you are simply:

1. Where did you get this information about my son and me?

2. Why were we singled out and falsely accused?

Family Corps Coord, my son was not nor is he a homosexual. IF he were, I'd love him just the same. He is not, though, and those were false accusations. I believed in the way ministry and the way corps program and taught my son as I believed.

We were completely destroyed by your words. We were never given the opportunity to face our accusers or answer to the accusations.

It took me years to understand that the way was not what I had believed it to be. I sunk my whole heart and soul into that ministry, as I believe you did.

Please help me put these last pieces to rest so I can put that away once and for all.

It's what you thought then, not what you think now, that I'm asking. I don't imagine you believe now what you did then. At least I hope not, for your sake. I believe at this point that you were "just doing your job" and following what you were instructed to do in your position at the time. I see you as no more guilty than I was when I avoided others who had been falsely accused before me.

I bear no ill will toward you. I'm simply trying to put closure to that horrific experience my son and I survived.

M&A'd One

[likeaneagle]

Bowtwi-

I am totaly disgusted with THE Way!!

My heart tears for you sorrow...I hope you find peace in this life...and know one day they will be accountable....there are no words for this stuff..

much love Bowtwi...let the peace of God rule in your heart....they are nothing anymore.

[wrdsandwrks]

It no longer matters to me if I ever hear back from him. I've forgiven him, twi, and best of all, ME. I'm thrilled with the way I feel inside now. I had been carrying around tons of guilt that I really didn't need to carry - for years and years.

Sure, I'd like to hear why they did what they did to me and my son, but it no longer matters to me. It used to be very important to me. I feel truly liberated in a way I hadn't realized I wasn't free. I feel like my healing has really stepped up a notch here. Now I feel free-er than ever!

Praise God! Thanks for sharing this!

I'm appalled but not surprised at what you went through, but I'm so happy that you are free and healed and can share your deliverance with others.

[brideofjc]

What I didn't notice until reading in the current forgiveness thread, was that I hadn't forgiven MYSELF and I wasn't going to even be able to forgive myself until I forgave them! As long as I was focussed on what they'd done to me, I wasn't seeing what I'd done to me by giving them that power over me.

As long as I continued holding my grudge against him and them, I didn't have to face my part in it. As long as he (they) never repented and asked my forgiveness, this resentment and hard heartedness would continue in me. I never had to look at how I contributed to my situation. It was just "all their fault".

I deliberately decided that whether or not I ever heard back an apology from him, I was taking my power back.

It no longer matters to me if I ever hear back from him. I've forgiven him, twi, and best of all, ME. I'm thrilled with the way I feel inside now. I had been carrying around tons of guilt that I really didn't need to carry - for years and years.

M&A'd One

Amen, Bowtwi!

I firmly believe this is why the LORD JESUS commanded those who follow HIM to FORGIVE whether the one who injures ever seeks our forgiveness or not, is so that we can take ourselves out of the EQUATION and thus we operate no longer subjectively, but objectively, thus giving us a keener view from above.

There was a sign in my college bookstore that has stuck with me all of these years:

UNFORGIVENESS

IS ALLOWING SOMEONE TO LIVE RENT FREE

IN YOUR HEAD!

[PurpleDays]

What I didn't notice until reading in the current forgiveness thread, was that I hadn't forgiven MYSELF and I wasn't going to even be able to forgive myself until I forgave them! As long as I was focussed on what they'd done to me, I wasn't seeing what I'd done to me by giving them that power over me.

As long as I continued holding my grudge against him and them, I didn't have to face my part in it. As long as he (they) never repented and asked my forgiveness, this resentment and hard heartedness would continue in me. I never had to look at how I contributed to my situation. It was just "all their fault".

I deliberately decided that whether or not I ever heard back an apology from him, I was taking my power back.

Dear Bowtwi,

My! how I can relate to what you've posted above. I, too, have been going through this same process in my life recently. Don't know if I'll express it well here, but truly humbling oneself before Jesus Christ, focusing only one oneself and asking for forgiveness for our sins, regardless of the influence or input of others to our making those mistakes, is truly awesome. The chastisement of the Lord does follow swiftly, but it is so healing! You see the error of your ways, it "brands" your moral compass with an "extra weight", to maybe act as a warning siren so that you never let yourself be pulled off course again by that/those tactics. It inspires you with great confidence and strength, and renews your zest for being the best you can be with Christ in You!

We are each so precious in the sight of Jesus Christ. As our mediator, he will fight for us to get ourselves back on the right course. He goes with us with His empathy and compassion as we approach the throne of God, confess and repent of our sins, and stays by our side as we receive the chastisment of the Lord, and then use that knowledge to heal our hearts and strengthen our souls.

Experiencing this process has been like a true spiritual awakening for me. I feel I am on the brink of new and glorious growth of Christ of me, and am excited to see what the future holds. I'm thrilled to see you are on this same or a similar journey.

Here's to you, my dear sister in Christ!

PurpleDays

(the poster formerly known as Suda, but felt a new name was in order to celebrate my spiriutal awakening and healing)

[wing]

Rock on, Bowtwi !! Very cool indeed, in the best sense of the word.

There are no easy words to say my empathy for your experience.

You have a very ((((tender heart)))) give it to God, and not to them.

wing

[doojable]

Bow, what I jumped out at me right away was that this has been bothering you for all these years. It makes sense really, since you were the one wronged, and you hadn't really done anything to deserve the treatment you recieved - which most likely added to your anguish over all this. You had no closure. At the time, you were given no recourse - only to "bear the shame" for something you knew you hadn't done.

But you here you said this:

I felt like a fool for being sucked into this cult. I felt like a bad mom for dragging my precious son into it. I felt like a bad wife for divorcing my husband because twi told me to. I felt like I got caught being needy, weak, spiritually immature, all sorts of negatives that I COULDN'T forgive myself for.

What I didn't notice until reading in the current forgiveness thread, was that I hadn't forgiven MYSELF and I wasn't going to even be able to forgive myself until I forgave them! As long as I was focussed on what they'd done to me, I wasn't seeing what I'd done to me by giving them that power over me.

As long as I continued holding my grudge against him and them, I didn't have to face my part in it. As long as he (they) never repented and asked my forgiveness, this resentment and hard heartedness would continue in me. I never had to look at how I contributed to my situation. It was just "all their fault".

You felt like a fool, like a bad mom, like a bad wife, like so many awful things about you that had no place in the truth.

And you lived all these years as if those awful things were true.

YET - that man not only carried NO guilt, he hadn't even noticed or cared about what he had done to you once you confronted him and asked him about his actions. Maybe he had cared long ago. Maybe there was a time that he felt bad about his actions towards you and others. Perhaps he "had dealt with this" sometime in his past and felt like he could lump you in with with a crowd of others. Who knows if it grieved him at any point in time. All I can see is that when he was faced by an individual he could have dealt with he chose not to.

I'm glad that even in the face of his callousness you were able to find release.

While I see it as "your part in it" was that you were trying to serve God, that "part" somehow had been turned to evil in your eyes. The fact remains that you had a part - and that "part" was keeping you feeling guilty.

I'm not sure that any of us would have called you"guilty" but this really was about how you felt about you. I applaud you for seeing this all for what it is.

Edited March 17, 2008 by doojable

[bowtwi]

Bow, what I jumped out at me right away was that this has been bothering you for all these years. It makes sense really, since you were the one wronged, and you hadn't really done anything to deserve the treatment you recieved - which most likely added to your anguish over all this. You had no closure. At the time, you were given no recourse - only to "bear the shame" for something you knew you hadn't done.

But you here you said this:

You felt like a fool, like a bad mom, like a bad wife, like so many awful things about you that had no place in the truth.

And you lived all these years as if those awful things were true.

YET - that man not only carried NO guilt, he hadn't even noticed or cared about what he had done to you once you confronted him and asked him about his actions. Maybe he had cared long ago. Maybe there was a time that he felt bad about his actions towards you and others. Perhaps he "had dealt with this" sometime in his past and felt like he could lump you in with with a crowd of others. Who knows if it grieved him at any point in time. All I can see is that when he was faced by an individual he could have dealt with he chose not to.

I'm glad that even in the face of his callousness you were able to find release.

While I see it as "your part in it" was that you were trying to serve God, that "part" somehow had been turned to evil in your eyes. The fact remains that you had a part - and that "part" was keeping you feeling guilty.

I'm not sure that any of us would have called you"guilty" but this really was about how you felt about you. I applaud you for seeing this all for what it is.

Dooj - Once again you've absolutely nailed a major point. This is the part I had trouble putting into words - this is what was so confusing to deal with, how I knew I was as opposed to how I felt I was, and how I felt I was - was based on baloney that "leaders" that didn't even have the first clue about me were declaring to be facts! (Of course, they never came up with the accusers or any sort of proof whatsoever...) Thanks for communicating so clearly!

[TheHighWay]

Bowtwi,

I never experienced anything as horrible as you did in twi, but I did have someone basically "break" my family financially and because of that, emotionally in many ways!! And like you, I took a chance that came my way to confront and question the person, and like you I got a very lame response. (oh, my, gawd... how can these people not REMEMBER you or doing something that dramatic and traumatic to you????????) Mine also didn't remember doing any harm at all, and gave me a vague sort of "gee, I'm really sorry if something happened that hurt you..." like it was all in my own head or something.

But, like you, I also went through a very cathartic experience and I realized that by facing this, I was taking back the power I had handed over to him. I guess I was basically admitting to myself that I HAD allowed him to do this damage, (even though it was out of innocence and a pure heart) and now I would never let anyone do that to me again. And now, when I think of this person, I just shake my head and feel sorry for him that he is the kind of person who goes through life very selfishly, and he will miss so much of the best things in life because of it.

I can't say I've forgiven him, because I believe a person has to understand the harm they did and ask for forgiveness in order to get it, but I no longer carry that baggage around with me. I have set it in the closet and closed the door. It is still there, in case he ever does want forgiveness, but I no longer give it a thought, and it no longer adds weight to my daily load. I'm so glad to hear you have been able to do the same with this awful piece of baggage. You go, girl !!!!!!!

THW

[Steveo]

Dear Bowtwi

I sympathize with the pain you went through and the damage that the Way did to you and your son

Please realize that you are a wonderful person and all of us here give you a nice hug and love you.

Please don't contact the Way anymore! They are meanies and will probably hurt you agin, its best to simply recognize that this is a brainwashed cult and their judgements are FALSE

They also said many things about me when I left...

They said....you are being influenced by a devil spirit, your too stupid to realize that your wrong, you are really "tripped out" (on drugs and not in your right mind), you'll never amount to anything, and the classic line the Way said was...you'll probably be a greasespot by midnight....

Well just the opposite was true....

I went back to school and became a Licensed Practical Nurse

I took my Mom into my home and took care of her for 5 years before she died

I established good relations with my brother and sister, and her children and grandchildren

But most importantly, I was able to pray to God without the twisted and heretical doctines of the Way, so I hope you also realize, you are not the only one they abused, so lets all stick together....

[bowtwi]

Bowtwi,

snip (oh, my, gawd... how can these people not REMEMBER you or doing something that dramatic and traumatic to you????????) Mine also didn't remember doing any harm at all, and gave me a vague sort of "gee, I'm really sorry if something happened that hurt you..." like it was all in my own head or something.

But, like you, I also went through a very cathartic experience and I realized that by facing this, I was taking back the power I had handed over to him.

I no longer carry that baggage around with me. I have set it in the closet and closed the door. It is still there, in case he ever does want forgiveness, but I no longer give it a thought, and it no longer adds weight to my daily load. I'm so glad to hear you have been able to do the same with this awful piece of baggage. You go, girl !!!!!!!

THW

Wow, I'm so blown away by how great it feels inside when someone else who's been there too puts it into words. Reading the part of what you said that I bolded made me feel so warm inside and so hugged, one of those truly comforting hugs - thanks, THW!

I almost quoted your entire post cause the whole thing really resonated for me. It's almost indescribable how wonderful it is to hear of another that has reclaimed their power and know that we know we'll never fall for that malarkey again (lol - way puns - ha ha, makes me think of the way Mal George pronounced special as if it were spay-shull, ah silly flashbacks are so much nicer than the normal twi flashbacks...)

Life just keeps getting better every day.

Steveo,

They're meanies, alright - for now! They won't be so mean (or powerful) when they're standing around wondering where all those crowns and rewards are one day!

Sounds like you did exactly opposite what they prophecied for you - LOL - men of God, yeah right!

I'm glad to meet you, glad you're here.

[TheHighWay]

Wow, I'm so blown away by how great it feels inside when someone else who's been there too puts it into words.

It's almost indescribable how wonderful it is to hear of another that has reclaimed their power and know that we know we'll never fall for that malarkey again

That is exactly how I felt when I read your story -- like, YES!!!

[Watered Garden]

I think I read somewhere or saw a bumper sticker or something that the biggest thing one can do to "get even with" someone who has done them wrong is to forgive them.

I would imagine this fellow's saying he can't remember is just he desperately doesn't WANT to remember.

I'm in that process of forgiveness - it's hard for me to not remember people and the things they say. But I'll be dipped in dog doo if I will let those people have power over me any longer!

Your story ranks right up there with the worst I've heard, and I am so happy for you to have that blessed peace!

WG

[TheHighWay]

Watered Garden, everyone has to find their own peace in their own way, but for me it helped to understand the "not forgiving" didn't mean the same thing as "wanting revenge". For a long time I didn't think I could move on because I knew I couldn't forgive those who hurt my family. First off, they didn't ask for it, and second off they didn't deserve it. But at some point I realized I didn't have to forgive to let go.

There is a great scene from a silly Bill Murray movie called Meatballs, where he is the camp counsellor to a group of misfits who are going to lose the annual competition BIG TIME and look ridiculous doing it... and he goes into this long "inspirational" speech that ends with him screaming "It just doesn't matter!!!!!!" over and over again. And that's where I find myself: in the big picture, in comparison to what I now think is important in my life, when placed alongside my real priorities and concerns, the actions of some self-important, overly-religious, heartlessly-legalistic, brown-nosing mog-wanna-be, son of a sob who thought he could make himself a bigger man by lording over me and my family is nothing more to me than a speck of dirt on a flea's nose on a pig's butt. Insignificant. Unimportant. Not worth my time to bother with.

"It just doesn't matter!"

[Watered Garden]

been a long time since I posted that, but you're right, it just doesn't matter.

Yesterday and today the woman who owns the transcription company I work for (I'm an independent subcontractor) has been having an e-mail version of a screaming hissy-fit at me. I do not feel what she is complaining about is my fault, but hers, and she has been totally dishonest about something she wanted me to do that I found absolutely impossible, kind of like typing in tongues. I was concerned and upset, until I realized that this is not some great mission, but a two-bit job I'm going to dump like garbage as soon as we pay off our credit cards, and that made all the difference. So she's ranting at me...so what. It's HER problem with communication, not mine.

I think TWI-brain trained us to strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.

WG

[crystalclearblue]

I recently have been "found" by my dear friend that had spoken with the then-family corps coordinator that marked and avoided my son and me, throwing us out of the cult over false accusations almost 15 years ago. My friend and I had lost touch over the years and she just found me a couple months ago.

This reunion inspired me to write that man and see if he had anything to say to me and my son, now that he's been out of the cult for years too. I figured I was finally ready to hear what he might say, really thinking he'd say something like it was all a mess and no, we didn't really believe you and your son were doing what we said we believed you were doing. I don't know really what I expected, but here's what I got.

I wrote him on Jan. 23. He wrote me back a week later. 3 days after that, I wrote him again, "filling him in" as he'd asked. Today is Mar 15 and I've still not heard back from him. I was hoping to post a report of some closure. Actually, I am reporting closure, but not thanks to his input.

The very second I hit the Send button on the "filling him in e-mail", I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I hadn't contacted him sooner than this because I wasn't ready to "let him or twi off the hook". If he apologized to me and asked my forgiveness, I would have given it - but somehow I felt like I didn't have to forgive him until he asked me to. Surely he knew what he said and did to me (and my son), surely it wasn't THAT common a thing he had to do in his job - or was it? Nah, couldn't be. Now I'm thinking maybe it was!

I've concluded that for myself, I have come to believe that I didn't want to give that man an opportunity to apologize to me and my son until I was good and ready to forgive him and twi. In my own little corner of the world, I wasn't letting him off the hook that easily. They absolutely DESTROYED my world with their false accusations.

I was going to hold my grudge until he sought me out and asked my forgiveness! When that dawned on me, I realized that I was still giving them power over me and my peace of mind, my future, my kids' lives…

I felt like a fool for being sucked into this cult. I felt like a bad mom for dragging my precious son into it. I felt like a bad wife for divorcing my husband because twi told me to. I felt like I got caught being needy, weak, spiritually immature, all sorts of negatives that I COULDN'T forgive myself for.

What I didn't notice until reading in the current forgiveness thread, was that I hadn't forgiven MYSELF and I wasn't going to even be able to forgive myself until I forgave them! As long as I was focussed on what they'd done to me, I wasn't seeing what I'd done to me by giving them that power over me.

As long as I continued holding my grudge against him and them, I didn't have to face my part in it. As long as he (they) never repented and asked my forgiveness, this resentment and hard heartedness would continue in me. I never had to look at how I contributed to my situation. It was just "all their fault".

I deliberately decided that whether or not I ever heard back an apology from him, I was taking my power back.

It no longer matters to me if I ever hear back from him. I've forgiven him, twi, and best of all, ME. I'm thrilled with the way I feel inside now. I had been carrying around tons of guilt that I really didn't need to carry - for years and years.

Sure, I'd like to hear why they did what they did to me and my son, but it no longer matters to me. It used to be very important to me. I feel truly liberated in a way I hadn't realized I wasn't free. I feel like my healing has really stepped up a notch here. Now I feel free-er than ever!

I changed only the names of the people named to their twi position in this exchange.

On Jan 23, 2008, M&A'd One wrote:

> Family Corp Coord,

>

> My name is M&A'd One. I'm writing to ask you if you'd be so

> kind as to tell me a few things so that I can put away some of my

> history and my son's.

>

> I was told years ago that you made it a point to speak to those

> that wanted to speak with you in cases like ours. I have no idea

> if you still do or not, nor do I know if you even remember us. At

> the time I was told that, I felt unable to speak graciously with you.

>

> I would prefer e-mail contact if it's all the same to you, if

> you're even up for any discussion with me.

>

> Thank you,

>

M&A'd one

On 1/30/08, Family Corps Coord wrote:

Don't remember. Fill me in. I'm kind of at a loss why you figure

what I think even matters.

On 2/2/08, M&A'd One wrote:

Specifically, I mean to ask why me and my son, as well as who did the false accusations come from.

We had been wows in Santa Fe, NM that last year of the wow program. That was also my apprentice year. I spoke with Cabinet Member at the rock, told him I felt it would have been best for me to take a second apprentice year as I still had some debt to handle for my son's hospitalization while we were wow. He convinced me that God wanted me in THAT corps, that year, that God had big plans for me. I found someone to take over my payments on that debt while I would be in residence.

I went into residence and was thrilled that you were the coordinator, although when I heard Former Family Corps Coords weren't staying on as corps coordinators I was disappointed. I had met you when you came to my home state to visit your son in the hospital. I had been impressed with you and you were, in my opinion, a great man of God. I couldn't wait to learn at your feet.

I ate breakfast at the head table with you and the Asst Family Corps Coords, feeling like I was right where God wanted me and when my first assignment in residence was to clean toilets I was thankful for the opportunity. Within 30 minutes of starting that assignment I was summoned to the president's parlor where you first demanded that I not speak a single word, as anything I would say would be a lie. You went on, in front of my beloved Asst Corps Coords, to chew me up and spit me out like I'd never been talked to in all my life.

You accused my son of being a homosexual child molester, said you had a drawing of my son with some boy's "dick in his mouth" and refused to tell me who said such things about my son. You accused me of trying to "sneak this contamination" onto your campus and made it very clear that I was no longer welcome at the way and that God was onto me and you guys there weren't fooled either. You "allowed" me one hour to pack up and get off "your campus". You demanded that I go to the high school and get my "piece of dang" son. You said that if I ran true to form I would be badmouthing the ministry within 24 hours.

You broke me. I drove about a half mile from the campus after Asst Family Corps Coord packed me up, as I was physically and emotionally destroyed, unable to pack myself.

I barely made it to the school, where I asked my son about the sex he'd been having. I tried to call headquarters and talk to TWI President or someone who could help us get to the bottom of this misunderstanding. Trunk Coord finally took the call and attacked us some more, insisting that we had best not go over there, as there were armed guards patrolling the grounds on the lookout for us, with pictures of me and my 13-year-old son. We were clearly no longer welcome at the way.

That same week, a friend of mine from home that had never been involved in the way, called me at the Indiana campus and was given to you. You used the most vile language she had ever heard in her life, shocked her to think you were a minister speaking that way, and said that you told her if she thought I was so great she should go to FL and bed down with me - that I was a lesbian.

My questions for you are simply:

1. Where did you get this information about my son and me?

2. Why were we singled out and falsely accused?

Family Corps Coord, my son was not nor is he a homosexual. IF he were, I'd love him just the same. He is not, though, and those were false accusations. I believed in the way ministry and the way corps program and taught my son as I believed.

We were completely destroyed by your words. We were never given the opportunity to face our accusers or answer to the accusations.

It took me years to understand that the way was not what I had believed it to be. I sunk my whole heart and soul into that ministry, as I believe you did.

Please help me put these last pieces to rest so I can put that away once and for all.

It's what you thought then, not what you think now, that I'm asking. I don't imagine you believe now what you did then. At least I hope not, for your sake. I believe at this point that you were "just doing your job" and following what you were instructed to do in your position at the time. I see you as no more guilty than I was when I avoided others who had been falsely accused before me.

I bear no ill will toward you. I'm simply trying to put closure to that horrific experience my son and I survived.

M&A'd One

Dear Bowtwi,

I read your posts about what happened to you and your son. You are an amazing woman to have survived and forgiven all of that. You are an inspiration to all of us. I'm glad your dear friend found you. She was pivotal in helping you understand what was really true. I was wondering if this man ever acknowledged your second letter or tried to make ammends. I hope you don't mind me asking. CrystalCB.

[bowtwi]

Dear Bowtwi,

I read your posts about what happened to you and your son. You are an amazing woman to have survived and forgiven all of that. You are an inspiration to all of us. I'm glad your dear friend found you. She was pivotal in helping you understand what was really true. I was wondering if this man ever acknowledged your second letter or tried to make ammends. I hope you don't mind me asking. CrystalCB.

No, this man never did contact me with an answer to any of my questions. Just shows me what he's made of and what he's not.

I really was set free from all things way with this exchange. I really no longer care why me, why my child, why anything. I'm really just thankful to be making my own decisions and living my own life. I've found a wonderful church family and community and I have great peace and joy in my life.

The friends I had before the way have been slowly finding me and returning to my life. I'm so much better off without the way international.

Thanks for asking.

[crystalclearblue]

No, this man never did contact me with an answer to any of my questions. Just shows me what he's made of and what he's not.

I really was set free from all things way with this exchange. I really no longer care why me, why my child, why anything. I'm really just thankful to be making my own decisions and living my own life. I've found a wonderful church family and community and I have great peace and joy in my life.

The friends I had before the way have been slowly finding me and returning to my life. I'm so much better off without the way international.

Thanks for asking.

Thanks for answering. I'm glad your life is so much better. I'm also glad you only had a day or so in residence. It just would have wasted more of your time on the road to recovery.

I think I know the man you are talking about. I always had the impression his wife didn't love him. She always seemed to be annoyed at him, and I saw her cringe once when he touched her shoulder. He seemed afraid of her, like he knew he was on shaky ground. She in turn would teach and speed talk with a southern accent. I never got what was supposed to be so great about them. He rambled. In my opinion.

It's interesting really. When twi wanted to mark and avoid his kid-they stopped "standing" with twi. They could dish it out but they couldn't take it. In my opinion.

They only agreed when the abuse was aimed at others, even relished in it. In my opinion. Then suddenly became offended when they had to walk in the shoes of people they themselves have abused. In my opinion. He seemed to be so enamored with LCM, even put up with all those dumb Texas jokes. In my opinion, he was probably lost for a long time with no one to worship. In my opinion, this was a man with not much quality of life or integrity.

Your email probably left him shaking in his shoes. Too much of a coward to apologize for abusing a woman and her son. He didn't forget what he did. He's just too weak of a man to make it right. Of course this is all just my opinion.

I appreciate your posts, I think when other people realize that you recovered from this atrocity, they might think it's possible for them to recover too.

Best wishes to you Bowtwi, Bow jr. and Princess.

[Shellon]

:) I've always been so proud of you, Box

What joy to be your friend........